FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What am i doing wrong..!!!!!
What am i doing wrong..!!!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ive been on this site for a year now and came on to meet women mostly..
but as its turned out im only meeting guys, no women seem to want to meet..
Anyone want to have a look at my profile and let me know what im doing wrong...Ta  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've met couples and guys? Surely a couple includes a woman, or are you saying you want to meet a single woman? Perhaps its that word married thats putting most off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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the reason i say im married, is i want to be open with peeps not wait till im nearly meeting then they ask the question, r u married and then it all goes tits up, if anyone gets in touch its coz they dontmind that im married, which is a good start, i think.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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maybe its the word curious that puts some fems off, looking at your veris you play with guys so you aint curious any more alter it to experienced ya never know ya might have more luck, have fun anyways  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the reason i say im married, is i want to be open with peeps not wait till im nearly meeting then they ask the question, r u married and then it all goes tits up, if anyone gets in touch its coz they dontmind that im married, which is a good start, i think.."
Id gathered that which is great as most dont bother, im just confused by your post thats all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well for me never meet married man as i dnt belive in cheating .....other one am not in to bi men so suppose you dnt meet peoples needs..........
and at end day we all cnt meet what we want or we would not all be here .
dis you wife know u on this ????and dis she not want to play as a couple bit harsh but am honest up front .
prehaps look for married couples or married woman to play with you probs get loads offers lol |
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"why dont you invite your wife to join you on here?
Why does he have to though?  "
good point bb!
he has set his stall out for all to make an INFORMED choice as to whether they want to meet him or not.
his reasons for doing what he is doing are his reasons
OPthe fact you are married will put a ot off but at least you are getting some meets which s more than some single males lol |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"the reason i say im married, is i want to be open with peeps not wait till im nearly meeting then they ask the question, r u married and then it all goes tits up, if anyone gets in touch its coz they dontmind that im married, which is a good start, i think.."
I think you are right to tell people from the off, then they can decide wether to meet or not.
None the less it will mean a good % of people won't want to meet you.
Your profile seems ok to me except for the warning at the bottom, I would take that off.
You seem to have more meets than a lot of single men so you can't be doing too bad  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Interesting comments from you all, i like the variety.
I have taken on board the positive ones and will scritinie my profile and delete and adjust where necessary.
I take this minute to thank you all, and happy swinging...K..xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting comments from you all, i like the variety.
I have taken on board the positive ones and will scritinie my profile and delete and adjust where necessary.
I take this minute to thank you all, and happy swinging...K..xx "
yes you havent taken the warning rubbish off? |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"
the reason i say im married, is i want to be open with peeps
why dont you invite your wife to join you on here?
I personally don't think that is relevant."
Of course it is! He is asking why he is not getting the sort of meets he wants. He says he wants to be "open with peeps". Well he is not being open with the one person he should be open with! Perhaps that is why he is not getting the right meets and perhaps that was a very clever way of getting him to realise that point himself..
In an open forum, surely people can comment how they want as long as it is not insulting or rude?  |
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"Of course it is! He is asking why he is not getting the sort of meets he wants. He says he wants to be "open with peeps". Well he is not being open with the one person he should be open with! Perhaps that is why he is not getting the right meets and perhaps that was a very clever way of getting him to realise that point himself..
In an open forum, surely people can comment how they want as long as it is not insulting or rude? "
How do you know he "is not being open with the one person he should be open with"? He's stated he's married - that's all. He hasn't mentioned anything other than that.
Maybe his wife is aware that he has an account on here, maybe she isn't, maybe she's a swinger, maybe she isn't, maybe she's a devout Christian who believes strongly in monogamy and abhors infidelity whilst also, bizarrely, being an axe-wielding, psychotic murderer... but then again, maybe she isn't.
None of us know the OP's circumstances. We can all assume things, but y'know what they say when you assume something... I have my opinion on this, as I'm sure you do and everyone else does, but I also realise I've formed this without knowing all the facts.
Personally I'm starting to find self-righteous, arrogant posts to be tiring.
As for the comment being a very clever way of getting him to realise that point for himself, I don't see it as being particularly clever. In fact, I thought it was just a snide remark - nothing more. If the intention had been to suggest that couples get more meets than singles, then I would have considered it to be a cleverer response.
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"
the reason i say im married, is i want to be open with peeps
why dont you invite your wife to join you on here?
I personally don't think that is relevant.
Of course it is! He is asking why he is not getting the sort of meets he wants. He says he wants to be "open with peeps". Well he is not being open with the one person he should be open with! Perhaps that is why he is not getting the right meets and perhaps that was a very clever way of getting him to realise that point himself..
In an open forum, surely people can comment how they want as long as it is not insulting or rude? "
How do you know he doesn't know it already?
He is on here for his own reasons - just like you are and it is up to the individual how they run their own life.
It was an irrelevant question to his question, in my opinion too that is! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
the reason i say im married, is i want to be open with peeps
why dont you invite your wife to join you on here?
I personally don't think that is relevant.
