FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Men's fears of other naked men.
Men's fears of other naked men.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Like a few ladies on here I like to enjoy more than one guy at a time. I am always clear in this when I initially chat with guys so expect them to make a judgement on if that is their thing.
Sadly it seems male bravado or something usually makes them say an enthusiastic "YES" to a MMFM when they know they have issues about being naked infront of other men and especially physical contact. Even when it is clear there is no bi play.
Guys, it would help amazingly if you read profiles and were honest about your limits. Please don't say yes when you know you will chicken out at the last minute.
Ladies and couples; is that fair?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is certainly unfair.... A lot of men think they will be ok and then when the time comes they can't do it... I have been in a mmf and the other guy was clearly not comfortable with how close we got no bi play but in the heat of the moment we were close and it ruined everyone's time as he then turned round said can't do this got up got dressed and pretty much run out lol me and the female still had fun that day  |
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My introduction to swinging was via MMF threesomes with my wife so I have never understood why guys can be so weird about being naked in front of other guys.
The other guy we played with was 100% straight but he was fine if there was a little accidental contact between us. I really don't understand what the problem is....get 2,3,4 guys pleasuring a lady and there's bound to be a little contact, even if it is incidental. So what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is funny Iv being in that situation also were contact has being made in the heat of the moment and the other guy just couldn't carry on.
It just doesn't bother me but as you say why put your self in that position if you don't feel comfortable.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is certainly unfair.... A lot of men think they will be ok and then when the time comes they can't do it... I have been in a mmf and the other guy was clearly not comfortable with how close we got no bi play but in the heat of the moment we were close and it ruined everyone's time as he then turned round said can't do this got up got dressed and pretty much run out lol me and the female still had fun that day "
Wonder if it was the same guy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like a few ladies on here I like to enjoy more than one guy at a time. I am always clear in this when I initially chat with guys so expect them to make a judgement on if that is their thing.
Sadly it seems male bravado or something usually makes them say an enthusiastic "YES" to a MMFM when they know they have issues about being naked infront of other men and especially physical contact. Even when it is clear there is no bi play.
Guys, it would help amazingly if you read profiles and were honest about your limits. Please don't say yes when you know you will chicken out at the last minute.
Ladies and couples; is that fair?
"
Completely fair (assuming I'm allowed to agree, as a 'single male') |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absofuckinlutley.
In our newbie days we met a couple of guys were clearly not happy to 'cross swords' but being comfortable is all part of a decent Mmf.
We double and triple check these days. We won't meet guys who appear to be concern they might start buying scatter cushions and calling people darhling if they touch another cock! |
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With regard to play with the other male(s) I would only indulge if it was explicitly stated that they wanted to. I am not exactly bi myself so I do understand guys might be freaked out if some unexpected bi play happened. Everyone has to give consent to whatever happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guys may well be up for it, till it comes to it... Even women bottle it sometimes .... If its a guys first time then expect nerves.
I remember a guy that joined us on his first gang bang. Was 10 guy's I think and 2 girls. He was so nervous he arrived really early ( which actually scuppered our pre gb fun ) but we chatted to him and relaxed him. He did great on the day. We still bump into him from time to time but says his first experience was no pressure x |
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The issue is that we wish people would be open honest and upfront about what they are , what they want and what are their limits and not change their story from profile to message and from message to message in an attempt to get a meet and impose what they wish upon the meet .
If people refrained from that AND read profiles before they merely peruse the photos and get into a sexually frenzied message , then Fab would work so much better in the bi man dept ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me swinging is about joining a couple or a single female for the type of fun they wouldn't 'normally' have available to them, whether mfm, group or gang.
If a male isn't prepared to meet and play in at least a 3some then they are here under false pretenses. I enjoy nothing more than seeing a female pleasured by several men. There are females that prefer to play 121, so I guess something for everyone and I wouldn't turn down a single female if that was all she wanted.
I have been lucky enough to enjoy mfm, mmfm and much more. I am also straight. You have to expect that you will be getting close to other men in these situations. I've yet to have a meet where guys stand outside a door waiting until the first guy comes out before the next goes in.
