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married men
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
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"Oh hun. Hard one.
I'd stay outta the way til he has split up with her for his own reasons and sorted his shit out xx"
I'd agree with this and also be prepared for the likely shitstorm that often follows divorce. |
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
"
well for starters the winky face at the end is not helping your damsel in distress case is it? |
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
well for starters the winky face at the end is not helping your damsel in distress case is it? "
because she clearly doesn't give a f*ck,oops I wasn't supposed to be commenting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"theres an old saying that a man marrying his mistress is just creating a vacany..."
..and someone beat me to it!...old sayings are often full of shit, but in this instance,i have never seen a situation where this wasnt completely accurrate...but im assuming youre not an idiot, an already know this... |
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"The Winkie face is a typo sorry "
you do not come out of this smelling of roses no matter what happens.
scenario 1 you are branded a home wrecker/marriage breaker you stay with him he does same to you.
scenario 2 you walk away saying thanks but no thanks he sees you as the female equivalent of what males would call a wanker.
scenario 3 you convince him to stay with the wife you stay the side chick and you are settling for being a bit on the side. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
"
Tell him what you have written here. You also dont want to be named in a divorce if his wife finds out, assuming she doesnt already know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Winkie face is a typo sorry
you do not come out of this smelling of roses no matter what happens.
scenario 1 you are branded a home wrecker/marriage breaker you stay with him he does same to you.
scenario 2 you walk away saying thanks but no thanks he sees you as the female equivalent of what males would call a wanker.
scenario 3 you convince him to stay with the wife you stay the side chick and you are settling for being a bit on the side."
Scenario 1
He'll do the same to her? Why do people automatically jump to this conclusion ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place."
hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer  |
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"The Winkie face is a typo sorry
you do not come out of this smelling of roses no matter what happens.
scenario 1 you are branded a home wrecker/marriage breaker you stay with him he does same to you.
scenario 2 you walk away saying thanks but no thanks he sees you as the female equivalent of what males would call a wanker.
scenario 3 you convince him to stay with the wife you stay the side chick and you are settling for being a bit on the side.
Scenario 1
He'll do the same to her? Why do people automatically jump to this conclusion ?"
might be cliched but it seems to be the case more often than not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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'talking about divorce'...is a million miles away from actually divorcing....as he presumably spends his life lying to both of you, i would take anything he says with a massive pinch of salt...possibly feels he's near getting caught and is trying to get a safety net.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Winkie face is a typo sorry
you do not come out of this smelling of roses no matter what happens.
scenario 1 you are branded a home wrecker/marriage breaker you stay with him he does same to you.
scenario 2 you walk away saying thanks but no thanks he sees you as the female equivalent of what males would call a wanker.
scenario 3 you convince him to stay with the wife you stay the side chick and you are settling for being a bit on the side.
Scenario 1
He'll do the same to her? Why do people automatically jump to this conclusion ?"
People tend not to trust liars and think they'll repeat their behaviour. |
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer "
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab. |
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"The " now talking about divorce" may also be a ploy to hang onto you;
Perhaps he has detected ( or thinks) that you are losing interest;
So tells you he is thinking about divorce to keep you ....
"
Or maybe he really is thinking about divorce, after all, if he was truly happy and in love with his wife you would never have met him. You know him better than any of the people giving you advice on here and you know better than anyone else on here whether the only 3 possible scenarios are the ones stated but I would hazard there is at least a 4th equally likely scenario and that is that he does divorce his current wife, you and he find over time that there is more to your relationship than just the physical attraction and you both end up living together happy ever after.
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I believe it could be possible.  |
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"The " now talking about divorce" may also be a ploy to hang onto you;
Perhaps he has detected ( or thinks) that you are losing interest;
So tells you he is thinking about divorce to keep you ....
Or maybe he really is thinking about divorce, after all, if he was truly happy and in love with his wife you would never have met him. You know him better than any of the people giving you advice on here and you know better than anyone else on here whether the only 3 possible scenarios are the ones stated but I would hazard there is at least a 4th equally likely scenario and that is that he does divorce his current wife, you and he find over time that there is more to your relationship than just the physical attraction and you both end up living together happy ever after.