Of course it is! He is asking why he is not getting the sort of meets he wants. He says he wants to be "open with peeps". Well he is not being open with the one person he should be open with! Perhaps that is why he is not getting the right meets and perhaps that was a very clever way of getting him to realise that point himself..
In an open forum, surely people can comment how they want as long as it is not insulting or rude? "
I will say again I personally don't think it is a relevant question.
The man isn't asking for his married life to be questioned, he was asking how he could get advice on how to get meets as a male playing alone.
If he needed relate I am sure he could seek that out himself.
To your other comment.....if you see any comment that I have made that says people are not allowed to comment on the forums I will run naked through Derby shopping centre. |
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"To your other comment.....if you see any comment that I have made that says people are not allowed to comment on the forums I will run naked through Derby shopping centre."
WooHoo... I'm off to search all your posts you've ever made in the forum!!!
If I find one, can I pick the date and time you'll do it?  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"To your other comment.....if you see any comment that I have made that says people are not allowed to comment on the forums I will run naked through Derby shopping centre.
WooHoo... I'm off to search all your posts you've ever made in the forum!!!
If I find one, can I pick the date and time you'll do it? "
lol you sure can |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
Firstly… Carambar
Unlike you and most others on here, I can only go on the information I read on here. He said he is married with no indication that his wife knows what he is up to! Unlike you, I will make a judgement based on what I read and my interpretation of that. You can speculate all day long as to what is between the lines, but that makes you no more right than me!
" Personally I'm starting to find self-righteous, arrogant posts to be tiring"
Well, the answer to that is to stop typing them then!
Bb430…
Well, we don’t know if he already knows it or not! But he did ask the question as though he wanted answers and didn’t know, so he was answered with that person’s opinion! Of course he is on here for his own reasons, but as said before, I can only base an answer on what I see typed! Yes it is up to him to him how he runs his life, but that can be said of child molesters and axe murderers, does that mean we should all mind our own business and leave them to it!
Like you, I have my opinions and this is one of them!
Rugby…
OK, I did kinda skip over the “personally” word, but.. If he is posting on a forum that is open and he is saying that he is having trouble getting meets (although he seems to doing better than most!) that point about him being married may be very relevant!
Again, I didn’t meant to imply that you have ever said anything other than that people are allowed to comment as long as … In fact, the reason I brought that up was because I have seen you defending peoples rights to comment as they see fit! But here you are saying that it was irrelevant! Firstly it is not (see above) and secondly, it was an opinion of someone’s that is a valid as any one else’s!
(the rest of you… Please contact admin to see if they would be prepared to “forge” a post from Rugby! Reckon about 200 mails might do it! )
Right, off to Derby with me camping chair to stake out a good spot!
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"
Bb430…
Well, we don’t know if he already knows it or not! But he did ask the question as though he wanted answers and didn’t know, so he was answered with that person’s opinion! Of course he is on here for his own reasons, but as said before, I can only base an answer on what I see typed! Yes it is up to him to him how he runs his life, but that can be said of child molesters and axe murderers, does that mean we should all mind our own business and leave them to it!
Like you, I have my opinions and this is one of them!
"
Comparing someone on a swinging site (whether they are married or not) to "child molesters and axe murderers" is just plain ridiculous and anyone with an ounce of common sense would see that too!
You said that the comment "why dont you invite your wife to join you on here?" (by another poster) was relevant to the original question; It wasn't, it was just someone having a dig at the OP. Whereas, him being married itself might be relevant, the "dig at him" wasn't in the context it was put.
I don't get myself involved in how someone runs their life and don't have "digs" at them just because they have decided to come on here without their partner. That's their decision and not mine, yours or anyone elses to make for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I think it is rather relevant to his question, we all know if he was here with his wife he’d probably have more success so yes it’s relevant.
We’re often reminded on here not dissect peoples profiles unless that’s what the OP has asked for and in this case that’s exactly what has been asked, so anything is relevant unless its abusive.
To the OP, the bottom line is there’s just far too many single men to women/couples on here and the fact you’re married will reduce your chances, however you’ve had meets which is a lot better than most manage, although if like you state you came here to look for couples and women then wouldn’t it be better just to select (MF) couples and women in you looking for list rather than everything available?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive been on this site for a year now and came on to meet women mostly..
but as its turned out im only meeting guys, no women seem to want to meet..
Anyone want to have a look at my profile and let me know what im doing wrong...Ta "
Bet you wished you had no asked now eh pal?
Lol.
Good luck anyways... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ted,
I'd remove the phone number if I were you and that old bollox about Sydney University. WTF is that all about? I've seen that on so many peoples profile. Why Sydney? Is it a centre of excellence in Swinging Studies or something? Are you that bothered about people on the other side of the world and their opinions?
Other than that pal I'd say you weren't doing too much wrong and your profile reads well to me. I'd lose that bit about being married too. Puts the fear of God in some, being named in a divorce case etc. Just say you are attached or you have a partner.
Just my opinion bud |
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"We’re often reminded on here not dissect peoples profiles unless that’s what the OP has asked for and in this case that’s exactly what has been asked, so anything is relevant unless its abusive.
