FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > verification?

verification?

By *izzy. OP Woman over a year ago

Stoke area

I recently had a great meet with someone I have known for a while. He was very upset that I did not write him a verification.

I explained that I no longer write them for repeat meets. However he insisted that only uncaring bitches do not write verifications. In his eyes if I did not write one it showed I did not enjoy the experience etc etc etc.

I tried explaining the meet is way more important than the veri.....but I was left wondering how other people see verifications.

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Ha rude!

I really don't think that verifications are anything more than "they are who they say there are and turned up"

Sadly it sounds like he is more intersted in notches than the ladies he sees. If I were you there wouldn't be any more meets with the guy.

Nita

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

Two from the same person can be good, shows people want to see you again.

But after that it gets pointless.

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We tend to not write verifications for repeat meets unless the previous meet was only a social or the other people haven't met anyone for a while... just to show they're still meeting.

Cal

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

[Removed by poster at 30/12/15 20:28:14]

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By *ordonBennettMan over a year ago

dover

[Removed by poster at 30/12/15 20:31:48]

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By *ungBlackTopMan over a year ago

salford

Too many verifications are a HUGE turn off for me as I always wonder why they need to meet lots and lots of people for sex and not repeat the experience with the person they've met?

Rather see a tasteful very than one that states you've been fucked here, there and everywhere and by everyone. However, I know that's not the fabswingers way. People only wish to meet those people who have met hundreds (not literally) of people with hundreds of verifications.

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By *ordonBennettMan over a year ago

dover

" However, I know that's not the fabswingers way. People only wish to meet those people who have met hundreds (not literally) of people with hundreds of verifications."

Have people really told you that's who they wish to meet?

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

A verification gives feedback that the person is fun & that you had fun, not doing a verification or refusing to put their ver'i up shows that you are not interested in that person.

If you refuse to verify them and refuse to put their ver'i up then does it show a contradiction to your demands that they keep meeting you in the future.

Its not notches, it's acknowledgement of an amazing time that both enjoyed, but sadly one wanted to hide that fact from the world for some reason.

but for me veri's show you had a great time & usually are looking forward to future meets in sexy anticipation.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A verification is to verify that the person is real... no need to keep giving them every time you meet them its not there to tell people how great the person is lol i hate seeing full blow by blow verifications.. we just need to know the person is real lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ha rude!

I really don't think that verifications are anything more than "they are who they say there are and turned up"

Sadly it sounds like he is more intersted in notches than the ladies he sees. If I were you there wouldn't be any more meets with the guy.

Nita"

Totally agree

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By *ungBlackTopMan over a year ago

salford

" However, I know that's not the fabswingers way. People only wish to meet those people who have met hundreds (not literally) of people with hundreds of verifications.

Have people really told you that's who they wish to meet?"

They write on their profiles "people with verifications only" makes you think you have to go out and sleep with lots of people off here or you can't join the gang.

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By *ungBlackTopMan over a year ago

salford

"A verification is to verify that the person is real... no need to keep giving them every time you meet them its not there to tell people how great the person is lol i hate seeing full blow by blow verifications.. we just need to know the person is real lol"

Agreed

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By *ordonBennettMan over a year ago

dover

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I recently had a great meet with someone I have known for a while. He was very upset that I did not write him a verification.

I tried explaining the meet is way more important than the veri.....but I was left wondering how other people see verifications.

Does he not have many veri's?

As a single man,especially when you're first on the site,verifications are very important...

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I will give a social meet verification if they don't have any, then if we do meet for play I will verify again, if we meet after that then no I will not verify again as it looks like pissing up the lamppost lol

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I recently had a great meet with someone I have known for a while. He was very upset that I did not write him a verification.

I tried explaining the meet is way more important than the veri.....but I was left wondering how other people see verifications.

Does he not have many veri's?

As a single man,especially when you're first on the site,verifications are very important..."

As we found out last night

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By *ordonBennettMan over a year ago

dover

"I recently had a great meet with someone I have known for a while. He was very upset that I did not write him a verification.

I tried explaining the meet is way more important than the veri.....but I was left wondering how other people see verifications.

Does he not have many veri's?

As a single man,especially when you're first on the site,verifications are very important..."

Errr...yes....that's true, they are.

But that really doesn't excuse that kind of behaviour...

Does it?

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By *ndykinkyMan over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT

Why did he want another verification ?

The first verified he was real and you met. Possibly, if the first was a social meet then verify an actual play meet.

I believe that the purpose of the verification is to say the person is real and genuine. Possibly go further and say a good time was had.

But why further verifications ? He is real so what would it achieve ?

It isn't about the number of verifications but how many different people have verified them and what is actually said.

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By *ngeluk69Woman over a year ago

Near enough

Blimey if I wrote verifications every time I met my FB it would be extremely boring for people to read, I prefer to have fun and enjoy spending time with him, rather than thinking what I could possibly write about him.

