FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > confused
confused
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi guys and girls, need some advice as im confused. Someone on my hotlist wants to get to know people with fun and 'banterous' chat with the physical connection following. However, having messaged her a couple of times she has ignored me flat, now I know I don't have a face pic but my profile isn't that bad, so how can someone want chat first before physical but wont even bother giving me a chance to prove myself? Any thoughts people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She doesn't want to chat to you. "
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't send flowers to the postman if I miss him when at work...I don't call back a person selling PPI, to tell them I'm not interested....I don't speak to little green men either. ....I could go on....oh and thank you and please, as well I have manners.....shock horror.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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very true but when the person says she wants to chat to people to get to know them first, this is what im finding odd.surely everyone should be given a chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"very true but when the person says she wants to chat to people to get to know them first, this is what im finding odd.surely everyone should be given a chance."
Why? Say she gets 50 plus messages a day, should she give all of them a chance? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She doesn't want to chat to you.
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for "
guess so, I know im not going to be everyones cup of tea, but when this person wants chat first (as do I) then that's what I find confusing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no reply"
Does a bum pic count as a face pic  |
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"surely everyone should be given a chance."
Really? Us women must take our valuable time and give every man who messages us a chance?
Just because a woman is on Fab doesn't mean she owes anyone anything. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no reply"
that is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She doesn't want to chat to you.
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for guess so, I know im not going to be everyones cup of tea, but when this person wants chat first (as do I) then that's what I find confusing."
But if you're not her cup of tea, why would she want to talk to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She doesn't want to chat to you.
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for guess so, I know im not going to be everyones cup of tea, but when this person wants chat first (as do I) then that's what I find confusing."
I'm not sure I'm understanding why it's confusing. No doubt she looked at your profile and decided she didn't want to get to know you. I get messages all the time, yes It says ony profile I love to chat, but that doesn't mean I will chat to everyone who messages. They have to stand out with their profile for me to want to do that, and if I chatted to everyone I wouldn't have a life  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no reply
Does a bum pic count as a face pic "
same sort of stuff comes from both ends, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys and girls, need some advice as im confused. Someone on my hotlist wants to get to know people with fun and 'banterous' chat with the physical connection following. However, having messaged her a couple of times she has ignored me flat, now I know I don't have a face pic but my profile isn't that bad, so how can someone want chat first before physical but wont even bother giving me a chance to prove myself? Any thoughts people?"
I don't understand what is so confusing to you?
I think you need to factor in how many messages females get. The sheer number of messages means that this female or indeed any can be picky. If you had 100 messages a day, most of which having the sense to attach a face photo, would you bother with those who don't? You wouldn't.
For this very reason, it is also unfair to crticise people for not replying if not interested. Again assuming 100 messages a day it is not for the profile user to message every single one back regardless of interest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no reply
Does a bum pic count as a face pic
If your an arse yeah  "
Oh yes im a big arse  |
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no replythat is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?"
I'm my opinion yes, saves both parties time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no reply
Does a bum pic count as a face pic
Your new pic is cute "
Ty minx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"very true but when the person says she wants to chat to people to get to know them first, this is what im finding odd.surely everyone should be given a chance.
Why? Say she gets 50 plus messages a day, should she give all of them a chance? "
possibly, especially if the person wants the same thing as she does i.e chat first to get to know the person. |
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no reply
Does a bum pic count as a face pic
If your an arse yeah
Oh yes im a big arse "
Ha you seem like a cute arse tho  |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I always want to chat to people first, however, if I have no interested in them then I wont.
I am fed up with men using the 'give me/us a chance' statement.
I am on here for my pleasure, nobody else's  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a lot of guys on here fail to grasp is the FAQ section, in particular the one advising its not rude to not reply, it should be taken as a no thanks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I once asked Katie price if I could cum on her tits on Twitter, she didn't reply! Is she playing hard to get? Shall I keep asking her? Naaaaa she's not interested so I left it. Desperation and constant messages may make you seem needy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"surely everyone should be given a chance.
Really? Us women must take our valuable time and give every man who messages us a chance?
Just because a woman is on Fab doesn't mean she owes anyone anything."
well it does seem that a lot of women on here want that from the men so why not the other way round? |
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no replythat is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?"
- Don't have a whingey profile
- Accept that not all women on here will like you
- Effort in is proportionate to success
- Always send a face pic in the first message
- Never mention sex in the first message
- Make the first message prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have read their profile AND that you match what they want
- If you do not match then do not message
- Never send a cock pic unless asked for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"very true but when the person says she wants to chat to people to get to know them first, this is what im finding odd.surely everyone should be given a chance.
