FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Married couple, F not playing ATM, M does... Bad thing?
Married couple, F not playing ATM, M does... Bad thing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey all, we are a married couple, been swinging a few years, love it. Only right now, I'm not swinging due to *reasons* that are bloody obvious to everybody when you see how long it was since our last verification :D
Anyway, the thing is my husband still is, and thats... Totally fine. I mean, I actually want him to, finding it not just a turn on, but also something that I enjoy seeing. I enjoy seeing him play with other women and couples and love a bit of reverse cuckold. I love the thought of him going out without me, and him getting up to no good :D Hell, I've done it loads, so why not him?
The problem I have is this seems to piss people off! I've had people contact basically calling us out to be fake, that CLEARLY, we are a fake couple, and CLEARLY the profile is all about Mr Telford and not about me. That he runs the show and that I don't even exist...
Is this common? I mean, is this what I should be expecting? I want my husband to be fucked, and to give some girl a good seeing too, and to tease me about it... And this makes me fake?
Would love to see if anybody else has been in this sort of situation before, and if so, how did you find it? I can't help but feel that people would be more than ok if it was the other way around and I was the one playing while Mr Telford stayed at home...?
C xxx |
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I don't see an issue with it myself as what ever makes you happy is down to you. People only have to look at your profile to see your genuine. And as for the last question I'm pretty sure the other way round no one would bat an eye at it |
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I am not doubting that you are genuine, but if only Mr is meeting, isn't he basically operating as a single male? We both have single profiles for single meets, and when Mr meets alone, he does it on his single profile. This doesn't change the fact that we are a genuine couple, just we aren't saying we are and then just a guy turns up. Its just how we operate it |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
There are at times people who lie and pretend to be a couple to get meets. This is probably why you are drawing a blank. You can't help people being suspicious.
I think the answer is for the hubby to get himself a single male profile, as he is when playing alone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mr Telford has his own singles profile, as do I, and each profile we make mention of our couples one. Eache has its own verifications, each has its own info.
Plus, I'll be meeting again in the summer, so its not like I'm away for ever.
It just seems odd that we get people contact us on not just our couples profile I may add, saying that clearly we are fake and its all him. He doesn't even run the couples profile or my one, he runs his own. I do all the messaging on mine and the couples one... Very odd...
C x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There are at times people who lie and pretend to be a couple to get meets. This is probably why you are drawing a blank. You can't help people being suspicious.
I think the answer is for the hubby to get himself a single male profile, as he is when playing alone."
Each profile has veris, and our couples one, the main one, has over 120 verifications. Thats... A lot of effort to fake :p C x |
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As above, get him to set up a single profile stating you are aware and happy for him to go alone and that you will verify it if need be. Then ask some of your previous friends who have verified you to verify him on his single profile as well... |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"There are at times people who lie and pretend to be a couple to get meets. This is probably why you are drawing a blank. You can't help people being suspicious.
I think the answer is for the hubby to get himself a single male profile, as he is when playing alone.
Each profile has veris, and our couples one, the main one, has over 120 verifications. Thats... A lot of effort to fake :p C x"
I didn't say you were fake, I said people get suspicious when asked to meet a male alone from a couples profile especially if any verifications are not recent.
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"There are at times people who lie and pretend to be a couple to get meets. This is probably why you are drawing a blank. You can't help people being suspicious.
I think the answer is for the hubby to get himself a single male profile, as he is when playing alone.
Each profile has veris, and our couples one, the main one, has over 120 verifications. Thats... A lot of effort to fake :p C x
I didn't say you were fake, I said people get suspicious when asked to meet a male alone from a couples profile especially if any verifications are not recent.
"
Why even use your couples profile? If we aren't playing as a couple, we use our single ones. We've never been called fake though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are at times people who lie and pretend to be a couple to get meets. This is probably why you are drawing a blank. You can't help people being suspicious.
I think the answer is for the hubby to get himself a single male profile, as he is when playing alone.
Each profile has veris, and our couples one, the main one, has over 120 verifications. Thats... A lot of effort to fake :p C x
I didn't say you were fake, I said people get suspicious when asked to meet a male alone from a couples profile especially if any verifications are not recent.
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Exactly this ....
We are often approached by the male half of a couple for a spontaneous meet .
When we say does your partner know , it's always a yes of course she does . So we say do you want to get her on the phone then , so we can be sure . And it never happens .
To be honest we don't need to do checks , there are plenty who want to meet from a single male profile . No hassle with that .
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If it helps we fell pregnant last April and I (F) went totally off sex - was terrified and paranoid about miscarriages so I gave J a "hall pass".
I set down some strict rules and he abided by them and it really worked for us.
Sure we got some flack but I was always happy to prove I existed and that I was happy with the arrangement  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a person playing as a single, becomes a single...
your husband now joins the ranks of a single guy
even with permission, most just think it just carries too much baggage. |
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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Hey all, we are a married couple, been swinging a few years, love it. Only right now, I'm not swinging due to *reasons* that are bloody obvious to everybody when you see how long it was since our last verification :D
Anyway, the thing is my husband still is, and thats... Totally fine. I mean, I actually want him to, finding it not just a turn on, but also something that I enjoy seeing. I enjoy seeing him play with other women and couples and love a bit of reverse cuckold. I love the thought of him going out without me, and him getting up to no good :D Hell, I've done it loads, so why not him?
