FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What would turn couples off our profile?
What would turn couples off our profile?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We've emailed quite a few local(ish) couples on the site recently and found that most have not even replied. We think our emails have been courteous and basically said that we really liked their profile, they sounded similar to us and if they liked our profile perhaps we could chat. Radio silence mostly after that in terms of replies
These are couples who have veris so they are not fake. They are also similar to ourselves in profile terms (age, body type, location, etc.).
We don't expect everyone to fall at our feet but our hit rate (before exchanging face pics) is incredibly low.
Is there something in our profile that could be turning couples off us ? Not sure if the site has just got tougher in that respect but any advice would be appreciated
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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago
liverpool |
"We've emailed quite a few local(ish) couples on the site recently and found that most have not even replied. We think our emails have been courteous and basically said that we really liked their profile, they sounded similar to us and if they liked our profile perhaps we could chat. Radio silence mostly after that in terms of replies
These are couples who have veris so they are not fake. They are also similar to ourselves in profile terms (age, body type, location, etc.).
We don't expect everyone to fall at our feet but our hit rate (before exchanging face pics) is incredibly low.
Is there something in our profile that could be turning couples off us ? Not sure if the site has just got tougher in that respect but any advice would be appreciated
"
Profile looks fine to us, you have stated your preferences so maybe the people you have mailed feel they fall outside that criteria so feel no point in replying ( though a not interested would probably be more polite )
Just stick with it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't see anything that would be immediately off putting to use, we aren't within your preferences so wouldn't mail you, so it might be the couples feel the same.
The only thing I would suggest is that the pics you have up, maybe update them so there are more of you now than 6 years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the replies.
We are quite specific on our profile (L is a fussy woman but hey women are allowed to be fussy ).
Our profile is very specific but we only try to message only couples who meet that criteria.
Good point on the photos. We have been meaning to get new photos for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good profile. If I was looking on our couple profile I'd be put off by you want to chat before exchanging face pics. For us, an attraction is vital so we'd want to exchange pics early on. No point chatting for weeks and then finding out you didn't fancy us or we didn't fancy you. That's just us though, maybe we're different to others. |
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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Good profile. If I was looking on our couple profile I'd be put off by you want to chat before exchanging face pics. For us, an attraction is vital so we'd want to exchange pics early on. No point chatting for weeks and then finding out you didn't fancy us or we didn't fancy you. That's just us though, maybe we're different to others. "
 we'd say exactly this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We take the point of chatting before pics may be an issue. We did once almost send face pics to someone we knew via one of our workplaces. Luckily they sent their pics first and we recognised them. That's made us really careful with pics.
We don't chat for weeks before pic exchange but like to find out a bit about the couple (e.g. Are you relatives, workmates or neighbours?) before sending pics. Maybe we should say we like to exchange A FEW messages before face pics and see whether puts less people off ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We take the point of chatting before pics may be an issue. We did once almost send face pics to someone we knew via one of our workplaces. Luckily they sent their pics first and we recognised them. That's made us really careful with pics.
We don't chat for weeks before pic exchange but like to find out a bit about the couple (e.g. Are you relatives, workmates or neighbours?) before sending pics. Maybe we should say we like to exchange A FEW messages before face pics and see whether puts less people off ? "
Well your profile says this:
"We value our privacy (and yours) so don't expect to send a face pic on your first email and for us to send one back."
If you're only concern was knowing them in real life that's a bit of a contradiction.
It's up to you if you don't want to send face pics before chatting a while, your profile, run it however you want. You did ask if aspects of it are off putting though and that certainly is. Especially as we are a long way from you (though quite willing to travel to Edinburgh) so the likelihood of being related is nil. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We take the point of chatting before pics may be an issue. We did once almost send face pics to someone we knew via one of our workplaces. Luckily they sent their pics first and we recognised them. That's made us really careful with pics.
