FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Mail Read or deleted!
Mail Read or deleted!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone
Can you please tell me what your thoughts are on this please
I send out mail
It either gets read or deleted
Ok deleted mail I never bother again
But when mail has been read but not repiled to
Is it ok in general terms to mail again
Intersted in veryones thoughts!  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I would wait and see if they reply.
They could have read it and are going to go back to it and if you send another they might think you are pushy.
If you don't get one back I would treat it as a deleted one until you know otherwise. |
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tbh i wadnt mail again just sit back and wait ,they might have a few to get thru and decide who they wana pick ,we had a few tonight when we got sorted i sent the others we sorted message maybe next time ,,,like ruggers said if you mail again might think its a bit to pushy , had 1 guy email 5/6 time within a hour because ffust message wernt answered ,like said sit back and with 2 meets already you doing sumit right dont spoil it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyone who mails me a second time when I've not yet replied to their first, gets deleted - if they've no patience there, how patient will they be in bed? |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"if you read mail then delete it just shows as deleted anyway doesnt it?"
It does yeah, but the OP was meaning mail that has been read and not deleted and shows in your sent messages page as "Been Read" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to be fair wether people are reading your msgs and deleting them or not deleting them if there not responding then there probably not interested.the problem is couples and im guessing single fems get bucket loads of mail every week and its just impossible to get back to everyone,even if its just to say thanks but no thanks. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
I dont delete any mail straight away, but just do a bulk delete every now and then when I remember.
If Im interested I reply to the first message. If I dont reply it means Im not interested, but the mail will sit in my inbox until I get round to bulk deleting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont delete any mail straight away, but just do a bulk delete every now and then when I remember.
If Im interested I reply to the first message. If I dont reply it means Im not interested, but the mail will sit in my inbox until I get round to bulk deleting."
as above |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont delete any mail straight away, but just do a bulk delete every now and then when I remember.
If Im interested I reply to the first message. If I dont reply it means Im not interested, but the mail will sit in my inbox until I get round to bulk deleting."
And I'm just the opposite .... I delete messages instantly if I'm not interested, but I don't reply immediately if I am interested. With me, "read but not deleted" means "maybe", but whenever someone is pushy with a second message, that becomes a "no".
Two opposite ends of the spectrum, OP, so as Sharp Dressed Man said, don't worry about the status of your 'sent items'. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow!
Thanks everyone for your replies
Sounds like I am a bit "pushy"
Its just that I think ladies etc deserving chasing a little to let them know you are keen and they are respected and wanted etc
Also if anyone mails me (I dont get many) I will always reply no matter what for me and I stress for me its just good manners However I do apprcate that some people will get more mail than they could possibly reply to !
Anyway keep the tread going and for those that think I am moaning I am not just thought I would ask for peoples opions thats all
Cheers Obi |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I think maybe the line " women need chasing" is the one I would worry about as to why you were thinking of sending 2nd mails.
For us, the female half doesn't want " chasing" she likes straight talking men saying what they are after, and letting us make a decision of wether we want it too....rather than being chased and wooed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Above point taken
Must be old fashioned I suppose
Ty
Obi "
This isn't a dating site, we don't want to be chased and wooed. As Ruggers said, we want straight talking non pushy men...not Sir Galahad!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You've had two meets so I can't see what your problem is single men on here would kill for a meet be grateful sweets "
you mean people meet on here too !!
only joking , xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a plan...
Write a little story and post different chapters/paragraphs to random women.
See if they can put it together between themselves and see if it makes sense with all the unread/deleted bits missing
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Swinging covers a multitude of interests with a multitude of different people.
If people are interested they will reply.
Simple really.
They may take time too.
Sent mail if it's bugging you - delete it and send some more to different people.
If you still have no reply may be you're mailing the wrong people or with the wrong interests.
Live and learn.
We all make mistakes.
Learn from then.
Biggest mistake can be sending mail when horny.
The honest will admit this ...
If I met everybody I had sent a mail too I would be a liar.
Can honestly say though the majority people I've met though have been brilliant.
Many things would be great in an ideal world.
