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Feeling inadequate
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"Don't read their verifications then. I don't." OK! I was only asking. | |||
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"I've got a verification that says I'm a shit shag another from a different lady agreeing and saying yes he is and another from a lady saying I'm better than watching paint dry and that I'm slightly better than a wank. Who know what? Who cares? I don't feel the slightest bit inadequate. " Ha ha.. I am fairly confident they were teasing you though. But good for you that such comments don't affect you!  | |||
"I tell my meets that I'm not that good, so they have low expectations that I easily beat. I've never been told I'm bad. Don't want to be a white knight but you're hot and most guys would probably be grateful to meet you no matter how bad you are lmao " LOL! !!!! I might need to read your message two or three times to work out how to take it!! Lol! So you state I am hot..... so even if I was shit in bed, it wouldn't matter????? Lol! Oh I think it would!!!!!!! | |||
" I know what you mean. I've felt the same on occasion somewhat. I just put it down to chemistry. It's not about whether someone is a fantastic lover or not. What pleases one person might not be what an other considers pleasurable. If there chemistry is there, then aces. I'm guilty of factoring in other's verifications in to whether I meet them. For a few reasons. " Well the veris are there to be read I guess so of course we could ignore them but curiosity gets the better of me sometimes and as you say... there can be other reasons other than what it says  | |||
"I tell my meets that I'm not that good, so they have low expectations that I easily beat. I've never been told I'm bad. Don't want to be a white knight but you're hot and most guys would probably be grateful to meet you no matter how bad you are lmao LOL! !!!! I might need to read your message two or three times to work out how to take it!! Lol! So you state I am hot..... so even if I was shit in bed, it wouldn't matter????? Lol! Oh I think it would!!!!!!! "I can only speak for myself, maybe I'm a little bit shallow lol | |||
"I've got a verification that says I'm a shit shag another from a different lady agreeing and saying yes he is and another from a lady saying I'm better than watching paint dry and that I'm slightly better than a wank. Who know what? Who cares? I don't feel the slightest bit inadequate. Ha ha.. I am fairly confident they were teasing you though. But good for you that such comments don't affect you! "They are joke ones to show people they don't matter that much. Take what people say when they say 'the best' with a pinch of salt - after all, their experiences to date might have been appalling and then they got someone semi-fuckable. | |||
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"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist! "It isn't just you,I bet lots of women/men feel like this I do. I find it best not to look at the verifications to closely | |||
"OP, find out what things you like and enjoy, what works for one person may not work for you. It's not meant to be the Olympics, I've seen guys trying to get women to orgasm in 30secs!, you shouldn’t feel that you have to try and compete, be yourself that’s what matters,and enjoy your experience "God your post reminded me of a guy I dated I dated (for a very short while!) who told me to 'hurry up and try harder! ' when i couldn't cum! But I was so stressed out by him pressuring me! I chucked him out after that comment though! | |||
"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist!
It isn't just you,I bet lots of women/men feel like this I do. I find it best not to look at the verifications to closely "It is difficult not to take peek if you are thinking of meeting someone lol..... I guess I have no will power! | |||
"I wouldn't worry too much. As others have said - they're subjective. Only they know what went on and our imaginations can run riot but we'll never know - nor do I want to! I'm wary of men who leave veris for women stating they were the 'best'... It's not a competition! " Is it a bit like Bruce Forsythe saying 'you are my favourite' to ALL the dancers on strictly????  | |||
"I get what you mean, OP. I used to feel that way, mostly when we first started out. But now I just remember two things (1)most verifications are just for show and (2)I'm here to have fun, not be someone's best fuck. So I just try to forget my insecurities and have fun. With the right people it's not that hard. "Actually...with the right people I think it SHOULD be hard??? Lol!!! Sorry! I think I am funnier than I am!! | |||
"I've got a verification that says I'm a shit shag another from a different lady agreeing and saying yes he is and another from a lady saying I'm better than watching paint dry and that I'm slightly better than a wank. Who know what? Who cares? I don't feel the slightest bit inadequate. Ha ha.. I am fairly confident they were teasing you though. But good for you that such comments don't affect you!
They are joke ones to show people they don't matter that much. Take what people say when they say 'the best' with a pinch of salt - after all, their experiences to date might have been appalling and then they got someone semi-fuckable. "LOL. ...'semi fuckable '???? Lol!!!!! | |||
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 ) and some are full of private jokes between two or more people that I won't get since I'm not one of them. If I'm really interested in someone I'll read their veris after we've met if at all since I don't want my own perceptions coloured beforehand. | |||
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"Getting booked in for therapy as we speak lol! Joking aside, I appreciate the different perspectives .. Self confidence is sexy as we all know so I also kn9w it doesnt matter what you look like, a poor delf esteeem /lack of confidence can be unattractive anyway. I know I lack self confidence and also lack will power to resist sometimes taking a peek at a verification lol.... if someone is of potential interest. I guess I just have to take it all less seriously. Xx " It's not so much that you need to stop taking it all so seriously , it's more your feeling of low self esteem . Verifications are not bullshit as most people on this thread claim them to be . Sabrina often looks at ours to boost herself when she feels a bit low .. Perhaps you need to just get out there and have some fun , which will make you realise your own worth ? | |||
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"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist! "If a guy gets a meet he's often so grateful he'll enthuse more than he should in the hope of another. All a veri shows is that they exist. Mine say I'm amazing when actually I'm an ugly munter who catches your bell end with my buck teeth and I'm a shit shag. | |||
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"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist!
If a guy gets a meet he's often so grateful he'll enthuse more than he should in the hope of another.