Why? Say she gets 50 plus messages a day, should she give all of them a chance? possibly, especially if the person wants the same thing as she does i.e chat first to get to know the person."
So you'd talk to 50 different people to give them a chance even if the profile of many don't appeal to you??! |
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"surely everyone should be given a chance.
Really? Us women must take our valuable time and give every man who messages us a chance?
Just because a woman is on Fab doesn't mean she owes anyone anything.well it does seem that a lot of women on here want that from the men so why not the other way round?"
It's simple economics supply and demand. |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
"... so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?"
Yes. When a woman has 50+ messages from men in her inbox, the ones without face-pics are the easiest to ignore. You also need to think about whether insisting on a reply is really doing you any favours. That, and the tone of your first post, sounds like you have an unrealistic sense of 'entitlement'. Read the FAQs - it's NOT rude not to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She doesn't want to chat to you.
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for guess so, I know im not going to be everyones cup of tea, but when this person wants chat first (as do I) then that's what I find confusing.
But if you're not her cup of tea, why would she want to talk to you?"
hmmm, good point. |
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no replythat is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?
- Don't have a whingey profile
- Accept that not all women on here will like you
- Effort in is proportionate to success
- Always send a face pic in the first message
- Never mention sex in the first message
- Make the first message prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have read their profile AND that you match what they want
- If you do not match then do not message
- Never send a cock pic unless asked for"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"She doesn't want to chat to you.
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for guess so, I know im not going to be everyones cup of tea, but when this person wants chat first (as do I) then that's what I find confusing.
I'm not sure I'm understanding why it's confusing. No doubt she looked at your profile and decided she didn't want to get to know you. I get messages all the time, yes It says ony profile I love to chat, but that doesn't mean I will chat to everyone who messages. They have to stand out with their profile for me to want to do that, and if I chatted to everyone I wouldn't have a life "
good point, so something that catches someones attention is whats needed? thankyou for your comment. |
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OP this is mean to be a fun site. Anyone who lectures us before you even so much as wink at us is not sexy.
"Also, if you aren't interested in me after ive messaged you then PLEASE have the decency to let me know, nothing worse than hanging on and wondering whether the person is going to reply, its simple courtesy and doesn't cost anything. This is something that a lot of women on here cant seem to grasp."
A lot of men cannot grasp that no answer = no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi guys and girls, need some advice as im confused. Someone on my hotlist wants to get to know people with fun and 'banterous' chat with the physical connection following. However, having messaged her a couple of times she has ignored me flat, now I know I don't have a face pic but my profile isn't that bad, so how can someone want chat first before physical but wont even bother giving me a chance to prove myself? Any thoughts people?
I don't understand what is so confusing to you?
I think you need to factor in how many messages females get. The sheer number of messages means that this female or indeed any can be picky. If you had 100 messages a day, most of which having the sense to attach a face photo, would you bother with those who don't? You wouldn't.
For this very reason, it is also unfair to crticise people for not replying if not interested. Again assuming 100 messages a day it is not for the profile user to message every single one back regardless of interest"
very good point, it does seem that men outnumber women on here so your comment makes perfect sense, thankyou. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no replythat is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?
I'm my opinion yes, saves both parties time"
thankyou for your advice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always want to chat to people first, however, if I have no interested in them then I wont.
I am fed up with men using the 'give me/us a chance' statement.
I am on here for my pleasure, nobody else's "
another valid point, thankyou. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Sorry OP but you are not entitled to anything on this site. You're not entitled to a Fab, a wink, a friend request acceptance, a message, a reply, a chat, a meet, a shag, a verification, or a remeet. Once you get that you'll enjoy your time here a lot better. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What a lot of guys on here fail to grasp is the FAQ section, in particular the one advising its not rude to not reply, it should be taken as a no thanks!"
guess im a bit old school with the manners thing but im realising that is how it works on here, thanks for your input on this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don't know what is confusing or why there seems to be so much angst over not replying. Delete all your sent mail as soon as its sent so you don't know what the recipient has done with it and get on with your life. You'll either get a reply at some point or you won't. This is supposed to be light hearted fun, the moment you try to over think and over analise things is the moment it ceases to be fun. Go with the flow, expect nothing and live you life. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I once asked Katie price if I could cum on her tits on Twitter, she didn't reply! Is she playing hard to get? Shall I keep asking her? Naaaaa she's not interested so I left it. Desperation and constant messages may make you seem needy"
that Katie price is very fussy about that, lol, but I see your point.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Another point I would make, is that you could have the best profile , the best photos and the best veri's but you still might not appeal to people.
