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Ahhh!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So this morning started well, and for the past hour I've been texting back and forth with a lady whos partner I Whatsapp'd told me he was single and we're now meeting this afternoon for a chat. I've nothing to hide from her so I'm not too worried more about how she'll take my answers. Any advice for a nervy me? Hes deleted his profile and I'm now wishing is saved his emails to show her as they're gone too. Thankfully no pervy pictures were exchanged only face pictures. |
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I read your OP as you are meeting the woman this afternoon, please tell me I read that wrong?
If you feel the need to answer her texts, fine, but meeting her face to face is foolish in my opinion and has the potential to get messy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wouldnt it be easier to just watch a bit of jeremy kyle if you like a bit of family breakdown....why on earth would you meet her? i dont see what you would hope to acheive other than satisfying some prurient curiosity...it wont help the poor woman any... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I feel like she may not believe what I've said over text, if not to ease her mind. If I was a vanilla woman in a long term relationship with a guy I'd sure as hell want answers too. I've been in her shoes before and it messed me up for a long time and I never understood why he would do that to me, I've only ever been interested in single men and told myself if it happened to someone and I was the other woman I'd help her get closure as much as I could. As mad as it seems it's a public place we've agreed to meet. I hope for their kids sake they sort it out. |
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Seems a bit out of order to me.so you found out a guy you been communicating with and now you want to meet the wife to discuss it with her. WHY? Why not just take it as you had a lucky escape and walk away |
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You say you have been in her shoes, so is this about you finding your peace and telling her what you needed to hear back when .... if you hope they get through it then your best bet is to leave them to it. The last thing I would want is some other random woman helping me sort my partner out .... leave it to them, their love, their history .... consider yourself a flu in their ointment and nothing more, don't give yourself any more importance than that and they won't. Its time for you to step back from the limelight and let them sort out what they have .... you could always off to babysit whilst they have some quality time together? Who says you have the answers anyway, how long have you known him? Do you know him even? Can you tell her why he did it? The fixing and rebuilding of their relationship comes from them, not you .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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he is by definition a liar. neither of you will 'get closure' by meeting,as neither of you have any reason to believe a word he says. she also has no reason to believe a word you say to her.. leave the poor woman alone. there is nothing she can hear from you that is going to make her feel any better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whether she believes you or not is her choice. I would seriously consider backing out gracefully. You've given her info as requested, nothing more to be gained from publicly going face to face with her. Decline politely and block all means of contact.
Not your circus. Not your monkeys. |
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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago
Near enough |
Why get involved at all? Sounds like he's been caught and you're having to justify it to his missus.
Walk away with your head held high, there's nothing to gain by entering into their domestic. You've had the conversation by text, let that be it done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You say you have been in her shoes, so is this about you finding your peace and telling her what you needed to hear back when .... if you hope they get through it then your best bet is to leave them to it. The last thing I would want is some other random woman helping me sort my partner out .... leave it to them, their love, their history .... consider yourself a flu in their ointment and nothing more, don't give yourself any more importance than that and they won't. Its time for you to step back from the limelight and let them sort out what they have .... you could always off to babysit whilst they have some quality time together? Who says you have the answers anyway, how long have you known him? Do you know him even? Can you tell her why he did it? The fixing and rebuilding of their relationship comes from them, not you ...."
This  |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
OP. I can understand why you are meeting the lady. I hope it went and was not too emotional or upsetting. You are not to blame at all. I think you meeting her will mean she can get honest answers about what occurred with you and her partner. She has little chance of getting the truth out of him.
She can then decide what to do with the lying cheating scum bag. But she needs I formation to make a decision. Well done for helping with providing the truth for her.
Hope the meeting went OK. Do let us know. |
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"I think she's choosing not to."