I have also helped in dvp. As i said earlier, I am straight, but his wife wanted to experience it, so we did. Can't get much closer than that! Swinging takes many guises, but I have seen threads where guys won't kiss a female after she's had a cock in it. Another one 'thought it disgusting' to put his cock in a pussy from which another had just been removed. Each to their own, but some people do seem quite naive where the delights of swinging are concerned. |
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"To me swinging is about joining a couple or a single female for the type of fun they wouldn't 'normally' have available to them, whether mfm, group or gang.
If a male isn't prepared to meet and play in at least a 3some then they are here under false pretenses. I enjoy nothing more than seeing a female pleasured by several men. There are females that prefer to play 121, so I guess something for everyone and I wouldn't turn down a single female if that was all she wanted.
I have been lucky enough to enjoy mfm, mmfm and much more. I am also straight. You have to expect that you will be getting close to other men in these situations. I've yet to have a meet where guys stand outside a door waiting until the first guy comes out before the next goes in.
I have also helped in dvp. As i said earlier, I am straight, but his wife wanted to experience it, so we did. Can't get much closer than that! Swinging takes many guises, but I have seen threads where guys won't kiss a female after she's had a cock in it. Another one 'thought it disgusting' to put his cock in a pussy from which another had just been removed. Each to their own, but some people do seem quite naive where the delights of swinging are concerned."
What most men on here seem to want is vanilla one on one with a girl or a three some with two girls . Less vanilla perhaps - more a daily occur acne for us - but still pretty "standard" . The former certainly isn't "swinging" to us it's normal available in any pub or club or supermarket or dating site ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is certainly unfair.... A lot of men think they will be ok and then when the time comes they can't do it... I have been in a mmf and the other guy was clearly not comfortable with how close we got no bi play but in the heat of the moment we were close and it ruined everyone's time as he then turned round said can't do this got up got dressed and pretty much run out lol me and the female still had fun that day
Wonder if it was the same guy "
Lol could well be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The issue is that we wish people would be open honest and upfront about what they are , what they want and what are their limits and not change their story from profile to message and from message to message in an attempt to get a meet and impose what they wish upon the meet .
If people refrained from that AND read profiles before they merely peruse the photos and get into a sexually frenzied message , then Fab would work so much better in the bi man dept ! "
There are guys and I'm sure women and couples on this site that would say anything to get someone into bed when they turn up the scenario that they are in is not what they want but were so desperate they will agree to anything and hope it works out different when the meet happens it's a shame but it happens |
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"Aslong as there's not a monster cock being intimidating  lol"
I don't care if the other guy has a monster cock to be honest....as long as all the men know how to use what they've got to pleasure the lady, that's the whole point of most MMF or MMMF sessions.
With regard to the definition of swinging, I believe the dictionary now defines it as "a lifestyle of non-monogamy where consensual sexual activity occurs outside of an established couple" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The issue is that we wish people would be open honest and upfront about what they are , what they want and what are their limits and not change their story from profile to message and from message to message in an attempt to get a meet and impose what they wish upon the meet .
If people refrained from that AND read profiles before they merely peruse the photos and get into a sexually frenzied message , then Fab would work so much better in the bi man dept ! "
Well said. |
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"The issue is that we wish people would be open honest and upfront about what they are , what they want and what are their limits and not change their story from profile to message and from message to message in an attempt to get a meet and impose what they wish upon the meet .
If people refrained from that AND read profiles before they merely peruse the photos and get into a sexually frenzied message , then Fab would work so much better in the bi man dept !
There are guys and I'm sure women and couples on this site that would say anything to get someone into bed when they turn up the scenario that they are in is not what they want but were so desperate they will agree to anything and hope it works out different when the meet happens it's a shame but it happens "
Oh indeed ! How can a man possibly concur prior that two girls want to watch him have full bi sex with our man iinc, oral anal kissing toys and running both ways as we girls watch very closely and instruct before we girls eventually join in and when he gets to the room where the dirty deeds are planned denies that he ever said that and expects to watch we girls put on a lesbian show before he dives in on both of us solo as our chap makes himself scarce elsewhere ! Amazing but true ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The issue is that we wish people would be open honest and upfront about what they are , what they want and what are their limits and not change their story from profile to message and from message to message in an attempt to get a meet and impose what they wish upon the meet .
If people refrained from that AND read profiles before they merely peruse the photos and get into a sexually frenzied message , then Fab would work so much better in the bi man dept !