One thing I notice, and it is not a criticism but purely an observation, is that you are bi curious. Some women just don't dig that. There could be several other reasons she might not 'dig' you and none of them you could change |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no replythat is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?
- Don't have a whingey profile
- Accept that not all women on here will like you
- Effort in is proportionate to success
- Always send a face pic in the first message
- Never mention sex in the first message
- Make the first message prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have read their profile AND that you match what they want
- If you do not match then do not message
- Never send a cock pic unless asked for"
all good advice which im going to take onboard, thanks for your input. |
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no replythat is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?
- Don't have a whingey profile
- Accept that not all women on here will like you
- Effort in is proportionate to success
- Always send a face pic in the first message
- Never mention sex in the first message
- Make the first message prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have read their profile AND that you match what they want
- If you do not match then do not message
- Never send a cock pic unless asked forall good advice which im going to take onboard, thanks for your input."
You're welcome. Everything said here is to help not have a go btw. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"... so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?
Yes. When a woman has 50+ messages from men in her inbox, the ones without face-pics are the easiest to ignore. You also need to think about whether insisting on a reply is really doing you any favours. That, and the tone of your first post, sounds like you have an unrealistic sense of 'entitlement'. Read the FAQs - it's NOT rude not to reply."
good point and advice, thankyou. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP this is mean to be a fun site. Anyone who lectures us before you even so much as wink at us is not sexy.
"Also, if you aren't interested in me after ive messaged you then PLEASE have the decency to let me know, nothing worse than hanging on and wondering whether the person is going to reply, its simple courtesy and doesn't cost anything. This is something that a lot of women on here cant seem to grasp."
A lot of men cannot grasp that no answer = no thanks."
yeah im gonna get rid of that bit, a profile revamp is definitely needed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really don't know what is confusing or why there seems to be so much angst over not replying. Delete all your sent mail as soon as its sent so you don't know what the recipient has done with it and get on with your life. You'll either get a reply at some point or you won't. This is supposed to be light hearted fun, the moment you try to over think and over analise things is the moment it ceases to be fun. Go with the flow, expect nothing and live you life."
good advice, thankyou for that.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny how the OP thanks some posters for their input and ignores others.
I thought manners cost nothing? "
You have kinda gone on at him to be fair. Same as him.... He doesn't have to reply to you.... So you should take your own "advice" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Another point I would make, is that you could have the best profile , the best photos and the best veri's but you still might not appeal to people.
One thing I notice, and it is not a criticism but purely an observation, is that you are bi curious. Some women just don't dig that. There could be several other reasons she might not 'dig' you and none of them you could change"
oh, I didn't know that was what was showing, i'll amend that, thankyou for pointing that out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Funny how the OP thanks some posters for their input and ignores others.
I thought manners cost nothing? "
I am thanking people if I feel its a reply worth thanking them for, however, I am replying to everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If this lady has not responded to your messages, it means that she is not interested in you. "
yes it seems that's how it works on here, im a bit old school with manners etc, maybe I need to change my thinking on that lol
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP but you are not entitled to anything on this site. You're not entitled to a Fab, a wink, a friend request acceptance, a message, a reply, a chat, a meet, a shag, a verification, or a remeet. Once you get that you'll enjoy your time here a lot better."
hmmm, as im new to this I guess ive got a lot to learn about how it all works and not take it so seriously.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no replythat is true and a good point, so a face pic with every 'firsttime' message would be the way to go?
- Don't have a whingey profile
- Accept that not all women on here will like you
- Effort in is proportionate to success
- Always send a face pic in the first message
- Never mention sex in the first message
- Make the first message prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have read their profile AND that you match what they want
- If you do not match then do not message
- Never send a cock pic unless asked forall good advice which im going to take onboard, thanks for your input.
You're welcome. Everything said here is to help not have a go btw."
all help is gratefully appreciated and as you can tell, needed, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If this lady has not responded to your messages, it means that she is not interested in you. yes it seems that's how it works on here, im a bit old school with manners etc, maybe I need to change my thinking on that lol"
I am too but having replied to people in the past with a polite no thanks and received abuse its really not worth it. Just move on my lovely. |
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"Funny how the OP thanks some posters for their input and ignores others.
