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Swinging and Relationships
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey everyone! So I can't imagine I'm the first to post a thread regarding this topic and I apologise if it's already been done to death.
Basically I'm very new to the swinging scene and I've met some lovely people, but I've been single for over 2 years and wouldn't mind meeting someone special!
So my question is, if I meet someone I really like do I tell them that I'm a swinger?
I would quit the scene for the right person, but I would worry that if I told them they would be put off (someone I dated in the past was put off when they found out how often I masturbated?! Apparently it was intimidating) or that they would treat me like a girl they could fuck but not 'girlfriend material'. I hate keeping secrets so I would never swing behinds someone's back.
What are people's experiences?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tell them, you never know they might be into it too and want a swingers relationship which you both can enjoy"
But how early on should I tell them? Do I risk telling them immediately and them treating me like a girl they just wanna fuck instead of someone they could see a future with, or do I hold out until I really like them and risk losing them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't tell them immediately, leave it out of the first date. But maybe drop a few little hints here and there and see what their reactions are like to those |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm in the same boat.... I'm leaning towards not telling them, and if the sex life dies down a little in the coming years I'll bring it up then. I'd rather have love than fun sex. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
You should tell them, but you don't need to tell them on a first date. If it looks like it's turning into something a little more serious, then tell them.
If you tell them on a first date, that might be the end of it, not because you are a swinger, but because you have poor judgement by sharing something so intimate on a first date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have this trouble too. I like swinging and attending clubs etc, and ideally want someone I can do this with. But I meet girls in "real life" (for want of a better word) and start getting to know them, and worry that if I tell them about it it will freak them out completely!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey im new to forums so hopefully im posting in the correct bit.
Im wondering the same thing to be honest.
Ive unsuccessfully told a person i was interested in about swinging and it was swiftly ended.
But i would like to be in a relationship eventually and worry where i'll end up with this wacky world of fab.
N |
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By *ohnkezCouple
over a year ago
shefiield |
It's a hard one, I'm a swinger but my hubby isn't both met some great people who we get along with , holidays meals drinks nights out, but to tell someone your a swinger when you are just forming a relationship fuck I've no idea, honesty is the best policy ???  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have this trouble too. I like swinging and attending clubs etc, and ideally want someone I can do this with. But I meet girls in "real life" (for want of a better word) and start getting to know them, and worry that if I tell them about it it will freak them out completely!
"
Yeah it's weird for me because I'm so open sexually, and I'm not usually phased by anything. But if I like a guy and in the early stages of dating he's very forward with sex it just puts off! I'm such a hypocrite  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a friend, female, who used to swing. When she met a new guy we had this very conversation.
She stopped swinging and deleted her profile.
As the relationship developed into something serious I advised her to tell him about her past, which she did.
He accepted it as her past but didn't want to swing.
Her ex swing partner opened an account using pics of her from her swinging days and pics from her Facebook. He then included the names of her and her fiancé and his mobile number.
I think it best to be honest with new partners as these things have a habit of popping up on you.
The other side of this is you; by the sounds of it you wouldn't be happy without a person of a similar drive and openness.
Perhaps another swinger would suit your needs? Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's a hard one, I'm a swinger but my hubby isn't both met some great people who we get along with , holidays meals drinks nights out, but to tell someone your a swinger when you are just forming a relationship fuck I've no idea, honesty is the best policy ??? "
Exactly! I'd hate to keep a secret like this from someone, but thinking back even a few months if someone had told me they were a swinger (I didn't know anything about the scene back then) I wouldn't have known what to make of it and probably have just thought they were easy or a player! Obviously I know different now.  |
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"You should tell them, but you don't need to tell them on a first date. If it looks like it's turning into something a little more serious, then tell them.
