FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Wife's backed out?
Wife's backed out?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Would you seriously contemplate leaving your wife for a fantasy?"
Not just for that reason, although I feel like it's something I want to experience. Since she changed her mind sex hadn't been as exciting and she doesn't seem as interested. We've always known we're very different sexually as I am open to new things and she is quite vanilla, not keen on trying new things or toys, doesn't have any fantasies of her own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe she does have her fantasies but because they are just that she doesn't want to share them as she wants to keep it that way, and you would want it to be reality?
Obviously the choice is up to you, however the reality is, she has said no and that should mean no. What comes after that no one but you and your wife can decide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? "
maybe just maybe she loves you and doesn't want to share its quite common  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
You must have known when you got together that your sex drives were not similar. Why is it so important now to change her? Perhaps she got a whiff of that and assumed by changing she would lose you.
People (not just women) will change when they want to. Push them too hard and they could just assume you no longer like them the way they are. |
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"Would you seriously contemplate leaving your wife for a fantasy?
Not just for that reason, although I feel like it's something I want to experience. Since she changed her mind sex hadn't been as exciting and she doesn't seem as interested. We've always known we're very different sexually as I am open to new things and she is quite vanilla, not keen on trying new things or toys, doesn't have any fantasies of her own."
She will have fantasies of her own, but obviously wont share them with you. I think you guys need to sit down and talk about it .... properly, as it seems communication is missing and perhaps trust. If she doesn't want another man, then its your fantasy, not hers. It can't be all about you as its a relationship ... not just about you. Good luck, op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? "
maybe she thought that you letting her get on with it was your way of opening the door to eventual separation...
maybe she has a million thoughts like this going round in her head...
maybe you should talk to her about it before taking advice from a bunch of strangers who have no reason, or compunction to want to help you anyway...
just maybe...you might get to the bottom of it and still be in a relationship at the end of it all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? "
Sure. I used to be monogamous and I told my partner I was into kink. He said he was really up for it, then a few months into the relationship he decided that he really wasn't.
I decided that I really wanted kink in my life, and I wanted kink more than I wanted him.
Then I left him, because it was the right thing to do. |
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Sex is not everything in a relationship. Marraige is a serious matter. She has said no to mmf, you need to respect that. Being on here as a single male without her knowing is simply a bad move,in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do?
Sure. I used to be monogamous and I told my partner I was into kink. He said he was really up for it, then a few months into the relationship he decided that he really wasn't.
I decided that I really wanted kink in my life, and I wanted kink more than I wanted him.
Then I left him, because it was the right thing to do."
I had the same situation as the above with a girlfriend and it was better to end it as I didn't want a monogamous relationship for the rest of my life.
The difference is that you made the commitment to your wife on the basis of monogamy.
If children are involved then I would say that you made your bed so you should sleep in it. But really you should just have a very open, very tactful conversation with her. Or jack off more often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex is not everything in a relationship. Marraige is a serious matter. She has said no to mmf, you need to respect that. Being on here as a single male without her knowing is simply a bad move,in my opinion."
It's not everything but it is, statically speaking, the best single indicator of marital success. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the replies guys. I know we need to have a serious sit down and discuss the way forward from this. I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past and things had worked out differently.
To set the record straight yes I'm on here as a single, but I don't talk to anyone and don't have any interest in meeting anyone by myself. Any meets would have to involve my other half to interest me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the replies guys. I know we need to have a serious sit down and discuss the way forward from this. I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past and things had worked out differently.
To set the record straight yes I'm on here as a single, but I don't talk to anyone and don't have any interest in meeting anyone by myself. Any meets would have to involve my other half to interest me."
"I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past" - yes
"and things had worked out differently." - no
Sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? "
maybe you should start with a soft meet instead off full sex,
have a guy watch you both, or just some light foreply,
or take her to a club where she can see how things work without any pressure to play with other |
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do?
maybe you should start with a soft meet instead off full sex,
have a guy watch you both, or just some light foreply,
or take her to a club where she can see how things work without any pressure to play with other"
This! There is lots of other options. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If children are involved then I would say that you made your bed so you should sleep in it. But really you should just have a very open, very tactful conversation with her. Or jack off more often. "
Actually I would suggest that if children are involved you work out *very quickly* what you want, and you *don't* just stay for their sake. I lived in a house where my parents tried to stay together for my sake, and fifteen years later I'm really just sorting my life out from that (and finishing university...). |
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By *hessycplCouple
over a year ago
Chesterfield |
"Thanks for the replies guys. I know we need to have a serious sit down and discuss the way forward from this. I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past and things had worked out differently.