I thought manners cost nothing? I am thanking people if I feel its a reply worth thanking them for, however, I am replying to everyone."
You haven't replied to me personally.
I'm not concerned by that in the slightest but it does illustrate how easy it is to lose track when receiving lots of messages. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Something else to take into account is that not all people will meet bi men.
But please don't hid your sexuality for that reason.
Some of us love them  "
thought id actually changed that but seems I haven't, will sort that as well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"yeah im gonna get rid of that bit, a profile revamp is definitely needed.
You'll be inundated soon "
well you never know, but on the advice of others here I wont get upset and stroppy if I don't, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I want banter and chemistry but at the end of the day looks are equally important. No face pic on initial contact = no reply
Does a bum pic count as a face pic
If your an arse yeah
Oh yes im a big arse "
I cant comment on that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Funny how the OP thanks some posters for their input and ignores others.
I thought manners cost nothing?
You have kinda gone on at him to be fair. Same as him.... He doesn't have to reply to you.... So you should take your own "advice""
not getting involved with this one lol, but thanks for siding with me, lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If this lady has not responded to your messages, it means that she is not interested in you. yes it seems that's how it works on here, im a bit old school with manners etc, maybe I need to change my thinking on that lol
I am too but having replied to people in the past with a polite no thanks and received abuse its really not worth it. Just move on my lovely. "
ahhh now abuse is definitely a no-no, that's where I can understand the not answering thing, if you politely decline someone and get an earful back then its no wonder people would sooner not reply at all, that's out of order and where I differ from some men, if I get a no then at least I know where I stand, so I see where your coming from that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Funny how the OP thanks some posters for their input and ignores others.
I thought manners cost nothing? I am thanking people if I feel its a reply worth thanking them for, however, I am replying to everyone.
You haven't replied to me personally.
I'm not concerned by that in the slightest but it does illustrate how easy it is to lose track when receiving lots of messages."
valid point, thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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WOW!!! didn't think I'd get this much response, thankyou so much to everyone for your input, im new to all of this so im learning the ropes, ive got some good advice which im going to take on board and hopefully improve things. And I have to say, nobody was nasty to me, the criticism was constructive and helpful, thankyou again everyone. |
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"You have kinda gone on at him to be fair. Same as him.... He doesn't have to reply to you.... So you should take your own "advice""
There's no point asking for profile advice and we all say "it's fine".
I was just making the point that he should stop the negativity.
I always do take my own advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No offence op but it's fairly obvious that she's just not interested. Her status/profile saying she wants to chat means to people she's interested in, if you've tried and she's ignored means it's time to move on.
Having someone on YOUR hotlist means you like them, they've no idea you've added them though and it certainly doesn't mean they'll be interested.
Good luck on here though. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have kinda gone on at him to be fair. Same as him.... He doesn't have to reply to you.... So you should take your own "advice"
There's no point asking for profile advice and we all say "it's fine".
I was just making the point that he should stop the negativity.
I always do take my own advice "
ive taken your advice on board, many thanks for your help, seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No offence op but it's fairly obvious that she's just not interested. Her status/profile saying she wants to chat means to people she's interested in, if you've tried and she's ignored means it's time to move on.
Having someone on YOUR hotlist means you like them, they've no idea you've added them though and it certainly doesn't mean they'll be interested.
Good luck on here though."
very true, and thankyou. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes I think some single men need to understand that Fab is not a charity. We all join Fab for our own enjoyment. We chat to people because we want to, we meet people because we want to. We don't do these things because we are nice and therefore want to give people a chance. I too expect to chat before considering a meet. But if something doesn't spark me, I don't feel it's fair to expect me to give someone a chance - that would not be enjoyable for me. Am I selfish? No I don't think so. The people I care about, would not describe me in that way. But I don't owe anything to someone I don't know just because they want to chat to me. And I don't expect men to give me a chance, just because I want a chance. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think some single men need to understand that Fab is not a charity. We all join Fab for our own enjoyment. We chat to people because we want to, we meet people because we want to. We don't do these things because we are nice and therefore want to give people a chance. I too expect to chat before considering a meet. But if something doesn't spark me, I don't feel it's fair to expect me to give someone a chance - that would not be enjoyable for me. Am I selfish? No I don't think so. The people I care about, would not describe me in that way. But I don't owe anything to someone I don't know just because they want to chat to me. And I don't expect men to give me a chance, just because I want a chance."
well im still learning about all this so I need to change my mindset, I understand what youre saying though, thanks for the input.
