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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been interested in how people have gotten into swinging. How do you raise it with a partner? And know whether to persue it?
Would be interested to know! |
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One of you brings it up, you talk about it a great deal then decide to go for it or not. Some people meet as swingers then the conversation is reversed ie do we stop swinging and it's surprising how many do. |
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Tricky one, I've heard of breakups caused by people asking.
I'd made a thread asking a similar question and it seems a lot of couples met on here, or had told their partners it's something they'd done in the past so they continued with it.
If your partner seems the open-minded type, could be worth dropping a hint :] I did once before but A) can't remember how, it was a long process and B) she was never too comfortable with the idea so I backed off from it, split later for unrelated reasons. So I'm not much help there  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it just came up when talking about our fantasies, it was no different to discussing anything else we'd like to try, but it was a fantasy for a long time before we felt ready to try and take it anywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, the best thing to do is talk about it soon, if you get to involved without your partners knowledge you might loose there trust.
Find a local social to attend, find a club to attend, its not all playing at either but a good introduction.
Look at booking a holiday with both club and naturalist beach as well. |
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Paul is very open and honest so when I first knew him he was open about his lifestyle. I had always had fantasies and interests in this lifestyle so suggested (he would say nagged) that we tried it together and after plenty of discussion we went to a club together and never looked back.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been interested in how people have gotten into swinging. How do you raise it with a partner? And know whether to persue it?
Would be interested to know! "
You raise it by raising it. Only then will you know if they want to pursue it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's how u evaded up swinging. I had a filthy fuck buddy who told me she was bi. Anyway one day I was looking at a swingers website (don't remember which) and I saw about Abfab while o was talking to her. She suggested about going I said fuck I'm not paying as a single, she said no with her I couldn't believe it I thought all my xmases came at once. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's how u evaded up swinging. I had a filthy fuck buddy who told me she was bi. Anyway one day I was looking at a swingers website (don't remember which) and I saw about Abfab while o was talking to her. She suggested about going I said fuck I'm not paying as a single, she said no with her I couldn't believe it I thought all my xmases came at once. Lol"
Bloody auto correct. That was how I ended up swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been interested in how people have gotten into swinging. How do you raise it with a partner? And know whether to persue it?
Would be interested to know! "
my ex and I had been approached by a friend of his who ran a swingers night at our local pub (after hours) but whilst I thought it would be fun, he wanted nothing to do with it....
then about 6 months later I sort of broached the subject again when I asked him (my ex) if he would enjoy having an MFF...and he asked to think about it 
eventually he got back to me and said no, as he didn't think we were strong enough as a couple (he had major jealousy issues) so I never mentioned it again...
it is probably safe to say though, that that contributed to the ending of our marriage...
if only I'd have known I'd have brought it up much sooner  |
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I think it's best raised whilst talking about sex in general and options out there. Don't appear judgmental about anything, even if you'd never try it. When others feel comfortable they're more likely to be more open.
We also as a species tend to feel a need to reciprocate when someone shares more inner secrets or guarded aspects of themselves. It creates something like a debt, so they find something to share. You might say something turns you on, they'll be encouraged to tell you something that turns them on. Progressively you may both come to realize that you share some interests - it may not be swinging.
And unwrapping the layers of our sexual souls may take some time, as ideas foment and trust grows. Pressure usually pushes people away and into themselves, rather than become more trusting. |
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