We don't chat for weeks before pic exchange but like to find out a bit about the couple (e.g. Are you relatives, workmates or neighbours?) before sending pics. Maybe we should say we like to exchange A FEW messages before face pics and see whether puts less people off ?
Well your profile says this:
We value our privacy (and yours) so don't expect to send a face pic on your first email and for us to send one back.
If you're only concern was knowing them in real life that's a bit of a contradiction.
It's up to you if you don't want to send face pics before chatting a while, your profile, run it however you want. You did ask if aspects of it are off putting though and that certainly is. Especially as we are a long way from you (though quite willing to travel to Edinburgh) so the likelihood of being related is nil. "
We understand your point. We weren't specific enough. It's not just about us directly knowing the person but about them being so local that we suddenly start bumping into them at the local supermarket.
Maybe we're just weird in that sense but we like to find out enough so that the chance of them coming into contact with our real personal life is as low as possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good profile. If I was looking on our couple profile I'd be put off by you want to chat before exchanging face pics. For us, an attraction is vital so we'd want to exchange pics early on. No point chatting for weeks and then finding out you didn't fancy us or we didn't fancy you. That's just us though, maybe we're different to others.
we'd say exactly this. "
And us. No point in corresponding if there is no attraction. And pictures not on this site? No thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good profile. If I was looking on our couple profile I'd be put off by you want to chat before exchanging face pics. For us, an attraction is vital so we'd want to exchange pics early on. No point chatting for weeks and then finding out you didn't fancy us or we didn't fancy you. That's just us though, maybe we're different to others.
we'd say exactly this.
And us. No point in corresponding if there is no attraction. And pictures not on this site? No thanks."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good profile. If I was looking on our couple profile I'd be put off by you want to chat before exchanging face pics. For us, an attraction is vital so we'd want to exchange pics early on. No point chatting for weeks and then finding out you didn't fancy us or we didn't fancy you. That's just us though, maybe we're different to others.
we'd say exactly this.
And us. No point in corresponding if there is no attraction. And pictures not on this site? No thanks."
Great feedback although we are careful of having face pics. That way when the site is hacked our faces aren't related to a swinging site but there's probably no need for us to explain that on our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good profile. If I was looking on our couple profile I'd be put off by you want to chat before exchanging face pics. For us, an attraction is vital so we'd want to exchange pics early on. No point chatting for weeks and then finding out you didn't fancy us or we didn't fancy you. That's just us though, maybe we're different to others.
we'd say exactly this.
And us. No point in corresponding if there is no attraction. And pictures not on this site? No thanks.
Great feedback although we are careful of having face pics. That way when the site is hacked our faces aren't related to a swinging site but there's probably no need for us to explain that on our profile. "
Use the site as you wish. Others use it as they wish. When the wishes do not coincide, then a connection is not going to happen.
Nothing wrong with your approach. We just prefer an early exchange. It is a bit more embarrassing and disappointing when after half-a-dozen messages, you get to see the face pictures, only to find that there is no attraction. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me it would be that you can not accommodate, if I would have you in my home, then I expect the same from you
P xx"
We can't accommodate due to having kids. Don't really fancy shagging another couple while our kids are sleeping in the next room but again it's a good point and we should explain we generally meet in hotels.
It's amazing the problems on our profile that we never even considered ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think lots female couples are bi and looking for the same so the straight bit may put people off? Not sure what couples you are messaging?
Profile seems fine to me tho. Maybe few diff pics? Bit of variety ? |
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"I think lots female couples are bi and looking for the same so the straight bit may put people off?"
This was my thought too. It's almost a surprise to find a couple where the female is bi Bi play provides more scope in a meet as well as a buffer zone between soft swap and same couple sex.