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"Sometimes I think some single men need to understand that Fab is not a charity. We all join Fab for our own enjoyment. We chat to people because we want to, we meet people because we want to. We don't do these things because we are nice and therefore want to give people a chance. I too expect to chat before considering a meet. But if something doesn't spark me, I don't feel it's fair to expect me to give someone a chance - that would not be enjoyable for me. Am I selfish? No I don't think so. The people I care about, would not describe me in that way. But I don't owe anything to someone I don't know just because they want to chat to me. And I don't expect men to give me a chance, just because I want a chance. well im still learning about all this so I need to change my mindset, I understand what youre saying though, thanks for the input."
I'd be interested to know what your expectations were when you joined. How did you imagine things worked? I'm asking out of curiosity not to find a way of shooting you down in flames. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think some single men need to understand that Fab is not a charity. We all join Fab for our own enjoyment. We chat to people because we want to, we meet people because we want to. We don't do these things because we are nice and therefore want to give people a chance. I too expect to chat before considering a meet. But if something doesn't spark me, I don't feel it's fair to expect me to give someone a chance - that would not be enjoyable for me. Am I selfish? No I don't think so. The people I care about, would not describe me in that way. But I don't owe anything to someone I don't know just because they want to chat to me. And I don't expect men to give me a chance, just because I want a chance. well im still learning about all this so I need to change my mindset, I understand what youre saying though, thanks for the input.
I'd be interested to know what your expectations were when you joined. How did you imagine things worked? I'm asking out of curiosity not to find a way of shooting you down in flames."
well I didn't realise there were so many people on here and what the male/female ratio was, I do now understand that women outnumber men hugely, I thought it would be a case of browse and select who you like and sparks your interest, contact them and take it from there, oh how wrong I was, lol. |
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"Sometimes I think some single men need to understand that Fab is not a charity. We all join Fab for our own enjoyment. We chat to people because we want to, we meet people because we want to. We don't do these things because we are nice and therefore want to give people a chance. I too expect to chat before considering a meet. But if something doesn't spark me, I don't feel it's fair to expect me to give someone a chance - that would not be enjoyable for me. Am I selfish? No I don't think so. The people I care about, would not describe me in that way. But I don't owe anything to someone I don't know just because they want to chat to me. And I don't expect men to give me a chance, just because I want a chance. well im still learning about all this so I need to change my mindset, I understand what youre saying though, thanks for the input.
I'd be interested to know what your expectations were when you joined. How did you imagine things worked? I'm asking out of curiosity not to find a way of shooting you down in flames. well I didn't realise there were so many people on here and what the male/female ratio was, I do now understand that women outnumber men hugely, I thought it would be a case of browse and select who you like and sparks your interest, contact them and take it from there, oh how wrong I was, lol."
you're not alone in thinking that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think some single men need to understand that Fab is not a charity. We all join Fab for our own enjoyment. We chat to people because we want to, we meet people because we want to. We don't do these things because we are nice and therefore want to give people a chance. I too expect to chat before considering a meet. But if something doesn't spark me, I don't feel it's fair to expect me to give someone a chance - that would not be enjoyable for me. Am I selfish? No I don't think so. The people I care about, would not describe me in that way. But I don't owe anything to someone I don't know just because they want to chat to me. And I don't expect men to give me a chance, just because I want a chance. well im still learning about all this so I need to change my mindset, I understand what youre saying though, thanks for the input.
I'd be interested to know what your expectations were when you joined. How did you imagine things worked? I'm asking out of curiosity not to find a way of shooting you down in flames. well I didn't realise there were so many people on here and what the male/female ratio was, I do now understand that women outnumber men hugely, I thought it would be a case of browse and select who you like and sparks your interest, contact them and take it from there, oh how wrong I was, lol."
Sort of like a catalogue of women to choose from |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn't mean she wants to chat to everyone on the site I'm afraid ... She prob gets lots of response and chooses who she wants to chat to ... No harm in that is there ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do think you should improve your profile though. Definitely more pictures. And say what you have to offer in addition to good manners. I would also be put off by a 40 year man who can't accommodate but has 'personal circumstances' - we prefer to stay away from complications. And are you seriously worried about attracting a woman with manky teeth and bad breath? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think some single men need to understand that Fab is not a charity. We all join Fab for our own enjoyment. We chat to people because we want to, we meet people because we want to. We don't do these things because we are nice and therefore want to give people a chance. I too expect to chat before considering a meet. But if something doesn't spark me, I don't feel it's fair to expect me to give someone a chance - that would not be enjoyable for me. Am I selfish? No I don't think so. The people I care about, would not describe me in that way. But I don't owe anything to someone I don't know just because they want to chat to me. And I don't expect men to give me a chance, just because I want a chance. well im still learning about all this so I need to change my mindset, I understand what youre saying though, thanks for the input.