If you tell them on a first date, that might be the end of it, not because you are a swinger, but because you have poor judgement by sharing something so intimate on a first date. "
I understand what you're saying,but when exactly would you have that chat,a month down the line,6 months etc I often think about this and would rather be upfront from the beginning,if you don't it's like you're hiding something and ashamed. I'd rather someone dump me from the off instead of 6 months down the linw when I've fallen for them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a friend, female, who used to swing. When she met a new guy we had this very conversation.
She stopped swinging and deleted her profile.
As the relationship developed into something serious I advised her to tell him about her past, which she did.
He accepted it as her past but didn't want to swing.
Her ex swing partner opened an account using pics of her from her swinging days and pics from her Facebook. He then included the names of her and her fiancé and his mobile number.
I think it best to be honest with new partners as these things have a habit of popping up on you.
The other side of this is you; by the sounds of it you wouldn't be happy without a person of a similar drive and openness.
Perhaps another swinger would suit your needs? Xx"
I just don't think I'm very good at dating Rachael! The last person I dated was horrified when he found my vibrator and when I told him how much I used it he really hates it! It seems that when you date a guy they prefer you to be all inexperienced and virginal, which I'm just not hahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a friend, female, who used to swing. When she met a new guy we had this very conversation.
She stopped swinging and deleted her profile.
As the relationship developed into something serious I advised her to tell him about her past, which she did.
He accepted it as her past but didn't want to swing.
Her ex swing partner opened an account using pics of her from her swinging days and pics from her Facebook. He then included the names of her and her fiancé and his mobile number.
I think it best to be honest with new partners as these things have a habit of popping up on you.
The other side of this is you; by the sounds of it you wouldn't be happy without a person of a similar drive and openness.
Perhaps another swinger would suit your needs? Xx
I just don't think I'm very good at dating Rachael! The last person I dated was horrified when he found my vibrator and when I told him how much I used it he really hates it! It seems that when you date a guy they prefer you to be all inexperienced and virginal, which I'm just not hahaha "
No, you're picking guys with immature egos. |
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"I'm in the same boat.... I'm leaning towards not telling them, and if the sex life dies down a little in the coming years I'll bring it up then. I'd rather have love than fun sex."
If your going down the route of swinging in its traditional form the benefit is you can have both love and casual fun sex |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You should tell them, but you don't need to tell them on a first date. If it looks like it's turning into something a little more serious, then tell them.
If you tell them on a first date, that might be the end of it, not because you are a swinger, but because you have poor judgement by sharing something so intimate on a first date.
I understand what you're saying,but when exactly would you have that chat,a month down the line,6 months etc I often think about this and would rather be upfront from the beginning,if you don't it's like you're hiding something and ashamed. I'd rather someone dump me from the off instead of 6 months down the linw when I've fallen for them."
I totally agree with both of you, it's definitely not first date material but I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I usually know straight away if I like someone enough to be with them, and therefore how do I balance when to tell them, risk losing someone I like but not keep secrets (Probably why I've been single for about a year). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have this trouble too. I like swinging and attending clubs etc, and ideally want someone I can do this with. But I meet girls in "real life" (for want of a better word) and start getting to know them, and worry that if I tell them about it it will freak them out completely!
"
Hahahah I call it the 'outside world' |
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"You should tell them, but you don't need to tell them on a first date. If it looks like it's turning into something a little more serious, then tell them.
If you tell them on a first date, that might be the end of it, not because you are a swinger, but because you have poor judgement by sharing something so intimate on a first date.
I understand what you're saying,but when exactly would you have that chat,a month down the line,6 months etc I often think about this and would rather be upfront from the beginning,if you don't it's like you're hiding something and ashamed. I'd rather someone dump me from the off instead of 6 months down the linw when I've fallen for them.
I totally agree with both of you, it's definitely not first date material but I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I usually know straight away if I like someone enough to be with them, and therefore how do I balance when to tell them, risk losing someone I like but not keep secrets (Probably why I've been single for about a year). "
but then if someone does disapprove are they really the one for you! |
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I have considered this question myself and, although I've no idea what I would do, I tend to think honesty os the best policy.
