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problems through swinging
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No not for us either. If anything we are closer because of it. It's lovely having our own naughty little secret and we enjoy planning our nights out and outfits, which club etc. We have more couple time together as our child free nights aren't "wasted" sat on the sofa not talking to one another.
We are making sure to take things slowly so that we are sure before we take a next step but also because taking it slowly is fun for us. Think if we rushed we could maybe feel like we've done all that, what next? I don't think that is the same for everyone though, some relish throwing themselves in. |
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
"
This does not surprise me...when I was on here as a couple before and the ex cammed on her own the behaviour and general approach from males of verified couples was sly and rather blatant to say the least  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
"
I've had this too
I've also had guys from couples I know personally ask me to meet them alone |
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Thats what makes it fun and exciting for us taking it slow and both gettingexcitment and fun from it thats what excites us both the most seeing each other getting excited about trying things together rushing in has more chance of making mistakes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As any couples found that trying this as caused problems for them and if so what"
I doubt every couple on here would be prepared to tell you if it had or does cause problems for them swinging OP. |
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
This and it pisses us well off for sure."
We each have a single profile if we want single meets, although we always know what the other is doing ... and why |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God if M contacted anyone behind my back I would literally kill him.
Surely swinging as a couple needs absolute trust, it's insane that anyone would want to betray that and potentially ruin a relationship over a quick fuck.
G x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
"
Feckin stupid.....if a couples profile then presumably both have access to the account....so should only EVER address as a couple.....but some guys on here are total dickwads to be fair! |
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"I have twice encountered couples where the female was participating , quite clearly, under duress.
In both cases I beat a hasty retreat "
We've encountered two couples where the woman obviously didn't want any part of it and two where the man didn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've known of both male and female swinging partners getting jealous at how the other is responding when fucking someone else on an arranged meet.
IE Usually because they appear to be more into that person when kissing and fucking than they do with their current partner.
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"I have twice encountered couples where the female was participating , quite clearly, under duress.
In both cases I beat a hasty retreat
So common "
If the number of "my wife has told me categorically that she doesn't want to swing but I think she really does, how can I persuade her?" threads are anything to go by its not surprising. |
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By *albec26Man
over a year ago
Great Yarmouth |
"No not for us either. If anything we are closer because of it. It's lovely having our own naughty little secret and we enjoy planning our nights out and outfits, which club etc. We have more couple time together as our child free nights aren't "wasted" sat on the sofa not talking to one another.
We are making sure to take things slowly so that we are sure before we take a next step but also because taking it slowly is fun for us. Think if we rushed we could maybe feel like we've done all that, what next? I don't think that is the same for everyone though, some relish throwing themselves in. "
That's exactly how we feel not only has this enhanced our sex life and given us a social life. We met fantastic people but also cemented the bond and love we have for each other x |
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By *woOfaKindCouple
over a year ago
Lancaster area |
Interesting topic!
I could give several examples. The first is this....my wife and I met a couple and seemed to hit it off with them rather well. We played a few times, but then after a while, things sort of cooled off. The next thing you know, the two of them were separated! The wife had a vanilla boyfriend and the husband had a girlfriend. They had been married over 20 years, and had only been into swinging a few months before everything went Kah-Blooey!!
The second example: Back when I was trying to do solo meets, I came in contact with the female of a couple, and things seemed to go OK. But after chatting a bit, I quickly found out that they were Swingers mainly because the husband wanted it. She was very reluctant, but was more comfortable with me than any other guy she had met, so she was a little more willing. It wound up not working out for other reasons, but again, it was interesting to find out that her husband wanted to run trains on her while he watched, but she had NO interest in that at all!
-JD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is the wrong website OP to ask that question since those couples who have had problems are most likely now ex members of this site. Any couples on here who have swapped will be without problems. |
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"Interesting topic!
I could give several examples. The first is this....my wife and I met a couple and seemed to hit it off with them rather well. We played a few times, but then after a while, things sort of cooled off. The next thing you know, the two of them were separated! The wife had a vanilla boyfriend and the husband had a girlfriend. They had been married over 20 years, and had only been into swinging a few months before everything went Kah-Blooey!!
The second example: Back when I was trying to do solo meets, I came in contact with the female of a couple, and things seemed to go OK. But after chatting a bit, I quickly found out that they were Swingers mainly because the husband wanted it. She was very reluctant, but was more comfortable with me than any other guy she had met, so she was a little more willing. It wound up not working out for other reasons, but again, it was interesting to find out that her husband wanted to run trains on her while he watched, but she had NO interest in that at all!
-JD"
You'll have to tell us what "run trains" means it's not an expression we use  |
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"Interesting topic!
I could give several examples. The first is this....my wife and I met a couple and seemed to hit it off with them rather well. We played a few times, but then after a while, things sort of cooled off. The next thing you know, the two of them were separated! The wife had a vanilla boyfriend and the husband had a girlfriend. They had been married over 20 years, and had only been into swinging a few months before everything went Kah-Blooey!!