All a veri shows is that they exist. Mine say I'm amazing when actually I'm an ugly munter who catches your bell end with my buck teeth and I'm a shit shag. "LOL! !!!!!!!! That made me laugh out loud!!!!!! | |||
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"Although actually it's just occurred to me that no one has left me any even remotely sexual veries, and I've never had any lamp-post pissing, counting down to meeting me, glowing status updates after the event or all that other stuff either, so I'm obviously a mediocre shag. " But you said in your previous message that they had left you 'over flattering ' veris! We're they talking about your sausage rolls then?? Lol | |||
"Feeling better yet? "Yes thankyou that did make me laugh a lot! | |||
"Feeling better yet?
Yes thankyou that did make me laugh a lot!"You're very welcome. The written word on the internet is rarely worth the paper it's written on, if you catch my drift. You're clearly a very sexy lady and 'sensuous' is the very best anyone could ask for xx | |||
"Although actually it's just occurred to me that no one has left me any even remotely sexual veries, and I've never had any lamp-post pissing, counting down to meeting me, glowing status updates after the event or all that other stuff either, so I'm obviously a mediocre shag. " Oh bollocks. Now you've pointed that out, I haven't had any of those either. If only I still had my 'she's OK but I've had better' veri. I could just display that one and be done with it. Probably the most accurate. | |||
"Although actually it's just occurred to me that no one has left me any even remotely sexual veries, and I've never had any lamp-post pissing, counting down to meeting me, glowing status updates after the event or all that other stuff either, so I'm obviously a mediocre shag. But you said in your previous message that they had left you 'over flattering ' veris! We're they talking about your sausage rolls then?? Lol" No I meant they were over flattering about my looks, not my sexual performance. | |||
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"Although actually it's just occurred to me that no one has left me any even remotely sexual veries, and I've never had any lamp-post pissing, counting down to meeting me, glowing status updates after the event or all that other stuff either, so I'm obviously a mediocre shag. But you said in your previous message that they had left you 'over flattering ' veris! We're they talking about your sausage rolls then?? Lol No I meant they were over flattering about my looks, not my sexual performance." Oh I see! Mind you, I bet your sausage rolls are still good though lol!! | |||
"Although actually it's just occurred to me that no one has left me any even remotely sexual veries, and I've never had any lamp-post pissing, counting down to meeting me, glowing status updates after the event or all that other stuff either, so I'm obviously a mediocre shag. But you said in your previous message that they had left you 'over flattering ' veris! We're they talking about your sausage rolls then?? Lol No I meant they were over flattering about my looks, not my sexual performance. Oh I see! Mind you, I bet your sausage rolls are still good though lol!! " Only if I bought them from Greggs on the way to the meet, I'm not much of a cook | |||
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"Op we have just had to take a break due to me getting it in my head that I'm rubbish and that if good looking people want to meet, that the guy is taking one for the team. No idea why after over a decade my confidence has suddenly hit this spot... So I do get it... I know i will never be the best to all.. But I do this because i enjoy it and since being a couple because i enjoy the shared experience. This time away from the lifestyle I've been concentrating on self image and being positive... Its starting to work... So fingers crossed that normal perversions can soon be returned to. Cali " | |||
I look at verifications as just saying the guy is less likely to waste my time that's all. I pay no attention to the gory details. | |||
"Op we have just had to take a break due to me getting it in my head that I'm rubbish and that if good looking people want to meet, that the guy is taking one for the team. No idea why after over a decade my confidence has suddenly hit this spot... So I do get it... I know i will never be the best to all.. But I do this because i enjoy it and since being a couple because i enjoy the shared experience. This time away from the lifestyle I've been concentrating on self image and being positive... Its starting to work... So fingers crossed that normal perversions can soon be returned to. Cali " Your so not alone with this. I go through phases like this every so often and I can never really explain why as there's never a clear cut reason but I always come out the other side of it, enjoying myself and this site again. | |||
"Considering how all the men here seemed to be starved of meets, I think they're just so excited to get sex, they write anything! I would have been totally traumatised by a guy telling me to hurry up and cum OP. That's not good. I'd probably warn a guy that I don't cum easily/at all usually on meets. And reassure them that that's ok, and it's not a reflection on their technique - they have sensitive egos too. I spend so much time warning guys about how crap I am before I meet, I rarely get meets, so I've given up for the moment until I'm less crap. "ME too!!! Lol.... I always tell guys I find it difficult to cum so when I read of cumming, gushing, squirting orgasmic women on here (on forums too, not just veris ), it's difficult not to feel I am 'not quite up to the standard ' lol!!!!!! Yes yes before anyone shouts me down..... I KNOW there is no standard but it just feels that way . It's similar when I say I am submissive. There are certain things a lot of Dominant men are 'surprised ' I don't do as 'de rigeur ' of being a 'submissive woman' . The two main ones are that I don't do anal sex and I am not bisexual. I cannot tell you the number of times men have lost interest in me because of that! I spent years on the fetish scene in London.... well 'watching' everyone else on the fetish scene in clubs etc. ... because I wasn't a match for the 'perfect submissive'...so I didn't get to play! I am not kidding you...... that scene was very judgmental! | |||
"Read the whole of my comment then take a look at my verifications. I'm in no way a great shag, I have very little experience of anything other than bog standard sex, I actually only started having sex a couple of years ago and haven't had that many meets. I haven't done anything special during those meets, I've just sucked the guy's cock and fucked, nothing special, nothing amazing. Does that match the impression my verifications give or do you think they may be a little ott? The party one I didn't even take my clothes off at that party let alone play!
