FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Disturbing Facebook messenger message

Disturbing Facebook messenger message

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Foolishly I accepted someone as a friend on Facebook and had an unpleasant message. I assume from someone I chatted to once in here or chatted on phone to. It left a very nasty taste in my mouth and I have beefed up my Facebook security settings. Just wondered if fellow swingers have had similar problems on social media from so called contacts made on fab. For me this lifestyle is centred on discretion and respect

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By *ilmiss75Woman over a year ago

Thornton

Never.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is another post running about this .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And yes

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I never cross fab and social media we even have a separate phone for this part of our life so it hasn't happened. I'm sorry it happened to you though.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Also discretion and respect are paramount to some but not all and a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And yes "

Shocking isn't it. Whoever the arsehole was certainly caused me a lot of distress and anxiety

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Also discretion and respect are paramount to some but not all and a chain is only as strong as its weakest link."

A seperate phone sounds like the best policy. Basically I was told by this person you know who I am and I will report you for wanting a Bj or something like that. Fortunately I had the wit to not reply and immediately block

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By *rewelad88Man over a year ago

crewe

No but it is surprising how much info Facebook is allowed. I started chatting to someone, swapped numbers etc and they appeared on 'people you may know' even with no friends in common, miles away and not knowing eachothers full names.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Also discretion and respect are paramount to some but not all and a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

Report to who?

You did the right thing, people get their kicks in some strange ways.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No but it is surprising how much info Facebook is allowed. I started chatting to someone, swapped numbers etc and they appeared on 'people you may know' even with no friends in common, miles away and not knowing eachothers full names. "

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Also discretion and respect are paramount to some but not all and a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

Report to who?

You did the right thing, people get their kicks in some strange ways."

Well indeed It is amazing how Facebook can link phone numbers. I was not unduly worried last night but as I work on a sensitive job this is the last think I need and I could do without the anxiety

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts."

Yes I did that today. I hadn't realised this setting was active. Lesson learnt

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Also discretion and respect are paramount to some but not all and a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

Report to who?

You did the right thing, people get their kicks in some strange ways.

Well indeed It is amazing how Facebook can link phone numbers. I was not unduly worried last night but as I work on a sensitive job this is the last think I need and I could do without the anxiety"

Step one...remove your face picture.

Step two...change your post code.

Step three...deny, deny, deny.

don't be anxious it's your word against theirs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Choose your Fab friends more carefully.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shared numbers does that

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts.

Yes I did that today. I hadn't realised this setting was active. Lesson learnt"

Same goes for whatsapp which is owned by facebook.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Even if you are careful, it's a small world. 1 half of a couple I once played with is close friends with 1 of my old cycling friends. We discovered this when we were both commenting on the same status

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had a few people pop up on Facebook from my phone contacts in the past so I've un-synced it all now.

I keep social media & Fabs seperate. If I want to chat to people off site I'll use kik.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you give your phone number to someone on here and you go on WhatsApp with them then them people usually come up on Facebook in "people you may know' because Facebook seems to be linked to the same search engine as WhatsApp.

That's why I don't really like giving my number out and usually just use kik for this site as I have family on Facebook and like to keep this site private to myself.

Unless of course you speak to someone on here that ain't on Facebook then it wouldn't matter

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well thankfully whoever it was I never met or had arranged to meet. Was with my old fab profile also. I guess some people get kicks from winding people up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Facebook is insidious and totally intrusive.....very sinister!! I tend to avoid.....

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Can someone tell me how to do this unsyncy thing. I've had a look and can't work it out

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By *rewelad88Man over a year ago

crewe

My number wasnt linked with Facebook. Ive come off Facebook since, not just because of that but was a factor

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By *he Ring WraithMan over a year ago

Bradford

Never, but then I do not have Facebook, kik, whatsap or any other social media ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK. "

That's illegal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK.

That's illegal "

Yes, Im aware of this and when I reminded him of the consequences of revenge porn he went quiet, I should add he found my FB account through my mobile number.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK.

