I have been on this site for a year or so now and have seen some sexy people and had my eyes opened to a world of pure sexual goodness but I have a dilemma!!! Me and my wife have a non existent sex life and she has no idea I am on this site let alone some of the things I think and fantasize about. I'm pretty sure she would leave me if she found out but it doesn't stop me from thinking that maybe getting her involved in this world would be good not just for us a couple but her also, I frequently think about sharing her with another fit man and would love to see her with another woman but how do approach that??? Anyone else had this issue??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why is your sex life non existent?
Been on a year without her knowing how would she feel when she finds out?
Is this your fantasy and not hers?
She'd leave you if she found out?is this site worth losing your wife for?
No offence op but you should be talking to your wife not asking on a forum, no expert but most people we have spoken to have entered into this lifestyle together after months if not years of discussing it first it took us 12 months to be certain we wanted to |
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"Why is your sex life non existent?
Been on a year without her knowing how would she feel when she finds out?
Is this your fantasy and not hers?
She'd leave you if she found out?is this site worth losing your wife for?
No offence op but you should be talking to your wife not asking on a forum, no expert but most people we have spoken to have entered into this lifestyle together after months if not years of discussing it first it took us 12 months to be certain we wanted to"
DITTO..... Takes along time and certainly trust of each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, you have had meetings. Were those before or after your marriage?
If after, then the issue may be with your inability to communicate with your wife.
In either case, you are obviously not happy. That may be to do with your inability to communicate with your wife.
Have you considered communicating with your wife? |
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If you struggle to communicate outside of swinging then eventually swinging will destroy your relationship or you will quit just before it does.
Open up, free and honest communication going both ways... then maybe consider swinging if it's what you both want. |
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Agree with much of what was said. Practically though, delete your profile and start talking to your wife. Go to a Club with her and see if this works in any way for you, talk about how you feel and then see how you go from there. You don't have to play with anyone else, but going and seeing other ordinary people do this might help you both to open up.
Good luck |
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"I have been on this site for a year or so now and have seen some sexy people and had my eyes opened to a world of pure sexual goodness but I have a dilemma!!! Me and my wife have a non existent sex life and she has no idea I am on this site let alone some of the things I think and fantasize about. I'm pretty sure she would leave me if she found out but it doesn't stop me from thinking that maybe getting her involved in this world would be good not just for us a couple but her also, I frequently think about sharing her with another fit man and would love to see her with another woman but how do approach that??? Anyone else had this issue???"
Why doesn't she have any idea of the things you think and fantasise about? Go back to the beginning, re-establish communication with your wife. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been on this site for a year or so now and have seen some sexy people and had my eyes opened to a world of pure sexual goodness but I have a dilemma!!! Me and my wife have a non existent sex life and she has no idea I am on this site let alone some of the things I think and fantasize about. I'm pretty sure she would leave me if she found out but it doesn't stop me from thinking that maybe getting her involved in this world would be good not just for us a couple but her also, I frequently think about sharing her with another fit man and would love to see her with another woman but how do approach that??? Anyone else had this issue???
Why doesn't she have any idea of the things you think and fantasise about? Go back to the beginning, re-establish communication with your wife."
Maybe it's not a problem of communication, maybe his wife has no interest in sex.....at all. |
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"I have been on this site for a year or so now and have seen some sexy people and had my eyes opened to a world of pure sexual goodness but I have a dilemma!!! Me and my wife have a non existent sex life and she has no idea I am on this site let alone some of the things I think and fantasize about. I'm pretty sure she would leave me if she found out but it doesn't stop me from thinking that maybe getting her involved in this world would be good not just for us a couple but her also, I frequently think about sharing her with another fit man and would love to see her with another woman but how do approach that??? Anyone else had this issue???
Why doesn't she have any idea of the things you think and fantasise about? Go back to the beginning, re-establish communication with your wife.
Maybe it's not a problem of communication, maybe his wife has no interest in sex.....at all. "
Who knows! That's the problem with questions like this from just one partner any advice we give or comments we make are pretty useless, I still say communication is key though.
Edited because I misread your response  |
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I'd recommend Relate's sexual therapy counselling - you can go as a couple and it's really supportive.
I think whatever happens, there's going to be a big shock, whether you start talking about how you feel or just trip up and she finds out... but even if she's a natural swinger and didn't feel she could tell you, she'll still have to work through the shock and pain of finding out your secret. There's no quick fix...
Good luck! |
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