I look at verifications as just saying the guy is less likely to waste my time that's all. I pay no attention to the gory details. "Thats a brave, honest and touching post xxx | |||
"Thats a brave, honest and touching post xxx" Thank you but it's just that I know how it feels to not feel good enough. I've spent all my teen and adult life wondering if I'd ever be able turn a man on. It turns out that I can turn some on! Not all but that's never going to happen anyway, but there have been and are guys who enjoy my company. So I look back and remind myself of those good times to give me a boost. I also sometimes look at my verifications and chuckle to myself. The sex wasn't that good, yes it was enjoyable but verification matching good? Not a chance, they would have had better. But I don't care, I enjoyed the time spent with them and that's what matters. It also reminds me that everyone else's verifications can be just as ott and more. But if they have chosen to talk to me and arrange a meet then they must be interested in me. And if the sex isn't the most mind blowing they have had then who cares when it's obvious from their hard on and them just still being there that we must be doing something right and if that doesn't happen then never mind, we can't please everyone, it's just trial and error really, and if we want the chance of fun then we to go for it. I look at it as a chance to learn some new tricks to improve and maybe one day match my verifications! | |||
"I have had a few conversations with some men about this topic and this post does relate a little to one that is doing the rounds currently on 'turning someone down if you think they are too hot for you'. The thing is.... I read verifications and whilst part of me takes them with a pinch of salt (or tries to) because they are so subjective.....there is a major part of me that feels instantly inadequate sexually when i read of the exploits and adventures they have had with some women. I just know I can't compete with that kind of 'performance' and when a man has had the 'best' blow job or the 'best' fuck of their lives????? Well...... how do they top that??? Not with me! Because I won't pretend to be this amazing lover! I am a sensualist but I don't cum easily. I don't gush or squirt or DP ..... and whilst I envy those women who can cum on command...unfortunately this is just not me so verifications where I read their descriptions of women they have played with as having 'Incredible, amazing, stunning, mind blowing oral /other skills'... sometimes I wish I didn't know! Lol! I just think 'shit' I am going to one huge let down after that!!! I am no sexual olympian. I am just one very ordinary woman. But I feel a pressure which i am sure I place on myself... but nevertheless... it's my insecurity complex showing it's ugly face again. " . Just ignore verifications . Most of them are meaningless and why would anyone with any common sense want to display them anyway ?. | |||
"I have had a few conversations with some men about this topic and this post does relate a little to one that is doing the rounds currently on 'turning someone down if you think they are too hot for you'. The thing is.... I read verifications and whilst part of me takes them with a pinch of salt (or tries to) because they are so subjective.....there is a major part of me that feels instantly inadequate sexually when i read of the exploits and adventures they have had with some women. I just know I can't compete with that kind of 'performance' and when a man has had the 'best' blow job or the 'best' fuck of their lives????? Well...... how do they top that??? Not with me! Because I won't pretend to be this amazing lover! I am a sensualist but I don't cum easily. I don't gush or squirt or DP ..... and whilst I envy those women who can cum on command...unfortunately this is just not me so verifications where I read their descriptions of women they have played with as having 'Incredible, amazing, stunning, mind blowing oral /other skills'... sometimes I wish I didn't know! Lol! I just think 'shit' I am going to one huge let down after that!!! I am no sexual olympian. I am just one very ordinary woman. But I feel a pressure which i am sure I place on myself... but nevertheless... it's my insecurity complex showing it's ugly face again. . Just ignore verifications . Most of them are meaningless and why would anyone with any common sense want to display them anyway ?. " I've always thought you had a lot of common sense | |||
"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist! "Everyone is different. I am not skinny, wear glasses and not everyone's idea of a fun time. The women I have played with have enjoyed it and I have enjoyed playing with all of them. Some were amazing lovers for all different reasons... Anything from oral skills that I enjoyed to nice cuddles afterwards. However I have read verifications where they 'gave the best blowjob ever' and when they were trying it on me I disliked it - nothing to do with them - just everyone is different and has different preferences. Other times I have met women who said they could never cum through sex and had them orgasming on my cock with the next 30 Minutes - purely just because the shape of my cock seemed to suit them better, or I had done more foreplay or anyone of a dozen reasons - then there are the women who normally cum but for some reason it's a bit of a struggle. If someone meets me I look for us both to have a good time - rating people compared to past lovers never once enters my mind - you just have to meet the right sort of people for you. | |||
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"I think the trick is to change your mindset from "how I can please others" to "how others can please me." Instead of aiming to receive verifications that say "Best fuck ever" try only meeting with people you think you'll end up saying those words yourself. " I didn't say i was aiming to recieve verifications????? 
We were discussing feelings of inadequacy when reading the verifications of those we might be potentially interested in.
I am sorry but I think you have come into the conversation late and completely misunderstood the conversation.
Getting verifications for oneself is a completely different topic altogether and not one that I have personally started. | |||
"I think the trick is to change your mindset from "how I can please others" to "how others can please me." Instead of aiming to receive verifications that say "Best fuck ever" try only meeting with people you think you'll end up saying those words yourself. I didn't say i was aiming to recieve verifications?????
We were discussing feelings of inadequacy when reading the verifications of those we might be potentially interested in.
I am sorry but I think you have come into the conversation late and completely misunderstood the conversation.
