FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How can I fix this.
How can I fix this.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
A man messaged not long ago. Said he had permission from his wife. After she saw my pictures and that he was interested I was blocked! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do men do this sort of thing too? Also I have this huge problem of not being a liar. So if a woman is more attractive than my wife in some ways, how do I not lie about when asked? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It looks clear to me. Your pretty wife of yours wants to keep you. Having sex with another woman in her eyes is fine, as long as she is confident your heart belongs to her alone.
I suppose this is how you feel about her when swing with a 3rd person. If she was to become too enamorated with the other man, you will become jealous and feel hurt.
She is very pretty - let me give her a massage. I won't 'steal' her. I'm a professional masseur. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do men do this sort of thing too? Also I have this huge problem of not being a liar. So if a woman is more attractive than my wife in some ways, how do I not lie about when asked?"
Not lying is not the same as always telling you think.
Keep your thoughts and feelings for yourself so you don't hurt your wife.
It's a real life - there is always someone better looking than you or your wife. But talking about it is not the way forward. A little 'diplomacy'...
After all, you are together for more than one reason, not just for looks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your wife is very clever, what she has done there is given you permission to be with other women, but basically come up with a rule that will mean you can never act on it.
You are doomed!!!!!!
Win, win for her and loose, loose for you |
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Ah the mind of a woman. A brilliant and yet confusing and scary thing 
Maybe she means a woman who you find attractive enough to think 'yeah I wouldn't mind giving her one' rather than the woman who makes you stand there with drool on your chin, lacking the ability to form coherent sentences and trying to think of ways to ditch the Mrs just so you can get your hands on this other woman.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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 Huh. Seems an odd one to me. A touch of jealousy springs to mind, which isn't good in swinging. Maybe just talk to her more about what you're both really looking for?
I only want Marc to be with women he is attracted to. I'm also fine with him telling me if a woman looks nice or does something better than me. I'm well aware that most of the women we've played with are more attractive than me in many ways. As long as he isn't insulting me in the way he shows that he is attracted to someone else, then I'm happy.
Talk to your wife more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a couple are going to swing, they have to be comfortable enough in their relationship that attraction to other people is not an issue. If someone is bothered by their partner playing with someone they are attracted to then perhaps they are not in the right space for swinging. People cannot be expected to play with someone they don't find attractive. |
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I think for the moment you're just going to have to accept she's not comfortable with sharing you. The condition there is obviously because she thinks jealousy will be an issue for her.
There cannot be jealousy in a swinging relationship, it will just cause problems. Obviously you have great sex with each other, but it is all the other things that make your relationship special. fucking another hot person shouldn't threaten that as it's will be just sex. If she can come to this realisation, then great, if not don't risk you relationship by swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
It's a trap, don't fall for it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thing is, now we know the details of the terms, the woman you do contact may get offended as she is being perceived as less than attractive...
Stalemate I think...clever wife you have!  |
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" ....I'm well aware that most of the women we've played with are more attractive than me in many ways....."
Having browsed your profile, I can no longer take anything you say seriously or to be the truth.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your good lady needs to be very clear on what she means by being attracted to.
Nobody is going to want to have sex with someone they aren't attracted to on a physical level, may as well just have a wank, but does she mean someone you are attracted to on a personal, want to spend time chatting/flirting with level? I think to a woman this is a more threatening situation as it means you are thinking about the other person when you aren't swinging.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?
It's a trap, don't fall for it!!"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She's brilliant and possessive, but doesn't like to tell you 'no'. She basicly said "sure honey, go gave fun" and then added an impossible perquisite because she doesn't honesty want you to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to convince her of the difference between finding someone attractive and being in love with them.
For example, if she begged, I would let Megan Fox touch my willy...but I wouldn't marry her....well I would actually and have told the wife that...maybe I'm not the right person to be giving advice here    |
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At last someone who also thinks you need to feel attracted to someone to want to have sex! I just would not get "in the mood" if i didnt fancy them.. for me its the "lust" id let my fella go and play with another woman but i dont feel comfortable being there ot watching.. id rather not know the details.. where as my fella wants to know what i did on a meet as it turns him on x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm really not picky. A male slur I suppose. I think every woman has something unique to bring to the table so to speak. Sex is just Sex to me. Once it's done, I rarely reflect on it.