There are guys and I'm sure women and couples on this site that would say anything to get someone into bed when they turn up the scenario that they are in is not what they want but were so desperate they will agree to anything and hope it works out different when the meet happens it's a shame but it happens
Oh indeed ! How can a man possibly concur prior that two girls want to watch him have full bi sex with our man iinc, oral anal kissing toys and running both ways as we girls watch very closely and instruct before we girls eventually join in and when he gets to the room where the dirty deeds are planned denies that he ever said that and expects to watch we girls put on a lesbian show before he dives in on both of us solo as our chap makes himself scarce elsewhere ! Amazing but true !"
So you've just described our ultimate fantasy. Oh my God... |
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"The issue is that we wish people would be open honest and upfront about what they are , what they want and what are their limits and not change their story from profile to message and from message to message in an attempt to get a meet and impose what they wish upon the meet .
If people refrained from that AND read profiles before they merely peruse the photos and get into a sexually frenzied message , then Fab would work so much better in the bi man dept !
There are guys and I'm sure women and couples on this site that would say anything to get someone into bed when they turn up the scenario that they are in is not what they want but were so desperate they will agree to anything and hope it works out different when the meet happens it's a shame but it happens
Oh indeed ! How can a man possibly concur prior that two girls want to watch him have full bi sex with our man iinc, oral anal kissing toys and running both ways as we girls watch very closely and instruct before we girls eventually join in and when he gets to the room where the dirty deeds are planned denies that he ever said that and expects to watch we girls put on a lesbian show before he dives in on both of us solo as our chap makes himself scarce elsewhere ! Amazing but true !
So you've just described our ultimate fantasy. Oh my God..."
With we girls in matching under busy black corsets black nails black mesh shorts hold ups and heels of course ! Not many men's idea of fun though ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be fair, we've met well verified guys who have suffered from stage fright too.
It happens."
Stage fright is ok.... I have seen that because they at least turned up. You can take them in hand (or mouth) and calm their nerves. They usually come good in the end.
The ones that get me are the ones who say they can make a MMFM type meet and then drop out. They almost always say nothing; just stop communicating. They make no apology or even tell you they are not coming. They just don't turn up.
I had one recently who had the courage to answer my question as to why. He said he did not think he could "cope with a woman like you". I think if he, and others, knew how much sex the average "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" girl could really take it would scare the hell out of most men. hahahaha |
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Most men have had stage fright or equipment failure at some point. It happens occasionally, the right chemicals just aren't flowing through the brain.
But not turning up to a MMf or MMFM because you're too intimidated by the situation - and not having the decency to tell the poor lady - isn't on.
Sometimes fantasy is fine, and reality is too much for people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ha Ha
Us blokes are a strange lot ladies. I have this theory that extreme homophobia is infact a manifestation that a man has Bi-sexual feelings. Even though I have done the Bi thing a few times I still do all the usual male things and mannerisms when presented with homosexy type things in the vanilla world, it's just how we are wired to be like that. It's our guard going up.
I'm afraid no amount of grrrrrring and macho bullshit impresses me. I don't think there is such a think as an absolutely straight guy. Just close your eyes, forget there is maybe a bit of stubble and enjoy it and stop being such a baby LOL. That's what I do anyway. And Hey the ladies absolutely love it. Well most of the ones we've met do anyway.
Their voices build up to a crescendo of egging us on. It's like a pack of wolves. He he he. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assumed men were ok being naked in front of other men, if tales of mens changing rooms were to be believed. This site set me straight pretty quickly."
. I don't mind bein naked in changin rooms,but also get paranoid about bein perved on lol sure my gym got afew closet gays ha caught guys lookin at my cock before now
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"I assumed men were ok being naked in front of other men, if tales of mens changing rooms were to be believed. This site set me straight pretty quickly.. I don't mind bein naked in changin rooms,but also get paranoid about bein perved on lol sure my gym got afew closet gays ha caught guys lookin at my cock before now"
But you were looking at them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a former Pro sports person I'm accustomed to walking around showers and dressing rooms naked in from of other naked men.
As a former Erotic dancer getting naked in front of a group of women kills stage fright
Gang bangs/MMF or any combination doesn't bother me as long as when my cock is buried deep inside a vagina some big cock is not trying to bury itself up my arse.
Have performed 2 cocks in one vagina before so no worries here.