I've verified him, he has done me and we meet rgularly, no need to do it every time we get together, we know we are genuine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Every verification thread always includes peeps saying "verifications are for this and that"......

Wrong

How an individual uses the site including verifying is entirely up to them

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

So you met him, had an amazing time and wanted to see him again in the future then refused to put his verification up or even write him one in return?

No wonder he felt hurt by your behaviour & called you a bitch, but as you said it was your choice not to verify him while wanting to keep meeting him for even more sexy fun in the future.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So you met him, had an amazing time and wanted to see him again in the future then refused to put his verification up or even write him one in return?

No wonder he felt hurt by your behaviour & called you a bitch, but as you said it was your choice not to verify him while wanting to keep meeting him for even more sexy fun in the future."

The OP said she didn't do veris for repeat meets,so I took it that she has verified him before. I'm not sure why he would expect a veri after every meet with her.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I recently had a great meet with someone I have known for a while. He was very upset that I did not write him a verification.

I tried explaining the meet is way more important than the veri.....but I was left wondering how other people see verifications.

Well all that's important here is the fact that he clearly sees it differently to you .

It doesn't really matter what we all think does it ?

We have a few people who like repeat veri's and always do one . It's just a few minutes to write it after all .

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By *ethnmelvCouple over a year ago

Cardiff

We did a veri for a guy we met, but got nothing back. Concluded that it wasn't a big issue, but decided not to meet him again. It's best not to take it too seriously. Just enjoy the moment and move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I verify for social meets including those who attend my organised socials and I verify for play meets however I will not repeat verify as I think this is a huge turn off and kind of like a "hands off he's/she's/they're mine" feel...very off putting to see multiple veris from same people...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So you met him, had an amazing time and wanted to see him again in the future then refused to put his verification up or even write him one in return?

No wonder he felt hurt by your behaviour & called you a bitch, but as you said it was your choice not to verify him while wanting to keep meeting him for even more sexy fun in the future."

She had already verified him from a previous meet.. the guy was expecting her to big him up with a other veri

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally agree! We live in hope to join the 'verified' gang soon.

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

Looking at her account she does do veri's for lots of her repeat meets, so for some other reason she appears not to have wanted to acknowledge having an amazing time with him, which is sad but up to her.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Looking at her account she does do veri's for lots of her repeat meets, so for some other reason she appears not to have wanted to acknowledge having an amazing time with him, which is sad but up to her."

Hey, there is no need to get so uptight about it. Your comments have been so negative towards the OP. At the end of the day, she told the guy that she does not reverify someone for repeat meets so how does that make her a bitch or sad?.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well if thats anything to go by...it smacks to me that theres some internal verification war going on...and most likely if someone starts calling a 'friend' they have sex with a bitch..then I fear some of the verifyees might not be the people best suited for this game.

one might remember 'revenge verifications'......or is that revengeifications..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess some guys want to get a second veri from the same person, as it makes them look like they are super studs and the girl is gagging for more....are well they need an ego boost !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Uncaring bitches??? That's a bit harsh!! I've written repeat ones but not every single time I've met someone, with one guy, if I wrote a verification every time I'd seen him it would be the longest profile page in history!!

Maybe he felt insecure and wanted written confirmation you'd enjoyed it???

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By *izzy. OP Woman over a year ago

Stoke area

After joining chats in the forums I rethought the way I saw veris, which is why I no longer write them for repeat meets. I don't want it to appear that I own people.

Thanks for all your comments. It has reassured me that I am not an uncaring heartless Bitch.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

After joining chats in the forums I rethought the way I saw veris, which is why I no longer write them for repeat meets. I don't want it to appear that I own people.

Thanks for all your comments. It has reassured me that I am not an uncaring heartless Bitch.

Don't worry about it! If a woman verifies after each repeat meet your marking you territory and pissing up a lamppost and if you don't your obviously a bitch....god you cant win on here

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

I verify people a maximum of two times. If we have a social meet first I will write a nice veri to say that the lady/couple are real and nice company on a social meet (assuming they were real, and nice company).

Then if we play on a later occasion I will write a second veri to say we've met twice and that they are fun in the bedroom. That shows they are reliable and...fun.

I like it if ladies/couples do the same for me but it's not essential. And more than two veris for the same person seems a but excessive. I think a guy who was seeing my wife regularly verified her four times and she chose her favourite two to publish.

Sounds like you have a collector of notches on bedposts.

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

[Removed by poster at 30/12/15 21:35:40]

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

For me a veri is to say that they are the person in the profile pics, they turned up and were a decent human being.

So if I have already veried them I don't see the need to repeat it.

Oh and if anyone spoke to me like that bloke did you over a repeat veri - an uncaring bitch, he would be on my shit list.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I recently had a great meet with someone I have known for a while. He was very upset that I did not write him a verification.