Getting verifications for oneself is a completely different topic altogether and not one that I have personally started. "Sorry, I didn't word that post very well... I didn't think you were out to collect veris, but my point was more that you shouldn't focus so much on feeling like you have to be good enough for other people. Instead, think about whether they're good enough for you. That might sound selfish, and yeah, I guess it is. But sometimes being selfish actually feels REALLY good! | |||
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"How do you know the other women mentioned are not just faking - most men wouldn't be able to tell the difference." I don't. But personally I dont understand why anyone would give an overly exaggerated verification if they didnt think he was that fantastic. If it was a truly awful experience then i personally wouldn't write one at all. If he was a polite and nice man but didn't set the world alight for me sexually then I would simply write a polite and pleasant verification. I wouldn't write a fabricated account. I don't understand the motive for anyone doing that.You think they do? I wouldn't know. | |||
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"I think the trick is to change your mindset from "how I can please others" to "how others can please me." Instead of aiming to receive verifications that say "Best fuck ever" try only meeting with people you think you'll end up saying those words yourself. I didn't say i was aiming to recieve verifications?????
We were discussing feelings of inadequacy when reading the verifications of those we might be potentially interested in.
I am sorry but I think you have come into the conversation late and completely misunderstood the conversation.
Getting verifications for oneself is a completely different topic altogether and not one that I have personally started.
Sorry, I didn't word that post very well...
I didn't think you were out to collect veris, but my point was more that you shouldn't focus so much on feeling like you have to be good enough for other people. Instead, think about whether they're good enough for you.
That might sound selfish, and yeah, I guess it is. But sometimes being selfish actually feels REALLY good!"Well on that point. ...in principle I believe you are right. That's good self esteem though isn't it? Maybe some of us struggle a bit with that. Some might also wonder why i would subject myself to a swingers site if my self esteem is low but maybe in some weird way I hoped it might eventueally help me get my sexual mojo back. Of course I could be way off track. | |||
"How do you know the other women mentioned are not just faking - most men wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I don't. But personally I dont understand why anyone would give an overly exaggerated verification if they didnt think he was that fantastic. If it was a truly awful experience then i personally wouldn't write one at all. If he was a polite and nice man but didn't set the world alight for me sexually then I would simply write a polite and pleasant verification. I wouldn't write a fabricated account. I don't understand the motive for anyone doing that.You think they do? I wouldn't know." I guess one reason could be about keeping up appearances. Not everyone is as down to earth and honest as you, (if they were, the world would be a better place) and they want other people to see that they had this amazing time with an amazing person. It's just a self-egoboost. | |||
"Apparently every woman on the site gives the best blowjob in the world so take those verifications with a pinch of salt but to be honest. No one is going to leave bad feedback, even if it wasn't the meet of their lives. It all gets overexaggerated in my opinion" Thats the bit i dont get - the exaggerated veris! Obviously noone wants to be rude or hurt anyone's feelings but one can be nice without being fake I believe. Maybe going off topic a bit but anyway. | |||
"How do you know the other women mentioned are not just faking - most men wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I don't. But personally I dont understand why anyone would give an overly exaggerated verification if they didnt think he was that fantastic. If it was a truly awful experience then i personally wouldn't write one at all. If he was a polite and nice man but didn't set the world alight for me sexually then I would simply write a polite and pleasant verification. I wouldn't write a fabricated account. I don't understand the motive for anyone doing that.You think they do? I wouldn't know. I guess one reason could be about keeping up appearances. Not everyone is as down to earth and honest as you, (if they were, the world would be a better place) and they want other people to see that they had this amazing time with an amazing person. It's just a self-egoboost. " This entire discussion has certainly made me think about verifications in a new light! I didn't think I was that naive but maybe I am! | |||
" Well on that point. ...in principle I believe you are right. That's good self esteem though isn't it? Maybe some of us struggle a bit with that. Some might also wonder why i would subject myself to a swingers site if my self esteem is low but maybe in some weird way I hoped it might eventueally help me get my sexual mojo back. Of course I could be way off track." I think honestly, fab can help you work through your self-esteem issues, but ultimately, it won't work on its own. I've always had poor self-esteem and always had an inferiority complex - I mostly still do. Always had a huge fear of rejection, and Fab certainly helped me get over that once I saw just how much guys generally get turned down here, haha. But really the thing that worked for me was a 'fake it until you make it' attitude. In a situation when you feel your self-esteem was holding you back, literally think the words in your head "what would I LIKE to be able to do right now?" ... and then just do it! | |||
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" Well on that point. ...in principle I believe you are right. That's good self esteem though isn't it? Maybe some of us struggle a bit with that. Some might also wonder why i would subject myself to a swingers site if my self esteem is low but maybe in some weird way I hoped it might eventueally help me get my sexual mojo back. Of course I could be way off track. I think honestly, fab can help you work through your self-esteem issues, but ultimately, it won't work on its own. I've always had poor self-esteem and always had an inferiority complex - I mostly still do. Always had a huge fear of rejection, and Fab certainly helped me get over that once I saw just how much guys generally get turned down here, haha. But really the thing that worked for me was a 'fake it until you make it' attitude. In a situation when you feel your self-esteem was holding you back, literally think the words in your head "what would I LIKE to be able to do right now?" ... and then just do it! " Thankyou..let's see how I get on lol!!! | |||
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"I don't have veris, so I cannot claim to be great at anything. Ive read many veris and many profiles and to be honest after reading some, it definitely puts doubt in my mind too about inadequacy. Some ask for huge Cocks, stamina of an Ox and multiple cummers to go on all night. I know I can't do that but wonder how many regular guys actually can? I don't bother contacting because I fall short of their expectations. So its not just you who feels inadequate, I'm sure it affects quite a few people. " Seeing a ripped guy say he feels inadequate is both happy and sad at the same time! | |||
If it is for some then fabulous but we have been honest here this evening that we all have our moments of insecurity or sense of not being good enough. It's a work in progress for us all so let's continue to raise eachother up and not be tempted to ever put eachother down....
