FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do you want to be turned down?
How do you want to be turned down?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ntnCleo OP Couple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We are also very picky. We usually reply with something along the lines of "thanks for reading our profile and taking the time to message. You're not quite our particular cup of tea but really hope you find a lot of fun on here. Good luck. Mike and Mille"
Just general politeness even if we are thinking 'holy shit no no no no no' hahaha x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A polite no thank you is the only way followed by as refusal to enter into further dialogue.
If Cleo is responsible for most of the rejections I have to ask why she isn't choosing who you message in the first place though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would rather someone say 'sorry your not her type' than a made up excuse or even worse leading someone along with no intention to meet.
The worse/best excuse I have had so far is that I was the spitting image of her dad when he was younger, and it would of felt like insest  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are also very picky. We usually reply with something along the lines of "thanks for reading our profile and taking the time to message. You're not quite our particular cup of tea but really hope you find a lot of fun on here. Good luck. Mike and Mille"
Just general politeness even if we are thinking 'holy shit no no no no no' hahaha x"
One of the nicest turn downs ever get any backlash from that reply? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are also very picky. We usually reply with something along the lines of "thanks for reading our profile and taking the time to message. You're not quite our particular cup of tea but really hope you find a lot of fun on here. Good luck. Mike and Mille"
Just general politeness even if we are thinking 'holy shit no no no no no' hahaha x
One of the nicest turn downs ever get any backlash from that reply? "
So far nobody has been overly mean back. Mostly get a "thanks for replying", once or twice have gotten a "whatever" but nobody has bothered us afterwards. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Perhaps you should allow Cleo to 'scour the sites' for herself..
As for rejection,we need to toughen up a bit,it's part of life..no big deal..Most folk are quite considerate in dealing with it..
Ask yourself what you want to hear when rejected..
Best advice I can give is,don't worry about it. .move on.
Next! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The ideal turn down ?
"Look, we don't find you fit our needs at the moment. However, as you are so polite, she has decided to fuck you just once but we are sorry we cannot repeat meet.
I hope this doesn't upset you too mucheap ? "
I could be turned down like that for the rest of my life  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward "
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have just had a reply that went . Sorry not for us. Which is nice and polite and says all it needs too. No its ok ill stop crying soon im sure rejection is a thing but I find comfort in its regularity. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture?"
We do our own searching too, the problem is responding to the vast amount of messages that claim to have read our profile, yet aren't what we have said we are looking for and then need letting down gently. I feel awful, mind you I was never good as a single girl being chatted up in pubs when I was young and saying no thank you . Probably why I'm stuck with him |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture?
We do our own searching too, the problem is responding to the vast amount of messages that claim to have read our profile, yet aren't what we have said we are looking for and then need letting down gently. I feel awful, mind you I was never good as a single girl being chatted up in pubs when I was young and saying no thank you . Probably why I'm stuck with him "
We have a line in our profile that says "please assume that no reply means a polite no thank you". If we do reply we just say something like "we don't think we're what you're looking for but hope you find it" if that's true or just straight out "no thank you, best wishes".
Most men accept this very courteously, those that don't are easily blocked  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture?
We do our own searching too, the problem is responding to the vast amount of messages that claim to have read our profile, yet aren't what we have said we are looking for and then need letting down gently. I feel awful, mind you I was never good as a single girl being chatted up in pubs when I was young and saying no thank you . Probably why I'm stuck with him
We have a line in our profile that says "please assume that no reply means a polite no thank you". If we do reply we just say something like "we don't think we're what you're looking for but hope you find it" if that's true or just straight out "no thank you, best wishes".
Most men accept this very courteously, those that don't are easily blocked "
That's kind of what we have been saying, although the no reply means no doesn't seem to get through, but like we say one liners will be deleted , still we get lots of "hi, how are you". Fed up of saying I've been shopping, done the kids tea, just busy putting the youngest to bed, all in the hope of deterring would be hopefuls but even that seems to send out the signal they've on for a shag lol . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture?