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc |
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc"
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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still think its just prurient curiosity as there is no other reason to meet at all. kidding yourself you are somehow helping her is nonsense,just compounding the poor womans humiliation,particularly as he is lying to both, so any exchange of 'information' is completely pointless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there "
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way."
quite agree, which is why i can't sse the point of adding to her misery to satisfy some curiosity or whatever..just giving him even more influence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way.
quite agree, which is why i can't sse the point of adding to her misery to satisfy some curiosity or whatever..just giving him even more influence."
if she has her suspicions anyway i don't see the harm in confirming those for her.
doubt i'd meet someone unless i'd had an affair with the guy but if the cheated on woman needs someone to talk to about her husband i really don't see the harm. in fact i respect the OP for taking the time to go and talk to her.
i see people saying keep out of the relationship, nothing to do with anyone else, etc, but that guy brought other people into it now and it's not just their relationship any more.
some people do this to triangulate but the OP is going there for the lady and not to co-operate in triangulating with the guy. |
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way."
I think you may be right in the case of the OP, but in the case of the other woman, I'd say it's a woman who's trying to mess up her life, and her husband's life, and her kids' lives, and her marriage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way.
I think you may be right in the case of the OP, but in the case of the other woman, I'd say it's a woman who's trying to mess up her life, and her husband's life, and her kids' lives, and her marriage. "
husband has already messed it up now. he's a liar and lied to his wife, who suspects he's a liar. marriage means nothing to him, imo. lies are the biggest way to disrespect another person.
nothing better than the truth coming out in these cases. the wife has a right to the truth and to base her choices on that truth as she sees fit. |
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way.
I think you may be right in the case of the OP, but in the case of the other woman, I'd say it's a woman who's trying to mess up her life, and her husband's life, and her kids' lives, and her marriage.
husband has already messed it up now. he's a liar and lied to his wife, who suspects he's a liar. marriage means nothing to him, imo. lies are the biggest way to disrespect another person.
nothing better than the truth coming out in these cases. the wife has a right to the truth and to base her choices on that truth as she sees fit."
Except, if you re-read OP, all the husband has done is set up a single profile. He didn't even approach the OP, she wazzup'd him.
There are plenty of married men on here with single profiles who are only here for a bit of fantasy, and when the opportunity arises, they run for the hills.
Hardly worth destroying so many lives over is it?
I just hope the kids don't have a rabbit too
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whether she believes you or not is her choice. I would seriously consider backing out gracefully. You've given her info as requested, nothing more to be gained from publicly going face to face with her. Decline politely and block all means of contact.
Not your circus. Not your monkeys. "
exactly what I was about to say! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way.
I think you may be right in the case of the OP, but in the case of the other woman, I'd say it's a woman who's trying to mess up her life, and her husband's life, and her kids' lives, and her marriage.
husband has already messed it up now. he's a liar and lied to his wife, who suspects he's a liar. marriage means nothing to him, imo. lies are the biggest way to disrespect another person.
nothing better than the truth coming out in these cases. the wife has a right to the truth and to base her choices on that truth as she sees fit.
Except, if you re-read OP, all the husband has done is set up a single profile. He didn't even approach the OP, she wazzup'd him.
There are plenty of married men on here with single profiles who are only here for a bit of fantasy, and when the opportunity arises, they run for the hills.
Hardly worth destroying so many lives over is it?
I just hope the kids don't have a rabbit too
"
it says she whatsapped him, didn't say who approached who.
and tbf if he didn't tell his wife he'd set up the profile on here then he is a liar, pure and simple.
my own experience tells me liars should be outed as liars and confirmed as such. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been the man in a similar situation to this.
My Leeds girlfriend found out about my Birmingham girlfriend (this is a long time ago with my ex who to be blunt started the infidelity ball rolling).
Anyway, Leeds girl phoned Birmingham girl while I was in the room. They had a right laugh with each other "Ooh he's a pain in the arse when he does this" and "oh the lying little shite" and things like that. Oh they got on like house on fire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think she's choosing not to.
Which is a shame, since my advice on these sort of threads is never based on experience, but gut-feeling. So I'd welcome some feedback on how it all went.
Once she's out of A&E, obvs...
Mr ddc
Well you joke,but there are some looney tune's out there
half the time when a woman is crazy it's because her guy has been headfucking her to make her that way.
quite agree, which is why i can't sse the point of adding to her misery to satisfy some curiosity or whatever..just giving him even more influence."