Xxxx | |||
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However... I have some nice veri's and I've met some great people and had fun times. So perhaps appearances can be deceiving. | |||
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"I have had a few conversations with some men about this topic and this post does relate a little to one that is doing the rounds currently on 'turning someone down if you think they are too hot for you'. The thing is.... I read verifications and whilst part of me takes them with a pinch of salt (or tries to) because they are so subjective.....there is a major part of me that feels instantly inadequate sexually when i read of the exploits and adventures they have had with some women. I just know I can't compete with that kind of 'performance' and when a man has had the 'best' blow job or the 'best' fuck of their lives????? Well...... how do they top that??? Not with me! Because I won't pretend to be this amazing lover! I am a sensualist but I don't cum easily. I don't gush or squirt or DP ..... and whilst I envy those women who can cum on command...unfortunately this is just not me so verifications where I read their descriptions of women they have played with as having 'Incredible, amazing, stunning, mind blowing oral /other skills'... sometimes I wish I didn't know! Lol! I just think 'shit' I am going to one huge let down after that!!! I am no sexual olympian. I am just one very ordinary woman. But I feel a pressure which i am sure I place on myself... but nevertheless... it's my insecurity complex showing it's ugly face again. " but some women might think the same about themselves when looking at your photos. wow shes hot/slim/sexier etc. dont compare yourself to others and have confidence that you have strengths in other areas... other areas other men etc might prefer. its not all about performance. i am more drawn to verifications on personality tbh  | |||
"OP, find out what things you like and enjoy, what works for one person may not work for you. It's not meant to be the Olympics, I've seen guys trying to get women to orgasm in 30secs!, you shouldn’t feel that you have to try and compete, be yourself that’s what matters,and enjoy your experience
God your post reminded me of a guy I dated I dated (for a very short while!) who told me to 'hurry up and try harder! ' when i couldn't cum! But I was so stressed out by him pressuring me! I chucked him out after that comment though! "I agree about not worrying what veri's say. I must admit to worrying about being inadequate to our meets too. Some profiles state that single guys must be VWE or they will meet couples. As the male half of a couple, I am only Mr average in that dept, so wonder if I am a let down for a female who seeks VWE!! As for women who cum in 30 seconds, I would be quite disappointed if I could only go down on a female for a short time and she came straight away. I am more than happy to lick away like a thirsty Labrador for until she builds to an orgasm. never ever feel inadequate, there is an old joke........ Describe your worst ever Blow Job....... FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! (Dan) | |||
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"OP I know what you mean, my insecurities stem more form forum threads where 'everyone' apart from me has experienced XYZ, I still have to google stuff that I read about on here. Any 'experience' I have, has been gained in the last 5 years. After talking this over with a fab friend though, he shared his viewpoint that he liked meeting me for me, the whole package not just for my sexual prowess, or lack of it (I added the last part...) Quite uncanny timing this thread as I'm actually wondering now after reading a few things. " I think in truth , people feel most comfortable with those who are honest and aren't afraid to show a little vulnerability and insecurity sometimes because we all feel that some days. It's just that some of us struggle with it more often to the point that it can be problematic to us. But I strongly suspect that your honesty and realness showed your fab friend that you are genuine and therefore he felt comfortable and relaxed in your company. You weren't trying to portray something you are not. You are being you! Which sounds perfect! X | |||
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"OP, find out what things you like and enjoy, what works for one person may not work for you. It's not meant to be the Olympics, I've seen guys trying to get women to orgasm in 30secs!, you shouldn’t feel that you have to try and compete, be yourself that’s what matters,and enjoy your experience
God your post reminded me of a guy I dated I dated (for a very short while!) who told me to 'hurry up and try harder! ' when i couldn't cum! But I was so stressed out by him pressuring me! I chucked him out after that comment though!
I agree about not worrying what veri's say. I must admit to worrying about being inadequate to our meets too. Some profiles state that single guys must be VWE or they will meet couples. As the male half of a couple, I am only Mr average in that dept, so wonder if I am a let down for a female who seeks VWE!!
As for women who cum in 30 seconds, I would be quite disappointed if I could only go down on a female for a short time and she came straight away. I am more than happy to lick away like a thirsty Labrador for until she builds to an orgasm. never ever feel inadequate, there is an old joke........
Describe your worst ever Blow Job.......
FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! (Dan)"LOL! !!!! | |||
"OP I know what you mean, my insecurities stem more form forum threads where 'everyone' apart from me has experienced XYZ, I still have to google stuff that I read about on here. Any 'experience' I have, has been gained in the last 5 years. After talking this over with a fab friend though, he shared his viewpoint that he liked meeting me for me, the whole package not just for my sexual prowess, or lack of it (I added the last part...) Quite uncanny timing this thread as I'm actually wondering now after reading a few things. " I like threads like this as they show that pretty much everyone thinks like this sometimes. I find it helps. Also I like your comment about people liking you for being you.
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) at the other extreme. Surely, if you met people for fun and had a good night then saying "had a good night" is sufficient? Why describe every detail of everything that happened?
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"Ok, first of all, you have awesome tits. Awesome. Secondly. I have no idea. I can't stop looking at your tits. "
Also lovely boobs yourself, like playing Snap with breasts. Sorry going off topic.
I agree with others, dont read too much into veris as TBH nobody is going to post a veri saying:
'Met them and pics must be from google as nothing like in real life. They were an average kisser, gave no foreplay, satisified themselves cumming within 5 minutes and leaving within 10' | |||
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"Confidence is key.....your you and for that reason your different to any other women, And because your one of a kind no man will ever have a women like you.... Think of it that way and be positive." I like that! | |||
"Ok, first of all, you have awesome tits. Awesome. Secondly. I have no idea. I can't stop looking at your tits.
Also lovely boobs yourself, like playing Snap with breasts. Sorry going off topic.
