FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Initial Contact
Initial Contact
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Always struggle at this step. I always attach face pics but never know what to say to couples who I am messaging.
Any tips would be greatly appreciated. My messages tend to just get read or deleted....
HELP pleaseeeeeeeeee  |
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"Youve had 4 meets in 9 months your doing better than most single guys... you must be doing somthing right "
I never quite understand these pleas for help from those who clearly don't need it.
Attention-seeking methinks |
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"Come on mate, you state on your profile you've been on here for years! You know how this site works!
Drop the look at me bollox!!"
There's been a rash of these look-at-me threads today...a couple got removed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow a mixed bag of "advice" here in the "swinging support and advice section". Yes I have been on here years but with little if any success. Hence why I asked fellow members for their "support and advice". There was no hidden agenda to my post at all. I just wanted to know what to put in my first message as I struggle.
Apologies if this offended but if it did why read it?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's difficult to say,but definitely one liners and over long rambling waffle, tend to be deleted.
When guy's start talking like stories in a porn mag, saying I am going to do this or that...
Try to be yourself, a little humour helps, showing that you have read our profile.
But above everything else address both of the couple.
Our single biggest thing for instantly deleting is when a guy sends a message aimed solely at her.
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"Wow a mixed bag of "advice" here in the "swinging support and advice section". Yes I have been on here years but with little if any success. Hence why I asked fellow members for their "support and advice". There was no hidden agenda to my post at all. I just wanted to know what to put in my first message as I struggle.
Apologies if this offended but if it did why read it?
"
No matter what, make sure you ignore the post from me.....oh wait!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow a mixed bag of "advice" here in the "swinging support and advice section". Yes I have been on here years but with little if any success. Hence why I asked fellow members for their "support and advice". There was no hidden agenda to my post at all. I just wanted to know what to put in my first message as I struggle.
Apologies if this offended but if it did why read it?
"
I didn't take it as a look at me thread and even if it was, so what?
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always struggle at this step. I always attach face pics but never know what to say to couples who I am messaging.
Any tips would be greatly appreciated. My messages tend to just get read or deleted....
HELP pleaseeeeeeeeee read the profile and send a message using the information that hopefully coincides with what you want to and a bit of humour is good and send a face pic no cock pics and be patient all good things come to those who wait       "
Definitely, really annoying when you get a message, barely had chance to read it and another pop's up, then another one and so on.....
Also we get messages from people paying compliments. We try to be polite and say thanks.
This isn't an instant invitation to come round and bang the Mrs up the arse.
It's a polite thanks.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Make the focus of the (short) message about the person your'e contacting, not about yourself....
....use their profile to send a personalised message...."
never looked at it like this. thank you |
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"Make the focus of the (short) message about the person your'e contacting, not about yourself....
....use their profile to send a personalised message....
never looked at it like this. thank you "
What did you think profiles were for? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A well written message needs answering. Often guys say they think it's rude when we don't reply but, apart from the logistics of replying to so many, it's often because the initial message didn't merit a reply.
Hey
Hi
Wow you're hot
What you doing?
What u into?
These are not conversation starters. They're zero effort, just ignore me messages.
Wow, your legs are amazing; this might get you a thank you but nothing more.
I just scanned back over my inbox. The messages I replied to mostly mentioned my name, spelled correctly, in the first few words and they asked me something or told me about something actually worth talking about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow a mixed bag of "advice" here in the "swinging support and advice section". Yes I have been on here years but with little if any success. Hence why I asked fellow members for their "support and advice". There was no hidden agenda to my post at all. I just wanted to know what to put in my first message as I struggle.
Apologies if this offended but if it did why read it?
"
First message must be:
Polite....address them both!
Specific....relating to their requirements/desires and yours, which should be a good match. Don't pretend to be what you are not just to try and get a reply.
Timely......often better to wait until they are signifying they are looking for a meet, or be clear that you are in no rush and will meet (offer social first?) at their pace and when they are ready.
.
Fewer, well targeted messages will bring more success and less frustration than a scattergun approach. And NEVER cut and paste!
There you go...proper advice! |
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The last two replies were the most grounded and detailed BS-free responses I've seen from people who walk the walk. Well,done Worcester and Rachel makes a refreshing change to read sensible advice instead of the usual fantasy- based conceptual toss in 'ere.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The last two replies were the most grounded and detailed BS-free responses I've seen from people who walk the walk. Well,done Worcester and Rachel makes a refreshing change to read sensible advice instead of the usual fantasy- based conceptual toss in 'ere. "
Thanks for that...we try! |
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No problem. Makes a BIG change to hear experience based responses as opposed to the usual bland, XHamster plot-based bolleaux sourced in the land of Fab.
You do realise with that level of honesty, you'll never get anywhere from now on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No problem. Makes a BIG change to hear experience based responses as opposed to the usual bland, XHamster plot-based bolleaux sourced in the land of Fab.
You do realise with that level of honesty, you'll never get anywhere from now on? "
Lol....I'll take my chances....it worked last night and I now have a 24 yr old messaging me on whatsapp lol! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The last two replies were the most grounded and detailed BS-free responses I've seen from people who walk the walk. Well,done Worcester and Rachel makes a refreshing change to read sensible advice instead of the usual fantasy- based conceptual toss in 'ere. "
Ta. I have my sensible moments. They don't last long though.