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I believe it could be possible. "
Yep! This can and does happen. People in unhappy marriages meet someone else and make a long lasting relationship with them
Life just doesn't go by numbers. |
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"The " now talking about divorce" may also be a ploy to hang onto you;
Perhaps he has detected ( or thinks) that you are losing interest;
So tells you he is thinking about divorce to keep you ....
Or maybe he really is thinking about divorce, after all, if he was truly happy and in love with his wife you would never have met him. You know him better than any of the people giving you advice on here and you know better than anyone else on here whether the only 3 possible scenarios are the ones stated but I would hazard there is at least a 4th equally likely scenario and that is that he does divorce his current wife, you and he find over time that there is more to your relationship than just the physical attraction and you both end up living together happy ever after.
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I believe it could be possible. "
However,she's already stated that she doesn't love him as much as he loves her. If it's not there after a year will it ever be,I doubt it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be super brave and call it a day. Don't be the reason he left. If he still leaves then he's left because he's not happy at home and should enjoy some time as 'him'.
If you guys are meant to be a couple, it will happen. Affairs are very different to relationships.
Be honest with him but more importantly be honest and kind with yourself.
Take care |
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"Just be honest with him about the way you feel.
Honest?!! As if this pair know the meaning of the word!"
Like no one else has ever distorted the truth or lived a secret. Very often in these situations the real lie and deceit is the marriage itself. |
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The words honesty and cheating on the same thread always makes me fucking laugh,I really must stop swearing! I'm sure it's become clear I fucking detest cheats and liars .
Just don't answer your door at 2 in the morning,he'll be standing the other side having left his wife with his suitcases and 3 kids in tow. Clearly I don't know if said person has children... |
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When you enter into any kind of long term friends with benefits arrangement there is always a chance that feelings may develop from one or both parties.
Most people after casual no strings sex think married people are the safest option, because they are supposed to love their spouse, so won't be wanting to run off with you any time soon, it isnt always the case. Sometimes they enter into these "affairs" as they don't want to leave the marriage, unless they have a fairly safe bet that they have another relationship to walk into, so staying in the marriage was always only ever the back up plan. |
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Also as the OP as now learnt the hard way (as she now risks being tarred as the 'home wrecker') married people come with one big string attached in the form of their spouse, so it is never truely no strings attached fun.
As with all things, if you aren't prepared for facing all the possible consequences of your actions, so you reach the point of asking the "what do I do now?" Type questions, then you probably shouldn't have been doing what you were in the first place  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the OP is enjoying the drama and is sharing it in the hope that we might enjoy it too. Don't think too hard coming up with solutions as I don't think that is what OP is looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of many reasons I stay away from married men and as others have said, what makes you think he wouldn't cheat on you if you started a relationship with him? Way too much hassle for me. |
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"The " now talking about divorce" may also be a ploy to hang onto you;
Perhaps he has detected ( or thinks) that you are losing interest;
So tells you he is thinking about divorce to keep you ....
Or maybe he really is thinking about divorce, after all, if he was truly happy and in love with his wife you would never have met him. You know him better than any of the people giving you advice on here and you know better than anyone else on here whether the only 3 possible scenarios are the ones stated but I would hazard there is at least a 4th equally likely scenario and that is that he does divorce his current wife, you and he find over time that there is more to your relationship than just the physical attraction and you both end up living together happy ever after.
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I believe it could be possible. "
Perhaps if the none of the 2 people involved in the affair were not on a swingers site they may stand a chance but the odds aren't great in reality. Nowhere has the OP voiced any concerns for the poor woman being cheated on. Or I may have missed that |
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"The " now talking about divorce" may also be a ploy to hang onto you;
Perhaps he has detected ( or thinks) that you are losing interest;
So tells you he is thinking about divorce to keep you ....
Or maybe he really is thinking about divorce, after all, if he was truly happy and in love with his wife you would never have met him. You know him better than any of the people giving you advice on here and you know better than anyone else on here whether the only 3 possible scenarios are the ones stated but I would hazard there is at least a 4th equally likely scenario and that is that he does divorce his current wife, you and he find over time that there is more to your relationship than just the physical attraction and you both end up living together happy ever after.
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I believe it could be possible.