I agree with others, dont read too much into veris as TBH nobody is going to post a veri saying:
'Met them and pics must be from google as nothing like in real life. They were an average kisser, gave no foreplay, satisified themselves cumming within 5 minutes and leaving within 10'"When my friend was on here she had exactly just such a meet. So much so that 15 mins after he had arrived, and a few after he left, she was on the phone to me to "sort her out" calling him "panda man" (eats, shoots, leaves..though he didn't eat, he had a glass of wine). She came round to mine...a coup,e of hours later she checked her profile...he had left a "glowing"  verification for her, describing all kinds of things that didn't happen. Her only option was to block him so as to remove that verification.
I think some guys write exaggerated verifications in order to blow smoke up their own arses! | |||
"Glad you're feeling a bit better OP. One thing that I've remembered which made me feel incredibly inferior at the beginning was all the derision you see and hear about "vanilla" sex. Well I'm straight, I'm not into group meets or gang bangs, I don't go to clubs, I like kissing, I love sex in the missionary position, I'm the very person all those "gentle", "beginner" bondage type kits were made for, I don't want to be made to bleed or not be able to sit down for a week afterwards - I have the vanilla-est of vanilla sex but that doesn't make me lesser, just different. If someone wants to be chained from the ceiling and fucked up the arse in full view of a team of wanking strangers more power to them, but they won't find that here. I've struggled with this when someone I've met who I thought had a good time with me has then gone on to seek these other things from their other meets, but it probably just means I should be clearer up front about how boring I actually am." I don't think what you describe is boring, it's erotic and horny. I struggle with what you describe too. But I remind myself that my mood changes. Sometimes I want rollercoasters, sometimes to sit in the sun listening to the birds sing. I enjoy both things. It describes swinging to me. Enjoying different things. | |||
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"I have had a few conversations with some men about this topic and this post does relate a little to one that is doing the rounds currently on 'turning someone down if you think they are too hot for you'. The thing is.... I read verifications and whilst part of me takes them with a pinch of salt (or tries to) because they are so subjective.....there is a major part of me that feels instantly inadequate sexually when i read of the exploits and adventures they have had with some women. I just know I can't compete with that kind of 'performance' and when a man has had the 'best' blow job or the 'best' fuck of their lives????? Well...... how do they top that??? Not with me! Because I won't pretend to be this amazing lover! I am a sensualist but I don't cum easily. I don't gush or squirt or DP ..... and whilst I envy those women who can cum on command...unfortunately this is just not me so verifications where I read their descriptions of women they have played with as having 'Incredible, amazing, stunning, mind blowing oral /other skills'... sometimes I wish I didn't know! Lol! I just think 'shit' I am going to one huge let down after that!!! I am no sexual olympian. I am just one very ordinary woman. But I feel a pressure which i am sure I place on myself... but nevertheless... it's my insecurity complex showing it's ugly face again. " Hugs. | |||
"Ok, first of all, you have awesome tits. Awesome. Secondly. I have no idea. I can't stop looking at your tits. " My thoughts exactly. Trust me. You have no reason to feel inadequate. | |||
"I have had a few conversations with some men about this topic and this post does relate a little to one that is doing the rounds currently on 'turning someone down if you think they are too hot for you'. The thing is.... I read verifications and whilst part of me takes them with a pinch of salt (or tries to) because they are so subjective.....there is a major part of me that feels instantly inadequate sexually when i read of the exploits and adventures they have had with some women. I just know I can't compete with that kind of 'performance' and when a man has had the 'best' blow job or the 'best' fuck of their lives????? Well...... how do they top that??? Not with me! Because I won't pretend to be this amazing lover! I am a sensualist but I don't cum easily. I don't gush or squirt or DP ..... and whilst I envy those women who can cum on command...unfortunately this is just not me so verifications where I read their descriptions of women they have played with as having 'Incredible, amazing, stunning, mind blowing oral /other skills'... sometimes I wish I didn't know! Lol! I just think 'shit' I am going to one huge let down after that!!! I am no sexual olympian. I am just one very ordinary woman. But I feel a pressure which i am sure I place on myself... but nevertheless... it's my insecurity complex showing it's ugly face again. Hugs. " How could such a stunning lady be insecure !! try being an average looking guy competing against thousands of others. You simply have to embrace the fact that sex, closeness and friendship are not something your ever going to have. Not all guys are looking for an Olympic Sexathelete.. Some would just love a conversation !! You should also take heart in the fact that men exaggerate and boast.. Not saying all veries are embellished but I wouldn't rely to heavy on their literary content being a complete and accurate account of what took place | |||
"I don't have veris, so I cannot claim to be great at anything. Ive read many veris and many profiles and to be honest after reading some, it definitely puts doubt in my mind too about inadequacy. Some ask for huge Cocks, stamina of an Ox and multiple cummers to go on all night. I know I can't do that but wonder how many regular guys actually can? I don't bother contacting because I fall short of their expectations. So its not just you who feels inadequate, I'm sure it affects quite a few people. Seeing a ripped guy say he feels inadequate is both happy and sad at the same time! " I'm not ripped, not by a long way . Im very modest and have described myself as just an average guy.
After the best part of 10 months on this site I have learnt not to get frustrated, read profiles and veris with a pinch of salt and not to expect much. Anything beyond that is an added bonus.
That works for me very well | |||
"Ok, first of all, you have awesome tits. Awesome. Secondly. I have no idea. I can't stop looking at your tits.
Also lovely boobs yourself, like playing Snap with breasts. Sorry going off topic.
