FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Deciding to fluid bond
Deciding to fluid bond
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, lets have a theoretical situation here.
You're in a meaningful relationship. You see one or more other people for sex - either in a casual swingers sense or a more committed way.
When do you decide you want to start playing unprotected with your partner? Is it weeks, months, years? How do you have that conversation? What kind of things do you consider before you begin to play without protection? What guidelines would you put in place to protect your health when agreeing to have sex without protection with your partner?
(Curious because my partner and I are in the process of discussing having unprotected sex sometimes. I was wondering how other people go about negotiating that.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I met the otherhalf from here our first few meets were bagged then we realised we wanted to date eachother.
We discussed protection, both went to get tested then stopped using condoms when we got the all clear.
It felt easy for us, as we were both on fab and knew how it works on here, so the conversation wasn't awkward. |
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It's always down to trust but I met this lady n she did not like condoms but I only played with her cos actually fell for her but broke my hearth when she took back her ex . But most times I use condoms unless I'm with a partner I trust n when I'm with them i only play with them . |
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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago
London / Herts |
It's a tricky one to answer, because the dynamics of relationships differ wildly, as do people's tolerances of risk.
It's best to just be open and frank about things. As for guidelines, complete transparency on other sexual partners is a good starting point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I usually wouldn't have a particular debate or major discussion - a conversation after playing protected many times usually comes around, though it's more straightforward in traditional relationships etc. I've never been in a swinging relationship so can't comment on multiple partners.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So not really hypothetical then? I have been in a few relationships (for want of a better word) where we have gone on to "share fluids" as the OP delicately puts it. Yes....trip to clinic first (but these are regular anyway for me) but there wasn't much in the way of discussion...just seemed a natural progression... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So not really hypothetical then? "
Yup, hypothetical.
I'm going through the process with one of my partners, but not asking for any advice. Just wondering how others have approached it out of curiosity. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"So not really hypothetical then?
Yup, hypothetical.
I'm going through the process with one of my partners, but not asking for any advice. Just wondering how others have approached it out of curiosity."
I brought the subject up with Grey the other night. We both said if we ever did, we would both get checked first and then see how we felt. Admittedly, I would love to but I wouldn't rush into it just yet but that's how we both feel  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So not really hypothetical then?
Yup, hypothetical.
I'm going through the process with one of my partners, but not asking for any advice. Just wondering how others have approached it out of curiosity."
Well they reckon when you sleep with someone you also sleep with their previous and current partners
So I would say when you trust each other enough to only sleep with you and use barrier protection and use a different form of contraception to ensure
That you don't have kids
When one or other has been sterilised it's usually easier to bring up
In normal life and relationships when you discuss the parameters and boundaries of a relationship it would come up wether you want kids and when and at that point the contraceptives are bought up
Its all about trust and unfortunately people don't like thinking they are not trusted so they lie
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"So, lets have a theoretical situation here.
You're in a meaningful relationship. You see one or more other people for sex - either in a casual swingers sense or a more committed way.
When do you decide you want to start playing unprotected with your partner? Is it weeks, months, years? How do you have that conversation? What kind of things do you consider before you begin to play without protection? What guidelines would you put in place to protect your health when agreeing to have sex without protection with your partner?
(Curious because my partner and I are in the process of discussing having unprotected sex sometimes. I was wondering how other people go about negotiating that.)"
From your other posts (and I may be putting 2+2 to get 5 here so please excuse me) but if this is with your other long term partner, I suspect you already know what their past and current history is? - so if that was us and we were as confident as you can be, then the only thing would be about trusting the other person to be honest if anything changed in their circumstances.
As for negotiating it - exactly that, we are thinking xyz how do you feel? Etc...
D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, lets have a theoretical situation here.
You're in a meaningful relationship. You see one or more other people for sex - either in a casual swingers sense or a more committed way.
When do you decide you want to start playing unprotected with your partner? Is it weeks, months, years? How do you have that conversation? What kind of things do you consider before you begin to play without protection? What guidelines would you put in place to protect your health when agreeing to have sex without protection with your partner?
(Curious because my partner and I are in the process of discussing having unprotected sex sometimes. I was wondering how other people go about negotiating that.)
From your other posts (and I may be putting 2+2 to get 5 here so please excuse me) but if this is with your other long term partner, I suspect you already know what their past and current history is? - so if that was us and we were as confident as you can be, then the only thing would be about trusting the other person to be honest if anything changed in their circumstances.