That's illegal

Yes, Im aware of this and when I reminded him of the consequences of revenge porn he went quiet, I should add he found my FB account through my mobile number. "

Loser . I was seeing old contacts and people from here on my fb I deleted every thing I could off there , even contacted what'sap and face book directly and they give me some more hidden security things so fingers crossed will stop now

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By *xxxMan over a year ago

Bedford & Chester

Really dodgy stuff and i echo previous comments about bad taste, intrusiveness and even questionable legally bit you really can't be too careful on here kik is good but just don't give personal details if not certain. I suppose the other point of view is that the other person is also on this site so how would they be able to judge or pass comment. I realise it doesn't make it easier to explain to your family, friends or colleagues though!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It must have been a one off chat when I had a bi moment many months ago on my original profile that somehow I had forgotten to delete from either my contacts list or whatsapp list. The arsehole had the cheek to basically say I was a preditor. Thankfully I fully blocked and went through my phone and whatsapp contact list and deleted any old numbers of people I do not currently chat with

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Foolishly I accepted someone as a friend on Facebook and had an unpleasant message. I assume from someone I chatted to once in here or chatted on phone to. It left a very nasty taste in my mouth and I have beefed up my Facebook security settings. Just wondered if fellow swingers have had similar problems on social media from so called contacts made on fab. For me this lifestyle is centred on discretion and respect"
.Yup I.posted on here couple of weeks ago ...some guy messaged me .I went nuts said it was two diff websites how dare he.

Facebook's family's and freinds .totaly separate from this .change one of it settings on this the don't share in search engine one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK.

That's illegal

Yes, Im aware of this and when I reminded him of the consequences of revenge porn he went quiet, I should add he found my FB account through my mobile number.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This has happened quite a few times to me. Definitely something, maybe cookies etc which are shared between the Facebook app and this site despite being in private mode. Worrying ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I had a single profile on here I would have guys message me on facebook. When I asked how they knew me they said from fab. When asked why didn't you message me there I was told it was.easier on facebook because of not so many messages which I replied to maybe so until your blocked this is my personal life not fab. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Indeed. And this sort of behaviour causes a lot of stress and a potential for ruining someone's career. I am certainly considering the merits of Facebook Thank fuck I was able to block this guy very quickly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Foolishly I accepted someone as a friend on Facebook and had an unpleasant message. I assume from someone I chatted to once in here or chatted on phone to. It left a very nasty taste in my mouth and I have beefed up my Facebook security settings. Just wondered if fellow swingers have had similar problems on social media from so called contacts made on fab. For me this lifestyle is centred on discretion and respect"
if youve ever given them your phone number and you ahve used the FB messenger app youll show up on thier "people you may know".

Any common pics between the two sites can be found too.

Our of curiosity what did they day given you dont seem to remember them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts.

Yes I did that today. I hadn't realised this setting was active. Lesson learnt

Same goes for whatsapp which is owned by facebook."

Facebook does not sync with whatsapp dispite ownership they have both been very clear on this they are independent

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If your Phonenumber is connected to your Facebook then yes they will come up on people you may know. Just delete your number from your Facebook account

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This has happened quite a few times to me. Definitely something, maybe cookies etc which are shared between the Facebook app and this site despite being in private mode. Worrying .. "

Disable your phone number from your Facebook account

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My Facebook is strictly for friend and family only. I never give out any social media accounts out to fab people. I don't ever mix the two together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd never give my personal FB to anyone on this site as I'd never take the chance of them posting anything about my private life on here. Some twisted nasty ppl out there with no respect

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Facebook doesn't have any merits!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has recently closed the fb account due to similar issue. Family know of my lifestyle and I do drop fb occasionally. This time never to return.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts.

Yes I did that today. I hadn't realised this setting was active. Lesson learnt

Same goes for whatsapp which is owned by facebook.

Facebook does not sync with whatsapp dispite ownership they have both been very clear on this they are independent "

I had never even spoken to the people who had contacted me. I will never give my mobile number out because of the hassle I have had in the past. Only wat I can think is by searching my name they found me x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a Friend on Fab suddenly appear on my Facebook 'People you may know' list. I can only assume it's because my email address is the same for both, although it's private on both accounts and my privacy settings are high. Time to set up a new email account

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not on Facebook .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its never happened to me. I dont have my phone number on facebook though and i dont give out my real name either.