The second example: Back when I was trying to do solo meets, I came in contact with the female of a couple, and things seemed to go OK. But after chatting a bit, I quickly found out that they were Swingers mainly because the husband wanted it. She was very reluctant, but was more comfortable with me than any other guy she had met, so she was a little more willing. It wound up not working out for other reasons, but again, it was interesting to find out that her husband wanted to run trains on her while he watched, but she had NO interest in that at all!
-JD
You'll have to tell us what "run trains" means it's not an expression we use "
Well there's an expression " pulling the train"....... |
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"As any couples found that trying this as caused problems for them and if so what
I doubt every couple on here would be prepared to tell you if it had or does cause problems for them swinging OP. "
I'd like to think that's because those couples who did have problems are either no longer swinging, or no longer couples. Couples who have been doing it for any length of time are more likely to communicate better, thus nip any potential problems in the bud.
Mr ddc |
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"I used to meet couples and always seemed to make them fall out .
No more couples for me !!!! "
If this happened 'loads', did you ever consider that the common denominator was you?
Single men are regularly called out for not treating couples as couples, but just seeing a woman to fuck. I wonder how often single women make the same mistake.
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A wiser man than I once compared swinging as a couple to a magnifying glass...it has the effect of magnifying parts of the relationship...if there are strengths, they will be magnified and enhanced. If there are fractures and issues, they too will be magnified and perhaps if they outweigh the strengths...then the fractures become wider and cracks will really appear... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A wiser man than I once compared swinging as a couple to a magnifying glass...it has the effect of magnifying parts of the relationship...if there are strengths, they will be magnified and enhanced. If there are fractures and issues, they too will be magnified and perhaps if they outweigh the strengths...then the fractures become wider and cracks will really appear..."
Very wise words  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to meet couples and always seemed to make them fall out .
No more couples for me !!!!
If this happened 'loads', did you ever consider that the common denominator was you?
Single men are regularly called out for not treating couples as couples, but just seeing a woman to fuck. I wonder how often single women make the same mistake.
Mr ddc"
Lol wasn't me , the men always attempted to contact me seperatly behind their Mrs back |
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"I used to meet couples and always seemed to make them fall out .
No more couples for me !!!!
If this happened 'loads', did you ever consider that the common denominator was you?
Single men are regularly called out for not treating couples as couples, but just seeing a woman to fuck. I wonder how often single women make the same mistake.
Mr ddc
Lol wasn't me , the men always attempted to contact me seperatly behind their Mrs back "
Ahh, I see, I assumed it was during a meet. Although, in your scenario, how come in every case the couples fell out? Who told the wives that the husband was trying to be unfaithful?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
Yes that's happened to me lots of times too "
I had the lady of a couple I met secretly get my mobile number off her husbands phone and start messaging me for a 1 on 1 meet. I declined |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not for us either. If anything we are closer because of it. It's lovely having our own naughty little secret and we enjoy planning our nights out and outfits, which club etc. We have more couple time together as our child free nights aren't "wasted" sat on the sofa not talking to one another.
We are making sure to take things slowly so that we are sure before we take a next step but also because taking it slowly is fun for us. Think if we rushed we could maybe feel like we've done all that, what next? I don't think that is the same for everyone though, some relish throwing themselves in. "
This is exactly the same for us, made us stronger than ever before, 17 years together and still very much in love.
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
This and it pisses us well off for sure."
It does happen. Even with couples that you think are the most trusting and loving couples.
Then they assume you are like them and that you won't tell each other!!!
Even more amusing when they both do it independently of each other which we have had too.
However 'if' you can be open and honest with full communication between you then no it shouldn't cause problems because you will be talking about it and discussing it openly and of course one will choose not to do anything that will upset the other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
"
Yep I get those too.
I sometimes wonder if the woman exists at all. |
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It just does not compute for me.
On a moral and ethical level then the whole cheating thing and going behind your partners back is wrong.
But if you put that to onside.
On a self interest and logical level it makes no sense to cheat when you are in a swinging relationship. You already have permission to play with others. So doing it behind their back only jeopardises this and then what are the odds that your next long term partner will be into swinging and be as sexually compatible.
I can't wrap my head around it.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
"
I'm sure it's mostly the male halfs of couples that do this but some females do it as well.
A few years ago when I joined for the first time my first meet was with a couple and shortly after that she messaged me asking to meet me on her own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The amount of men from couples who message me behind their partners back for meets is incredible.
I'm sure it's mostly the male halfs of couples that do this but some females do it as well.
A few years ago when I joined for the first time my first meet was with a couple and shortly after that she messaged me asking to meet me on her own."
I've had a few female halves of couples message to meet behind their fellas back too. Only a few compared to loads and loads of male halves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never had a problem but you need a strong trusting relationship . We went into it saying if we did not like it we won't continue
The fact that we are still here says it all lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"God if M contacted anyone behind my back I would literally kill him.
Surely swinging as a couple needs absolute trust, it's insane that anyone would want to betray that and potentially ruin a relationship over a quick fuck.
G x"
I can honestly say it happens dozens of times a day. And if I have met and played with the couple it always happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Made us stronger and more honest with each other as a couple. Allowed us to be honest with ourselves too which is an eye opener as it's exhilarating being able to open up about your deepest darkest desires. |
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