This....im in a similar situation...my ex fwb and his partner have harassed me for over two years..its about to become a police matter now as i'm so stressed with it all...their relationship is theirs to sort out and sometimes theres nothing ti be gained by telling the truth either.x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this morning started well, and for the past hour I've been texting back and forth with a lady whos partner I Whatsapp'd told me he was single and we're now meeting this afternoon for a chat. I've nothing to hide from her so I'm not too worried more about how she'll take my answers. Any advice for a nervy me? Hes deleted his profile and I'm now wishing is saved his emails to show her as they're gone too. Thankfully no pervy pictures were exchanged only face pictures. "
Informing is not cool...  |
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"Whether she believes you or not is her choice. I would seriously consider backing out gracefully. You've given her info as requested, nothing more to be gained from publicly going face to face with her. Decline politely and block all means of contact.
Not your circus. Not your monkeys. "
This is v good advice. Sorry but you owe him nothing. Neither you or her are to blame, but walk away... It's not your issue. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
I can say that I've been the cheated on woman in a long term relationship and meeting the other woman he was seeing (well, the main one he was in a relationship with, not the odd shags) helped me loads to sort things in my own head.
I can understand the OP doing this - I think it's a caring thing to do. |
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"I can say that I've been the cheated on woman in a long term relationship and meeting the other woman he was seeing (well, the main one he was in a relationship with, not the odd shags) helped me loads to sort things in my own head.
I can understand the OP doing this - I think it's a caring thing to do."
She's not the other woman though .... she has had minimal contact with him. Hardly the same |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now. "
i've been played and lied to. it fucks with your head. the truth helped me every time.
glad it went ok. |
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"For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now. "
Yea!
Another broken marriage, more kids to growing up in a broken home, a father kept from seeing his kids grow up daily and another woman to grow old and bitter alone with her cats. Well done OP, a result you can be proud of.
Mr.ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'd rather be single than with a liar personally.
my kids see their decent dad 50/50 despite him cheating on me, it was awful when were still living together after he did that.
parents deserve to be happy to and to let their kids know that lack of respect from a partner is not ok. |
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"i'd rather be single than with a liar personally.
my kids see their decent dad 50/50 despite him cheating on me, it was awful when were still living together after he did that.
parents deserve to be happy to and to let their kids know that lack of respect from a partner is not ok."
I always think it's sad when a marriage breaks up and one person walks away thinking they were totally blameless, it just means they are destined to repeat the same mistakes again and again.
 |
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"I can say that I've been the cheated on woman in a long term relationship and meeting the other woman he was seeing (well, the main one he was in a relationship with, not the odd shags) helped me loads to sort things in my own head.
I can understand the OP doing this - I think it's a caring thing to do."
I don't understand this post when put together with the following sentence on your profile.
"I am also married and he is not involved in this, or aware and I want to keep it that way."
Wouldn't it be 'caring' for someone to tell your husband too?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i'd rather be single than with a liar personally.
my kids see their decent dad 50/50 despite him cheating on me, it was awful when were still living together after he did that.
parents deserve to be happy to and to let their kids know that lack of respect from a partner is not ok.
I always think it's sad when a marriage breaks up and one person walks away thinking they were totally blameless, it just means they are destined to repeat the same mistakes again and again.
"
it is sad. i didn't get with my partner thinking we'd split up. thought he was the one and the love of my life and we'd be together until one of us died.
end of the day though he hurt me with his actions, but he didn't even lie to protect me, he lied to protect himself. and that's kind of ok, i get why he did that, but i had to protect myself as well and being with him just wasn't go to work once i knew i couldn't trust him.
and i did try to work it out once i knew the truth but once the trust was gone it was gone and i'd still rather know the truth and not be with him then live the lie he was offering me.
i know i'm not perfect as well and can see where i went wrong in the relationship, i haven't made the same mistakes again but have made other mistakes. still got cheated on anyway, every time. all i've changed now is i'm more cynical of people, lost faith in humanity somewhat, and no way will i ever invest myself in one guy ever again. i don't think anyone will prove to me that they're worth that of me. |
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I'm not sure he would have lied solely to protect himself. There is an element of the Mars/Venus effect often, where men and women say one thing, but the partner hears another. If a man is unhappy, how can he say to his wife "l want to shag someone else" without hurting her feelings? Or if the sex drives are incompatible, is one expected to go without?