And if someone freaks out then chances are you wouldn't have been sexually compatible anyway.
And that can ruin a relationship. |
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I love swinging. I'm single and would like to meet someone but only if we can still swing, So I put on my profile that's something is like but isn't essential, then if I find it things have been honest from that start because we found each other on the scene anyway, far less complicated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in the same boat.... I'm leaning towards not telling them, and if the sex life dies down a little in the coming years I'll bring it up then. I'd rather have love than fun sex.
If your going down the route of swinging in its traditional form the benefit is you can have both love and casual fun sex "
Only if I got really lucky I fear |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
The thing is no two people will ever react the same, so you are best off not worrying about it until you do actually meet someone you like.
How they are with you in person will give you far better guidance about how to approach the subject than people guessing hypothetically on here ever can. So have fun, and cross that bridge when you come to it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Long story short, I (mr) was in to this before we got together, told A all about clubs and Swinging, we're now having the best sex of our lives and fulfilling every fantasy we have xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a friend, female, who used to swing. When she met a new guy we had this very conversation.
She stopped swinging and deleted her profile.
As the relationship developed into something serious I advised her to tell him about her past, which she did.
He accepted it as her past but didn't want to swing.
Her ex swing partner opened an account using pics of her from her swinging days and pics from her Facebook. He then included the names of her and her fiancé and his mobile number.
I think it best to be honest with new partners as these things have a habit of popping up on you.
The other side of this is you; by the sounds of it you wouldn't be happy without a person of a similar drive and openness.
Perhaps another swinger would suit your needs? Xx
I just don't think I'm very good at dating Rachael! The last person I dated was horrified when he found my vibrator and when I told him how much I used it he really hates it! It seems that when you date a guy they prefer you to be all inexperienced and virginal, which I'm just not hahaha "
This was why I suggested you might be suited to someone from the scene. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Long story short, I (mr) was in to this before we got together, told A all about clubs and Swinging, we're now having the best sex of our lives and fulfilling every fantasy we have xx"
Aw that's so nice to hear! Also good lad for being a red! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Long story short, I (mr) was in to this before we got together, told A all about clubs and Swinging, we're now having the best sex of our lives and fulfilling every fantasy we have xx
Aw that's so nice to hear! Also good lad for being a red! "
Lol thanks YNWA
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"Long story short, I (mr) was in to this before we got together, told A all about clubs and Swinging, we're now having the best sex of our lives and fulfilling every fantasy we have xx"
That's excellent! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Long story short, I (mr) was in to this before we got together, told A all about clubs and Swinging, we're now having the best sex of our lives and fulfilling every fantasy we have xx
That's excellent!"
Thanks, we're loving it at the moment, love showing A off in clubs, love seeing her being naughty with other girls & guys, love being naughty with her, as she is watching, it's simply incredible, I'm a very lucky boy x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting thread.
I would also like to be in a relationship. Not sure how the two mix.
Perhaps we should have a drink and a chat at stasis one night? Not expecting anything other than a friendly face to chat to and have a drink (soft drink as I drive) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Long story short, I (mr) was in to this before we got together, told A all about clubs and Swinging, we're now having the best sex of our lives and fulfilling every fantasy we have xx
That's excellent!
Thanks, we're loving it at the moment, love showing A off in clubs, love seeing her being naughty with other girls & guys, love being naughty with her, as she is watching, it's simply incredible, I'm a very lucky boy x"
Hahaha alright lad don't rub it in! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Long story short, I (mr) was in to this before we got together, told A all about clubs and Swinging, we're now having the best sex of our lives and fulfilling every fantasy we have xx
That's excellent!
Thanks, we're loving it at the moment, love showing A off in clubs, love seeing her being naughty with other girls & guys, love being naughty with her, as she is watching, it's simply incredible, I'm a very lucky boy x
Hahaha alright lad don't rub it in!"
Ha ha come and join us sometime, we would both like to rub something in  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do your friends/ family etc know that you are a swinger? Would you be happy with them knowing?