As for negotiating it - exactly that, we are thinking xyz how do you feel? Etc...
D"
I think if I am living with someone even though people do have Sex with others outside of relationships that I would be very likely to be comfortable relying on my vasectomy to prevent children and would hope that my partner could be trusted enough if they had an extra marital encounter they would use a condom . As I would do the same .
I would prefer it through if I didn't feel the need or for them to feel the need to have an extra marital encounter
Not living with someone or even having sex with another person in an affair situation or just a fuck etc I would definitely be keeping it well and truly covered up
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
It's a conversation that has always come up very near the start of relationships. I'm just very blunt about it. I state what I want and the terms in which I want it. They do the same in return. Then it's discussed. If I trust them enough to have unprotected sex then I expect them to keep my sexual health a priority.
Current partner and I go and get STI checked together regularly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would never had unprotected sex with anybody who is having sex with other people
If they are willing to go bare with me then they will be willing to do it with others too
The only time I would go bare is if I was in a monogamous relationship |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It sounds so formal - send a letter to ones potential sex partner suggesting a time and date to fluid bond. "
I think it sounds quite affectionate actually. Deciding to take your intimacy to a new place, trust each other with your health, etc. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would never had unprotected sex with anybody who is having sex with other people
If they are willing to go bare with me then they will be willing to do it with others too
The only time I would go bare is if I was in a monogamous relationship"
See we have been together almost four years and I trust him and his other long term partner implicitly. With my life. I know he would be honest about anything he needed to be honest about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
D
I think if I am living with someone even though people do have Sex with others outside of relationships that I would be very likely to be comfortable relying on my vasectomy to prevent children and would hope that my partner could be trusted enough if they had an extra marital encounter they would use a condom . As I would do the same .
I would prefer it through if I didn't feel the need or for them to feel the need to have an extra marital encounter
Not living with someone or even having sex with another person in an affair situation or just a fuck etc I would definitely be keeping it well and truly covered up
"
Worth considering that I am *not* talking about affairs. I'm talking about swingers or poly situations.
Your last paragraph is intriguing - why does living with someone make a difference? |
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I'd just like to say that I think that's possibly the nicest description of bareback I've ever heard.
Fluid bonding is so grown up. I like it.
I think as with everything, communication is key. If I ever get to that stage with someone, I'm going to make an outing to the GUM clinic into a nonsense date day and something we do together.  |
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"So, lets have a theoretical situation here.
You're in a meaningful relationship. You see one or more other people for sex - either in a casual swingers sense or a more committed way.
When do you decide you want to start playing unprotected with your partner? Is it weeks, months, years? How do you have that conversation? What kind of things do you consider before you begin to play without protection? What guidelines would you put in place to protect your health when agreeing to have sex without protection with your partner?
(Curious because my partner and I are in the process of discussing having unprotected sex sometimes. I was wondering how other people go about negotiating that.)"
We met on here in 2013.
He moved in July 2014. We had unprotected sex for the first time in September 2015. I broached it as I felt it odd to be in a relationship and using condoms.
What has happened though is we've almost stopped having sex. We talk about it, but we're still not as spontaneous as we were. It may have nothing to do with it, but that's the only thing that changed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
D
I think if I am living with someone even though people do have Sex with others outside of relationships that I would be very likely to be comfortable relying on my vasectomy to prevent children and would hope that my partner could be trusted enough if they had an extra marital encounter they would use a condom . As I would do the same .
I would prefer it through if I didn't feel the need or for them to feel the need to have an extra marital encounter
Not living with someone or even having sex with another person in an affair situation or just a fuck etc I would definitely be keeping it well and truly covered up
Worth considering that I am *not* talking about affairs. I'm talking about swingers or poly situations.
Your last paragraph is intriguing - why does living with someone make a difference?"
i don't want anymore kids and I have had the snip . And at what point in living with someone do you trust them to not have sex unprotected elsewhere . Lots of couple have sex in normal relationship without using condoms And use other forms of contraceptive
Bearing in mind I am talking about proper relationships rather than swinging partners
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd just like to say that I think that's possibly the nicest description of bareback I've ever heard.
Fluid bonding is so grown up. I like it.
I think as with everything, communication is key. If I ever get to that stage with someone, I'm going to make an outing to the GUM clinic into a nonsense date day and something we do together. "
I suppose with 'fluid bonding' I mean 'activities that are risky, more than just bareback'.