Don't get the shy nervous type thought
ALL guys were up for anything until I joined this site |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I assumed men were ok being naked in front of other men, if tales of mens changing rooms were to be believed. This site set me straight pretty quickly.
I don't mind bein naked in changin rooms,but also get paranoid about bein perved on lol sure my gym got afew closet gays ha caught guys lookin at my cock before now"
Yes, it's a known fact that you can, in fact, catch The Gay from being looked at by a bloke while naked. *nods* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As a former Pro sports person I'm accustomed to walking around showers and dressing rooms naked in from of other naked men.
As a former Erotic dancer getting naked in front of a group of women kills stage fright
Gang bangs/MMF or any combination doesn't bother me as long as when my cock is buried deep inside a vagina some big cock is not trying to bury itself up my arse.
Have performed 2 cocks in one vagina before so no worries here.
Don't get the shy nervous type thought
ALL guys were up for anything until I joined this site "
Well you are ok aren't you. 
Most guys not really experienced in swinging find the concept of sharing a vagina with another man's cock a scary thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assumed men were ok being naked in front of other men, if tales of mens changing rooms were to be believed. This site set me straight pretty quickly."
not all men hang around in changing rooms - but for those of us that do.. the stories are likely true
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"but also get paranoid about bein perved on lol sure my gym got afew closet gays ha caught guys lookin at my cock before now"
Oh the horror. Maybe they are not closet gays....you do know they are no longer required to wear a special sticker to indicate their gayness?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Like a few ladies on here I like to enjoy more than one guy at a time. I am always clear in this when I initially chat with guys so expect them to make a judgement on if that is their thing.
Sadly it seems male bravado or something usually makes them say an enthusiastic "YES" to a MMFM when they know they have issues about being naked infront of other men and especially physical contact. Even when it is clear there is no bi play.
Guys, it would help amazingly if you read profiles and were honest about your limits. Please don't say yes when you know you will chicken out at the last minute.
Ladies and couples; is that fair?
"
It's alright touching, as long as there's no blue on blue towards my head I'll be alright |
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"Like a few ladies on here I like to enjoy more than one guy at a time. I am always clear in this when I initially chat with guys so expect them to make a judgement on if that is their thing.
Sadly it seems male bravado or something usually makes them say an enthusiastic "YES" to a MMFM when they know they have issues about being naked infront of other men and especially physical contact. Even when it is clear there is no bi play.
Guys, it would help amazingly if you read profiles and were honest about your limits. Please don't say yes when you know you will chicken out at the last minute.
Ladies and couples; is that fair?
"
not a lady or a couple but........
When i had my first group play, i was slightly nervous about the other men there, being the only person under 28, i think the fellas should try and concentrate less on the other men and more on the ladies!
Worked for me on a bed with 3 ladies and 8 guys  lol
Although i did move when someone said im going to cum, and it was pointed in my direction....friendly fire happens haa! |
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"I assumed men were ok being naked in front of other men, if tales of mens changing rooms were to be believed. This site set me straight pretty quickly.
I don't mind bein naked in changin rooms,but also get paranoid about bein perved on lol sure my gym got afew closet gays ha caught guys lookin at my cock before now
Yes, it's a known fact that you can, in fact, catch The Gay from being looked at by a bloke while naked. *nods*"
SCIENTIFIC FACT
lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind getting naked and having sex in front of other men. What I do mind though is the unspoken and discreet "dick comparison contest" that goes on when some men quite clearly get a kick out of seeing if their pecker happens to be the biggest of the lot! God help you if you're a grower and not a shower, takes a lot more guts to just strip off in front of other men when it comes to group play!
Men are worried women will judge us by dick size. But I'd argue that men are even more worried of being cut down to size quite literally by other men around and thus look bad or less desirable to the female in the group play scenario! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Aslong as there's not a monster cock being intimidating lol"
My first threesome was like this he was easily 10" and there's little old me. Didn't faze me though once we got into it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you sure it's about being naked in front of other men!? I'm happy spoiling a woman in a threesome but I personally lose interest if there are any more blokes in the scenario because it turns into a scrum and the woman disappears in a sea of groping male bodies!? There's nothing remotely sexy about that for me. |
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I'm not into hanging around naked with other naked guys.