The problem I have is this seems to piss people off! I've had people contact basically calling us out to be fake, that CLEARLY, we are a fake couple, and CLEARLY the profile is all about Mr Telford and not about me. That he runs the show and that I don't even exist...
Is this common? I mean, is this what I should be expecting? I want my husband to be fucked, and to give some girl a good seeing too, and to tease me about it... And this makes me fake?
Would love to see if anybody else has been in this sort of situation before, and if so, how did you find it? I can't help but feel that people would be more than ok if it was the other way around and I was the one playing while Mr Telford stayed at home...?
C xxx"
I'd play with Mr. Telford... 
Just saying 
I have played with a few male half of couples without their partner, but knew they were still a couple due to recent verifications.
What if you meet the person mister is supposed to meet along with him and then let them get on with it after?
Could be an idea x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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MaeBabeFind, I've actually said that I am more than willing to do the old skype or phone call thing. I guess some people are more burnt out by fakes though and thats why they take a more cautious approach :p C x |
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But, if he is meeting alone, then he is operating as a single guy ... if he has your permission or not, he is meeting alone, there is one of him meeting, not both of you. Why go through your couple profile when he is operating as a single. Meeting a couple doesn't mean meeting a married or attached man alone, it means meeting two people, surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a person playing as a single, becomes a single...
your husband now joins the ranks of a single guy
even with permission, most just think it just carries too much baggage."
The way I read it is if he meets off of the couples profile she would be there but not playing, only watching. We are in a similar boat, I'm not currently meeting to play but if it arose with a suitable couple or lady I'd be happy watching then play with mr. Don't want him feeling neglected for the next god knows how long haha. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Actually, just to clear up a point, we are meeting off his singles profile "as well". As in, the, well you would call it "advertisment", comes from his single profile as well. The actual issue comes from the messages we get to ALL these profiles, not just one.
I'm not in a position to "watch", although god damn it I wish I could  C x |
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"Actually, just to clear up a point, we are meeting off his singles profile "as well". As in, the, well you would call it "advertisment", comes from his single profile as well. The actual issue comes from the messages we get to ALL these profiles, not just one.
I'm not in a position to "watch", although god damn it I wish I could C x"
Maybe they are calling you fakes because you choose not to meet them... sour grapes and all that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, just to clear up a point, we are meeting off his singles profile "as well". As in, the, well you would call it "advertisment", comes from his single profile as well. The actual issue comes from the messages we get to ALL these profiles, not just one.
I'm not in a position to "watch", although god damn it I wish I could C x"
Ah well that changes my thought then haha. Hopefully you can be playing again soon, and hopefully you get him some fun! There are people out there willing to meet men from couples, bare with it, maybe try a club  |
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By *eendeeCouple
over a year ago
sheffield |
We are in same position me Mrs Dee is suffering numerous illnesses and is willing to confirm through phone call that Mr Dee has permission to play alone we don't want a single profile setting up as like people say there's loads of single guys on here we always put on our status that only mr Dee is playing due to my illness and off course if mr Dee got a offer I Mrs Dee would be willing for them to come play here or at theirs without no worries as long as if it was a cpl they know that I won't be participating, we have never been called fake at any point but it's obvious we arnt fake if you look at our pics verifications etc x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Actually, just to clear up a point, we are meeting off his singles profile "as well". As in, the, well you would call it "advertisment", comes from his single profile as well. The actual issue comes from the messages we get to ALL these profiles, not just one.
I'm not in a position to "watch", although god damn it I wish I could C x
Maybe they are calling you fakes because you choose not to meet them... sour grapes and all that?"
We haven't turned anybody down yet lol, not had the chance. Mr Telford doesn't get anybody messaging for him, bless his little cotten socks. They mostly ask for me, or why I wont be there, or why can't I go instead, haha. C x |
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By *eendeeCouple
over a year ago
sheffield |
Good luck to mr Telford and we are same we never get any offers for mr Dee but we live in hope bless him just because I'm ill doesn't mean he has to live like a monk and same for mr Telford to I suppose X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why not create him a single's profile and you write his profile for him some people may still believe it to be fake but some might like your honesty and as a woman you know the type of profiles you'd be attracted to which could be beneficial, your obviously struggling using the couples profile so what do you have to lose |
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By *rMrs_CCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We have a couple who only he meets. I know them both personally, but she loves to send him out and then claim him back after. They do ok, and find that they've now got a 'select' few friends. Maybe attend a few parties but not clubs where they can see your ok with it. After all, you will be back again after your 'recovered' its just a temporary issue. Good luck! |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
If Mr Telford is making the first approach, presumably he is doing it from his single profile?