"
discecting peoples profiles is ok, discecting HIS choice to be on here when he is married is perhaps not.
personally i think it is good that he states he is married as it allows any potential play mates to make an informed choice (yes i know i am repeating myself from my original post but sometimes repition is needed )
if he had come on asking 'hey guys do you think its ok for me to be on here if i am married' then yes maybe the comments about his wife would be appropriate |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
Rugby…
OK, I did kinda skip over the “personally” word, but.. If he is posting on a forum that is open and he is saying that he is having trouble getting meets (although he seems to doing better than most!) that point about him being married may be very relevant!
Again, I didn’t meant to imply that you have ever said anything other than that people are allowed to comment as long as … In fact, the reason I brought that up was because I have seen you defending peoples rights to comment as they see fit! But here you are saying that it was irrelevant! Firstly it is not (see above) and secondly, it was an opinion of someone’s that is a valid as any one else’s!
(the rest of you… Please contact admin to see if they would be prepared to “forge” a post from Rugby! Reckon about 200 mails might do it! )
Right, off to Derby with me camping chair to stake out a good spot!
"
lol Rumour.
Yeah of course him being married is relevant to wether he will get meets or not, but that isn't quite the same thing as people asking why doesn't he go and ask his wife to play...that just looks like a big fat dig.
For me, his marriage isn't anything to do with anyone else, and if if it was me playing away and someone asked that question the first thing I would say is " I don't think that is relevant" and the second thing I would say is, " now go and mind your own business and I will look after mine ( that is the polite version ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the plain and simple answer, despite the OP's honesty in his profile (perhaps to be applauded?), is that a lot of people do not want to associate knowingly with a liar and a cheat, which is what is basically happening when you meet a married man without the consent of his wife.
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"Ive been on this site for a year now and came on to meet women mostly..
but as its turned out im only meeting guys, no women seem to want to meet..
Anyone want to have a look at my profile and let me know what im doing wrong...Ta "
Have looked at your profile, and there are a few things that instantly put us off as a couple, and if they put us off then any couple similar to us will also be put off.
you have no pic on profile, we like to see a face.
you are as you admit married.
You are bi, in fact more bi than straight according to your verifications.
take away all the couples like ourselves and you have already cut down your target market considerably |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do women want to meet you when you meet them in public, or because you are online you think that you should be able to meet anyone?!
Have you got to know any women through the forums or chat rooms?
I have bigger problems, I meet women and then they remove themselves from the site...!! Leaving me without verifications! hahaha!
Personally man up get on with it, and if you came on here to talk to women...... leave the boys alone!
10 p inserted, and sitting back calmer and more relaxed now...! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the plain and simple answer, despite the OP's honesty in his profile (perhaps to be applauded?), is that a lot of people do not want to associate knowingly with a liar and a cheat, which is what is basically happening when you meet a married man without the consent of his wife.
"
People know that already dont need it spelling out to them,if people want to meet a married man then thats up to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Friskyfella has came up with one of the best replies yet..
Its amusing to see how one can be so judemental when they dont know anything about the person in question.
The fact that im married, has nothing to do with my question that i posted.
All im asking was how to meet more women than men....oh ive changed my pro to Bisexual now instead of bi curious, had enuf meets now to realize im bi now not curious.. |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
BB430
"Comparing someone on a swinging site (whether they are married or not) to "child molesters and axe murderers" is just plain ridiculous and anyone with an ounce of common sense would see that too! "
I did not compare the OP with an axe murderer or a child molester! I compared the attitude of people who ignore what is going on in the world under the guise of the new religion "Political Correctness" with myself, who will comment on others as I see fit!
We have been in the scene for a good many years and only ten years ago, if someone announced that they were married and just looking sex, they would have got short shrift! Still would on at least one of the sites we are on...
These days, especially on Fab, it seems that no one has any moral values and anything goes.. Sorry, not my view and I will continue to comment on what I see as immoral actions, whether by singles or couples..
Hows it go? Just my opinion!!! |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"BB430
Comparing someone on a swinging site (whether they are married or not) to "child molesters and axe murderers" is just plain ridiculous and anyone with an ounce of common sense would see that too!
I did not compare the OP with an axe murderer or a child molester! I compared the attitude of people who ignore what is going on in the world under the guise of the new religion "Political Correctness" with myself, who will comment on others as I see fit!
We have been in the scene for a good many years and only ten years ago, if someone announced that they were married and just looking sex, they would have got short shrift! Still would on at least one of the sites we are on...
These days, especially on Fab, it seems that no one has any moral values and anything goes.. Sorry, not my view and I will continue to comment on what I see as immoral actions, whether by singles or couples..
Hows it go? Just my opinion!!! "
Rumour
If you re-read the post I was quoting of yours then you will see that you did actually make that comparison
Anyway, there are loads of folk away from swinging that would consider the whole idea of what we do here "immoral" and I doubt very much if you would like someone to have a dig at the 2 of you for what you are doing seeing as it is your choice to do it; just like it is the OP's choice do it the way he wants to too, it's not down to me, you or anyone else to give the OP (or anyone else on here) "short shrift" for the way they want to spend their time on here doing what they want to themselves. |
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