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By *atureandhornyCouple over a year ago

Liverpool

Simple: never give your phone number out to anyone or add anyone you don't know.

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By *lik and PaulCouple over a year ago

Flagrante

Nothing linked to Fab but in my experience there are far more nutjobs on Facebook than Fab...people here are much saner

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Foolishly I accepted someone as a friend on Facebook and had an unpleasant message. I assume from someone I chatted to once in here or chatted on phone to. It left a very nasty taste in my mouth and I have beefed up my Facebook security settings. Just wondered if fellow swingers have had similar problems on social media from so called contacts made on fab. For me this lifestyle is centred on discretion and respect"
I would never ever let anyone apart from close friends on my Facebook that's just asking for trouble

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK.

That's illegal

Yes, Im aware of this and when I reminded him of the consequences of revenge porn he went quiet, I should add he found my FB account through my mobile number.

I like most of us have had this happen and I would love to know the secret security codes. Is it best to message Facebook what's up and ask them directly for them?

I also had a situation the moment I joined Instagram, I had asked it not to sync anything, I got some message from someone I haven't seen in years saying that they had been looking for me, and received an email to say I enjoyed it.

I immediately deleted the account but that is a shame as I really would like an Instagram account but I would like to keep that completely private too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We both have people we have swung with on our facebook accounts. But people we became friends with. But saying that we did work in a club. So slightly different for us. I suppose.

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By *orgeouslyyoursWoman over a year ago

essex just looking around

"It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK.

That's illegal "

They can't do that anyway if you have the correct settings in on place

I rarley use Facebook. And any postings have to be viewed by me and I decide if they are shown

Remove your phone number and don't use a pda style phone if that worried.

And if you are type of person that accepts everyone as a friend on FB as you do on here you are definatley asking for trouble.

Friends are exactly that

ON my personal account only peopke I've Met and chatted to are added. I rarely give out my phone number unless a meet and that's hardly ever . Should anyone then go weird rude etc instant removal.

You just have to box clever and put safety before Horn n ego x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It has happened to me before, a lesson learned, he threatened to post saucy images of me on facebook sharing with my FB friends.

I now only use KIK.

That's illegal

Yes, Im aware of this and when I reminded him of the consequences of revenge porn he went quiet, I should add he found my FB account through my mobile number.

I like most of us have had this happen and I would love to know the secret security codes. Is it best to message Facebook what's up and ask them directly for them?

I immediately deleted the account but that is a shame as I really would like an Instagram account but I would like to keep that completely private too."

Yes , they have other ways to remove more personal information that they hold even if you remove your phone number it's actually still stored

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By *imon and saffyCouple over a year ago

southampton

There's no limit to the number of email addresses you can have, hotmail, Google, you can create several and not link them.

Then you can set up Instagram, etc with a different email address.

It's not foolproof but does help.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts.

Yes I did that today. I hadn't realised this setting was active. Lesson learnt

Same goes for whatsapp which is owned by facebook.

Facebook does not sync with whatsapp dispite ownership they have both been very clear on this they are independent "

I never said whatsapp syncs with facebook.

But you can make a mini whatsapp profile, full name, pic, and a status of sorts. So I give out a fake fab name but if he syncs whatsapp with phone contacts my correct name will show. Someone did this with me a year back, when I synced his number it gave me his name and a nice pic of him and the mrs

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By *ediraMan over a year ago

Reigate

Whatsapp is owned by Facebook, thats why.

"If you give your phone number to someone on here and you go on WhatsApp with them then them people usually come up on Facebook in "people you may know' because Facebook seems to be linked to the same search engine as WhatsApp.

That's why I don't really like giving my number out and usually just use kik for this site as I have family on Facebook and like to keep this site private to myself.

Unless of course you speak to someone on here that ain't on Facebook then it wouldn't matter

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"There's no limit to the number of email addresses you can have, hotmail, Google, you can create several and not link them.

Then you can set up Instagram, etc with a different email address.

It's not foolproof but does help."

Thank you so much. I may set an instergram only email then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had this as well just because of a phone number on my phone I changed my Facebook settings on my phone so that it does not sync without me knowing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't have Facebook from what I have seen its just for people to be nosey

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have just deleted my number on Facebook following this thread, thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts.