But I do think it's a grown up way and less crude way to talk about having unprotected sex. Talking seriously about 'bareback' to me is like going to your doctor and saying 'I have a lump in my tits'. It's just kind of crude for an adult conversation about trust and respect. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
i don't want anymore kids and I have had the snip . And at what point in living with someone do you trust them to not have sex unprotected elsewhere . Lots of couple have sex in normal relationship without using condoms And use other forms of contraceptive
Bearing in mind I am talking about proper relationships rather than swinging partners
"
You seem to be saying that a 'proper' relationship is different to a 'swinging' relationship.
You are aware that lots of people are in 'proper' relationships and they also swing and have casual sex outside of that partnership? Or some people have multiple 'proper' relationships?
To me I don't need to live with someone to trust that they won't have unprotected sex elsewhere. Living with someone doesn't make someone immediately more trustworthy. And living with someone certainly wouldn't stop me continuing to swing or have other relationships.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think "proper" relationships have the exclusivity on trust etc...
It's rare I agree with the op but on this I think that she is right to value all relationships in their own way.
We would never ever live together yet have a trust and closeness that is stronger than many couples that live together.
We didn't have a talk. And I cant remember using condoms even though I know at the start we did... But it quickly went to us meeting a lot and even though we were at that time still meeting separately we both had knowledge of the other and we jokingly called me captain safe as he was known for being so.
If you trust them then the conversation will no doubt happen easily or it will progress without one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
i don't want anymore kids and I have had the snip . And at what point in living with someone do you trust them to not have sex unprotected elsewhere . Lots of couple have sex in normal relationship without using condoms And use other forms of contraceptive
Bearing in mind I am talking about proper relationships rather than swinging partners
You seem to be saying that a 'proper' relationship is different to a 'swinging' relationship.
You are aware that lots of people are in 'proper' relationships and they also swing and have casual sex outside of that partnership? Or some people have multiple 'proper' relationships?
To me I don't need to live with someone to trust that they won't have unprotected sex elsewhere. Living with someone doesn't make someone immediately more trustworthy. And living with someone certainly wouldn't stop me continuing to swing or have other relationships.
"
If it came to me stopping swinging to save or enforce or even just for the hell of a relationship that I was happy in then I would stop doing it straight away
Having Sex with others isn't as important to me as having a loving relationship with the companionship of living under the same roof
I suppose I am lucky that I have found some one that I am prepared to do that for |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
If it came to me stopping swinging to save or enforce or even just for the hell of a relationship that I was happy in then I would stop doing it straight away
Having Sex with others isn't as important to me as having a loving relationship with the companionship of living under the same roof
I suppose I am lucky that I have found some one that I am prepared to do that for "
You seem to just be taking complete tangents that aren't relevant to the subject at hand and at the same time criticizing my lifestyle (and others lifestyles), so I'll leave it there. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just had a question for the OP.
I know it was a hypothetical but why fluid bond after 4 years? Why not sooner or why not just stay as you are as it's clearly worked long term? "
We want to bring in some specific d/s elements to our relationship that involve fluid exchange. Our relationship dynamic has shifted (in protocol and seriousness) and we want to make some activity changes to support that. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"I just had a question for the OP.
I know it was a hypothetical but why fluid bond after 4 years? Why not sooner or why not just stay as you are as it's clearly worked long term?
We want to bring in some specific d/s elements to our relationship that involve fluid exchange. Our relationship dynamic has shifted (in protocol and seriousness) and we want to make some activity changes to support that."
We would think one of the most difficult items in your poly situation is the dynamic with your other partners if you fluid bond with one.
How would they view that would it affect your relationship with them?
Fluid bonding is not as risky as many believe if the people concerned have an adult attitude to life and it does make the relationship more intense.
It is after all the most natural part of sex with a partner.
Though we cannot give advice as we do not know you or your partners well enough we would say you do have to take your other partners feelings into the equation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I just had a question for the OP.
I know it was a hypothetical but why fluid bond after 4 years? Why not sooner or why not just stay as you are as it's clearly worked long term?
We want to bring in some specific d/s elements to our relationship that involve fluid exchange. Our relationship dynamic has shifted (in protocol and seriousness) and we want to make some activity changes to support that.
We would think one of the most difficult items in your poly situation is the dynamic with your other partners if you fluid bond with one.