To set the record straight yes I'm on here as a single, but I don't talk to anyone and don't have any interest in meeting anyone by myself. Any meets would have to involve my other half to interest me."
Had similar, but we did swing for a while, then had a break, then did it again, and she has currently gone off it completely. That I fully respect and thats why our profile is hidden. I haven't gone off looking elsewhere mainly for the same reason as you, in that I get the enjoyment from seeing her with others.
Occasionally I mention trying it again and at the minute its a no, so thats that. I respect her descision and we still have a good sex life (better if I wasn't working away so much  ) But we talked and still talk about it, its the only way you'll ever find out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If children are involved then I would say that you made your bed so you should sleep in it. But really you should just have a very open, very tactful conversation with her. Or jack off more often.
Actually I would suggest that if children are involved you work out *very quickly* what you want, and you *don't* just stay for their sake. I lived in a house where my parents tried to stay together for my sake, and fifteen years later I'm really just sorting my life out from that (and finishing university...)."
I don't think the choice is between staying and being a poor husband or leaving.
I'm saying that if you make certain commitments then you man-up to them, even if your penis tries to convince you otherwise. Look how it turned out for Henry VIII...
Its my opinion and nobody has to agree with it. I understand that personal responsibility is never going to be a popular message. |
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"Thanks for the replies guys. I know we need to have a serious sit down and discuss the way forward from this. I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past and things had worked out differently.
To set the record straight yes I'm on here as a single, but I don't talk to anyone and don't have any interest in meeting anyone by myself. Any meets would have to involve my other half to interest me."
Why not just go to a club together with you plans to do anything and just see how you both feel. We were very uncertain about letting someone else into such an intimate part of our life, but discovered we were more comfortable taking it slow and as we see it 'in the bubble' of a club. Good luck, best thing to do is talk about ti and go from there. |
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"Thanks for the replies guys. I know we need to have a serious sit down and discuss the way forward from this. I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past and things had worked out differently.
To set the record straight yes I'm on here as a single, but I don't talk to anyone and don't have any interest in meeting anyone by myself. Any meets would have to involve my other half to interest me.
Why not just go to a club together with you plans to do anything and just see how you both feel. We were very uncertain about letting someone else into such an intimate part of our life, but discovered we were more comfortable taking it slow and as we see it 'in the bubble' of a club. Good luck, best thing to do is talk about ti and go from there. "
No plans!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally and it's only an opinion nothing more. you should respect your wife's wishes or else she might just decide to leave
You shouldn't push her into something that she's not happy with it could lead to her being forced to do something against her will and I think its wrong but that's only my opinion.good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk to her about it, I don't think anyone should talk openly about there relationships on here if she's not aware that ur discussing her life with strangers then it's not right
But that's my opinion
Chat to her x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to swing with my ex but it took us 2 years to go from club socials to full swap. Start slow. Good luck. BTW she emigrated for family reasons so the swinging never broke us up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm failing to see the reason for the hatred against the OP. He asked a valid question, have any wives lost and subsequently rediscovered their interest in swinging.
He was also brutality honest admitting that, having had a glimpse of the fun other married couples have, he's questioning the future of his marriage.
Sure, there are couples who meet their ideal partner first time and stay together forever. The rest of us go through a number of relationships/marriages before finding that person. No, sex isn't everything in a normal, healthy relationship but it can consume unhealthy relationships.
If you want creepy, check out the "How do I make my wife do xxxxx" posts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Monogamy is the way of the civilised world husband /wife or partner have children happy ever after but for us sluts me included variety is the spice of life ,single people can do this successfully couples can't and it would seem your wife/partner loves having sex with you and fantasising about others but that's as far as she wants to go  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some fantasies should remain just that maybe"
Why should they have to remain just that? If you have things you really, really, really want to try, then perhaps it's the person you're with that is incompatible rather than the fantasy. Not everyone is quite right for everyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Perhaps question if something has changed.. Maybe she doesn't feel very sexy.
I would be more concerned that your own sex has gone a little flat is more of a worry.. Of she wants a mmf it will happen but sort out you two 1 St.. May be try and be romantic..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some fantasies should remain just that maybe
Why should they have to remain just that? If you have things you really, really, really want to try, then perhaps it's the person you're with that is incompatible rather than the fantasy. Not everyone is quite right for everyone else."
Because clearly the wife doesnt really really want to try it. She just like the fantasy not the reality.
And in his case he really really does want the fantasy but it involves someone who doesnt want to do it so he cant force her so it will have to stay a fantasy... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some fantasies should remain just that maybe
Why should they have to remain just that? If you have things you really, really, really want to try, then perhaps it's the person you're with that is incompatible rather than the fantasy. Not everyone is quite right for everyone else.