I tried explaining the meet is way more important than the veri.....but I was left wondering how other people see verifications.

You don't need to verify someone as genuine a second time...It just becomes a performance review...Some kind of trip advisor..

If he puts that much store in one, it would seem rather insecure and needy, surely what you said to him face to face or your actual reactions in person would mean more?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I recently had a great meet with someone I have known for a while. He was very upset that I did not write him a verification.

I tried explaining the meet is way more important than the veri.....but I was left wondering how other people see verifications.

Does he not have many veri's?

As a single man,especially when you're first on the site,verifications are very important...

Errr...yes....that's true, they are.

But that really doesn't excuse that kind of behaviour...

Does it?"

Absolutely not,and I didn't imply it did.

People use veri's as they wish,but it is still an important tool,at least when you first join the site,in showing people you are genuine...

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

I am the same as you I don't see the need to say I have met "X" several times in the last few months by writing a verification as it is almost like 'marking them as yours'

Many of our verifications are from the socials that's are organised where no play has been allowed so they verify that we are genuine there are a few from when we have met and played with others.

As for repeat verifications I find it hard knowing what to say other than what was said the first time so generally stopped writing repeat verifications.

If we receive verifications from people we have met a few times I'll not show the originals and only show the latest one, just to show that we are active on the site and not just here perving.

Some treat verifications as 'notches' on bed posts that like others we find this off putting.

Much like others have mentioned though we all look at and use verifications differently.

Mr S

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By *ndykinkyMan over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT

"So you met him, had an amazing time and wanted to see him again in the future then refused to put his verification up or even write him one in return?

No wonder he felt hurt by your behaviour & called you a bitch, but as you said it was your choice not to verify him while wanting to keep meeting him for even more sexy fun in the future."

She met and verified he was real, a second verification doesn't make him more real.

If he was just after more verifications then better to meet other people maybe.

At least then it is other people's opinions.

Two people could be a married couple giving each other verifications or someone with two profiles giving themselves verifications.

Accept them for what they are, but don't expect one and don't get upset if you don't get one because that reflects badly on you.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan over a year ago

Luton

It would be against site rules for partners to verify each other.

I suppose re-verifying someone allows them to show a more recent veri. It's nice sometimes to read "Met this guy/girl/couple several times, they are always on time and great to be with" You know you're chatting with someone reliable then.

But there is no need to verify each meeting. some people do meet regularly. I have genuine friends on here who I could probably verify 60 or 70 times a year because we see each other socially more than once a week. But I don't...nor do they veri me every week.

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

None of us own the other (well except masters & subs) which is why we love swinging so much, great friends & playmates give us soooo much pleasure in many ways.

Glad you both had a fabtastic time, may even more & better times roll for us all in 2016 & beyond whether we verify those playmates or not!!

;)

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I have enough so don't care if I get any or not. Sometimes I say 'don't bother' if it's a repeat meet or sometimes they don't bother. Certainly not the be all and end all.

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By *izzy. OP Woman over a year ago

Stoke area

"People use veri's as they wish,but it is still an important tool,at least when you first join the site"

I agree completely that verifications are important for everyone especially single guys who are new to the site. I always verify first meets including socials to say they are real and do exist. If this leads to a second meet when we play, I usually do a second veri. But verifying beyond that feels like someone is collecting badges for boy scouts.

This guy is not new to the site and already has two, if not more verifications from me, over a long period of time. Hence no veri necessary.

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By *manda63Woman over a year ago

Southampton

""People use veri's as they wish,but it is still an important tool,at least when you first join the site"

This guy is not new to the site and already has two, if not more verifications from me, over a long period of time. Hence no veri necessary.

I have some repeat veris on my single profile. I considered myself lucky to get any at all. His comments to you were a bit off in my opinion and yes only one is needed

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By *aeriequeenWoman over a year ago

Manchester

I normally cause trouble for a guy (so they say) if I verify them as ladies get nasty. So im reconsidering verifying anyone unless they really want one!

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

Being a guy it's more important to have recent veri's.

On my couples profile we look & see not only if people have veri's but if they have recent veri's, and if they meet the same people regularly.

If they meet the same people regularly rather than lots of different people it shows us that they have good friendships, are reliable and are the sort of people that others like to see regularly...

But someone or a couple with only a couple or lots of different veri's does not show to us that they are good at long term friendships or keeping playmates happy ...

This does not exactly put us off, but points us more to choosing those who are fun and have regular playmates, keeping them less at risk.....

but also showing that those people want to be seen playing together and are good friends, we as a couple like good friends & want sexy, fun and playful people like ourselves to play wih regularly ...

What do other people think about that?

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Ooooh! Check out my status!

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

How do you cause trouble, don't girls like other girls verifying guys?