How would they view that would it affect your relationship with them?
Fluid bonding is not as risky as many believe if the people concerned have an adult attitude to life and it does make the relationship more intense.
It is after all the most natural part of sex with a partner.
Though we cannot give advice as we do not know you or your partners well enough we would say you do have to take your other partners feelings into the equation"
Sure, that's why it's particularly negotiated in poly relationships. When you fluid bond with more than one person the risks rise substantially and the trust levels for both your partner AND their partners have to rise too.
I don't believe it makes relationships any more intense or any of that bollocks, it's just something that people often want to do for various reasons. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Why dont you tell him your considering changing your method of contraception
This will open up the subject.
"
I think you've misunderstood the question.
The OP is not asking how they should go about bringing up the subject. They're asking how other people went about it/would go about it.
As the OP said, they are already talking about it. They're interested in the experiences of others. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why dont you tell him your considering changing your method of contraception
This will open up the subject.
I think you've misunderstood the question.
The OP is not asking how they should go about bringing up the subject. They're asking how other people went about it/would go about it.
As the OP said, they are already talking about it. They're interested in the experiences of others."
Also I'm steralised - we use condoms for sexual Heath, not pregnancy prevention. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Er.....straight to sex clinic for full STI testing would be first stop I would have thought.
"
Responsible swingers do that every few months anyway... Don't they? |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"
Sure, that's why it's particularly negotiated in poly relationships. When you fluid bond with more than one person the risks rise substantially and the trust levels for both your partner AND their partners have to rise too.
I don't believe it makes relationships any more intense or any of that bollocks, it's just something that people often want to do for various reasons."
The risks are more the risks to the other relationships in the poly “group” rather than health risks as your are thinking of fluid bonding with an existing partner.
Yes there are slight health risk implications but as we understand it all concerned are long standing partners which lowers any health risks.
We used the word intense for the meaning committed rather than more impassioned or ardent.
By default that means you are more committed to them than your other partners.
Would the other partners in your relationship want you to fluid bond with them? Would they be happy that you have not chosen them the fluid bond with?
Would you view your other partners in a different light after you had bonded with the first?
Would you want the existing relationships to carry on after you had fluid bonded with the OP?
The dynamics of the whole “group” could change as a result, or they could stay the same.
That depends on you and your partners but without knowing any of you we cannot even hazard a guess.
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"So, lets have a theoretical situation here.
You're in a meaningful relationship. You see one or more other people for sex - either in a casual swingers sense or a more committed way.
When do you decide you want to start playing unprotected with your partner? Is it weeks, months, years? How do you have that conversation? What kind of things do you consider before you begin to play without protection? What guidelines would you put in place to protect your health when agreeing to have sex without protection with your partner?
(Curious because my partner and I are in the process of discussing having unprotected sex sometimes. I was wondering how other people go about negotiating that.)"
I personally would insist on us both being tested at same time at the same clinic, and then trust that each other would not play unprotected with others, that trust only you can decide if he would stick to his word |
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To OP, sadly referring to it as fluid bonding and talking about it in a mature adult way doesn't change the fact you want to bare back with someone who has multiple sexual partners.
You would both need to go 3 months without having sex with anyone else, as this is generally seen as the incubation period for some mire serious STIs, then go to the clinic and get tested together. Ideally twice to further reduce the chance of false negatives, and wait for the results without sleeping with others.
Then you would be almost sure nethier of you has an sti, you were tested for. Remember not all stis are tested at the clinic. The HPV in males isn't tested for as an example.
From here on in you would need to get regular checks if sleeping with otgers but your still running 2 x the risk you were before.
Me and my wife bare back with each other obviously and we play safe with all other people. But if some how she caught something or I did then the other would likely get it unless we caught it v v early.
Even with 100% trust accidents can happen. its hard to do completely safe play with others with fingers and oral.
Sadly barebacking with anyone will increase the risk, but then again you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Sure, that's why it's particularly negotiated in poly relationships. When you fluid bond with more than one person the risks rise substantially and the trust levels for both your partner AND their partners have to rise too.
I don't believe it makes relationships any more intense or any of that bollocks, it's just something that people often want to do for various reasons.
The risks are more the risks to the other relationships in the poly “group” rather than health risks as your are thinking of fluid bonding with an existing partner.
Yes there are slight health risk implications but as we understand it all concerned are long standing partners which lowers any health risks.
