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orgasm ? yes please !
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey guys,
I'm pulling my hair out (EM that is, Dick is already bald lol ) ~I'm really struggling to reach orgasm not only on meets but when its just the two of us 
I think, well i know i have become too dependent on toys, even more so since i got my wand over 3 months ago.... I haven't come without it since and even that isn't quite doing it for me anymore. I've decided today to put a ban on toys and go back to basics, relax and enjoy the whole experience and not focus on the big O.
We tried earlier and apart from getting interrupted so having to stop anyway  i just knew it wasn't going to happen (not a good frame of mind to be in , i know! )
Has anyone else experienced this? and more to the point have you overcome it and how ? I'm getting increasingly frustrated
Em xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i had errection problems a few years back , it started as i was too often not really horny so just did it to please others , then it got to being a guilt trip as i wasnt pleasing the wife , so overall it was my mind doing it rather than body , try changing situations completely so as you said back to basics , one lover only full on foreplay then dont try to cum finish the partner off so no pressure there ,just stop for a break , when you start again you get a bit , relived that your bit is done and can then enjoy it , mmmm not sure if it will work but try ,
ohhh i do aromatherapy massages if you want one , i am near bristol at the weekend , xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well goodxtimes , i just checked your profile i wanted to message you there but cant , so just wanted to say WOW wicked eyes , love the way the makeup is done , xx |
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Its all in the tease.
The largest sex organ is your brain, so something different, role play, stripping games, sploshing, food games, forfeits..... build yourself into a furore of sexual excitement. Then get down to it.
Works for most of my partners!
Thats what some of my verifications mean by imaginative.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the past I have found that oral is a a good way to get things kicking again.
Of course it depends on the individual, some women tend to come easier from clitoral stimulation, and other more so from penetrative sex.
Do you fall into one of these groups ?
Prolonged oral worked really well on an ex of mine who sometimes found it hard to go over the edge.
I think the thing that worked best though was me teasing her for ages. Licking her and sucking on her clit for a long time, I'm talking ages... hours if you have the time and the inclination.
But just when it starts to get really good.. stop. Tease her. Back off for a minute then go again.
After a good while this always seemed to work wonders :P
Again, cant guarantee this would would for everyone, as every girl is different right. Just saying I have had good results with this game 
Let us know how you get on.
X Debaser |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Debaser, thanks for your input...but oral does nothing for me, I like it, it turns me on, but sensation wise nothing !
Clitoral stimulation used to be the way to make me come, although I have wonderful orgasmic sensations from fingers hard inside me and intercourse...they are not mind blowing, sense of satisfaction orgasms.
x |
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I think it is over use of toys thats stopping you cumming-- i used to cum far more easily than i do now and i blame toys lol.
I find a finger up the bum tips me over the edge ; ) and like the other posters say - have edgier sex - role play, dressing to tease, hot candle wax
blindfolds etc
Have fun experimenting x |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Drink is a big no go for me when it come's to orgasm, as find it really de-sensitises me, but I find oral a really great way to cum as sometimes I do find it difficult also, it's not the bee all and end but is a bonus......will admit one time (and this is with a drink) oral was fantasic when it was more forceful....don't know if this is for you though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So an Orgasm is something that really does happen ?
Im beginning to think its a fantasy only women in books get "
No it really does happen .... just gotta be with a guy who knows what he's doing   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi Em,
Sometimes you don't relize but other issues in your life could sub-conciously be effecting you, or maybe not. However relaxtion therapy could be an alternative method to helping and eventually enabling you to fully orgasm again.
Ken x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I find a finger up the bum tips me over the edge ; ) that sometimes works for me too bb...but i always protest lol
Ken, yes there are other factors that are contributing for sure...very high stress levels of late for one, i don't understand how it has decreased the physical sensitivity though
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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might sound silly but maybe a break from sex, just lots of flirting touching etc for a week or so, it maybe your just orgasmed out for a bit and need to recapture the lust |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can read these posts all you like about put a finger here, use this position there. But what you need to understand is how powerful the magic wand is. The clitoris is the most sensitive part of your body and you are hammering it constantly so the nerves in there will become de sensitized. Then because you aren't getting the physical stimulation the mental block begins along with the frustration.