Because clearly the wife doesnt really really want to try it. She just like the fantasy not the reality.
And in his case he really really does want the fantasy but it involves someone who doesnt want to do it so he cant force her so it will have to stay a fantasy..."
I think the point Wasp hunter was making is why should HIS fantasies remain fantasies, if he really wants it more than his marriage then maybe his wife isnt the right person for him.
It's not an ideal situation, and of course the best way would be for him to realise the love for his wife outways his fantasies, but if he decides it doesn't it would br better for him to leave now, and better for his wife too in the long run, after all who want to be with someone who doesnt feel enough for them to put them first?!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some fantasies should remain just that maybe
Why should they have to remain just that? If you have things you really, really, really want to try, then perhaps it's the person you're with that is incompatible rather than the fantasy. Not everyone is quite right for everyone else.
Because clearly the wife doesnt really really want to try it. She just like the fantasy not the reality.
And in his case he really really does want the fantasy but it involves someone who doesnt want to do it so he cant force her so it will have to stay a fantasy..."
My point was, if it's important to him then he can leave his partner.
Not that he should force someone into doing something against their will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some fantasies should remain just that maybe
Why should they have to remain just that? If you have things you really, really, really want to try, then perhaps it's the person you're with that is incompatible rather than the fantasy. Not everyone is quite right for everyone else."
because it was his fantasy with his wife and she doesnt want it - |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? "
Please don't leave your wife for this reason . If you love her and care for her, stay with her . Be honest and up front . Let her love you and you her xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to be a lot of judgement on here but then people always do have strong views about marriage. Personally I'd suggest you need to make up your mind about whether you can live what you will likely perceive to be a unfulfilled life. Then, if you make the decision that it would be worth leaving to pursue a lifestyle you feel would be more fulfilling just go. Make it quick. Otherwise, assuming this is that important to you, you'll end up resenting and that will poison the marriage. She has made her position clear, you cannot expect her to change that. The worst thing you could do though would be to give an ultimatum. Likewise if you do leave and she suddenly capitulates it isn't fair to take her up on the offer at that point. You need to decide whether to put up or shut up I'm afraid. If you decide to stay delete this profile and forget about anything like that ever happening and working on creating as much happiness as you can inside your marriage. |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? "
Give up fab, swinging and focus on your wife/marriage before she loses focus  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do? maybe just maybe she loves you and doesn't want to share its quite common "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You must have known when you got together that your sex drives were not similar. Why is it so important now to change her? Perhaps she got a whiff of that and assumed by changing she would lose you.
People (not just women) will change when they want to. Push them too hard and they could just assume you no longer like them the way they are."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the replies guys. I know we need to have a serious sit down and discuss the way forward from this. I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past and things had worked out differently.
To set the record straight yes I'm on here as a single, but I don't talk to anyone and don't have any interest in meeting anyone by myself. Any meets would have to involve my other half to interest me."
Bollocks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally and it's only an opinion nothing more. you should respect your wife's wishes or else she might just decide to leave
You shouldn't push her into something that she's not happy with it could lead to her being forced to do something against her will and I think its wrong but that's only my opinion.good luck"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi,hoping this isn't a repeated post. Basically me and my wife have been together 10 years, married 4. For the last 3 years I've had a really strong desire to share her in a MMF and see her getting lots of attention and pleasure. I brought it up during sex now and again and sometimes we'd fantasise using dildos. We then joined this site at the back end of last year and found a guy she liked the look of. I let her take charge of everything and she seemed to enjoy the attention with swapping pictures and naughty messages with him.
She then just decided from no where that she didn't want to do this kind of thing and never will. Over the last few months I've been trying to figure out if I can live a vanilla happily or if I only want this now after seeing everyone else's fun on here and getting so close. My question is have any of you women/wife's been through this and changed your minds down the line? Or is that it for my fantasy hopes with her and I have some serious thinking to do?
Give up fab, swinging and focus on your wife/marriage before she loses focus "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hear hear, got to agree with you there.
"some fantasies should remain just that maybe
Why should they have to remain just that? If you have things you really, really, really want to try, then perhaps it's the person you're with that is incompatible rather than the fantasy. Not everyone is quite right for everyone else.
Because clearly the wife doesnt really really want to try it. She just like the fantasy not the reality.
And in his case he really really does want the fantasy but it involves someone who doesnt want to do it so he cant force her so it will have to stay a fantasy...
My point was, if it's important to him then he can leave his partner.