We do our own searching too, the problem is responding to the vast amount of messages that claim to have read our profile, yet aren't what we have said we are looking for and then need letting down gently. I feel awful, mind you I was never good as a single girl being chatted up in pubs when I was young and saying no thank you . Probably why I'm stuck with him "
We have a bit at the bottom of our profile to out the ones who can't be bothered to read. It just asks a particular group to enter our phrase "cupcakes" into the subject bar. If we get a message from a single guy who hasn't used the phase, we can assume they've not read it and therefore we can't be bothered with them. Usually ignore or delete those, occasionally will read and ask them to look closer at our profile. It just helps to look for a specific kind of person so maybe that could work for you?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ntnCleo OP Couple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture?
We do our own searching too, the problem is responding to the vast amount of messages that claim to have read our profile, yet aren't what we have said we are looking for and then need letting down gently. I feel awful, mind you I was never good as a single girl being chatted up in pubs when I was young and saying no thank you . Probably why I'm stuck with him
We have a bit at the bottom of our profile to out the ones who can't be bothered to read. It just asks a particular group to enter our phrase "cupcakes" into the subject bar. If we get a message from a single guy who hasn't used the phase, we can assume they've not read it and therefore we can't be bothered with them. Usually ignore or delete those, occasionally will read and ask them to look closer at our profile. It just helps to look for a specific kind of person so maybe that could work for you??"
That's a clever idea! Bollocks and Nobber are two of my favourite words so it will give us the excuse to incorporate them into the exchange! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find usually its like this: either my message gets deleted or they ask for a photo and then my message gets deleted. I think id rather have that than some apology or lame excuse. Tough yes but you have ti have no feelings or ego on this site or you will feel hurt or inadequate |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture?
We do our own searching too, the problem is responding to the vast amount of messages that claim to have read our profile, yet aren't what we have said we are looking for and then need letting down gently. I feel awful, mind you I was never good as a single girl being chatted up in pubs when I was young and saying no thank you . Probably why I'm stuck with him
We have a bit at the bottom of our profile to out the ones who can't be bothered to read. It just asks a particular group to enter our phrase "cupcakes" into the subject bar. If we get a message from a single guy who hasn't used the phase, we can assume they've not read it and therefore we can't be bothered with them. Usually ignore or delete those, occasionally will read and ask them to look closer at our profile. It just helps to look for a specific kind of person so maybe that could work for you??"
Yeah we will try that too. Great idea. We are still shiny brand new to the site so it's one great big learning curve. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If I've sent a face pic and the recepient isn't interested, I much prefer a deleted message and no reply. It's clear then that the person/couple isn't interested.
I don't need even a polite reply - there's no way to be told 'don't fancy you' that's going to feel good!
It's unfortunate that a lot of single guys kick up a fuss about not getting replies. In my book it's totally fine and just how this site works.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As above really, a read and deleted message is pretty clear.
Or a simple 'no thanks'/'not her type' to which I'd usually send some kind of 'okay, good luck'
Works on me anyway but I understand others are different!
Not a problem single guys on here have, haha... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anything polite and non-specific is best in my view, keep it vague e.g. "Not what we're looking for at the moment". If you get the "but whhhyyyy?" response then I'd say you can feel justified in ignoring it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance "
it never happens lovely so I've no idea
my ol mum always used to say firm but fair is the way forward mind |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance "
As a very picky single woman it's very rare that I agree to meet anyone as one thing or another isn't quite hitting the spot for me ...
However I usually find that honestly is always the best policy as it deters people from thinking they may be in with a chance if they persevere...
A simple 'no Ty you aren't what I'm looking for' usually does the trick.. And 9 times out of 10 I always get a 'thanks for being straight' reply or similar  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would start by explaining how picky she is that way they can then decide if they think they hit the mark. Perhaps show your face first and say what type she likes and to reply if they think they fit the bill. I personally wouldnt feel rejected if i didnt suit someones taste and i think this isnt the place for a person that doesnt deal with rejection well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance "
I think a good old fashioned Dear John letter. No one is retro anymore. Pen and paper and away you go.