The risk with telling a new partner early on is that he might be horrified and tell the whole world. Some people think that swinging is a terrible thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do your friends/ family etc know that you are a swinger? Would you be happy with them knowing?
The risk with telling a new partner early on is that he might be horrified and tell the whole world. Some people think that swinging is a terrible thing."
She's right. It's awful. I hate it  |
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I dated at the same time as I met as a single fem on here .... after four years of meeting men as a single fem, I did want a relationship. However, the men I met I did not like for exactly the same reason as you, op, they put me off by wanting sex too early ... I did not feel like a hypocrite despite meeting on here at the same time because this is something different and people are upfront, honest and often have the same values. Over the course of the four years I had two fuck buddies, both of whom I got close to, although we did not see each other too regularly, they became really good friends, I did family stuff with them etc. I think that was part of the process that got me over the hump of thinking that I could not or would not have a relationship. It took me a long time and lots of meets because it only happened when I was ready and I met a man who was too, but now I have found the best relationship ever with a great guy who is a fantastic combination of filthy and caring ... I think you should and could hold out for a relationship with a swinger, but don't go looking for it. Our relationship has taken over our swinging life and now we do just about everything together .... but that comes from both of us sharing an openness about sex that I have not experienced from men in the vanilla world (not all swingers are open and/or liberated mind) |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
I'm in the same situation, OP. I've been dating a vanilla guy for 3 months, and I think it might really go somewhere. So I have temporarily given up meeting other men. If I do decide to tell him, I want to be able to say "I USED to be a swinger" ... (hopefully without specifying how long ago!).
Meanwhile, Fab is great for keeping in touch with my swinging friends.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of us |
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"I have this trouble too. I like swinging and attending clubs etc, and ideally want someone I can do this with. But I meet girls in "real life" (for want of a better word) and start getting to know them, and worry that if I tell them about it it will freak them out completely!
Hahahah I call it the 'outside world'"
I just think you've been dating some fairly sexually unadventurous men, and with that sort of man the swinging side is never going to work
If you're going out with an open minded man who isn't freaked out by you enjoying your body etc then having swinging as part of your relationship wouldn't be an issue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have a swinging partner a lot more fun in my opinion, me ex was too dry and possessive, my current partner loves me being naughty with and without him and we adore each other |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not easy, but I have found in my experience that if you try and keep it a secret it will come out at some point.
At least if you tell them first they are hearing it from you and not some big mouth who's trying to cause trouble. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey everyone! So I can't imagine I'm the first to post a thread regarding this topic and I apologise if it's already been done to death.
Basically I'm very new to the swinging scene and I've met some lovely people, but I've been single for over 2 years and wouldn't mind meeting someone special!
So my question is, if I meet someone I really like do I tell them that I'm a swinger?
I would quit the scene for the right person, but I would worry that if I told them they would be put off (someone I dated in the past was put off when they found out how often I masturbated?! Apparently it was intimidating) or that they would treat me like a girl they could fuck but not 'girlfriend material'. I hate keeping secrets so I would never swing behinds someone's back.
What are people's experiences?!"
I was lucky I met my boyfriend on here. Been togetger over 2 years now. My previous partners I told because it was something I wanted to try with them and we did mff a few times x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Once a swinger always a swinger. I think it would be very hard to put this particular thing back in Pandora's box. Be honest and talk it through. If they throw a wobbler about it, they are probably not for you.
If they say they'll have a little think about it then give them some space and you never know you might have found someone you can grow to love a lot. |
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Hi OP
It is the same dilemma for a single guy and I would say harder for a bloke to talk about to a lady who you have just met and started dating. It is hard to bring up in conversation without the lady thinking your some sort of sexual predator and in my experience most run a mile when you tell them.
Unless you meet someone while swinging it will always be a hard topic as most vanilla people can be so prudent against this lifestyle.
I always like to be honest as its no good stringing them along and keeping secrets.
