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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I went to a club on my own. Left it later than planned but had a great time!
I'd like to go again, but not just for the single men. However, in some cases I'm really shy! I kind of respond to people who come on to me, rather than making a move.
How does the etiquette work with couples? |
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I think it's ideal to just be friendly and sociable, though keeping things brief and potentially very honest but non-scathing, with people who you realise are not matched for you.
I circulate and spend time in the bar/rest areas, so there's not an immediate need to show sexual interest - plus others notice you. If shy, take the pressure off yourself and allow others to do the work too.
Smiles are great invitations for others to engage with you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks. I'm quite a smiley person and never scathing.
I didn't sit too still for too long when I went before. Maybe that's the key!"
A sweet smile from a distance while looking at someone can be adorably cute and prompt them to come and say Hello?
Play your strengths  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks. I'm quite a smiley person and never scathing.
I didn't sit too still for too long when I went before. Maybe that's the key!
A sweet smile from a distance while looking at someone can be adorably cute and prompt them to come and say Hello?
Play your strengths "
I'm such a bad flirt in all circumstances  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your be ok being a shy female. The couples will jump on ya.
"
It's all so lovely and respectful that, well, they just don't! I should have a little button or something that says "yes please!" |
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If the people that you're interested in are seemingly not picking up on your interests, then one option is to do the British person abroad approach and speak them a little louder.
People do tend to move closer when interested - so I'd make that move. Don't get to touching distance, which may make some respond by feeling a little discomfort. But closer to them will allow you to be picked up on more easily.
Make some lasting eye contacts and smile to acknowledge them, when your gaze meets. It's not staring, it's just sustained a little longer than someone who's just browsing around.
If you get no further and see them again, just smile and say hi. You can leave them to make another move, if they choose to.
There are millions of people who feel shyness around general social interaction and not just around sexual contact initiation with strangers. Others instinctively know and sense that and will often help you by compensating for it, by their own actions.
As I said earlier, this is about taking things one step at a time. Henry Higgins didn't throw Eliza Doolittle in the deep end, expecting refinement in one splash. Just a little movement in your compensatory approach is fine each time. We learn by trial and error, not solely by trial and success.
You could go out tonight and find you've cracked the code. It may be more helpful to go out and just be willing to experiment. And drop any self-critical observation. You may also be astounded by how naturally simple you find it is to make some variations that are gaining tangible results. And continue to relax as much as possible, as we usually enjoy ourselves more this way.
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Maybe I'll just get a screen shot of my profile or something!