To be honest I think there's no hard and fast rule.
We had some that write something short and we say thanks but no thanks. They either say cool or then expect an explanation or get touchy.
We also have put in the same effort that someone did writing to us. And wrote a long lovely thanks but no thanks.
We got a techy mail back saying if we are that nice and lovely, why aren't you interested. On the verge of irate.
I had to politely respond that if they had read our profile, they would have noted that they were out of our age range, one of them was considerably way out.
They took offence.
So now we simply say directly, thank you but not for us and wish them the best.
The majority are fine with it, and the others that are offended, we get over quite quickly as its their issue not ours.
We're not going to be everybody's cup of tea and accept that. We aren't expecting everyone to be ours too.
We're not rude with it and so if they have an issue, they need to look at themselves, not because you guys turned them down.
Don't worry too much and just continue to politely decline anyone not of interest. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ntnCleo OP Couple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
"Perhaps you should allow Cleo to 'scour the sites' for herself..
As for rejection,we need to toughen up a bit,it's part of life..no big deal..Most folk are quite considerate in dealing with it..
Ask yourself what you want to hear when rejected..
Best advice I can give is,don't worry about it. .move on.
Next!"
He does encourage me to scour myself, but to be honest we get so many messages and I don't have the time!! I don't know how he finds the time to be honest. I'm also a bit too 'nice' and hate saying anything negative to people...
Perhaps I need to harden up!
Cleo |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ntnCleo OP Couple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward "
That's so true. We have said on our profile to send a face pic first but not everyone does. There absolutely has to be mutual attraction. Someone could have the nicest cock in the world and a body like Brad Pitt but for women in particular you can tell a lot by a face. I don't mean good looking or not necessarily as I have odd tastes sometimes, but some things are a complete no for me. I like hair on the head for example. I like nice eyes, kind eyes. A genuine smile.... Guys might not get that but I have a hot man already. To bring in another, he has big boots to fill.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance "
We just delete if its somethin we have already addressed in our orofile as in wont meet smokers....and still they message!!!,Personally i would not shave or pluck my hoop for any lass,bit on the ghey side we think |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance "
We haven't had to decline anyone yet but on my single profile if they weren't my type or hadn't sent a face pic, I just used to say thank you for your message but it's a polite no thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We are also very picky. We usually reply with something along the lines of "thanks for reading our profile and taking the time to message. You're not quite our particular cup of tea but really hope you find a lot of fun on here. Good luck. Mike and Mille"
Just general politeness even if we are thinking 'holy shit no no no no no' hahaha x"
perfect response. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A polite message saying no thanks
Unlike we had
Messages then phone chat
Made arrangements
Then texts sent
Then ignored for a few days
Then become blocked ... rude
Wouldn't
Do that to others
It's called respect |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We would suggest as per Mike and Millie and others a polite " you're not for us and happy swinging" sort of message. We've not had any nasty replies do far.
This and blocking single guys so they can't contact you at random.
Nita |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"People aren't really this polite regardless of message type. "
I've been politely turned down in the past, and I've also politely turned others down. It does happen.
getting no replies happens much more often though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just a "thanks for sending, but not really our type, good luck with future meets" I have had people send this and it's fine with me. Better than a delete and block! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance "
I would just say, "no thanks" to you. And if someone ever said that to me, I'll be just fine with it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"People aren't really this polite regardless of message type.
I've been politely turned down in the past, and I've also politely turned others down. It does happen.
getting no replies happens much more often though. "
If messages with attachments have been exchanged, its polite to say something not just ignore it but we are tough cookies |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
I've been told "sorry we don't do Asians" which was news to me, my family and friends, the good lord who created me... Hilarity!
On the other hand also been told "Sorry, not black enough for me". I almost wanted to conduct research into how blackness is measured.. Lol.
