Hi, some advice please from relative newcomers. We have been in a few situations where we have found it hard to extricate ourselves where the dynamics are not right with another couple.
We love the social side and happily chat with lots of people and in the cold light of day a thanks but no thanks seems easy. When you've been chatting for a while and the other couple say shall we go and find a room or similar we find that quite a snub to them. So much so, one time we left the club early on the back of an excuse.
I think we have been stung by our first attempt at rejection being met with quite a hostile response by a d*unk lady.
So, experienced people of Fab, do you prefer a direct, thanks but we are looking for something different or another option? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As much as it can sting, I'd rather know where I stand. Otherwise, the situation is just ambiguous and I don't know whether to try again at a later time or not.
If someone can't handle being turned down politely, make that their problem, not yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were at OP4F chatting to a guy, hubby went of to the bar for refills, another couple joined us, within 60 seconds the lady asked if I wanted to join them in a private room but not my hubby (guy who was chatting to us, they presumed I was with him) not our type they said, she said perhaps I could bring the guy at the bar (my hubby) as a replacement
I thought how rude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Speaking from experience, I think it always pays to be totally honest from the start, or it can lead to quite a uncomfortable situation "
So a guy approaches in club we don't like the look of what should we say?
Hit the road jack
Beat it shorty
No white men please
Are you an ape, beat it
Sorry your not our type
Should we say this before or after we start chatting ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socializing doesn't mean you have to play!
"No thank you" is never a snub, no matter how much time you've been chatting."
I agree with wasp hunter on this, it's much better than making up some bull shit excuse as nothing worse than being caught out after.
Reminds me of the time an older couple approached us we told them maybe another time as we were leaving but as we were on our way out we bumped into friends all the time we're both hoping the other couple don't see us  |
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I think If you like socialising find a good social network through certain clubs or socials or events and you'll find play would flow more freely when least expected .. There's someone out there for everyone ..
Some swingers go to play and are very specific and others prefer a softer .. no need to ask naturally happens approach.
From listening to friends that have played when they didn't feel comfortable and later regretted it .. a polite no is aways best .. Otherwise the person feels violated put yourself in their shoes !!.
Learn to read body language and then you'll get a vibe and you no not to ask in first place ... the signs are always there xxx
Good luck x |
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I'd be embarrassed about being knocked back and leave the person/s alone. I wouldn't ever dream of giving abuse under any circumstances. Even if they had been particularly rude or nasty, I may be impolite back, but never abusive. I realise I'm not for everyone and acting like a twat won't change that |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
We only play in clubs and find that rejection is never an issue - it's always assumed that people have their preferences as to who they play with and not fitting those preferences is certainly not an insult. It also provides the opportunity of seeing potential playmates before committing to a meet. |
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By *howdown1Man
over a year ago
Wellingborough |
ok while i appreciate not everyone is for everyone some couples think there mr and mrs beckham. ohh not my type. yet there have no manners. just because there a couple it seems its about them them them only. rather than mutual fun. i used to like the club scene now it seems so much of a disapointment. |
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