Sorry I don't quite see what you mean, hope the guy's don't mind being verified by you!?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To us Veri's are just that, proving someone is genuine and real, it's not really for giving feedback of how good a time was had, so if they turnup and are who they said they were then a veri is in order, but don't see the point is loads for multiple meets, you can't be more real than, well.... real

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Being a guy it's more important to have recent veri's.

On my couples profile we look & see not only if people have veri's but if they have recent veri's, and if they meet the same people regularly.

If they meet the same people regularly rather than lots of different people it shows us that they have good friendships, are reliable and are the sort of people that others like to see regularly...

But someone or a couple with only a couple or lots of different veri's does not show to us that they are good at long term friendships or keeping playmates happy ...

This does not exactly put us off, but points us more to choosing those who are fun and have regular playmates, keeping them less at risk.....

but also showing that those people want to be seen playing together and are good friends, we as a couple like good friends & want sexy, fun and playful people like ourselves to play wih regularly ...

What do other people think about that?"

I dont mean this offensively but it comes across to me that you are more interested in the verifications than anything else. At the end of the day I have 5 verificatuons from ages ago but just because of that, it does not mean that I do not have good friendships here with people and would be less reliable.

Also, this thread was opened by an OP who was called a bitch for telling a guy she would not reverify him and was called a bitch so you have kind of gone off track don't you think?

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By *aeriequeenWoman over a year ago

Manchester

"How do you cause trouble, don't girls like other girls verifying guys?

Sorry I don't quite see what you mean, hope the guy's don't mind being verified by you!?!"

Apparently theres quite a lot of jealousy..or they didnt like me..I have no idea!

One guy in particular happily verified me after a good night and I him. He displayed it for a grand total of five minutes before hiding it and putting up a status about missing out on a meet and being gutted. We're no longer in contact.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In my personal opinion, I want someone who would like to meet me for the person I am, not based on what other people say on a verification. I like to keep what I do on Fab private as this might be a swingers site but I dont want everyone to see the sordid details of my encounters.

I will only verify on a social and then once met only. This will be explained before any initial meet takes place.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/15 22:37:27]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Being a guy it's more important to have recent veri's.

On my couples profile we look & see not only if people have veri's but if they have recent veri's, and if they meet the same people regularly.

If they meet the same people regularly rather than lots of different people it shows us that they have good friendships, are reliable and are the sort of people that others like to see regularly...

But someone or a couple with only a couple or lots of different veri's does not show to us that they are good at long term friendships or keeping playmates happy ...

This does not exactly put us off, but points us more to choosing those who are fun and have regular playmates, keeping them less at risk.....

but also showing that those people want to be seen playing together and are good friends, we as a couple like good friends & want sexy, fun and playful people like ourselves to play wih regularly ...

What do other people think about that?"

I think people put far too much trust in veri's. People have sex lives outside of Fab. Good grief.

OP if the guy said the words 'uncaring bitches' and acted the way you described, I wouldn't meet him again if it was me.

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

Sorry I thought the string was about verifications? or the title would be 'Bitch'?

Am interested in the person or couple who has the verifications & veri's and lack of them gives us an indication of what that person is like & if they are similar to us & people we may want to play with.

The more veri's someone has the more information we have to base our decision on ...

We may get 60 to 150 messages a day asking us to play, their profile & the veri's are the only indications we have on what they are like....

It's sort of like a sexy CV & you then decide who gets to play with you next based on who seems the best suited at that time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry I thought the string was about verifications? or the title would be 'Bitch'?

The more veri's someone has the more information we have to base our decision on ...

We may get 60 to 150 messages a day asking us to play, their profile & the veri's are the only indications we have on what they are like....

It's sort of like a sexy CV & you then decide who gets to play with you next based on who seems the best suited at that time.

Nice that you are so busy but I have that many messages a day myself but let us agree to disagree on this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have verified meets and they have not.

The only reason is that it show you are genuine and still "active" for the want of a better word

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By *ickeyMan over a year ago

Stroud

"Sorry I thought the string was about verifications? or the title would be 'Bitch'?

The more veri's someone has the more information we have to base our decision on ...

We may get 60 to 150 messages a day asking us to play, their profile & the veri's are the only indications we have on what they are like....

It's sort of like a sexy CV & you then decide who gets to play with you next based on who seems the best suited at that time.

Nice that you are so busy but I have that many messages a day myself but let us agree to disagree on this. "

It's easy for girls to get meets ... you can be inundated just for saying you have a slot which needs filling even if you have hardly any profile info, pics or veri's so to you it's not important..

But for guys battling to get noticed you need to be exceptional & stand out from the crowd to get noticed & have a chance to play ...

For us pictures, verifications & being special are very important to having any chance on fab...

I hope you can at least understand the argument that veri's are significantly more important for guys to have than for couples or single girls, as without them they have no chance on this site.