Yes I did that today. I hadn't realised this setting was active. Lesson learnt

Same goes for whatsapp which is owned by facebook.

Facebook does not sync with whatsapp dispite ownership they have both been very clear on this they are independent

Well yeah by default the easiest way to find somone is simply typing in thier name into face book.

Unless you change it so people cant use your name by default its open.

My "people you may know" list used to be full of people from here because thier never unlinked thier accounts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you used the same number on Facebook as you gave to them and have synched contacts on Facebook it will link you. You need to stop Facebook synching contacts.

Yes I did that today. I hadn't realised this setting was active. Lesson learnt

Same goes for whatsapp which is owned by facebook.

Facebook does not sync with whatsapp dispite ownership they have both been very clear on this they are independent

I never said whatsapp syncs with facebook.

True, weird that you give out a fake name though.

I just go by my first name.

Although my whatsap only ever shows what ive saved them as as thier name not thier whatsap name of choice.

For example i save people as "name-location" so thats what theg show yp as in whatsapp not thier name of choice on there

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By *adyGardenWoman over a year ago

LONDON (se)

No not ever, my fab life never crosses over to my real life. Only people on my Facebook are people I actually know and mostly old school friends and family

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By *ost SockMan over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I would like to delete my number from Facebook, but I can't see how you can have two-step verification if you do that.

I'd rather keep that than delete my number.

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By *oshbird69Woman over a year ago

Ipswich

If you give out your mobile number & use whatsapp, it links them to Facebook

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By *ottscpl2014Couple over a year ago

nottingham/derby

We only have a few select regular friends on Facebook, any others we never give them our full names. I must admit I do sometimes use Facebook to look people up prior to a meet, mainly to check they are who they say they are etc.

We have had a couple of people come up on people you may know even without having any mutual friends or anything only swapping numbers so god knows how Facebook make the link?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Neither of us has faceache or twatter so I think we're safe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is why we only use kik.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Had this a few times - whatsapp is owned by FB so there is a potential weakpoint

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Had this a few times - whatsapp is owned by FB so there is a potential weakpoint"

Nope

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well my settings are very conservative so when i get 3 people you may know links that i've chatted to off fabs i get suspicious but yes whatsapp and FB say they don't share but- i don't believe them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Willing to be corrected but that is the only link I can see-

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well my settings are very conservative so when i get 3 people you may know links that i've chatted to off fabs i get suspicious but yes whatsapp and FB say they don't share but- i don't believe them"

Ever used face book messenger?

Also your phone number is on face boo go tk privacy settings to check

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Be careful also with your mobiles and facebook !!! If you google a mobile number it sometimes brings your facebook page and name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Be careful also with your mobiles and facebook !!! If you google a mobile number it sometimes brings your facebook page and name "

Unless you cha ge the "who can find me via -mobile-name-damil' option"

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By *imon and saffyCouple over a year ago

southampton

Another hint, don't use the Facebook app, just log in to the mobile website. Exactly the same as the app without the annoying syncing

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By *abes in the woodWoman over a year ago

wales

i never got my number on facebook .but had few message say know me of fab so i then got messages so i turn watapp of then change number getting rude message of people i knew of here.i block after reconize them fab facebook both different shouldnt be use for fab.

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By *exybecs777TV/TS over a year ago

Weymouth

I have a TS friend that helped me when I was first getting started as Becky. She knows me as Becky and in my male form. We have always kept the two separate. She now has a new job and we have about 5 mutual friends now. I have deleted my Becky Facebook profile as I don't want people I used to work with noticing Becky.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally came off facebook when it went public and also got sick of peoples general talk about shit. I dont want to see a picture of what your having for dinner. If the people who your so called friends then they'd already have your phone no. Or contact details

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I never cross fab and social media we even have a separate phone for this part of our life so it hasn't happened. I'm sorry it happened to you though."

Separate phone for this as fb and other social media apps take ur contacts and constantly trying get you to merge them. Also if you're not aware yet that the new upgrade means fb has access to all your photos and wants you upload automatically! !!!! That would be very embarrassing for many.

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