UNLESS there is a woman or two that we are having fun with. Then I'm quite happy dp, dvp, double oral. Whatever she wants really. Cos let's face it, all this swinging malarkey is basically an exercise in achieving maximum pleasure for hot women.
That's what I think anyway! |
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We had a problem meeting couples and guys who have a fear of being naked with other men, particularly as I'm Bi.
We've made sure now that we avoid these awkward situations now. Before the meetings, S ties me to a chair blindfolded and gagged, tapes a message to my chest saying "R is like this for your protection, because he's bisexual and as such unable to control himself around naked men,as all benders are."
Then she makes the other guys read out the legally binding statement "I am 100% straight and any inter-male touching is entirely accidental. Any male-male contact I make that lasts longer than 5 seconds will be deemed unacceptable, and I will leave of my own accord and seek counselling for my latent homosexuality."
We find that this in no way detracts from the sexyness of the proceedings, and in fact S has been known to gush at the sheer legality of it. |
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I absolutely agree men shouldn't misrepresent their experience just to get a meet. BUT men are allowed to withdraw their consent at any stage just like women can
(Preferably without being dicks about it.....)
A woman in a similar situation suddenly realising it's not what she wants is entitled to say "sorry I can't cope with this" and leave..... So is a man
Weve yet to have a proper MMF and I'd be disappointed if it happened... But philosophical I hope;)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've felt like I wouldn't be comfortable before , but when you get down to it there is a element of "BROISM" that evolves and you just end up being comfortable with each other , more often then not all the attention is drawn to the lady any way and you both end up goal set on overwhelming her in pleasure .
Moral of the story drop your hang ups guys there hold you back . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've felt like I wouldn't be comfortable before , but when you get down to it there is a element of "BROISM" that evolves and you just end up being comfortable with each other , more often then not all the attention is drawn to the lady any way and you both end up goal set on overwhelming her in pleasure .
Moral of the story drop your hang ups guys there hold you back . "
I like the way you said that. A group of men working together can transport a woman to amazing pleasure. Just concentrate on the girl. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I absolutely agree men shouldn't misrepresent their experience just to get a meet. BUT men are allowed to withdraw their consent at any stage just like women can
(Preferably without being dicks about it.....)
A woman in a similar situation suddenly realising it's not what she wants is entitled to say "sorry I can't cope with this" and leave..... So is a man
Weve yet to have a proper MMF and I'd be disappointed if it happened... But philosophical I hope;)
"
I agree with what you say about being able to withdraw but they need to tell the hosts.
If they were going to friends for dinner and decided they did not like the meal the friends had planned they would not just not turn up would they? They would call at the first opportunity.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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l largely disagree with OP' s original post but l assume she is referring to private meets.
I have been in Kestrels/Abfabs and seen many gangbangs and MMF combinations. Likewise I attend a number of events where I have seen one or two women with any number of men.
I have a couple of female friends on here and they put a meet at one of the above places or at a club in the meets section This seems to enable them to fill their boots in whichever combination of men they desire. Therefore l suspect the issue may be how the men are chosen.
In regard to people not turning up without warning that is bad form no matter the type of meet.
In regard to people being there and not wanting to continue, a person has the right to change their mind at any time. If a woman decided in the middle of a mmf she could not do go on, no matter how much she said she was up for it, any man that criticised her would be considered an oaf and worse. The same should apply to a man who could not go on.
Actually bi-men do act inappropriately, l have had my nuts grabbed more than once in group sessions. Also one couple with whom l had played with before on the second occaision the male asked to get physical with me which killed the scene. That being said l have been in scenes where only when it finished that the man said he was bi. I would not have known otherwise. In summary l think things are more complicated than OP and some others have stated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" l largely disagree with OP' s original post but l assume she is referring to private meets.
I have been in Kestrels/Abfabs and seen many gangbangs and MMF combinations. Likewise I attend a number of events where I have seen one or two women with any number of men.
I have a couple of female friends on here and they put a meet at one of the above places or at a club in the meets section This seems to enable them to fill their boots in whichever combination of men they desire. Therefore l suspect the issue may be how the men are chosen.
In regard to people not turning up without warning that is bad form no matter the type of meet.
In regard to people being there and not wanting to continue, a person has the right to change their mind at any time. If a woman decided in the middle of a mmf she could not do go on, no matter how much she said she was up for it, any man that criticised her would be considered an oaf and worse. The same should apply to a man who could not go on.