We used the word intense for the meaning committed rather than more impassioned or ardent.
By default that means you are more committed to them than your other partners.
Would the other partners in your relationship want you to fluid bond with them? Would they be happy that you have not chosen them the fluid bond with?
Would you view your other partners in a different light after you had bonded with the first?
Would you want the existing relationships to carry on after you had fluid bonded with the OP?
The dynamics of the whole “group” could change as a result, or they could stay the same.
That depends on you and your partners but without knowing any of you we cannot even hazard a guess.
"
As I said - I'm not looking for advice. We are all mature adults with experience of fluid bonding with others, in poly situations and in monogamous situations.
I merely wondered how other people on Fabs approached these situations and conversations. |
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And above is basically how we did it. We got into a relationship. Got fully tested together after being monogamous. Then started swinging together and only safe sex with others.
Even with all this I sadly got an oral infection with no symptoms, luckily it was fully cured with antibiotics. On the plus side it showed the condoms worked.
But an sti doesn't care how sophisticated you are in your description of your activities, class or colour. Good luck in what ever you choose to do.
But we tend to play as safe as reasonably practical and get tested regularly. The worlds not risk free, especially the more fun and rewarding things. |
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If both partners are checked regularly and checked again before they stop using protection and are not having unprotected sex with other people and other birth control is being used. If all this is done I don't see an issue of not using condoms. The issue only really exists if someone is playing with other people who are not checked and known to be clear from STI's.same for a poly group, if all people in group have been tested and are known to be clear and no one cheats and they all get tested regularly and use other birth control, then no condoms don't need to be used in that situation. Which is good because let's be honest it's sexy without them. Cumplay is hot! whether tasting it or Cumming deep inside someone, it's a very sexy intimate thing. but in general with people who don't get tested and just take chances, well then, that suits just dumb! get tested and play safe folks and if you have someone you trust enough then it's your call. |
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We both agree that not using condoms together is one of the essential things about being in a relationship. If you have sex with other people outside the relationship then you ought to play safe with them. That assumes that the woman uses some sort of birth control. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We both agree that not using condoms together is one of the essential things about being in a relationship. If you have sex with other people outside the relationship then you ought to play safe with them. That assumes that the woman uses some sort of birth control."
See we just don't feel that not using condoms is an "essential" part of our relationship. There are far more important parts to our relationship than ejaculating inside one another. And to be honest, I've had great relationships that didn't even involve sexual contact.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If both partners are checked regularly and checked again before they stop using protection and are not having unprotected sex with other people and other birth control is being used. If all this is done I don't see an issue of not using condoms. The issue only really exists if someone is playing with other people who are not checked and known to be clear from STI's.same for a poly group, if all people in group have been tested and are known to be clear and no one cheats and they all get tested regularly and use other birth control, then no condoms don't need to be used in that situation. Which is good because let's be honest it's sexy without them. Cumplay is hot! whether tasting it or Cumming deep inside someone, it's a very sexy intimate thing. but in general with people who don't get tested and just take chances, well then, that suits just dumb! get tested and play safe folks and if you have someone you trust enough then it's your call."
See, niether of us find bare play "sexy" and that's not our motivator - Which is proberbly why it's taken us four years nearly to consider it. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
Just as a note here, since people seem to be thinking "fluid bonded" and "bareback" are the same thing.
Fluid bonded refers to all fluids which may be a transmission medium for disease.
It includes blood to blood and blood to semen contact, amongst other things. It includes bareback sex but is not limited to that.
It's a term primarily used in the kink world since in swinging usually the only fluids that matter are semen and vaginal secretions. Oral sex when someone has bleeding gums, for example, can be a concern but not to the extent that blood play, for example, in BDSM can be.
This is why most swingers who are not involved in kink may not have come across the term before. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just as a note here, since people seem to be thinking "fluid bonded" and "bareback" are the same thing.
Fluid bonded refers to all fluids which may be a transmission medium for disease.
It includes blood to blood and blood to semen contact, amongst other things. It includes bareback sex but is not limited to that.
It's a term primarily used in the kink world since in swinging usually the only fluids that matter are semen and vaginal secretions. Oral sex when someone has bleeding gums, for example, can be a concern but not to the extent that blood play, for example, in BDSM can be.
This is why most swingers who are not involved in kink may not have come across the term before."