Not that he should force someone into doing something against their will."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the replies guys. I know we need to have a serious sit down and discuss the way forward from this. I was just curious if anyone else had been in a similar situation in the past and things had worked out differently.
To set the record straight yes I'm on here as a single, but I don't talk to anyone and don't have any interest in meeting anyone by myself. Any meets would have to involve my other half to interest me.
Bollocks"
hey it's balls so ballocks and you're right he had a profile on here but he didn't talk to anyone ,he's a watcher or was  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Op says after she startedmessaging and speaking to this guy she became disinterested in sex and refused point blank to meet him..maybe she already did on her own it happens but on the other hand maybe she thought she could do it but then thought how little does he care hed be ok with me being fucked by another guy..you need to ket her know that its because you care so much you could let her be fucked by someone else and still see her the same way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wonder how supportive people would he being if Op was a woman and how many people would be telling her she deserves to be satisfied rather than half of you basically just judging him for having one of the most common marital problems in the world (sex related problems) and the other half posting passive aggressive "advice". There is literally maybe 5 people actually posting constructive comments. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man"
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy?"
love maybe !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe ! "
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression."
depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated "
With some couples that might be true but that's not true for ALL couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
With some couples that might be true but that's not true for ALL couples."
maybe it wasn't true love then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated "
Your comment is as dumb as saying 'love can fix a broken leg' or 'love can cure cancer'.
Love can't fix illness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
Your comment is as dumb as saying 'love can fix a broken leg' or 'love can cure cancer'.
Love can't fix illness."
" dumb" hey its based on experience but you get ill if you don't have sex in a loving relationship ? Or you are ill? |
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This situation is also the same for me.
We had socials, visited clubs (played on our own in clubs). We were on here as a couple also. However one day she said she didn't want to do it anymore.
5 years later she hasn't changed her mind, we play around with it in bed as a fantasy, she always picks 2 men 1 woman porn aswell. So there is a fantasy tucked away in her mind.
However, she decided that I should play (occasionally) on my own. She said that I shouldn't stop just because she didn't want to. Without going in to the ins and outs of why, it has worked for us.
I'm still hopeful that one day she might like to try again but I won't push her. She has said that she might go to a club with me again at some point so maybe those small steps may work.
I love my wife and would not leave her over her not wanting to fulfil any fantasies. I'm grateful that she's open minded enough to understand that my naughty times will not effect what we have at home.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
Your comment is as dumb as saying 'love can fix a broken leg' or 'love can cure cancer'.
Love can't fix illness. " dumb" hey its based on experience but you get ill if you don't have sex in a loving relationship ? Or you are ill? "
A lack of fulfilling sex can be something that can drive people to things like depression. If two people have differences in sexual tastes then that can be a problem. It's not something that can always be solved by 'love' - and nor should it have to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
Your comment is as dumb as saying 'love can fix a broken leg' or 'love can cure cancer'.
Love can't fix illness. " dumb" hey its based on experience but you get ill if you don't have sex in a loving relationship ? Or you are ill?
A lack of fulfilling sex can be something that can drive people to things like depression. If two people have differences in sexual tastes then that can be a problem. It's not something that can always be solved by 'love' - and nor should it have to be."
I can live without sex I like to think I can't love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
Your comment is as dumb as saying 'love can fix a broken leg' or 'love can cure cancer'.
Love can't fix illness. " dumb" hey its based on experience but you get ill if you don't have sex in a loving relationship ? Or you are ill?
A lack of fulfilling sex can be something that can drive people to things like depression. If two people have differences in sexual tastes then that can be a problem. It's not something that can always be solved by 'love' - and nor should it have to be. I can live without sex I like to think I can't love "
Not everyone is the same. I couldn't live without a fulfilling sex life. I would probably try to wipe myself off the face of the planet if I was in a relationship where 'have sex with others' wasn't an option, and I couldn't leave the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
Your comment is as dumb as saying 'love can fix a broken leg' or 'love can cure cancer'.
Love can't fix illness. " dumb" hey its based on experience but you get ill if you don't have sex in a loving relationship ? Or you are ill?
A lack of fulfilling sex can be something that can drive people to things like depression. If two people have differences in sexual tastes then that can be a problem. It's not something that can always be solved by 'love' - and nor should it have to be. I can live without sex I like to think I can't love
Not everyone is the same. I couldn't live without a fulfilling sex life. I would probably try to wipe myself off the face of the planet if I was in a relationship where 'have sex with others' wasn't an option, and I couldn't leave the relationship."
exactly not everyone is the same the great majority of people need love sex comes second , sex on fab is an addiction that once it's fed requires more ,I love sex but it doesn't define me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
With some couples that might be true but that's not true for ALL couples. maybe it wasn't true love then "
I think someone has watched one too many Disney films... there's not even a commonly agreed definition of 'love' ffs.