Actually bi-men do act inappropriately, l have had my nuts grabbed more than once in group sessions. Also one couple with whom l had played with before on the second occaision the male asked to get physical with me which killed the scene. That being said l have been in scenes where only when it finished that the man said he was bi. I would not have known otherwise. In summary l think things are more complicated than OP and some others have stated."
I'd never put my hand on anther dude sexually unless we was of mutual agreement ,even if the other guy is bi it don't mean I would want contact with him , i think clear understanding should be agreed on before the meet in this instance . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a problem meeting couples and guys who have a fear of being naked with other men, particularly as I'm Bi.
We've made sure now that we avoid these awkward situations now. Before the meetings, S ties me to a chair blindfolded and gagged, tapes a message to my chest saying "R is like this for your protection, because he's bisexual and as such unable to control himself around naked men,as all benders are."
Then she makes the other guys read out the legally binding statement "I am 100% straight and any inter-male touching is entirely accidental. Any male-male contact I make that lasts longer than 5 seconds will be deemed unacceptable, and I will leave of my own accord and seek counselling for my latent homosexuality."
We find that this in no way detracts from the sexyness of the proceedings, and in fact S has been known to gush at the sheer legality of it. "
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"I'm a bi guy and wouldn't dream of touching another guy without prior agreement and woe betide him that thought he could touch me without my sayso. "
Yes to you and the previous poster, just because someone is bi, doesn't mean they have to or need to play with everyone of the same sex. A couple of experiences like this have really out me off bi women .... too many assumptions about me playing with everyone just because I am bi ... not me at all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assumed men were ok being naked in front of other men, if tales of mens changing rooms were to be believed. This site set me straight pretty quickly.
I don't mind bein naked in changin rooms,but also get paranoid about bein perved on lol sure my gym got afew closet gays ha caught guys lookin at my cock before now
Yes, it's a known fact that you can, in fact, catch The Gay from being looked at by a bloke while naked. *nods*"
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Exactly! Some people have some kind of dysmorphia - I'm sure when they look in the mirror they see Brad Pitt looking back at them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm a bi guy and wouldn't dream of touching another guy without prior agreement and woe betide him that thought he could touch me without my sayso.
Yes to you and the previous poster, just because someone is bi, doesn't mean they have to or need to play with everyone of the same sex. A couple of experiences like this have really out me off bi women .... too many assumptions about me playing with everyone just because I am bi ... not me at all"
^^^ This.
I think a lot of straight couples are put off bi guys for an MMF because they assume the bi guy will want to jump on the other guy.
In a MMF situation you should expect some contact when the guys are close together but never anything sexual unless it's been discussed beforehand - as with anything, communication is key.
I can understand nerves playing a part with some guys when being around other naked guys, but just try to remember that you're all there for the same thing and to have a good time. If being around other naked guys in a group or MFF situation isn't your thing, then don't do it. Just be honest about what you like and don't like and everyone should be comfortable and happy. |
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By *haznsteCouple
over a year ago
plymouth |
"Absofuckinlutley.
In our newbie days we met a couple of guys were clearly not happy to 'cross swords' but being comfortable is all part of a decent Mmf.
We double and triple check these days. We won't meet guys who appear to be concern they might start buying scatter cushions and calling people darhling if they touch another cock! "
lol that's funny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a problem meeting couples and guys who have a fear of being naked with other men, particularly as I'm Bi.
We've made sure now that we avoid these awkward situations now. Before the meetings, S ties me to a chair blindfolded and gagged, tapes a message to my chest saying "R is like this for your protection, because he's bisexual and as such unable to control himself around naked men,as all benders are."
Then she makes the other guys read out the legally binding statement "I am 100% straight and any inter-male touching is entirely accidental. Any male-male contact I make that lasts longer than 5 seconds will be deemed unacceptable, and I will leave of my own accord and seek counselling for my latent homosexuality."