I suspect men who lie do it in the hope that they will never be found out, so they will never have to have the conversation. The trouble is, when they think with their cock, their plans are always likely to go awry (and that's without bunny boilers stalking their Facebook).
But don't give up hope, my sister is on her 3rd marriage, and this one will be the one that lasts. She finally accepted what I have been telling her for years and sees her own faults as well as other peoples. |
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"the relationship after him was a complete headfuck. surprised i'm not done with men altogether or people come to that.
"
Our niece used to always choose the most bizarre men to date, I think that was one of the things that finally opened my sister's eyes, that they were so similar. Luckily she too has found someone decent at last. With her it was issues with self-confidence and self-worth, but we had her come live with us for a while, and helped her get her life sorted. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"I can say that I've been the cheated on woman in a long term relationship and meeting the other woman he was seeing (well, the main one he was in a relationship with, not the odd shags) helped me loads to sort things in my own head.
I can understand the OP doing this - I think it's a caring thing to do.
I don't understand this post when put together with the following sentence on your profile.
"I am also married and he is not involved in this, or aware and I want to keep it that way."
Wouldn't it be 'caring' for someone to tell your husband too?
"
I am not on here to be judged - although you seem to be doing enough of that for all of us on this post.
I do what I do for my reasons and you do what you do for yours. Simple.
I don't require or request judgement from you or anybody. I am honest enough to advise my situation at least so people have the choice up front - most just lie so the other never knows - as happened to the OP that you are calling in another response you made basically calling her a homewrecker.
Seriously there is just no need for nastiness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this morning started well, and for the past hour I've been texting back and forth with a lady whos partner I Whatsapp'd told me he was single and we're now meeting this afternoon for a chat. I've nothing to hide from her so I'm not too worried more about how she'll take my answers. Any advice for a nervy me? Hes deleted his profile and I'm now wishing is saved his emails to show her as they're gone too. Thankfully no pervy pictures were exchanged only face pictures. "
Bunny boiler alert.....
You Saunders like a right mixed up depraved piece of... U know |
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"For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now.
Yea!
Another broken marriage, more kids to growing up in a broken home, a father kept from seeing his kids grow up daily and another woman to grow old and bitter alone with her cats. Well done OP, a result you can be proud of.
Mr.ddc"
I think that's a little unfair |
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"i'd rather be single than with a liar personally.
my kids see their decent dad 50/50 despite him cheating on me, it was awful when were still living together after he did that.
parents deserve to be happy to and to let their kids know that lack of respect from a partner is not ok."
I second that!!! |
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"And if this is a serious post there's only one reason why 'His wife' has been texting u.
If u meet you will see what i mean"
You should have read the whole thread,they have!!! But do pray tell us your version... |
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"I can say that I've been the cheated on woman in a long term relationship and meeting the other woman he was seeing (well, the main one he was in a relationship with, not the odd shags) helped me loads to sort things in my own head.
I can understand the OP doing this - I think it's a caring thing to do.
I don't understand this post when put together with the following sentence on your profile.
"I am also married and he is not involved in this, or aware and I want to keep it that way."
Wouldn't it be 'caring' for someone to tell your husband too?
I am not on here to be judged - although you seem to be doing enough of that for all of us on this post.
I do what I do for my reasons and you do what you do for yours. Simple.
I don't require or request judgement from you or anybody. I am honest enough to advise my situation at least so people have the choice up front - most just lie so the other never knows - as happened to the OP that you are calling in another response you made basically calling her a homewrecker.
Seriously there is just no need for nastiness. "
I'm not judging you, my views on married people meeting singly have been well-aired on here.
I was seeking clarification of something that appeared illogical and contradictory.
Reading between the lines, I think you have given that clarification: that sometimes geese and ganders have differing sauces...
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"For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now.
Yea!
Another broken marriage, more kids to growing up in a broken home, a father kept from seeing his kids grow up daily and another woman to grow old and bitter alone with her cats. Well done OP, a result you can be proud of.