It would be better to find someone who wants to do swinging with you and not be forced into it or go off at a completely different tangent in the swinging world.
Hope you find that special person who you can share your swinging life with. X |
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"I wouldnt get involved in a relationship unless with someone that had swung before, all history is out there then, no skeletons in the closest"
Certainly that would be the best option in my view, likely to be sexually open minded, not intimidated by a partner with a varied and high sex drive and not put off by the swinging lifestyle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once a swinger always a swinger. I think it would be very hard to put this particular thing back in Pandora's box. Be honest and talk it through. If they throw a wobbler about it, they are probably not for you.
If they say they'll have a little think about it then give them some space and you never know you might have found someone you can grow to love a lot. "
I agree it's not easy to stop swinging if you've really enjoyed it but my friend is living proof you can.
She's very much in love and freely admits she misses the lifestyle at times but loves what she has with him more. |
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I think the key thing is if you start dating someone, and you can't be honest about who you are (ie a woman that enjoys sex) then they aren't going to be partner material...
A guy horrified to discover you use a vibrator for instance, a relationship isn't ever going to work
You don't have to tell all in your first dates, but talking while dating can reveal lots.... Fantasy discussions for instance, which can easily start just from watching a TV show together and commenting on someone and then asking about you they like...
Far too many people risk being in the wrong relationship rather than being honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do your friends/ family etc know that you are a swinger? Would you be happy with them knowing?
The risk with telling a new partner early on is that he might be horrified and tell the whole world. Some people think that swinging is a terrible thing.
She's right. It's awful. I hate it "
x
P.S. I'm not a Daily Mail reporter. It's an utter coincidence that this morning there was a thread about Daily Mail/ Facebook people slagging off Swingers.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have this trouble too. I like swinging and attending clubs etc, and ideally want someone I can do this with. But I meet girls in "real life" (for want of a better word) and start getting to know them, and worry that if I tell them about it it will freak them out completely!
Yeah it's weird for me because I'm so open sexually, and I'm not usually phased by anything. But if I like a guy and in the early stages of dating he's very forward with sex it just puts off! I'm such a hypocrite "
I think you will find that a lot of men find sexual confidence in a woman a huge turn on, I know I do. Having said that it is probably best not to bring it up on a first date, drop subtle hints into conversation on later dates and see how they react.. Lets be honest we are male and you woman can read us like books so it should not be to hard to work out if the date is up for it or not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey everyone! So I can't imagine I'm the first to post a thread regarding this topic and I apologise if it's already been done to death.
Basically I'm very new to the swinging scene and I've met some lovely people, but I've been single for over 2 years and wouldn't mind meeting someone special!
So my question is, if I meet someone I really like do I tell them that I'm a swinger?
I would quit the scene for the right person, but I would worry that if I told them they would be put off (someone I dated in the past was put off when they found out how often I masturbated?! Apparently it was intimidating) or that they would treat me like a girl they could fuck but not 'girlfriend material'. I hate keeping secrets so I would never swing behinds someone's back.
What are people's experiences?!"
Why not find some one in the swinging scene xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hey everyone! So I can't imagine I'm the first to post a thread regarding this topic and I apologise if it's already been done to death.
Basically I'm very new to the swinging scene and I've met some lovely people, but I've been single for over 2 years and wouldn't mind meeting someone special!
So my question is, if I meet someone I really like do I tell them that I'm a swinger?
I would quit the scene for the right person, but I would worry that if I told them they would be put off (someone I dated in the past was put off when they found out how often I masturbated?! Apparently it was intimidating) or that they would treat me like a girl they could fuck but not 'girlfriend material'. I hate keeping secrets so I would never swing behinds someone's back.
What are people's experiences?!
Why not find some one in the swinging scene xx
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey everyone! So I can't imagine I'm the first to post a thread regarding this topic and I apologise if it's already been done to death.