We find that this in no way detracts from the sexyness of the proceedings, and in fact S has been known to gush at the sheer legality of it. "
Ahh!.. FANTASTIC comeback on those poor guys who feel a nano-second glance at their genitals by another man equates to mentally raping them. I wish my sense of humour was as quick! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly, its invariably down to shyness about, and lack of experience of, same sex nudity, plus the requirement of having to perform in front of other guys. Many guys are affected by this nervousness, which is a real shame because MMF, MMMF, MMMMF etc is brilliant sex. A suggestion is for the hosts to put everyone at ease straight away, for everyone to strip naked and mingle socially and for the more nervous to get used to the nudity of the group, discuss the meet’s fun agenda and then as a group get started in the bedroom. As for accidental physical contact, so what. That can be fun too, and shouldn’t be construed as a problem. Mike |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sadly, its invariably down to shyness about, and lack of experience of, same sex nudity, plus the requirement of having to perform in front of other guys. Many guys are affected by this nervousness, which is a real shame because MMF, MMMF, MMMMF etc is brilliant sex. A suggestion is for the hosts to put everyone at ease straight away, for everyone to strip naked and mingle socially and for the more nervous to get used to the nudity of the group, discuss the meet’s fun agenda and then as a group get started in the bedroom. As for accidental physical contact, so what. That can be fun too, and shouldn’t be construed as a problem. Mike"
Naked straight away is an interesting idea. Thanks. |
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I think as a general principle guys who enjoy going to clubs are a safer bet here - generally speaking if you go to clubs, especially ones like chams, you're not going to find that they can't cope with being around other guys without much clothes on or terrified about crossing swords etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm gonna be honest here I struggle around other guys I don't know why it's just some mental block we've tried mmf on a number of occasions and managed to a couple of times so that's why we mainly play seperatly but not one to give up we still try just gotta get my head round it some how |
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"I'm gonna be honest here I struggle around other guys I don't know why it's just some mental block we've tried mmf on a number of occasions and managed to a couple of times so that's why we mainly play seperatly but not one to give up we still try just gotta get my head round it some how "
I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to struggle around other guys or indeed a flaw, some guys aren't bothered, others find it affects the mood and how they feel with sex - I don't think it necessarily represents a fear of being gay or anything negative |
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That's why u have to get 2 male friends that don't have a problem being together . Like me n my friend we have shared a lady r so n we have no problem doing it but it's a bit more awkward when 2 strangers cum together not knowing each other. |
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We seem to have created a more sanitised or something aspect to our culture.
We skinny dipped and ran around with next to nothing on but more present younger people seem to need a trowel wrapped around them if they're in a single gender changing area.wtf! Such deterrence from cultural nudity is a base foundation for people to later not feel comfortable in more sexual scenarios.
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I found it easy the first time my wife and I were swinging as we were in a club and everyone was naked, so I grew accustomed to it quickly, then there was no issue. Had several MMF, MMMMF with my wife being the centre of attention and then we tried our first DP, ass and pussy. Felt fantastic I have to say, so much going on I didn't know who was touching me...I just went with the flow! |
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"Like a few ladies on here I like to enjoy more than one guy at a time. I am always clear in this when I initially chat with guys so expect them to make a judgement on if that is their thing.
Sadly it seems male bravado or something usually makes them say an enthusiastic "YES" to a MMFM when they know they have issues about being naked infront of other men and especially physical contact. Even when it is clear there is no bi play.
Guys, it would help amazingly if you read profiles and were honest about your limits. Please don't say yes when you know you will chicken out at the last minute.
Ladies and couples; is that fair?
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Oh blimey i am beginning to fell a tad guilty now reading this thread.
Whilst i am more than happy to fully participate in MMF and MMFM i do find that on some occasions – especially perhaps in open play in clubs, when it gets to more like MMMMMf i do tend to be put off – maybe it’s the testosterone ?? The good thing is when its starts as MMF and extra guys just turn up and jump in(with the full willingness of the F involved) i am not noticed as i sneak away. Is this bad ??
Personally i think for we single guys on here the default expectation should be MMF – which i am happy with – I have indulged in DP and DVP not problem (I consider myself fairly Bi lite to be honest - it depends on the mood ! ) I am even happy to give clitoral pleasure during reverse cowgirl – or perhaps a little manual G spot stimulation whilst her partner is engaged in full penetrative sex . What puts me off is the full gang bang scenario with 5+ guys and 1 lady – which is odd because i have had some great times in couples rooms with 6 other couples all having fun. –so there you are my limitations !
Maybe if your arranging a private meet your should get confirmation that they will lick your clitoris whilst you are reverse cow girl on another guy – if they say no perhaps they are not for your scenario !
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