Mr.ddc
I think that's a little unfair"
A little close to the bone perhaps, and possibly slightly passive-aggressive.
My parent's marriage was broken up by such a woman, so I guess I see things through a different filter.
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now.
Yea!
Another broken marriage, more kids to growing up in a broken home, a father kept from seeing his kids grow up daily and another woman to grow old and bitter alone with her cats. Well done OP, a result you can be proud of.
Mr.ddc
I think that's a little unfair
A little close to the bone perhaps, and possibly slightly passive-aggressive.
My parent's marriage was broken up by such a woman, so I guess I see things through a different filter.
"
But as the OP did initially clearly say, she didn't know the man was attached as he claim to be single.
And your parents marriage was broken up by whichever parent had the affair with the woman - not by the third party. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"I can say that I've been the cheated on woman in a long term relationship and meeting the other woman he was seeing (well, the main one he was in a relationship with, not the odd shags) helped me loads to sort things in my own head.
I can understand the OP doing this - I think it's a caring thing to do.
I don't understand this post when put together with the following sentence on your profile.
"I am also married and he is not involved in this, or aware and I want to keep it that way."
Wouldn't it be 'caring' for someone to tell your husband too?
I am not on here to be judged - although you seem to be doing enough of that for all of us on this post.
I do what I do for my reasons and you do what you do for yours. Simple.
I don't require or request judgement from you or anybody. I am honest enough to advise my situation at least so people have the choice up front - most just lie so the other never knows - as happened to the OP that you are calling in another response you made basically calling her a homewrecker.
Seriously there is just no need for nastiness.
I'm not judging you, my views on married people meeting singly have been well-aired on here.
I was seeking clarification of something that appeared illogical and contradictory.
Reading between the lines, I think you have given that clarification: that sometimes geese and ganders have differing sauces...
"
At the end of the day I have my reasons for doing what I do and my private life is none of your beeswax.
I put it out there that I am attached so other people have a choice. I just don't expect to be judged on it.
I understand you have pain in your past, but that at the end of the day does not need to be purveyed onto others. |
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"For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now.
Yea!
Another broken marriage, more kids to growing up in a broken home, a father kept from seeing his kids grow up daily and another woman to grow old and bitter alone with her cats. Well done OP, a result you can be proud of.
Mr.ddc
I think that's a little unfair
A little close to the bone perhaps, and possibly slightly passive-aggressive.
My parent's marriage was broken up by such a woman, so I guess I see things through a different filter.
But as the OP did initially clearly say, she didn't know the man was attached as he claim to be single.
And your parents marriage was broken up by whichever parent had the affair with the woman - not by the third party."
True,but the third party is responsible as well in my opinion. I don't meet single guy's who say they meet married women,that's my personal choice from my own experience of being cheated on it doesn't sit well with me. I suppose our views are tainted by our own experiences aren't they. |
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"And your parents marriage was broken up by whichever parent had the affair with the woman - not by the third party."
Obviously I'm not going to air the gory details on here, (even though technically they are in the public domain, if you know which News of the World to read) but you are wrong: it was definitely the bunny-boiler wot dun it. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"For those who want details - our meeting went well considering the circumstances. I explained my end of things and how we started chatting - it's not the first time he's done it to her so think for the kids sake she's keeping it civil but they're splitting up. I've blocked his number and assuming she doesn't need anymore contact I have deleted hers and that's the end of that as far as I can tell. Glad I did it as I absolutely despise being that woman who could deny everything. My choice in men/women has gotten even stricter(sp?) now.
Yea!
Another broken marriage, more kids to growing up in a broken home, a father kept from seeing his kids grow up daily and another woman to grow old and bitter alone with her cats. Well done OP, a result you can be proud of.
Mr.ddc
I think that's a little unfair
A little close to the bone perhaps, and possibly slightly passive-aggressive.
My parent's marriage was broken up by such a woman, so I guess I see things through a different filter.
But as the OP did initially clearly say, she didn't know the man was attached as he claim to be single.
And your parents marriage was broken up by whichever parent had the affair with the woman - not by the third party.