Thanks everyone for the great feedback and advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
Sounds like you have serious trust issues in your relationships AND she's massively insecure. Suggest you think group sex! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I couldn't be a swinger. I'd go mad at a guy for fancying another woman enough to want to have sex with her and I'd go mad if he was able to get a hard on over someone less attractive.  |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Should be an easy meet to set up. Have her sort it out with you being unaware of who it is. When meet day arrives, you are blindfolded. You kill a few birds with one stone. You'll be totally turned on and she'll be totally reassured that you were never attracted to her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?
Sounds like you have serious trust issues in your relationships AND she's massively insecure. Suggest you think group sex!"
What about if the group is made up of attractive women
I would suggest stick with his partner, can't get into trouble that way! |
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
I'd find the threesome first and then worry about the technicalities |
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"Do men do this sort of thing too? Also I have this huge problem of not being a liar. So if a woman is more attractive than my wife in some ways, how do I not lie about when asked?
Not lying is not the same as always telling you think.
Keep your thoughts and feelings for yourself so you don't hurt your wife.
It's a real life - there is always someone better looking than you or your wife. But talking about it is not the way forward. A little 'diplomacy'...
After all, you are together for more than one reason, not just for looks!"
hit the nail on the head there 
miss c x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
Simply solved by asking someone who understands women. She doesn't mind u having sex with someone but being attracted to them in her mind is how u see ur wife. Simply speaking it's a case of if u wanna fuck them go for it but try and be her she's gonna kill them. I'm the same with my man anyone tries to take his place I'll flip and he's the same with me. Keep the emotions and thoughtful gestures for ur woman and ur dick can go where the hell it likes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
Just tell her you find the munters attractive and the fit ones unattractive .
Problem solved .
Jobs a good un |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't understand this, I give mr free reign with another woman either swapping or threesome situation because I trust he wouldn't leave me for the other lady he's playing with. At the end of the night he's coming home with me and I get to enjoy him pleasing a woman he's attracted to. |
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?
Sounds like you have serious trust issues in your relationships AND she's massively insecure. Suggest you think group sex!"
|
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"Should be an easy meet to set up. Have her sort it out with you being unaware of who it is. When meet day arrives, you are blindfolded. You kill a few birds with one stone. You'll be totally turned on and she'll be totally reassured that you were never attracted to her. "
Clever |
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
Oh dear!! She's clearly not happy about you having sex with another woman or shed not put such strings attached to it . Drop the idea as I get feeling no matter the woman shed not be happy . Never worth upsetting the other half or risk your relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yossarian. It's Catch 22. On the whole it would be easier to go shopping for frocks every week-end with your lovely wife and spend eternity sat outside the ladies changing rooms thinking of different ways to say 'they all look marvellous on you darling'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well the way me and my other half do it, is he can be attracted to her, as do I, but it's purely physical. Like we had a regular, and his approach was "yeah I'd fuck her, but I wouldn't take her out to dinner" which suited me, there was no threat of him leaving me for her! That could be what your wife is worried about, I can understand that. But as it turns out, the regular started getting feelings for my man and he dropped the whole arrangement, which reassured me that feelings had no place in these sort of arrangements, and my feelings came above what was going on in my boyfriends pants haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Get her to pick them women for u"
If she's happy with you playing alone let her find the lady ?
But think that a chat together might be best to clear her fear of losing you first ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
Dont worry it will never happen. There are very few unicorns.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your wife is very clever, what she has done there is given you permission to be with other women, but basically come up with a rule that will mean you can never act on it.
You are doomed!!!!!!
Win, win for her and loose, loose for you"
Reminds me of Gordon Brown and the Euro. "Yes we want to join, when these impossible conditions are met". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wife says I can have sex with another woman and it won't bother her, as long as I'm not attracted to the other woman. How does that work?
Not on my own mind you, threesomes situation. Anyone ever run across this?"
Just checked out your profile, looks like you are on the cusp of moving from soft swap to full swap. It's quite a big step before you take it, quite small when you look back at it.
Having had the discussion and opened the possibility, now just carry on as you are until the occasion occurs.
There is a world of difference between someone being phisically attractive, and being partner level attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I give my permission for my hubby and do this too. Obviously there had to be a physical attraction. I care not whether she is younger,older or better looking than me...... |
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