FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > deal with paranoia
deal with paranoia
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just wondered how someone genuinely concerned about privacy can make inroads on here. If you are unwilling to send a face pic quickly you will struggle but I don't feel inclined to want to do that straightaway. Also surely it is reasonable not to invite strangers into your home until you really are comfortable with that.
I guess if I value privacy that much then this isn't the right place. But before I pack up I wondered if anyone has any trust building tips.
All best  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just remember that you might be paranoid but that doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you! 
On a rare serious note, take things at your own pace, do what's comfortable, when its comfortable and meet people who understand.
Once you've had a few meets you might find going to a club with one a great help |
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I've moved you over here so that your thread doesn't get lost in the nonsense in the Lounge.
I'm not sure how you deal with that, I think you have to follow your instincts. Be careful who you trust, if you're not comfortable showing pics I'm not sure how you progress but it is possible to remove photos from mail if you're a site supporter. It won't stop someone recognising you I guess but I'm always a believer that they're doing the same as you are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If,you don't send a face pic then the person who is interested in you will move on.
I have met some lovely genuine people from here but,any meet is a risk no matter how well you think you know them.
Do the usual,meet for a drink/natter first,that's if they turn up of course. 20% haven't so far on my list.
Good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am afraid you have to compromise your views.
People put out various reasons for not showing face photos. Their job, the local area etc. The reality is a number of people on here have high ranking or professional jobs such as myself.
The other thing to bear in mind is anyone who spots you is not really in a position to go public since they are also on the site. By outing you they are outing themselves.
You also need to consider it from the point of view of the people you are speaking to. They don't want to waste time speaking to a faceless body and the reality is if you wont show your face someone else.
Perhaps it would make you feel more comfortable if you message someone further afield or in the next town? the further from your home you are, the less likely you are to see someone you know.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just remember that you might be paranoid but that doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you!
On a rare serious note, take things at your own pace, do what's comfortable, when its comfortable and meet people who understand.
Once you've had a few meets you might find going to a club with one a great help"
Thanks. I just don't want to appear rude or be regarded as wasting peoples time. I find that some people either assume you are wasting time if you are reticent or lose interest if you explain that they can't just come round anytime. |
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Take things at your own pace, meet socially first and play in clubs.
If you want to just stick around the forums and observe, nobody has to do anything they don't want to. Message people a bit first and see if you can establish trust that way. However if you are really concerned there is nothing anyone can say that will make you feel safe.
We don't send face pictures until we know we're going to meet someone or we get on well with them in the forum but we wouldn't meet anyone unless we knew what they looked like.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've moved you over here so that your thread doesn't get lost in the nonsense in the Lounge.
I'm not sure how you deal with that, I think you have to follow your instincts. Be careful who you trust, if you're not comfortable showing pics I'm not sure how you progress but it is possible to remove photos from mail if you're a site supporter. It won't stop someone recognising you I guess but I'm always a believer that they're doing the same as you are.
I guess it is partly about being recognised but also that I have no control over images once they are sent even if use the delete on reading option. I am surprised at how open many are on here.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If,you don't send a face pic then the person who is interested in you will move on.
I have met some lovely genuine people from here but,any meet is a risk no matter how well you think you know them.
Do the usual,meet for a drink/natter first,that's if they turn up of course. 20% haven't so far on my list.
Good luck. "
Funny enough I would feel happier meeting in person than sometimes sending a photo... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I understand and thanks. Most people ask for a face pic straightaway and that's ok . Personally I like to exchange a few messages first at least. You can establish some things quickly about a person that way. Once there is a semnlance of rapport then a photo will usually follow. I would also like to think that everyone on here is legitimate but wouldn't assume so |
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"Thanks again. I think that is very good advice. If people are willing to meet socially first I like that."
If you use the reply+quote button in the bottom right hand corner we will know who you're responding to |
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"I've moved you over here so that your thread doesn't get lost in the nonsense in the Lounge.
I'm not sure how you deal with that, I think you have to follow your instincts. Be careful who you trust, if you're not comfortable showing pics I'm not sure how you progress but it is possible to remove photos from mail if you're a site supporter. It won't stop someone recognising you I guess but I'm always a believer that they're doing the same as you are.
I guess it is partly about being recognised but also that I have no control over images once they are sent even if use the delete on reading option. I am surprised at how open many are on here.
"
Make sure you don't send pics that could cause you embarrassment if they did get out. For example, none with both your face and cock in. Send face pics that you would be happy to use on face book etc and if wanting to send a pic of your todger make sure there are no identifying marks in it. If you do accidentally contact your sister/cousin/friend you could always claim your face pic was stolen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Realistically your profile is your ace to shine ! If you are not willing to show a face photo there are many others who will , very few people will blind date and personally as soon as we get the can we send by phone email kik whatever it's an instant no thanks from us x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks again. I think that is very good advice. If people are willing to meet socially first I like that.
If you use the reply+quote button in the bottom right hand corner we will know who you're responding to "
Thanks for the tip |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've moved you over here so that your thread doesn't get lost in the nonsense in the Lounge.
I'm not sure how you deal with that, I think you have to follow your instincts. Be careful who you trust, if you're not comfortable showing pics I'm not sure how you progress but it is possible to remove photos from mail if you're a site supporter. It won't stop someone recognising you I guess but I'm always a believer that they're doing the same as you are.
That made me laugh. .the thought of sending my sister a todger photo. ....funny enough I have never felt inclined to send a todger photo and don't understand why so many men send them by way of an introduction. ....