True,but the third party is responsible as well in my opinion. I don't meet single guy's who say they meet married women,that's my personal choice from my own experience of being cheated on it doesn't sit well with me. I suppose our views are tainted by our own experiences aren't they."
Of course they are - but I try and not purvey that onto others - I have also been hurt, I know it's horrendous - that in mind and I still do it, so like I said before I have my reasons.....
And yes it is the fault of the third party to a degree -although as with OP they don't always know.
The other woman often gets a lot of blame, but the fault always originates with the cheating partner as they have their own mind and decided to do whatever it was they chose to do.
I was once in a situation with a man where he was seeing me longterm and another, was swinging with one offs and was married.
It turned out the other had no clue about me as his long term partner, or about his wife or the others..... It's amazing to me that she didn't know, but it goes to show its easy to trust and not be aware of things.
Hence I give people the option. It doesn't make it 'right' but I'm not hiding it away x |
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"I understand you have pain in your past, but that at the end of the day does not need to be purveyed onto others. "
I wouldn't call it a pain, simply a 'different life experience'.
I agree with your last point 100%, it is simply my opinion that this is exactly what the OP was doing when she chose to get involved. |
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"Hence I give people the option. It doesn't make it 'right' but I'm not hiding it away x"
And, just to clarify, I never said it was 'wrong'. I fully appreciate that everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, and without living their life, in their shoes, I can never judge their decisions.
If you re-read the first time I quoted you, that is not what I was calling you out for. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"Hence I give people the option. It doesn't make it 'right' but I'm not hiding it away x
And, just to clarify, I never said it was 'wrong'. I fully appreciate that everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, and without living their life, in their shoes, I can never judge their decisions.
If you re-read the first time I quoted you, that is not what I was calling you out for."
It actually looked like a veiled threat initially - I was rather shocked  |
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"Hence I give people the option. It doesn't make it 'right' but I'm not hiding it away x
And, just to clarify, I never said it was 'wrong'. I fully appreciate that everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, and without living their life, in their shoes, I can never judge their decisions.
If you re-read the first time I quoted you, that is not what I was calling you out for.
It actually looked like a veiled threat initially - I was rather shocked "
Shocked?! Anyway yeah have a good weekend. |
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"Hence I give people the option. It doesn't make it 'right' but I'm not hiding it away x
And, just to clarify, I never said it was 'wrong'. I fully appreciate that everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, and without living their life, in their shoes, I can never judge their decisions.
If you re-read the first time I quoted you, that is not what I was calling you out for.
It actually looked like a veiled threat initially - I was rather shocked "
Omg, sorry for that, that wasn't the intention at all!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a site for people that want affairs and maybe that's where these people should go and fab can be for single people and couples who are open. I dont like cheats and liars, women or men and the old line "I have my reasons" is B.S. you are horny and too selfish to give up half of what you have. The kids don't benefit from their parents being together when there is no "family". I wouldn't do what the op has done as I don't seek drama but maybe it is for the best. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"There is a site for people that want affairs and maybe that's where these people should go and fab can be for single people and couples who are open. I dont like cheats and liars, women or men and the old line "I have my reasons" is B.S. you are horny and too selfish to give up half of what you have. The kids don't benefit from their parents being together when there is no "family". I wouldn't do what the op has done as I don't seek drama but maybe it is for the best. "
Yet we spoke a while ago at some length.....? I guess you don't read profiles maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the relationship after him was a complete headfuck. surprised i'm not done with men altogether or people come to that.
Our niece used to always choose the most bizarre men to date, I think that was one of the things that finally opened my sister's eyes, that they were so similar. Luckily she too has found someone decent at last. With her it was issues with self-confidence and self-worth, but we had her come live with us for a while, and helped her get her life sorted."
i always try to choose nice guys ever since my first abusive relationship. and i got lucky with my longest relationship tbh that he was nice, just things didn't work out and he wasn't honest or open with me and instead chose to split up with me and go looking for someone else but without telling me.
people can hide so much from me easily and i overlook red flags as well because i was trained not to listen to my needs and feelings but i am aware of this now.
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