Live in the real world though and have real fun.
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girls on here get 100+ messages a day if someone meets the criteria on my profile then i always reply, i dont reply if they have not read my profile and they are too young, smokers etc (all clearly stated on my profile) plus dont see the point in a picture of your hand!!!!! |
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By *arkNDeeCouple
over a year ago
doncaster |
When we have mails to us, we like to read them together before answering, but some folks think that just because you've read it and not answered you are being rude and send nasty messages or block you....
we just don't get it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a quite a few on my send box with my messages being read going back 3 months and they havent been deleted yet, as a 3 months old message, it's worth sending another short message again or just leave it and hope for the best? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a quite a few on my send box with my messages being read going back 3 months and they havent been deleted yet, as a 3 months old message, it's worth sending another short message again or just leave it and hope for the best?"
No, no...just leave it. If people are interested they will reply  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"girls on here get 100+ messages a day ..."
Rubbish! One or two girls on here *might* get 100 messages a day. The rest get maybe a dozen and then moan that they're overwhelmed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"girls on here get 100+ messages a day ...
Rubbish! One or two girls on here *might* get 100 messages a day. The rest get maybe a dozen and then moan that they're overwhelmed."
I beg to differ. I probably get around 50ish. And I never complain about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"girls on here get 100+ messages a day ...
Rubbish! One or two girls on here *might* get 100 messages a day. The rest get maybe a dozen and then moan that they're overwhelmed."
I must admit, I do find it strange that some ladies claim to get 100s EVERY day. Then again I have a lot of filters on mine and I get on average around 10 and I delete eight of those without reading, as they've obviously not read my profile! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"girls on here get 100+ messages a day ...
Rubbish! One or two girls on here *might* get 100 messages a day. The rest get maybe a dozen and then moan that they're overwhelmed.
I must admit, I do find it strange that some ladies claim to get 100s EVERY day. Then again I have a lot of filters on mine and I get on average around 10 and I delete eight of those without reading, as they've obviously not read my profile! "
If you delete them without reading, how do you know if they havent read your profile correctly?
Just curious how this work out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you delete them without reading, how do you know if they havent read your profile correctly?
Just curious how this work out?"
For me, if they're, say, in their 50s and from Glasgow - I know they've not bothered
That or they care so little about my preferences that they'd also be rubbish in bed! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"girls on here get 100+ messages a day ...
Rubbish! One or two girls on here *might* get 100 messages a day. The rest get maybe a dozen and then moan that they're overwhelmed.
I must admit, I do find it strange that some ladies claim to get 100s EVERY day. Then again I have a lot of filters on mine and I get on average around 10 and I delete eight of those without reading, as they've obviously not read my profile!
If you delete them without reading, how do you know if they havent read your profile correctly?
Just curious how this work out?"
My profile say "local" meets only and I'm only seeking men over 45. My profile also says I will not respond to anyone that falls outside my criteria. When you get a message the age and location of the sender is visible.
Therefore a 24 year old from Inverness has just wasted his time sending a message as it's deleted!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"girls on here get 100+ messages a day ...
Rubbish! One or two girls on here *might* get 100 messages a day. The rest get maybe a dozen and then moan that they're overwhelmed.
I must admit, I do find it strange that some ladies claim to get 100s EVERY day. Then again I have a lot of filters on mine and I get on average around 10 and I delete eight of those without reading, as they've obviously not read my profile!
If you delete them without reading, how do you know if they havent read your profile correctly?
Just curious how this work out?
My profile say "local" meets only and I'm only seeking men over 45. My profile also says I will not respond to anyone that falls outside my criteria. When you get a message the age and location of the sender is visible.
Therefore a 24 year old from Inverness has just wasted his time sending a message as it's deleted! "
Point taken, I understand your point, thanks for responding, it's their fault for not reading it correctly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone
Can you please tell me what your thoughts are on this please
I send out mail
It either gets read or deleted
Ok deleted mail I never bother again
But when mail has been read but not repiled to
Is it ok in general terms to mail again
Intersted in veryones thoughts! "
Sometimes mail comes in quicker than you can reply so if the picture isn't good you just delete. Not nice but there are only so many hours in the day and you can't spend all of them on here. |
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By *hocotreacleWoman
over a year ago
lost in the city of Atlantis |
There are more people to meet/chat to etc than there are hrs in the day....no year!