Perhaps if the none of the 2 people involved in the affair were not on a swingers site they may stand a chance but the odds aren't great in reality. Nowhere has the OP voiced any concerns for the poor woman being cheated on. Or I may have missed that "
Assuming she is a "poor woman" she might feel she's well rid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab."
well you were obviously cheated on and perhaps that's now shaped the way you now perceive life ,you want NSA but eventually someone will come along you like and change your mind you won't know that till it happens  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab. well you were obviously cheated on and perhaps that's now shaped the way you now perceive life ,you want NSA but eventually someone will come along you like and change your mind you won't know that till it happens "
i don't see why someone must have been cheated on to have an opinion on cheaters.thats nonsense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab. well you were obviously cheated on and perhaps that's now shaped the way you now perceive life ,you want NSA but eventually someone will come along you like and change your mind you won't know that till it happens
i don't see why someone must have been cheated on to have an opinion on cheaters.thats nonsense."
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab. well you were obviously cheated on and perhaps that's now shaped the way you now perceive life ,you want NSA but eventually someone will come along you like and change your mind you won't know that till it happens "
No I haven't been cheated on and wouldn't cheat on my partner, I have morals and a conscience and treat others the way I would like to be treated ...There's no such thing as NSA when you're in a relationship as there's a little string that's called your wife or husband that's always attached. If your marriage is shit then fix it or leave it...It ain't rocket science. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
"
Give yourself a pat on the back for playing a part in ruining his marriage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
Give yourself a pat on the back for playing a part in ruining his marriage. "
I think he ruined it all by himself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
Give yourself a pat on the back for playing a part in ruining his marriage.
I think he ruined it all by himself."
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
Give yourself a pat on the back for playing a part in ruining his marriage.
I think he ruined it all by himself."
Exactly! He made the decision to stray away from his marriage and while there could be argument for this not being the current situation if the OP took the moral high ground and refused to cheat with him, she wouldn't have been able to do that if he was looking in the first place |
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"And why can't people put gaps between quotes and their replies as it looks like people have said things that are nothing to do with their original thread.
Eh!?  "
My original thread of one sentence now looks like a paragraph and my second thread now looks like an essay. If forumites don't read the post from the start (Some don't and just jump in with a comment) then it can totally change the meaning or intent of separate threads. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place."
Rearrange these words into a well known phrase or saying.
Horse.
Stable door.
Bolted.
Shut.
I believe that the op was looking for advice on the current situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab."
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now..... |
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now....."
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh."
Yeah, it is; a teensy weensy bit  But AOK if it is a bloke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op, have you shown the guy your verifications on here? "
As her "FB" pretty certain he will have! however, playing the cynical card perhaps his love is centred more around the OP's liberated lifestyle than the little woman at home who he's now bored with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nice to see the "other woman" shouldering all the blame as usual, not the one whose actually married and doing the cheating. 
Sounds messy to me OP, I'd get away from the situation before it gets more complicated for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh."
But it's ok to make an assumption about a situation you know nothing about, judge it and then have it as your go to, default setting for everyone?
Personally i don't have feel i have any right to make a judgement or pronouncement about something I know nothing about.
I simply associate with people who share my moral compass and ignore those who don't, simply allowing them to do their own thing.
Stoning for adultery in the middle east? It seems I'm going to have my work cut out.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Op, have you shown the guy your verifications on here?
As her "FB" pretty certain he will have! however, playing the cynical card perhaps his love is centred more around the OP's liberated lifestyle than the little woman at home who he's now bored with "
Why would you be pretty certain? I would think it pretty unlikely. Especially when he is being openly talked about in the forums. Just wondered if his love would be so strong after. Who knows |
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh.
But it's ok to make an assumption about a situation you know nothing about, judge it and then have it as your go to, default setting for everyone?
Personally i don't have feel i have any right to make a judgement or pronouncement about something I know nothing about.
I simply associate with people who share my moral compass and ignore those who don't, simply allowing them to do their own thing.
Stoning for adultery in the middle east? It seems I'm going to have my work cut out.
"
As far as I'm aware I've made no assumptions just stated facts as to what is right and wrong...Surely everyone's default setting should be the same...Do unto others as you would be done by.
How do we not know anything about the situation when the OP's post clearly states the situation she's in...He's married and cheating on his wife!!!