In the poly community it's generally the 'grown up' word for unprotected oral / vaginal / anal sex too. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Just as a note here, since people seem to be thinking "fluid bonded" and "bareback" are the same thing.
Fluid bonded refers to all fluids which may be a transmission medium for disease.
It includes blood to blood and blood to semen contact, amongst other things. It includes bareback sex but is not limited to that.
It's a term primarily used in the kink world since in swinging usually the only fluids that matter are semen and vaginal secretions. Oral sex when someone has bleeding gums, for example, can be a concern but not to the extent that blood play, for example, in BDSM can be.
This is why most swingers who are not involved in kink may not have come across the term before.
In the poly community it's generally the 'grown up' word for unprotected oral / vaginal / anal sex too."
I didn't know that. I've had very little to do with the poly world. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just as a note here, since people seem to be thinking "fluid bonded" and "bareback" are the same thing.
Fluid bonded refers to all fluids which may be a transmission medium for disease.
It includes blood to blood and blood to semen contact, amongst other things. It includes bareback sex but is not limited to that.
It's a term primarily used in the kink world since in swinging usually the only fluids that matter are semen and vaginal secretions. Oral sex when someone has bleeding gums, for example, can be a concern but not to the extent that blood play, for example, in BDSM can be.
This is why most swingers who are not involved in kink may not have come across the term before.
In the poly community it's generally the 'grown up' word for unprotected oral / vaginal / anal sex too.
I didn't know that. I've had very little to do with the poly world."
Come to think of it, it's the academic term too. It's certainly the words that we were encouraged to use when discussing these types of things in the essays we wrong.
To me it's like the difference between using slang. Bareback is like saying 'cunt', 'unprotected' is like saying 'pussy' and fluid bonding is like saying 'vagina'. They might all mean roughly the same thing, but some are more appropriate in different circumstances and discussions. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Just as a note here, since people seem to be thinking "fluid bonded" and "bareback" are the same thing.
Fluid bonded refers to all fluids which may be a transmission medium for disease.
It includes blood to blood and blood to semen contact, amongst other things. It includes bareback sex but is not limited to that.
It's a term primarily used in the kink world since in swinging usually the only fluids that matter are semen and vaginal secretions. Oral sex when someone has bleeding gums, for example, can be a concern but not to the extent that blood play, for example, in BDSM can be.
This is why most swingers who are not involved in kink may not have come across the term before.
In the poly community it's generally the 'grown up' word for unprotected oral / vaginal / anal sex too.
I didn't know that. I've had very little to do with the poly world.
Come to think of it, it's the academic term too. It's certainly the words that we were encouraged to use when discussing these types of things in the essays we wrong.
To me it's like the difference between using slang. Bareback is like saying 'cunt', 'unprotected' is like saying 'pussy' and fluid bonding is like saying 'vagina'. They might all mean roughly the same thing, but some are more appropriate in different circumstances and discussions."
There can still be more to it than just unprotected sex.
Unprotected sex covers unprotected sex but doesn't take into account the exchange of other fluids.
I know fluid bonded people who don't actually have intercourse at all.
It's a bit presumptuous to assume it only relates to intercourse. Intercourse is just part of it.
I don't think I'd say fluid bonded to my doctor. I'd say unprotected sex. I don't think that sounds like the equivalent of any slang term and I think it's possible a doctor may not actually understand the term fluid bonded.
Official sites on sexual health use protected sex and unprotected sex as terms. I've never yet seen one refer to fluid bonding.
I understand fluid bonded to potentially included sexual contact without using a barrier method but not to necessarily be limited just to that.
But this is off topic to your thread, so I'll leave it there. |
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Other than my wife, I've only considered becoming fluid bonded with one other lady. We were in a triad with another lady some six years ago and reached a point after a few months where we all agreed we would like to become fluid bonded. It was deep, emotional and physical relationship for all three of us.
Sadly, not long after we'd all got tested (clean) and agreed in principle to cease using protection with our girlfriend, we discovered she'd been cheating on us and it ended things there and then.
I do have a long term girlfriend (7 years) and my wife has asked if I wish to become fluid bonded with her. However I know she is fluid bonded with her husband who also has other partners. From a risk point of view, though I am friends with her hubby, I'd rather not.
Really it has only come into my mind with women who mean the world to me, with whom I have a deep connection. |
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. No idea why.
We discussed it a lot afterwards.
V x 