In my experience, the people that profess it the loudest are the same ones you see divorced after 3 years. I can actually define exactly what makes our marriage work without resorting to wishy washy words:
- we tell each other exactly how we feel, about anything
- we respect each other and make time for each other
- we do nice things for each other
- we fuck
In the words of Tina Turner "what's love got to do with it?" |
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A few years ago I was in a relationship with a guy who was a virgin when we met. We had unsuccessful sex once at the beginning, and any other time I tried to initiate things I was rebuffed with "I'm too tired". Eventually I stopped trying.
The problem was that we were great friends in every other respect, it was just the physical side he had issues with. Had we lived closer and saw each other more I think the relationship would have ended sooner than it did, because eventually there was no physical affection from him at all. The furthest he would go was holding my hand in public.
I think for me I could probably live without the sex, or just very little sex, but the lack of physical affection really knocked my confidence and for a long time I felt like the problem was me when really it was him.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
With some couples that might be true but that's not true for ALL couples. maybe it wasn't true love then
I think someone has watched one too many Disney films... there's not even a commonly agreed definition of 'love' ffs.
In my experience, the people that profess it the loudest are the same ones you see divorced after 3 years. I can actually define exactly what makes our marriage work without resorting to wishy washy words:
- we tell each other exactly how we feel, about anything
- we respect each other and make time for each other
- we do nice things for each other
- we fuck
In the words of Tina Turner "what's love got to do with it?" "
yes but would you fuck Tina turner  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
With some couples that might be true but that's not true for ALL couples. maybe it wasn't true love then
I think someone has watched one too many Disney films... there's not even a commonly agreed definition of 'love' ffs.
In my experience, the people that profess it the loudest are the same ones you see divorced after 3 years. I can actually define exactly what makes our marriage work without resorting to wishy washy words:
- we tell each other exactly how we feel, about anything
- we respect each other and make time for each other
- we do nice things for each other
- we fuck
In the words of Tina Turner "what's love got to do with it?" "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
With some couples that might be true but that's not true for ALL couples. maybe it wasn't true love then
I think someone has watched one too many Disney films... there's not even a commonly agreed definition of 'love' ffs.
In my experience, the people that profess it the loudest are the same ones you see divorced after 3 years. I can actually define exactly what makes our marriage work without resorting to wishy washy words:
- we tell each other exactly how we feel, about anything
- we respect each other and make time for each other
- we do nice things for each other
- we fuck
In the words of Tina Turner "what's love got to do with it?" yes but would you fuck Tina turner "
There aren't many sensible reasons for a guy to turn down sex with a woman and Tina doesn't seem to have any of them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We all have fantisies but I dont think anyone on this would agree to leaving ur wife because she wouldnt join in thats wrong man
I would.
If people are sexually incompatible then that might be too problematic for them to stay together.
I have left partners in the past because we were sexually incompatible. I wouldn't have been happy, so why would I stay in a relationship that made me actively unhappy? love maybe !
*Shrugs*
Love doesn't fix unhappiness and depression. depression and unhappiness are the person in the same way that stress is ,the saying is ' love conquers all ' I believe if you are truly loved by another the need for physical things is dissipated
With some couples that might be true but that's not true for ALL couples. maybe it wasn't true love then
I think someone has watched one too many Disney films... there's not even a commonly agreed definition of 'love' ffs.
In my experience, the people that profess it the loudest are the same ones you see divorced after 3 years. I can actually define exactly what makes our marriage work without resorting to wishy washy words:
- we tell each other exactly how we feel, about anything
- we respect each other and make time for each other
- we do nice things for each other
- we fuck
In the words of Tina Turner "what's love got to do with it?" yes but would you fuck Tina turner
There aren't many sensible reasons for a guy to turn down sex with a woman and Tina doesn't seem to have any of them... "
hey ' Tina' not for me sorry nutbush city limits |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You wouldn't think this site was for swingers the way some people conduct themselves to others..
I love this site and we love swinging but this forum area can be very brutal for just the simplest of questions..
He's not forcing his wife. And asking how to convince his wife he's asking if people have changed their minds.
To the OP..
My partner was unsure and after talking and having one meet was even more unsure.. But after going to a club (social only and private sex) she loved it and we both enjoy ourselves.
Any one would think this website was for newlyweds with no adventures in their sex... |
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