Basically I'm very new to the swinging scene and I've met some lovely people, but I've been single for over 2 years and wouldn't mind meeting someone special!
So my question is, if I meet someone I really like do I tell them that I'm a swinger?
I would quit the scene for the right person, but I would worry that if I told them they would be put off (someone I dated in the past was put off when they found out how often I masturbated?! Apparently it was intimidating) or that they would treat me like a girl they could fuck but not 'girlfriend material'. I hate keeping secrets so I would never swing behinds someone's back.
What are people's experiences?!
Why not find some one in the swinging scene xx
"
Blushing miss xx |
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"I'd imagine you could find a partner who is also a swinger pretty easily... "
Nope...tbh, I'd quite like to meet someone open to the idea of a closer relationship...have feelings for each other n what not and swing together. But single guys just don't seem to want to (not that ive met many out of clubs tbh)
They put it quite clear, in a roundabout way, early on. Which is fine...i have a choice, but, well, for me, that's why its just easier to meet in clubs only.
Crystal clear then.
I guess I just need to meet more single guys out of clubs perhaps...up the chances?!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd imagine you could find a partner who is also a swinger pretty easily...
Nope...tbh, I'd quite like to meet someone open to the idea of a closer relationship...have feelings for each other n what not and swing together. But single guys just don't seem to want to (not that ive met many out of clubs tbh)
They put it quite clear, in a roundabout way, early on. Which is fine...i have a choice, but, well, for me, that's why its just easier to meet in clubs only.
Crystal clear then.
I guess I just need to meet more single guys out of clubs perhaps...up the chances?!
"
I think honesty in this case isn't a good thing if you are looking for a good guy he doesn't want to know what you've been up to and as a gentleman shouldn't tell you what he's been up to xxx but if the relationship is to be one where you carry on doing this but together I don't see that as having longevity  |
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Mrs here. I was a single bi fem swinger before I met Mr away from swinging. I told him about it on the first date, with the thinking that he would take it in his stride if it had any chance of going any further. I'm a big believer in honesty from the off anyway. Been together nearly two years now and I still don't feel the want or need to play with other guys (my choice). He is fully supportive of my bisexuality, which is why we are on here. |
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What kinda edgit was put off bye d amount of times u played with urself . He was not for u anyway , it's his loss any guy worth his salt won't look at his gfs history n just drop her cos of it . If d pair of u get on n d chemistery is right n there's luv in d air I say go for it . But b carefull if ur in luv u might get hurt I did very badly . |
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Ur putting to much thought into it when d right guy comes along r gal whatever u will know n they won't even think about what u were doing , like d guy was probably with a good few women so stop worrying why should u tel him about ur history he more than likely has something similar . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd imagine you could find a partner who is also a swinger pretty easily...
Nope...tbh, I'd quite like to meet someone open to the idea of a closer relationship...have feelings for each other n what not and swing together. But single guys just don't seem to want to (not that ive met many out of clubs tbh)
They put it quite clear, in a roundabout way, early on. Which is fine...i have a choice, but, well, for me, that's why its just easier to meet in clubs only.
Crystal clear then.
I guess I just need to meet more single guys out of clubs perhaps...up the chances?!
"
Most women say there are getting too many messages to reply to on here! None of those guys are also open to a relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd imagine you could find a partner who is also a swinger pretty easily...
Nope...tbh, I'd quite like to meet someone open to the idea of a closer relationship...have feelings for each other n what not and swing together. But single guys just don't seem to want to (not that ive met many out of clubs tbh)
They put it quite clear, in a roundabout way, early on. Which is fine...i have a choice, but, well, for me, that's why its just easier to meet in clubs only.
Crystal clear then.
I guess I just need to meet more single guys out of clubs perhaps...up the chances?!
I think honesty in this case isn't a good thing if you are looking for a good guy he doesn't want to know what you've been up to and as a gentleman shouldn't tell you what he's been up to xxx but if the relationship is to be one where you carry on doing this but together I don't see that as having longevity "
There are plenty of couples on here that met swinging and they have been together ages. Why would it lack longevity? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all you replies everyone!
