FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > WHY do people feel the need
WHY do people feel the need
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...to send messages telling me that they don't like my profile?
OK, so I don't advertize that I am looking for a quick fuck tonight. It's a sex site. I do realize that. But we all are here for our own reasons, and I, for one, dont' feel the need to explain it all in detail on my profile.
We all happen to be here because we want to be, and each reason is as valid as any other. You want to meet as many people for sex as possbile? Great....go for it.
I happen to have my own agenda, and go about it differently.
The most hilarious part--they block me as soon as sending said message so I can't respond (even if I wanted to).
Comment on my profile if you like...though that's not what I'm looking for in writing this. Mine works for me as I want it to.
I'm just wondering why some get off on criticizing me for doing what I want. Could it possibly be insecurity? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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because they can?
its actually a swingers site but you would be forgiven for thinking it was all about sex..
tbh if someone told me they didn't like my profile 'Id be surprised as it proves they can at least read 
my advice would be to just block and forget about it
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...to send messages telling me that they don't like my profile?
OK, so I don't advertize that I am looking for a quick fuck tonight. It's a sex site. I do realize that. But we all are here for our own reasons, and I, for one, dont' feel the need to explain it all in detail on my profile.
We all happen to be here because we want to be, and each reason is as valid as any other. You want to meet as many people for sex as possbile? Great....go for it.
I happen to have my own agenda, and go about it differently.
The most hilarious part--they block me as soon as sending said message so I can't respond (even if I wanted to).
Comment on my profile if you like...though that's not what I'm looking for in writing this. Mine works for me as I want it to.
I'm just wondering why some get off on criticizing me for doing what I want. Could it possibly be insecurity?"
I don't believe it is necessarily "insecurity" (which makes it THEIR problem).
The general attitude on Fab I find is people like to at least start on an level playing field. It leads to each being relaxed and able to check chemistry without embarrassment or discomfort.
I have to say your list of donts and dos (which are also in truth also donts) look like a purchase specification. It definately slopes your way so anyone attempting to try and meet you could well feel uncomfortable and at a disadvantage, potentially expecting criticism or rejection based on the tone of your profile.
Having said that, perhaps that is why they criticise and run? They know they will not get anywhere.
However, if that is the real you then stick with it. If some knight on a white horse gets past the "barricades and armour" they may suit you perfectly and all your efforts will be justified. Enjoy Fab! Be yourself.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They want you to change yourself (and your needs) to fit their own so they can be selfish.
a lot of men don't get that we're here for what we want and not here to service them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only had positive feed back on my profile. Possibly because it's mostly positive with not much negativity,but who knows. It's your profile write,ask,reject,attract who you want to. You're the one getting naked with people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are ways of saying things that don't antagonise or make you come across in a bad light. Negativity breeds negativity."
Exactly this Far too many negative profiles on here focusing on what they don't want rather than what they do. I guarantee if you put a moany status up saying something along the lines of this site is shit, I'm leaving, you'll get messages from people saying well f*ck off then!! Don't feed the trolls! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are ways of saying things that don't antagonise or make you come across in a bad light. Negativity breeds negativity.
Exactly this Far too many negative profiles on here focusing on what they don't want rather than what they do. I guarantee if you put a moany status up saying something along the lines of this site is shit, I'm leaving, you'll get messages from people saying well f*ck off then!! Don't feed the trolls!"
I can see why people have their lists of don't wants,but it's futile as the people who it's aimed at won't read it and it makes you seem miserable or demanding. It is childish to mail someone to tell them their profile is shit though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have thoroughly read and really enjoyed your straight up and honest WYSIWYG profile. I too am quite happy to chat and just meet socially it's not all about a quick fuck or what ever to just satisfy my own desires. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They want you to change yourself (and your needs) to fit their own so they can be selfish.
a lot of men don't get that we're here for what we want and not here to service them."
I find the vast majority of men primarily want to pleasure the ladies. I don't think they are only out for what they can get for themselves. But each to their own perception.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are ways of saying things that don't antagonise or make you come across in a bad light. Negativity breeds negativity.
Exactly this Far too many negative profiles on here focusing on what they don't want rather than what they do. I guarantee if you put a moany status up saying something along the lines of this site is shit, I'm leaving, you'll get messages from people saying well f*ck off then!! Don't feed the trolls!
I can see why people have their lists of don't wants,but it's futile as the people who it's aimed at won't read it and it makes you seem miserable or demanding. It is childish to mail someone to tell them their profile is shit though. "
I totally agree, if you don't like something its pretty easy to move on and find something you like. I can understand why women in particular can get frustrated and put these things on their profile but its rare people read them anyway! I block everyone and look for people myself, so much easier. |
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Thanks all, for the comments!
I'll add here---I'm happy with my profile as is, at this point it says what I want it to say. Most see the humor in it, and I DO get mostly very positive feedback (from those with a sense of humor, as intended). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"because they can?
its actually a swingers site but you would be forgiven for thinking it was all about sex..
tbh if someone told me they didn't like my profile 'Id be surprised as it proves they can at least read
my advice would be to just block and forget about it
"
Most men never profiles and if they do ignore it anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The reality is that Fab has it's fair share of the good the bad and the ugly, just like the real world. You should put up exactly the profile you want and are comfortable with, then ignore or block any messages that irritate you. Life's too short and we are here to have fun, aren't we?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a bi guy I too get fed up of aggressive males with no profile pics or content who assume I'm desperate for a fuck. Frankly I would rather go without than meet someone for purely physical sex. There are issues with the way profiles appear on mobiles but that no excuse for total ignorance and cutting and pasting. I have feelings top you know. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your profile blurb is great.
It's honest, direct & to the point. You know what you need/want & aren't afraid to go after it.
Kudos to you & to hell with the fuckwits who are abusive about it. Strong women can be intimidating, take it as a compliment x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are some people who just get off on being negative and nasty. I am a believer in Karma and hope it bites these small minded people on the back sides. |
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"Perhaps instead of focusing on why they do this,you could explore why it annoys /bothers you..
Does rejection come into play? "
I wouldn't have thought that - It just is a curiosity as to why people feel the need to comment at all and then pathetically block |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot has to do with the region you're in. My profile has moved around a lot....i have only ever received messages from people in the London region asking why I'm on the site and questioning my very existence. I just find it highly amusing when i get those messages. I have never received similar messages from other regions I've visited....maybe there are more frustrated guys in London?
*shrugs
I dunno. Just my observation. |
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Maybe its because females have always had the upper hand when meeting men. How often do you get men turning down female advances. Perhaps they are getting their own back and can express themselves behind a forum. Not saying its right though but that's human nature these days.
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"Thanks all, for the comments!
I'll add here---I'm happy with my profile as is, at this point it says what I want it to say. Most see the humor in it, and I DO get mostly very positive feedback (from those with a sense of humor, as intended). "
Absolutely nothing wrong with your profile and at least it means some people do actually read them. |
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"Thanks all, for the comments!
I'll add here---I'm happy with my profile as is, at this point it says what I want it to say. Most see the humor in it, and I DO get mostly very positive feedback (from those with a sense of humor, as intended). "
I have a weird sense of humour and put in mine that I don't do drama that's what Hollyoaks is for.... a couple messaged me and said it put them off me? I don't even watch Hollyoaks!!
Your prof is great hun. Ignore the haters x |
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