I'd be interested to know what your expectations were when you joined. How did you imagine things worked? I'm asking out of curiosity not to find a way of shooting you down in flames. well I didn't realise there were so many people on here and what the male/female ratio was, I do now understand that women outnumber men hugely, I thought it would be a case of browse and select who you like and sparks your interest, contact them and take it from there, oh how wrong I was, lol.
Sort of like a catalogue of women to choose from "
now that's a good idea, lol. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't mean she wants to chat to everyone on the site I'm afraid ... She prob gets lots of response and chooses who she wants to chat to ... No harm in that is there ? "
at first I thought there was but on reflection and with gentle nudging from people here ive realised my expectations were too high, live and learn as they say.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do think you should improve your profile though. Definitely more pictures. And say what you have to offer in addition to good manners. I would also be put off by a 40 year man who can't accommodate but has 'personal circumstances' - we prefer to stay away from complications. And are you seriously worried about attracting a woman with manky teeth and bad breath?"
good point, a bit of clarification is definitely needed there, and yes I am worried about that kind of person, its a pet hate of mine, we all have them and that is one of mine im afraid, I cant change that. it may seem a bit odd to some but its no different to a woman only wanting guys who aren't bald, for example. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do think you should improve your profile though. Definitely more pictures. And say what you have to offer in addition to good manners. I would also be put off by a 40 year man who can't accommodate but has 'personal circumstances' - we prefer to stay away from complications. And are you seriously worried about attracting a woman with manky teeth and bad breath? good point, a bit of clarification is definitely needed there, and yes I am worried about that kind of person, its a pet hate of mine, we all have them and that is one of mine im afraid, I cant change that. it may seem a bit odd to some but its no different to a woman only wanting guys who aren't bald, for example. "
Lol maybe I'm naive. I'd like to think matters of hygiene go without saying, but maybe there people on here with no clue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys and girls, need some advice as im confused. Someone on my hotlist wants to get to know people with fun and 'banterous' chat with the physical connection following. However, having messaged her a couple of times she has ignored me flat, now I know I don't have a face pic but my profile isn't that bad, so how can someone want chat first before physical but wont even bother giving me a chance to prove myself? Any thoughts people?"
he's shot his load lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She doesn't want to chat to you.
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for guess so, I know im not going to be everyones cup of tea, but when this person wants chat first (as do I) then that's what I find confusing."
She probably is chatting first. To a shed load of guys she likes the look of.
Neither your profile or your messages caught her eye so take her off your hotlist and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I do think you should improve your profile though. Definitely more pictures. And say what you have to offer in addition to good manners. I would also be put off by a 40 year man who can't accommodate but has 'personal circumstances' - we prefer to stay away from complications. And are you seriously worried about attracting a woman with manky teeth and bad breath? good point, a bit of clarification is definitely needed there, and yes I am worried about that kind of person, its a pet hate of mine, we all have them and that is one of mine im afraid, I cant change that. it may seem a bit odd to some but its no different to a woman only wanting guys who aren't bald, for example.
Lol maybe I'm naive. I'd like to think matters of hygiene go without saying, but maybe there people on here with no clue."
unfortunately there are people who neglect such things, yes it does seem common sense to many but theres those who don't possess such things. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's not a woman. And I'm not joking 
Read the above... And then move on!"
ive read everything that's been posted here and have taken all the advice on board, have given myself a good talking to and a dam good thwacking for good measure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"She doesn't want to chat to you.
Just because you have her on ypur hotlist doesn't mean to say she has you on hers. You're obviously not what she's looking for guess so, I know im not going to be everyones cup of tea, but when this person wants chat first (as do I) then that's what I find confusing.
She probably is chatting first. To a shed load of guys she likes the look of.
Neither your profile or your messages caught her eye so take her off your hotlist and move on. "
yes ive realised its all about standing out from the masses and 'selling' myself so the profile will keep getting tweaked and new pics will follow. |
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