If other people are making the first approach, they will have found your couples profile, when searching for a MF couple. Presumably, you then tell them that Mrs Telford isn't playing at the moment? This is likely to be what annoys people, as they see their sweeties being snatched away. But any accusations that you're 'fake' is obviously ridiculous.
To stop people getting their hopes up wrongly, you could hide your couples profile and single female profile. Then you wouldn't appear in searches. But given that you have some lovely pictures, maybe you don't want to hide the profile. But you could put a line right at the top of your couples profile saying "Mrs Telford isn't playing at the moment". This should limit the number of people who approach you with hopes/expectations that you can't fulfil at the moment.
And if people still tell you that you're 'fake' just ignore them. Some people just can't handle disappointment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As we like to meet for a social first we have no problem in playing with one half of a couple, so long as we can meet both for a social and both are happy to proceed so if someone says it's just me playing and we still want to meet with just them then we have no issue with that.
Just ignore anyone who does, they obviously aren't the type you want to meet anyway!
P and M x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meet single guys and male half of a couple.
They're different types of meets and my reasons for meeting both are different.
I think I'd be disappointed to find a single male was actually a male half of a couple. I'd rather get to know him through the couple profile as he is still male half of a couple, its just circumstances mean they're not playing together at the moment. I don't see how that makes him a single male?!
Anyone that doesn't understand your situation isn't worth the hassle anyways op,I'd say its their loss... |
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I've been thinking about this for the last 12 months or so. t is not currently inclined to meet others though is happy for me to do so. she is adamant that she intends to resume meeting when she has addressed some issues she has.
It is clearly stated on our profile that I am free to meet without her and when looking, I make sure the status and any ads reflect that.
Part of the reluctance to setting up a new single profile is that then there would be 2 lots of fees, or if we suspend the couples one, what happens to all the veris? Also, the new profile would have no veris and people are bad enough at reading profiles, let alone being cross referenced to another profile.
I have had a couple of meets, though not off here and not really a club animal.
So for now, I'm inclined to carry on this way for a bit, though I am still considering a singles profile. |
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Dear OP.
What you have siad in the forum and what you say on your profile does not really marry up.
It might be better to explicitly say on the first line what you are up to.
"I am now happily pregnant and my hubby has my full permission to...."
Bear in mind VERY few get past two sentences of text.
Very best wishes for your pregnancy.
L2
L2 |
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Not sure I agree with the criticism that Mr. T should use a single guy profile, at least using the couples profile, you can be upfront and clear on what the situation is - that will come across as being more open and honest.
I can understand why some women and couples will be sceptical about it all, a few fakes can spoil it for the masses of genuine people on here.
How about asking some of the people who have verified you to recommend you to other people they know? It could be a good starting point. |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
"Not sure I agree with the criticism that Mr. T should use a single guy profile...."
My comment wasn't meant as a criticism in any way. I was just pointing out that, if people search for MF couple, they expect to find profiles where both halves of the couple are playing.
A MF profile where only the M plays can sometimes be changed to a M profile (See thread "Account Changed To Single Male" in the Site Help Forum), if disappointed (and bitter) people report the profile. |
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By *irty130Couple
over a year ago
Bristol Area |
"Not sure I agree with the criticism that Mr. T should use a single guy profile....
My comment wasn't meant as a criticism in any way. I was just pointing out that, if people search for MF couple, they expect to find profiles where both halves of the couple are playing.
A MF profile where only the M plays can sometimes be changed to a M profile (See thread "Account Changed To Single Male" in the Site Help Forum), if disappointed (and bitter) people report the profile."
Single female profiles that say "I only meet with hubby present, he doesn't join in, only watches" get changed to couple profiles. I think any situation where another person is part of the interaction (even just watching) then you are technically meeting a couple, and the profile should reflect that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Once again would like to add... We both have singles profiles as well as couple one. And all three correctly state the same thing: I'm not playing, he is. Our couples and my own profile even has it at the top of the text.
But who reads profiles, right? C x |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
"Single female profiles that say "I only meet with hubby present, he doesn't join in, only watches" get changed to couple profiles. I think any situation where another person is part of the interaction (even just watching) then you are technically meeting a couple, and the profile should reflect that."
Yes they do, and I agree that any F profile that says this SHOULD be changed to a couples profile ... it's important that the profile type is right, so that searches bring up what the searcher is looking for. Interestingly though, M profiles that state "I only meet with my girlfriend/wife" don't get changed to MF profiles. I guess that's because some less-than-honest men would invent an imaginary girlfriend, just so they could have a MF profile (which are seen as 'more successful' on here than M profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr Telford has his own singles profile, as do I, and each profile we make mention of our couples one. Eache has its own verifications, each has its own info.
Plus, I'll be meeting again in the summer, so its not like I'm away for ever.
It just seems odd that we get people contact us on not just our couples profile I may add, saying that clearly we are fake and its all him. He doesn't even run the couples profile or my one, he runs his own. I do all the messaging on mine and the couples one... Very odd...
C x"
We wouldn't have a problem if there was a female to female phone call confirming this. As sadly there are many faces about. By a call it's easy to prove your genuine |
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