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Mfmf swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input "
my husband had an ex partner like this well before we met she was always happy in the mfm scenario but when it come to fmf or mfmf then she wouldn't or didn't want to know how selfish in the end my hubby kicked her in touch because of her selfish nature not saying your hubby will do the same thing but hubby was full of resentment with his ex partner wanting it all her own way |
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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago
Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...! |
"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input "
Hmmm.... stopped to consider how he felt about you having sex with another man before you first had a 3some...?
Think you two need to have a very frank conversation before you go any further... even with another MfM.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input
Hmmm.... stopped to consider how he felt about you having sex with another man before you first had a 3some...?
Think you two need to have a very frank conversation before you go any further... even with another MfM.... "
totally agree with that it's a bit unfair to want a mfm all the time and give your partner his fair share of fun so to speak |
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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago
Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...! |
"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input
Hmmm.... stopped to consider how he felt about you having sex with another man before you first had a 3some...?
Think you two need to have a very frank conversation before you go any further... even with another MfM.... totally agree with that it's a bit unfair to want a mfm all the time and give your partner his fair share of fun so to speak "
This doesn't strike me as a case of being 'unfair'. There is a problem here and this couple need to sort this out NOW or I foresee a huge problem rearing it's ugly head very soon..... sorry about that, but I've seen it happen too many times before...  |
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"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input "
It is perfectly reasonable to feel like this. We have played with several single guys and couples. For us it is the same feeling, Beth is nervous of Melv having full sex with another woman, but Melv is totally fine either way. We all move through this at a different pace, even between couples so we are happy to just take our time. Don't feel pressured, just wait until you are ready, or not. Enjoy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to work out what it is that is worrying you. Perhaps soft swing first with another couple but talk and talk some more.
But try thinking about this. When you have sex with another man... Are you making love to him ? Why do you.. what do you get from it...
Don't be to hard on yourself as we all have our own insecurities and worries and at least you admit yours
However I love to watch Mr while I'm playing or even just watch for a bit .. I will even orgasm when the other lady does as I know exactly how things feel etc x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it dot feel right don't do it, simples. But why say itl be making love when with others it is just sex? Cos surely your saying in your words not mine/ours if you play as a mfm and your with the other guy r u saying your making love ? Or just having sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are the same. I meet guys on my own and with hubby but he doesn't ever play with anyone else. We both like it that way, I couldn't face seeing him with someone else! It's just the different ways we are wired but it works for us! Not sure how you could get round it, I'm confident I couldn't if he said he wanted to do that |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
The best way to work it out is through talking to him. Remember if he were to have sex with another woman, he is being sexually non-monogamous, but not necessarily emotionally non-monogamous. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is talking about being " fair "
Yes, you could be fair and let him play with another woman as he's let you do it with men, however if even the thought of it gets to you, you shouldn't do it. As someone mentioned above it will cause problems somewhere.
I've seen it happen and been in the situation myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input "
He is right, it's just sex. I think your use of the term "making love" suggests that you see sex and emotions like love are always intertwined but ask yourself, how did you feel about the guys you have done mmf with? Did you feel any emotional attachment like you were in love or just enjoy it for the pleasurable act it was?
For me, if you can't seperate the emotion from the sex then swinging could lead to lots of problems.
For what it's worth, while me and Mrs D are very much in love we don't really make love, we much prefer filthy fucking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I am jealous but also want to please him "
Also I would say if this is how you feel right now is not the right time. Certainly don't feel pressured into doing something you feel uncomfortable with just to please someone.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input
He is right, it's just sex. I think your use of the term "making love" suggests that you see sex and emotions like love are always intertwined but ask yourself, how did you feel about the guys you have done mmf with? Did you feel any emotional attachment like you were in love or just enjoy it for the pleasurable act it was?
For me, if you can't seperate the emotion from the sex then swinging could lead to lots of problems.
For what it's worth, while me and Mrs D are very much in love we don't really make love, we much prefer filthy fucking "
right up our street with the filthy fucking lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input "
If you feel insecure don't do it......if you want to try in order to please him then join in lots with the lady - ask your fella first if you can be in charge - tell the other lady you are in charge of what she does with him and give him a double lady massage and double blow job. Try a soft swing meet first. If that goes well then do full swap next time.... put his cock inside the other ladies mouth and pussy yourself....enjoy m x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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James here, you could try it, you might surprise yourself and like it, could open up a whole new world! However I think it's pointless kidding yourself if it really is something you cannot handle.
Have fun |
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"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input "
Never regret what you did, only regret what you never did. I say "yolo" so go for it.....at least then you'll know and you'll be able to say 'I did that' with a wry grin one day in 2054. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi hunny it's a perfectly normal emotion guys like the competition it's the alpha male in them. Some of us women however don't have that competitive urge. I have often thought about if after I've tried it if I would still feel the same.
It can't help to try it tho hey, if it pleases your fella end of the day you don't have to do it again if you don't end up enjoying it. He would respect your decision as ultimately your happiness would come first. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Maybe I should of said that I was not open to swinging at 1st but after my husband telling me that it turned him on to see me with other men and a lot of talking,and on the understanding that I would do it for him and that I didn't want for him to have sex with other women we agreed is it still selfish of me I am trying to see that it is unfair on him but when we started this it was for my husbands pleasure as much as mine I'm trying to contact maybe couples who would like to meet and just chat for a bit but whenever I try to speak on here I get told I'm selfish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How would you feel about soft play with another couple?