I also don't have much love for those that keep me hanging on for years (while still chatting to me) in the hope I either get the polite hint, or hope I'll still be there waiting for them when they've run out of meets, like some " emergency, break glass" of swingers.
I'm however good with "Thanks, but not what I'm/we're looking for". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are keeping a close eye on this post as we are in exactly the same position down to a T . He does most of the messaging and he knows what I basically like. Most of these guys would turn my head walking around asda (other supermarkets are available ) but I want one that makes me really drool to join us . Up until you request a face pic it is fine to say no thank you, but like the OP says once you've asked for that facey it becomes a lot more awkward
Why don't you look for yourself discounting profiles without a face picture?
We do our own searching too, the problem is responding to the vast amount of messages that claim to have read our profile, yet aren't what we have said we are looking for and then need letting down gently. I feel awful, mind you I was never good as a single girl being chatted up in pubs when I was young and saying no thank you . Probably why I'm stuck with him
We have a line in our profile that says "please assume that no reply means a polite no thank you". If we do reply we just say something like "we don't think we're what you're looking for but hope you find it" if that's true or just straight out "no thank you, best wishes".
Most men accept this very courteously, those that don't are easily blocked "
As a single guy we generally don't expect replies unless they are to meet. I'm happy to be ignored by people who are not interested. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *arkaCouple
over a year ago
Chester |
Always a tricky one for us.
We make it quite clear we just delete one liners etc. Even though that is what we get all the time.
So we just delete those and occasionally we will get a rude msg, saying something horrible about deleting them. Which to be honest just confirms our choice was right
But we always try and reply to a well thought out msg even if its just with a thank you but not our type. But sometimes we get such a lot and don't have the time. So our profile also says if we don't reply please take it as a no thanks.
Although we did have a really obnoxious one liner the other day that said about impregnating Tarka! So replied just telling him to F**K Off! Never done that before but it was liberating. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be honest, i like the older women but sometimes im too young for them.
Everyone i've been in contact with has been great, told me i wasnt what they where looking for then gave me advice on how to go about things. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've scoured pages and pages looking for advice on how to turn someone down without offending. I'm sure it's there but can't find it (or a search forums function on my phone). Feel free to point me in the right direction.
Bottom line is this. I scour the site for hot guys to share with Cleo. But she's very very picky. He has to have the right attitude for us. That's the most important thing. He's got to be very handsome or she just says "no" (we get loads of contacts). He's got to have a hot body and be relatively hairless or again the "nah" comes out. And then he has to have an attractive cock.
You can almost never determine all of these from profiles - mostly I can pick one or maybe two of the above. Usually a photo of a nice rippling torso.
He might be perfect! He might not. Need to ask.
So I message and ask for face pics or whatever. Usually a polite bit of banter while requesting. 99/100 don't suit.
Most times they have an incredibly hot body, but then the face comes through and I think ..."oh dear! What a shame! I know there is NO chance!" Or I show her and gives a blunt "no".
It's really awkward then to say "sorry, Cleo isn't interested" without offending. Usually interpreted as "she thinks you're a munter". Most guys take it fine, but even then the rejection must impact a little, and I'd like to minimize the negative impact if I can! Especially since I usually contact them.
So what is the most tactful way to say no? Single guys feel free to comment - how can you be turned down and not feel bad about it?
I know some of you will just say give a polite no thank you. Maybe that is the only way. But if there are any tips or suggestions to make it easier on the "rejectee" I'd be happy to hear them.
Thanks in advance "
Why not block men and get her to look herself.......  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"We are also very picky. We usually reply with something along the lines of "thanks for reading our profile and taking the time to message. You're not quite our particular cup of tea but really hope you find a lot of fun on here. Good luck. Mike and Mille"
Just general politeness even if we are thinking 'holy shit no no no no no' hahaha x"
Yes, we send something very similar and it's just fine, never had any rude or unpleasant responses to it.
Although a lady did once reply with '???', but once we've sent that it's the end of the conversation for us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