You spelt my name incorrectly, by the way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A well written message needs answering. Often guys say they think it's rude when we don't reply but, apart from the logistics of replying to so many, it's often because the initial message didn't merit a reply.
Hey
Hi
Wow you're hot
What you doing?
What u into?
These are not conversation starters. They're zero effort, just ignore me messages.
Wow, your legs are amazing; this might get you a thank you but nothing more.
I just scanned back over my inbox. The messages I replied to mostly mentioned my name, spelled correctly, in the first few words and they asked me something or told me about something actually worth talking about. "
Bad grammar is a huge turn off for Mrs.
She is a self proclaimed grammar nazi lol.
Unfortunately I do most of the posts on the forum and she doesn't proof read them, if she did she'd probably have kittens with my spelling and grammar.
But if we get a message with speeling mistackes andverypoor grammar thats always aturn oof.
With spell check on nearly all phone's and computers there really is no excuse.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You spelt my name incorrectly, by the way
I knew that!
Erm .. Ok. You misspelled Somerset? Does that count for anything? "
Lol, touché.
I hadn't noticed; the text is too small on my phone without glasses. The r is next to the t so miss banana fingers here hit the incorrect key.
Thanks for spotting it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A well written message needs answering. Often guys say they think it's rude when we don't reply but, apart from the logistics of replying to so many, it's often because the initial message didn't merit a reply.
Hey
Hi
Wow you're hot
What you doing?
What u into?
These are not conversation starters. They're zero effort, just ignore me messages.
Wow, your legs are amazing; this might get you a thank you but nothing more.
I just scanned back over my inbox. The messages I replied to mostly mentioned my name, spelled correctly, in the first few words and they asked me something or told me about something actually worth talking about.
Bad grammar is a huge turn off for Mrs.
She is a self proclaimed grammar nazi lol.
Unfortunately I do most of the posts on the forum and she doesn't proof read them, if she did she'd probably have kittens with my spelling and grammar.
But if we get a message with speeling mistackes andverypoor grammar thats always aturn oof.
With spell check on nearly all phone's and computers there really is no excuse.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wow a mixed bag of "advice" here in the "swinging support and advice section". Yes I have been on here years but with little if any success. Hence why I asked fellow members for their "support and advice". There was no hidden agenda to my post at all. I just wanted to know what to put in my first message as I struggle.
Apologies if this offended but if it did why read it?
First message must be:
Polite....address them both!
Specific....relating to their requirements/desires and yours, which should be a good match. Don't pretend to be what you are not just to try and get a reply.
Timely......often better to wait until they are signifying they are looking for a meet, or be clear that you are in no rush and will meet (offer social first?) at their pace and when they are ready.
.
Fewer, well targeted messages will bring more success and less frustration than a scattergun approach. And NEVER cut and paste!
There you go...proper advice!"
|
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"Wow a mixed bag of "advice" here in the "swinging support and advice section". Yes I have been on here years but with little if any success. Hence why I asked fellow members for their "support and advice". There was no hidden agenda to my post at all. I just wanted to know what to put in my first message as I struggle.
Apologies if this offended but if it did why read it?
I didn't take it as a look at me thread and even if it was, so what?
"
I'll loan you belle. The 3 of you can have a ffm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A well written message needs answering. Often guys say they think it's rude when we don't reply but, apart from the logistics of replying to so many, it's often because the initial message didn't merit a reply.
Hey
Hi
Wow you're hot
What you doing?
What u into?
These are not conversation starters. They're zero effort, just ignore me messages.
Wow, your legs are amazing; this might get you a thank you but nothing more.
I just scanned back over my inbox. The messages I replied to mostly mentioned my name, spelled correctly, in the first few words and they asked me something or told me about something actually worth talking about. "
Yes this exactly, "how r u" or "are u ok" also, I don't even open them it's an instant delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No problem. Makes a BIG change to hear experience based responses as opposed to the usual bland, XHamster plot-based bolleaux sourced in the land of Fab.
You do realise with that level of honesty, you'll never get anywhere from now on?
Lol....I'll take my chances....it worked last night and I now have a 24 yr old messaging me on whatsapp lol!"
I'll take him off your hands if he looks younger? Lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No problem. Makes a BIG change to hear experience based responses as opposed to the usual bland, XHamster plot-based bolleaux sourced in the land of Fab.
You do realise with that level of honesty, you'll never get anywhere from now on?
Lol....I'll take my chances....it worked last night and I now have a 24 yr old messaging me on whatsapp lol!
I'll take him off your hands if he looks younger? Lol x"
Christ I wis I was 20 Sam |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No problem. Makes a BIG change to hear experience based responses as opposed to the usual bland, XHamster plot-based bolleaux sourced in the land of Fab.
You do realise with that level of honesty, you'll never get anywhere from now on?
Lol....I'll take my chances....it worked last night and I now have a 24 yr old messaging me on whatsapp lol!
I'll take him off your hands if he looks younger? Lol x"
Haha...that was me...the 24 yr old was F! |
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