I agree with others, dont read too much into veris as TBH nobody is going to post a veri saying:
'Met them and pics must be from google as nothing like in real life. They were an average kisser, gave no foreplay, satisified themselves cumming within 5 minutes and leaving within 10'
When my friend was on here she had exactly just such a meet. So much so that 15 mins after he had arrived, and a few after he left, she was on the phone to me to "sort her out" calling him "panda man" (eats, shoots, leaves..though he didn't eat, he had a glass of wine). She came round to mine...a coup,e of hours later she checked her profile...he had left a "glowing" verification for her, describing all kinds of things that didn't happen. Her only option was to block him so as to remove that verification.
I think some guys write exaggerated verifications in order to blow smoke up their own arses!"That sounds an awful experience but with regard to his fake account in his verification of what happened, I agree blocking was clearly needed but you don't have to show verifications anyway so he was a bit of a prat to think you would publish it! | |||
" I've struggled with this when someone I've met who I thought had a good time with me has then gone on to seek these other things from their other meets, but it probably just means I should be clearer up front about how boring I actually am." That's made me feel a tad  reading this, as its tapped into my own insecurities about how boring I think I am too.
Are we boring though or is it more that people like a variety of experiences with different people ~ for my own sanity, I'm choosing to believe the latter
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"I have had a few conversations with some men about this topic and this post does relate a little to one that is doing the rounds currently on 'turning someone down if you think they are too hot for you'. The thing is.... I read verifications and whilst part of me takes them with a pinch of salt (or tries to) because they are so subjective.....there is a major part of me that feels instantly inadequate sexually when i read of the exploits and adventures they have had with some women. I just know I can't compete with that kind of 'performance' and when a man has had the 'best' blow job or the 'best' fuck of their lives????? Well...... how do they top that??? Not with me! Because I won't pretend to be this amazing lover! I am a sensualist but I don't cum easily. I don't gush or squirt or DP ..... and whilst I envy those women who can cum on command...unfortunately this is just not me so verifications where I read their descriptions of women they have played with as having 'Incredible, amazing, stunning, mind blowing oral /other skills'... sometimes I wish I didn't know! Lol! I just think 'shit' I am going to one huge let down after that!!! I am no sexual olympian. I am just one very ordinary woman. But I feel a pressure which i am sure I place on myself... but nevertheless... it's my insecurity complex showing it's ugly face again. " Ohhhh i could so have written that myself,ive actually decided not to meet guys after reading veris n decide i not good enough. One man in particular i feel very insecure about his previous meets. I met this guy tho as told myself to man up n go ,very sucessfull meet after all the anxiety and we plan to meet again but i cannot look at his veris with out really fightin the inner voice screaming who are you trying to kid that your good enough ,look ar who he has had ,to the point i dont let myself look now | |||
"Personally I agree with Roxi, I think people like variety of experiences with different people. For me it's not about what list of things they will do, it's about who they are and if they turn me on. If I like them and we get on, chances are we are going to have a great time regardless." I'm not actually sure I believe myself at times but if I start to over analyse I probably wouldn't end up meeting anyone. | |||
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"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist! "Don't listen to them obviously they don't understand that all women are different. You carry on girl and being you. It's not all about what you had mentioned. No way are you in adequate. Jon.x | |||
Have a fun filled weekend everyone | |||
"Thank you OP for creating this thread and for everyone sharing their views. This really engages my mind and had me hooked for hours! First thing I noticed is how even incredibly sexy people on here share the same feelings as the rest of us not so fortunate people. Feeling inadequate is pressure you put on yourself. Imagine us single guys did the same. Most would leave, but we remain strong and continue to face the ever growing challenges on here. Here are my thoughts: We all have strengths and weaknesses. Some choose to focus on their strengths... Verifications - An important tool on Fab, part of my 'check list' to see if the person I am chatting to is real and genuine. They are there to help us identify if potential friends/meets are who they say they are... e.g. a man could be pretending to be a woman. Veri's are between the people who have a meet. If they display them we can all read if we choose to do so. This does not mean what happend at that meet will happen again. E.g. when someone has had the 'best experience ever', 'could not walk for days after', 'he/she is soo handsome/hot' etc etc Remember if you say a person is amazing, someone else can say that same person is rubbish... so no point focusing on what other people think or what their descriptive veri's say. If you focus on their past you will waste valuable time in the present therefore reducing the chances of having a succesful future meet. Important things to me: Communication and connection is key. If you engage the person, be open and honest, share your thoughts and let that person get to know you as you are... the chances of having a memorable encounter are increased dramatically! Whilst I take people's opinions/veri's into consideration... I always make my own decisions. That applies to clubs also. OP always be yourself and know if people get an opportunity to meet you they are very lucky. If they cannot accept you as you are it is their loss. I can go on for much longer... have soo many things to share on this topic! Prehaps another time. Besides i'm just your average headless suit, you lot are just way too sexy!!
Have a fun filled weekend everyone "Thats a really lovely post. Thankyou! Xxx | |||
"Thank you OP for creating this thread and for everyone sharing their views. This really engages my mind and had me hooked for hours! First thing I noticed is how even incredibly sexy people on here share the same feelings as the rest of us not so fortunate people. Feeling inadequate is pressure you put on yourself. Imagine us single guys did the same. Most would leave, but we remain strong and continue to face the ever growing challenges on here. Here are my thoughts: We all have strengths and weaknesses. Some choose to focus on their strengths... Verifications - An important tool on Fab, part of my 'check list' to see if the person I am chatting to is real and genuine. They are there to help us identify if potential friends/meets are who they say they are... e.g. a man could be pretending to be a woman. Veri's are between the people who have a meet. If they display them we can all read if we choose to do so. This does not mean what happend at that meet will happen again. E.g. when someone has had the 'best experience ever', 'could not walk for days after', 'he/she is soo handsome/hot' etc etc Remember if you say a person is amazing, someone else can say that same person is rubbish... so no point focusing on what other people think or what their descriptive veri's say. If you focus on their past you will waste valuable time in the present therefore reducing the chances of having a succesful future meet. Important things to me: Communication and connection is key. If you engage the person, be open and honest, share your thoughts and let that person get to know you as you are... the chances of having a memorable encounter are increased dramatically! Whilst I take people's opinions/veri's into consideration... I always make my own decisions. That applies to clubs also. OP always be yourself and know if people get an opportunity to meet you they are very lucky. If they cannot accept you as you are it is their loss. I can go on for much longer... have soo many things to share on this topic! Prehaps another time. Besides i'm just your average headless suit, you lot are just way too sexy!!