I had this a couple of years ago. I couldn't come without toys so much so that I wouldn't even try to use my fingers (if I'm honest I wouldn't even touch myself). I put all my toys in a box out the way and almost re trained myself to masturbate, the way a teenager would. I went a couple of weeks with nothing, then one evening found my hand down there. My toys have stayed away and now I've learnt about my body again. Feels great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the past I have found that oral is a a good way to get things kicking again.
Of course it depends on the individual, some women tend to come easier from clitoral stimulation, and other more so from penetrative sex.
Do you fall into one of these groups ?
Prolonged oral worked really well on an ex of mine who sometimes found it hard to go over the edge.
I think the thing that worked best though was me teasing her for ages. Licking her and sucking on her clit for a long time, I'm talking ages... hours if you have the time and the inclination.
But just when it starts to get really good.. stop. Tease her. Back off for a minute then go again.
After a good while this always seemed to work wonders :P
Again, cant guarantee this would would for everyone, as every girl is different right. Just saying I have had good results with this game
Let us know how you get on.
X Debaser"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In the past I have found that oral is a a good way to get things kicking again.
Of course it depends on the individual, some women tend to come easier from clitoral stimulation, and other more so from penetrative sex.
Do you fall into one of these groups ?
I think u may b able to teach guys a thing or too...completely agree re the clitoral orgasm
Prolonged oral worked really well on an ex of mine who sometimes found it hard to go over the edge.
I think the thing that worked best though was me teasing her for ages. Licking her and sucking on her clit for a long time, I'm talking ages... hours if you have the time and the inclination.
But just when it starts to get really good.. stop. Tease her. Back off for a minute then go again.
After a good while this always seemed to work wonders :P
Again, cant guarantee this would would for everyone, as every girl is different right. Just saying I have had good results with this game
Let us know how you get on.
X Debaser"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From my own experience and the ladies I've chatted to over the years, not being able to orgasm on meets is very common, as is being unable to orgasm through sex generally. Toys do de-sensitise the clitoris and if over-used can make it very difficult for the more gentle feeling of tongue or fingers to do the trick.
I have dificulty cumming through sex or from use of toys even with my regular partner but give me a bit of good erotic fiction to stimulate my mind and I can cum fairly easily using my fingers.
Using a Vielle finger sleeve with a little of the tingling gel can also help.
Every women is different and all sorts of things can affect our ability to cum - men do seem to have it easier but I daresay there are lots of guys that will dispute it.
By the way guys, sorry to tell you this but over long stimulation of the clitoris from oral sex is more likely to give most of us cystitis rather than an orgasm. Most women I know will fake an orgasm rather than have the guy go on too long!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys,
I'm pulling my hair out (EM that is, Dick is already bald lol ) ~I'm really struggling to reach orgasm not only on meets but when its just the two of us
I think, well i know i have become too dependent on toys, even more so since i got my wand over 3 months ago.... I haven't come without it since and even that isn't quite doing it for me anymore. I've decided today to put a ban on toys and go back to basics, relax and enjoy the whole experience and not focus on the big O.
We tried earlier and apart from getting interrupted so having to stop anyway i just knew it wasn't going to happen (not a good frame of mind to be in , i know! )
Has anyone else experienced this? and more to the point have you overcome it and how ? I'm getting increasingly frustrated
Em xxx"
This is quite a common problem and is caused by conditioning. You have allowed yourself to achieve orgasm by a preferred way and you're subconsciously not allowing yourself to come any other way. This sub-conscious thinking has crossed over to include the preferred method of reaching a climax so now you are expecting not to get there and as a result won't find it easy to come.
Your approach of ditching the toys is one way to do it but if you practiced cognitive thinking you will retrain yourself to achieve an orgasm in any position or by any method. So you have to think I can come any way I like and visualise achieving that orgasm. If you feel yourself becoming frustrated then take time out and think sexy thoughts or back to times when you had very powerful orgasms and recreate this in your mind.
If you used to come easily on top then switched to another preferred position to come then you know you are orgasmic in other ways so if you keep blocking out the negative thoughts and enhance the positive sexy thoughts you will retrain your brain. Don't blame the toys for insensitivity in your clit perhaps vary the toys too or perhaps hold it yourself while your partner penetrates so you can control the pressure and pleasure of the clitoral stimulation while he sees to your penetrative sensations. You're right about relaxing getting uptight causes a vicious circle of frustration.
Best of luck xxxxx |
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