I can understand why people may get frustrated when they don't get a reply, but you must look at the bigger picture.
You send one message to someone...they might not have time to reply, they may feel that they are already looking to meet a few people and just can't fit you in no matter how perfect you seem.....my point is there are so many reasons for deleting a message, dont take it personally.
I dont always reply straight away, I read it and think, mmm I'll reply later and I forget so I dont mind getting a second message, it occasionally reminds me to reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some here get loads of mail and its just nice to have a clean out ,,, so you know whats new .. x its not being nasty its just keeping it all under control xx |
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it can be frustrating, taking time to write a decent email and just seeing that its deleted straight away. but hey ho just got to have patience.
did a experiment once, wrote a decent email to someone and seen that it just got deleted,,,,,then next day just send her a crappy one liner that people complaint about...and what do you know. i got a reply lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it can be frustrating, taking time to write a decent email and just seeing that its deleted straight away. but hey ho just got to have patience.
did a experiment once, wrote a decent email to someone and seen that it just got deleted,,,,,then next day just send her a crappy one liner that people complaint about...and what do you know. i got a reply lol
"
I know exactly what your talking about lol
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I work on the basis that a deleted message without reply is a defnite "no, and I'm too lazy to bother replying".
If they're read and not deleted or replied I live in hope that they might one day - guess I'm an eternal optimist! I very rarely send a second message though, if I don't get a reply to the first.
Oh, and I only message ladies who it appears that I match who their profile says they are looking for, and are relatively local. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I work on the basis that a deleted message without reply is a defnite "no, and I'm too lazy to bother replying".
If they're read and not deleted or replied I live in hope that they might one day - guess I'm an eternal optimist! I very rarely send a second message though, if I don't get a reply to the first.
Oh, and I only message ladies who it appears that I match who their profile says they are looking for, and are relatively local."
It's not about being too lazy, it's about not wanting to spend hours a day replying and saying "thanks but no" or shelling out for a secretary to plough through them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I work on the basis that a deleted message without reply is a defnite "no, and I'm too lazy to bother replying".
If they're read and not deleted or replied I live in hope that they might one day - guess I'm an eternal optimist! I very rarely send a second message though, if I don't get a reply to the first.
Oh, and I only message ladies who it appears that I match who their profile says they are looking for, and are relatively local."
It has nothing to do with being lazy: it's a case of you're not what they're looking for. In your head they may seem ideal, obviously you're not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
How do you know if they've been deleted without reading 
I just send a message and then as far as im concerned a reply comes or it does'nt.......the end......or the beginning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do some people get so obsessed with their sent messages statuses??? I just don't get it 
"
dose not bother me there loss at the end of the day
i read all profiles an only send mail when its suitable for me an maybe for them to return the reply |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone
Can you please tell me what your thoughts are on this please
I send out mail
It either gets read or deleted
Ok deleted mail I never bother again
But when mail has been read but not repiled to
Is it ok in general terms to mail again
Intersted in veryones thoughts! "
No limits on begging mail |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"
their loss at the end of the day
"
It's never their loss, it's actually their gain as they have decided that you (as in the person that has sent the mail) is not for them.
It can only ever be their loss if they wanted to meet you and you said no to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
their loss at the end of the day
It's never their loss, it's actually their gain as they have decided that you (as in the person that has sent the mail) is not for them.
It can only ever be their loss if they wanted to meet you and you said no to them. "
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone
Can you please tell me what your thoughts are on this please
I send out mail
It either gets read or deleted
Ok deleted mail I never bother again
But when mail has been read but not repiled to
Is it ok in general terms to mail again
Intersted in veryones thoughts!
No limits on begging mail "
Ooooops!!! Did they reach their begging mail limit??? |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Mind, that is only an assumption because we never send any mail to find out 
Don’t like the feeling of being outside the club 