Have a fun filled weekend everyone "Brilliantly put. I'd doff my hat if I were wearing one. We are all very different, enjoy some of the same things and some different things. For me Fab is pure experimentation. I've learnt so much about what I enjoy and an equal amount about what does nothing for me. Finding like minded folk with whom to experiment lets me be at ease with myself and allows my self confidence to shine through. Meeting someone I find myself uneasy with can either put me into a bad place or make me run. There's absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying adventurous, boundary pushing fetish laden sex with one partner as well as missionary, straight, kissing and cuddling with another. Different people will bring out a different mood in me and that's all down to communication and the all important connection. Mr average headless suit? I think not. | |||
" I've struggled with this when someone I've met who I thought had a good time with me has then gone on to seek these other things from their other meets, but it probably just means I should be clearer up front about how boring I actually am. That's made me feel a tad reading this, as its tapped into my own insecurities about how boring I think I am too.
Are we boring though or is it more that people like a variety of experiences with different people ~ for my own sanity, I'm choosing to believe the latter
"You may be right, and it's the latter - but I don't really believe that myself. I know what I like, so if there are men out there who one minute really enjoy normal sex with the lights off and the next minute want to be pegged in a club by three women and a dwarf then I can't really relate to them. I'm being a bit flippant, obviously, but it is something that makes me feel a bit
I just wish that the ones who actually want more than what I have to offer wouldn't meet me in the first place. | |||
"Confidence is key.....your you and for that reason your different to any other women, And because your one of a kind no man will ever have a women like you.... Think of it that way and be positive. I like that! " | |||
"I've got a verification that says I'm a shit shag another from a different lady agreeing and saying yes he is and another from a lady saying I'm better than watching paint dry and that I'm slightly better than a wank. Who know what? Who cares? I don't feel the slightest bit inadequate. " Good attitude, admirable. What vile people | |||
"I have had a few conversations with some men about this topic and this post does relate a little to one that is doing the rounds currently on 'turning someone down if you think they are too hot for you'. The thing is.... I read verifications and whilst part of me takes them with a pinch of salt (or tries to) because they are so subjective.....there is a major part of me that feels instantly inadequate sexually when i read of the exploits and adventures they have had with some women. I just know I can't compete with that kind of 'performance' and when a man has had the 'best' blow job or the 'best' fuck of their lives????? Well...... how do they top that??? Not with me! Because I won't pretend to be this amazing lover! I am a sensualist but I don't cum easily. I don't gush or squirt or DP ..... and whilst I envy those women who can cum on command...unfortunately this is just not me so verifications where I read their descriptions of women they have played with as having 'Incredible, amazing, stunning, mind blowing oral /other skills'... sometimes I wish I didn't know! Lol! I just think 'shit' I am going to one huge let down after that!!! I am no sexual olympian. I am just one very ordinary woman. But I feel a pressure which i am sure I place on myself... but nevertheless... it's my insecurity complex showing it's ugly face again. " Don't feel you would be a let down, or put yourself under pressure. I am a guy who does not see the fascination with gushing or squirting. Good sex is 2 people relaxing and enjoying each others company and just going with the flow x | |||
me included have our insecurities. Dont beat up on yourself. I dont cum either.. and have been promised " oh dont worry, I WILL GIVE YOU MULTIPLES" by so many (at which point I avoid them)
The guy who did ? Didnt pressure me, hurry me or make me feel lesser. He just gave me the right things at the right time.
Its not a race, a competition or an achievement.
Imagine saying you dont sneeze and guys sayin., I will make you sneeze so much you'll think you have flu
Just be your gorgeous self and enjoy fabbing | |||
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"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist! "I think for some this is a natural worry and for others not so much. From personal experience, we are both in your position. For 2 reasons, one because obviously we want to be good and not be a let down vs people's other experiences but secondly because we have had limited experience so still learning as we go. Its hard but try not to compare yourself with others. You will bring plenty to the table and if someone expects more then they are not for you. We have been through a few phases of feeling a bit inadequate having been on here and seen either giant cocks or others experiences etc. But we now just take the view of, we know what we like, it may be too vanilla for some but that's fine as we will fine a woman or couple that is on our level and likes us for who we are. That way the sex and connection will be great. Hope this helps | |||
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"Time can make a difference sometimes. Maybe the OP is feeling differently a year later." Haha. We didn't even spot the date. Guessing it's been revived | |||
"Ok....must just be then. I know other women get self conscious and struggle with self confidence too so I wondered if this post might have rung a bell with anyone else... Looks like it's just me! Lol ! Blimey..anyone know a decent therapist! "Nope, it's fairly common to feel this way.... May I suggest stop reading veris and message the person for a chat first.... Definitely works better that way x | |||
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"Yikes OP hasn't been on for five months "Yep, hope she’s ok | |||
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"What’s with all the old threads being revived at the moment? " Unfinished business | |||