I guess it is partly about being recognised but also that I have no control over images once they are sent even if use the delete on reading option. I am surprised at how open many are on here.
Make sure you don't send pics that could cause you embarrassment if they did get out. For example, none with both your face and cock in. Send face pics that you would be happy to use on face book etc and if wanting to send a pic of your todger make sure there are no identifying marks in it. If you do accidentally contact your sister/cousin/friend you could always claim your face pic was stolen "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If,you don't send a face pic then the person who is interested in you will move on.
I have met some lovely genuine people from here but,any meet is a risk no matter how well you think you know them.
Do the usual,meet for a drink/natter first,that's if they turn up of course. 20% haven't so far on my list.
I
Good luck. "
Ive met men for social n sex n many not had pics. Yes it seems to be expected to have a face pic but i not sent one for ages n had suceasfull meets (old friends from last time some met before this profile some not ,but they didn't get face pics either )
If ur not happy to send pics then do not. Do not do anything ur not comfortable with
Yea it may be harder to get meets but not impossible
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If,you don't send a face pic then the person who is interested in you will move on.
I have met some lovely genuine people from here but,any meet is a risk no matter how well you think you know them.
Do the usual,meet for a drink/natter first,that's if they turn up of course. 20% haven't so far on my list.
I
Good luck.
Ive met men for social n sex n many not had pics. Yes it seems to be expected to have a face pic but i not sent one for ages n had suceasfull meets (old friends from last time some met before this profile some not ,but they didn't get face pics either )
If ur not happy to send pics then do not. Do not do anything ur not comfortable with
Yea it may be harder to get meets but not impossible
"
To be honest with you though, i think men are more prepared to take a gamble on women than women are on men, purely due to site numbers etc.
As a single guy with no face photo, you do tend to struggle. As a single female, still get loads of offers x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If,you don't send a face pic then the person who is interested in you will move on.
I have met some lovely genuine people from here but,any meet is a risk no matter how well you think you know them.
Do the usual,meet for a drink/natter first,that's if they turn up of course. 20% haven't so far on my list.
I
Good luck.
Ive met men for social n sex n many not had pics. Yes it seems to be expected to have a face pic but i not sent one for ages n had suceasfull meets (old friends from last time some met before this profile some not ,but they didn't get face pics either )
If ur not happy to send pics then do not. Do not do anything ur not comfortable with
Yea it may be harder to get meets but not impossible
To be honest with you though, i think men are more prepared to take a gamble on women than women are on men, purely due to site numbers etc.
As a single guy with no face photo, you do tend to struggle. As a single female, still get loads of offers x"
Have to agree with that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just wondered how someone genuinely concerned about privacy can make inroads on here. If you are unwilling to send a face pic quickly you will struggle but I don't feel inclined to want to do that straightaway. Also surely it is reasonable not to invite strangers into your home until you really are comfortable with that.
I guess if I value privacy that much then this isn't the right place. But before I pack up I wondered if anyone has any trust building tips.
All best "
Put yourself in their shoes. What do they want? What do they want to see? It is not so different from what you want to see, is it? Will you meet an unknown entity? |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
So don't send a photo of your face that also shows your cock, then it's just a photo your face, big deal. That could have just been found on another site like Facebook and used on a fake profile if you get "set up" or questioned and feel ashamed about being a human being that likes sex so are using modern day tools to meet people.
A lot of people are interested in having sex with actual people not just their torso or their cock (easier and a lot less hassle to just use a dildo) so aren't going to be willing to waste their time chatting with someone who won't show their face upfront. They could spend all that time chatting just to find out that when they see your face there is no sexual attraction at all. So all that time wasted on someone they are never going to meet. Pointless.
I always look at it that I'm an human being, so I'm an animal, so I like sex, so I use modern day technology to find someone to have sex with, so what? If other people want to be childish about it then that's their problem not mine. |
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"I just wondered how someone genuinely concerned about privacy can make inroads on here. If you are unwilling to send a face pic quickly you will struggle but I don't feel inclined to want to do that straightaway. Also surely it is reasonable not to invite strangers into your home until you really are comfortable with that.
I guess if I value privacy that much then this isn't the right place. But before I pack up I wondered if anyone has any trust building tips.
All best "
. Unless you are a celebrity , it is unlikely that a face picture will be of any interest to the recipient except for deciding if they want to meet you. |
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"I understand and thanks. Most people ask for a face pic straightaway and that's ok . Personally I like to exchange a few messages first at least. You can establish some things quickly about a person that way. Once there is a semnlance of rapport then a photo will usually follow. I would also like to think that everyone on here is legitimate but wouldn't assume so "
I disagree, whats the point in forming a rapport if no attraction there.
For me a face pic with first message is essential, i don't want to spend time chatting to a faceless who may turn out not to be my type looks wise
I also dont get why people think we would anyone without seeing what they looked like first |
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"I just wondered how someone genuinely concerned about privacy can make inroads on here. If you are unwilling to send a face pic quickly you will struggle but I don't feel inclined to want to do that straightaway. Also surely it is reasonable not to invite strangers into your home until you really are comfortable with that.
I guess if I value privacy that much then this isn't the right place. But before I pack up I wondered if anyone has any trust building tips.
All best "
We have never had face pics on here, we just do socials or meet at clubs instead. We still have more requests for meets than we can handle.
Then again, I know you want to be careful, but going unlos is probably erring too far on the side of caution even for us
Mr ddc |
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