In terms of meeting someone on here I just thought that if a guy is on here he's looking for fun not a relationship! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all you replies everyone!
In terms of meeting someone on here I just thought that if a guy is on here he's looking for fun not a relationship! "
Some are, some aren't. There are other single women that put on their profile that they were looking for the potential for a relationship and it's worked for them. At the end of the day, there are a lot more women on here than men so the odds are in your favour... |
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I think that swinging and casual sex are very similar, so your past is your business.
Once your new relationship becomes exclusive then the swinging should stop.
In time you get to know each other and develop as a couple and you will know what to do.
Good luck |
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Technically I don't really see the distinction if you only 'swing' when you're single.
In this case surely you're no different from any single person who had casual sex each weekend?
I would have thought the only issue arises for those who wish to continue swinging, which is understandably tricky with a new relationship, since you haven't yet built the trust that 'traditional' swingers have.
So really the question becomes "How soon should I tell a new partner how many people I've slept with?" Which probably isn't on a first date...
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I much prefer honesty in my intimate relationships, but it seems a lot of people prefer not to know what they can't handle."
Sadly, I have found this to be true, too. |
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Firstly, decide which us more important to you, the relationship or swinging and don't jeopardise the one that you don't want to lose.
If you do want to bring get it up, talk about being highly sexed, adventurous etc to bring it into the conversation and inevitably he will ask what you have done in the past. Start with telling about milder stuff, outdoors etc, ask him about what hes done, to gauge the reaction and not focus totally on your activities and in increase the level as you feel comfortable and appropriate. Don't forget the term 'swinging' might have adverse connotations for some and you might be better off describing it as a threesome. What guy wouldn't like the idea of mff?? You could also talk about stuff as fantasies initially, rather than what you have actually done. Good luck! |
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"Hey everyone! So I can't imagine I'm the first to post a thread regarding this topic and I apologise if it's already been done to death.
Basically I'm very new to the swinging scene and I've met some lovely people, but I've been single for over 2 years and wouldn't mind meeting someone special!
So my question is, if I meet someone I really like do I tell them that I'm a swinger?
I would quit the scene for the right person, but I would worry that if I told them they would be put off (someone I dated in the past was put off when they found out how often I masturbated?! Apparently it was intimidating) or that they would treat me like a girl they could fuck but not 'girlfriend material'. I hate keeping secrets so I would never swing behinds someone's back.
What are people's experiences?!"
it really depends on the person of i am honest. I knew my ex was a swinger even before i was with her or a swinger myself.
The only person who knows what advauce to take would be your self as each persons have differing levels of acceptance and nonacceptance each to their own in other words.
I did not mind my gf swinging i found it positively arpusing knowing she was swinging but some people may find it off putting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What about if you found someone from the site?
Not specifically offering myself as I'm probably too old lol! (If I was younger then......?)
But I'm sure you will get offers from this forum...just take care they don't take advantage of your loving nature? xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would not blurt out "oh by the way I am a swinger" on the first date. However after a few dates my general attitude towards love and lust would be very apparrent. Any potential partner who was still seeing me after 2 or 3 dates would not be surprised to learn I enjoyed swinging if they had not already worked it out. If my general demeanor and attitude towards love lust and sexualatity upset them they would have dumped me very early in the relationship which would be for the best as our mindsets are obviously different and a relationship was unlikely to work.
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
I agree with Sexywild. Drop hints. Also try to convince him that it his idea to swing. Or at least he was first. Learnt this on a course people are more saceptable to ideas if they think they in control of them and if tgey believed they came up with it.
Also shhh there are a lit of things us men do not know about women it might be that we just do not know talk about things so when it does happen we fond it surprising. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in the same boat.... I'm leaning towards not telling them, and if the sex life dies down a little in the coming years I'll bring it up then. I'd rather have love than fun sex."
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