(That's a genuine question not a come on) "
It's a come on don't believe them  (couldn't resist  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we started out with soft swap as we werent sure how we would feel about seeing each other with other people - moved onto a single fem and that was fine and then onto couples - maybe going to a club is a little less intimate and you might see it for what it is - nsa - to me the fact you say you dont want him to make love to another woman says you cant separate the two so maybe you shouldnt even go there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"we started out with soft swap as we werent sure how we would feel about seeing each other with other people - moved onto a single fem and that was fine and then onto couples - maybe going to a club is a little less intimate and you might see it for what it is - nsa - to me the fact you say you dont want him to make love to another woman says you cant separate the two so maybe you shouldnt even go there "
 totally agree |
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"Maybe I should of said that I was not open to swinging at 1st but after my husband telling me that it turned him on to see me with other men and a lot of talking,and on the understanding that I would do it for him and that I didn't want for him to have sex with other women we agreed is it still selfish of me I am trying to see that it is unfair on him but when we started this it was for my husbands pleasure as much as mine I'm trying to contact maybe couples who would like to meet and just chat for a bit but whenever I try to speak on here I get told I'm selfish "
Just take your time, nobody has any right to pressure you on this. When we started swinging over 2 years ago we has strong ideas about what we would and wouldn't do. We have since gone to clubs about 10 times and found we are more relaxed than we used to be. For us this is a bit of fun on the side and it should never be anything other than fun...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like BethnMelv our swinging rules evolve. We met through fab so we had already been part of this lifestyle for a while. When we first became a "proper" couple we made a rule not to fuck others alone but we changed that as we became more trusting in our relationship and now we do. Neither one of us, either jointly or alone, makes love to anyone else. We are interested in the filthy fuck only... And the filthierer the better 
You both must play in a way that makes you both happy. It matters not what others think is a problem in the making, or if it appears to be fair or unfair. Only you guys can fathom that out.
But... In terms of not being pushed.... Sometimes a little nudge in a naughty direction can open a door to a new delight. There's lots of things I wouldn't ever had tried if someone hadn't coaxed me into it (having said that if I really don't want to do something no fucker is changing my mind).
Talk to each other. Be open and honest. Decide if you're in the right place to try something and if not.... Don't. Maybe one day you'll be in the right situation and it will happen.
V xxx
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"Like BethnMelv our swinging rules evolve. We met through fab so we had already been part of this lifestyle for a while. When we first became a "proper" couple we made a rule not to fuck others alone but we changed that as we became more trusting in our relationship and now we do. Neither one of us, either jointly or alone, makes love to anyone else. We are interested in the filthy fuck only... And the filthierer the better
You both must play in a way that makes you both happy. It matters not what others think is a problem in the making, or if it appears to be fair or unfair. Only you guys can fathom that out.
But... In terms of not being pushed.... Sometimes a little nudge in a naughty direction can open a door to a new delight. There's lots of things I wouldn't ever had tried if someone hadn't coaxed me into it (having said that if I really don't want to do something no fucker is changing my mind).
Talk to each other. Be open and honest. Decide if you're in the right place to try something and if not.... Don't. Maybe one day you'll be in the right situation and it will happen.
V xxx
"
nudges are always good! |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"We have been swinging for a good few years now only threesomes mfm but recently hubby wants to try mfmf he's very open and will pretty much try anything the thing is I can't seem to get my head round him having sex with another woman I know what he does for/to me and can't seem to shake the thought of him making love to another woman although he always says it's just sex nothing more nothing less.
I know I have insecurities so would be greatful for any input "
You and your husband need to talk to each other and discuss what you are both looking for in swinging.
You mention your have been doing threesomes, mfm, is that because you want to experience more men or are you doing it because your husband gets turned on seeing other men have sex with you.
If you are simply going alone with your husband’s wishes and cravings we would suggest caution.
If however you have sex with other men to satisfy yourself then you must ask yourself why you do not want to allow your husband the same freedom.
You could try soft swing or even different room sharing if it is simply seeing him with another woman, but you could find that not being in the same room with your husband when he has sex with another woman makes you feel worse than you do now.
This is something the two of you need to sort out sooner rather than later even if it means giving up swinging
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By *icpl81Couple
over a year ago
hednesford |
"we started out with soft swap as we werent sure how we would feel about seeing each other with other people - moved onto a single fem and that was fine and then onto couples - maybe going to a club is a little less intimate and you might see it for what it is - nsa - to me the fact you say you dont want him to make love to another woman says you cant separate the two so maybe you shouldnt even go there totally agree "
Couldn't agree more! We are a soft swing only couple for the time being! Been 'making love' and pure passion filled fucking are completely different!
I'm with other other posters above even within our relationship we fuck with feelings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst I totally understand that you feel that you do not want to include a female into the activity, however you got to talk to him about it. However (and my opinion as the male in our couple) it's a bit of double standards and I think if you cannot live with him having a female with you, you should not be having sex with other men. Unless this is his thing and he likes that.
Resentment could slip in tread carefully |
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