Totally your choice though |
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You do seem quite vague on a few of your likes or rather not vague more open to interpratation, by that i mean you don't like facial hair..is that mountain man beards a goatee or a bit of designer stubble? Also you don't appreciate ample people? Another term with a far range of meanings my partner describes herself as curvy size 12-14(i belive) but that may well be your interpratation of ample??, The crux of my point is the way your profile reads(to me) is that anyone with insecuritys or doubts in regards to there personal view of themselves would be put off seeing if they match up to your standards(again i'm not saying your standards are wrong but if i feel i'm below someones expectations i just move right on to the next people) just my two cents |
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Just that plus your upper age range is tight, sure rules us out.
Straight again reduces the pool.
As said your rules your choice and like us every issue, in our case mainly cats rules out a fair few.
Good luck
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did you send your face picture in the messages ? "
No we didn't send face pics in the message. We don't send face pics until after we have messaged a few times to check they are not relatives, neighbours or workmates . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you send your face picture in the messages ?
No we didn't send face pics in the message. We don't send face pics until after we have messaged a few times to check they are not relatives, neighbours or workmates ."
Haha yes awkward if that happens.
To come back on the topic, I don't see why, maybe after reading your profile they don't categorise themselves into your criterias, therefore decide to not take it further.
It is rude though |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did you send your face picture in the messages ?
No we didn't send face pics in the message. We don't send face pics until after we have messaged a few times to check they are not relatives, neighbours or workmates .
Haha yes awkward if that happens.
To come back on the topic, I don't see why, maybe after reading your profile they don't categorise themselves into your criterias, therefore decide to not take it further.
It is rude though "
We realise people don't need to get back to a message but we pretty much always do to guys and couples. We think it is rude if someone sends you a decent message and you don't get back to even say no thanks but we realise site protocol means no reply equals no thanks (before someone flames us) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you send your face picture in the messages ?
No we didn't send face pics in the message. We don't send face pics until after we have messaged a few times to check they are not relatives, neighbours or workmates .
Haha yes awkward if that happens.
To come back on the topic, I don't see why, maybe after reading your profile they don't categorise themselves into your criterias, therefore decide to not take it further.
It is rude though
We realise people don't need to get back to a message but we pretty much always do to guys and couples. We think it is rude if someone sends you a decent message and you don't get back to even say no thanks but we realise site protocol means no reply equals no thanks (before someone flames us) "
Oh yes but still, manners don't cost nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did you send your face picture in the messages ?
No we didn't send face pics in the message. We don't send face pics until after we have messaged a few times to check they are not relatives, neighbours or workmates .
Haha yes awkward if yhat happens.
To come back on the topic, I don't see why, maybe after reading your profile they don't categorise themselves into your criterias, therefore decide to not take it further.
It is rude though
We realise people don't need to get back to a message but we pretty much always do to guys and couples. We think it is rude if someone sends you a decent message and you don't get back to even say no thanks but we realise site protocol means no reply equals no thanks (before someone flames us)
Oh yes but still, manners don't cost nothing."
It's not about manners, it's about not putting yourself forward for the abuse that can come from a small minority of users when you say know. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did you send your face picture in the messages ?
No we didn't send face pics in the message. We don't send face pics until after we have messaged a few times to check they are not relatives, neighbours or workmates .
Haha yes awkward if yhat happens.
To come back on the topic, I don't see why, maybe after reading your profile they don't categorise themselves into your criterias, therefore decide to not take it further.
It is rude though
We realise people don't need to get back to a message but we pretty much always do to guys and couples. We think it is rude if someone sends you a decent message and you don't get back to even say no thanks but we realise site protocol means no reply equals no thanks (before someone flames us)
Oh yes but still, manners don't cost nothing.
It's not about manners, it's about not putting yourself forward for the abuse that can come from a small minority of users when you say know."
We've said no to a lot of (mostly single guys) people over our years on the site. 99% have been very civil. For the other 1% there is the block button. We, personally, would not like to forget our manners because of a tiny number of idiots. However each to their own as they say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My only initial Critique would be where is the picture of you both as a couple on your main profile? Yes it's normal the lady that attracts more attention (well it is in our case).
Try a local social event where you could meet with several couples at the same time (they can be interesting)
Good luck with your searching
Dreams |
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