I suggest you get your compass re-tuned as your morals appear to be somewhat lacking. We might all be on a sex site together but there's a vast difference between NSA swinging and lying and cheating on a 'life partner' that exchanged wedding vows together.
It's a tough place to be a woman and hopefully slowly changing but I'd recommend keeping your internet history a secret if you do take up your (un)diplomatic post as ISIS would have you burning in a cage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe tell him it's up to him as to what he does but you'd like him to make the decision not based on you....if he has fell out of love with his wife then that's fine...you're happy to carry on seeing him but in the same capacity as you were before...if that's what you want ....he should not base the decision to leave on you as it could lead to resentment should he struggle with the break up or things don't go as smooth as he thought it would do! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh.
But it's ok to make an assumption about a situation you know nothing about, judge it and then have it as your go to, default setting for everyone?
Personally i don't have feel i have any right to make a judgement or pronouncement about something I know nothing about.
I simply associate with people who share my moral compass and ignore those who don't, simply allowing them to do their own thing.
Stoning for adultery in the middle east? It seems I'm going to have my work cut out.
As far as I'm aware I've made no assumptions just stated facts as to what is right and wrong...Surely everyone's default setting should be the same...Do unto others as you would be done by.
How do we not know anything about the situation when the OP's post clearly states the situation she's in...He's married and cheating on his wife!!!
I suggest you get your compass re-tuned as your morals appear to be somewhat lacking. We might all be on a sex site together but there's a vast difference between NSA swinging and lying and cheating on a 'life partner' that exchanged wedding vows together.
It's a tough place to be a woman and hopefully slowly changing but I'd recommend keeping your internet history a secret if you do take up your (un)diplomatic post as ISIS would have you burning in a cage."
I think you mean FACT, upper case adds so much more gravitas.
As I've tried to point out, these are your views, not everyone else's. As far as I'm aware, and I may not have got the memo, you don't speak for everyone. FACT. Although you may speak for some. Another FACT.
I guess we should all be eternally greatful to you for championing our voice though. Ta muchly.
Instead of trying to understand my point you choose to question my morals, which I'm quietly confident you know nothing about. Well done.
I sense you flailing your arms around, wildly striking out at anyone in range who's view differs from yours. The image makes me chuckle, for which I apologise.
In reference to the OP's position and my moral compass, I'm neither defending or agreeing, merely pointing out that we're in no position, nor were we, any of us, invited to judge.
Isis make some Fabbers look like moderates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe tell him it's up to him as to what he does but you'd like him to make the decision not based on you....if he has fell out of love with his wife then that's fine...you're happy to carry on seeing him but in the same capacity as you were before...if that's what you want ....he should not base the decision to leave on you as it could lead to resentment should he struggle with the break up or things don't go as smooth as he thought it would do! X "
This seems the most sensible answer to the issue and without the deal of judgmentalism ( made up word ) , bewildering tangents above... moral compass etc lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
Isis make some Fabbers look like moderates.
Or moderators "
I have nothing but praise and love and hugs and stuff for the moderators, they are among the kindest, most sincere and benevolent people on the forums.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh.
But it's ok to make an assumption about a situation you know nothing about, judge it and then have it as your go to, default setting for everyone?
Personally i don't have feel i have any right to make a judgement or pronouncement about something I know nothing about.
I simply associate with people who share my moral compass and ignore those who don't, simply allowing them to do their own thing.
Stoning for adultery in the middle east? It seems I'm going to have my work cut out.
As far as I'm aware I've made no assumptions just stated facts as to what is right and wrong...Surely everyone's default setting should be the same...Do unto others as you would be done by.
How do we not know anything about the situation when the OP's post clearly states the situation she's in...He's married and cheating on his wife!!!
I suggest you get your compass re-tuned as your morals appear to be somewhat lacking. We might all be on a sex site together but there's a vast difference between NSA swinging and lying and cheating on a 'life partner' that exchanged wedding vows together.
It's a tough place to be a woman and hopefully slowly changing but I'd recommend keeping your internet history a secret if you do take up your (un)diplomatic post as ISIS would have you burning in a cage."
As an aside; "Surely everyone's default setting should be the same."
Two questions;
The same as what/who?
And who gets to decide what the default setting should be?
I propose that we all live by our own code of conduct, align ourselves with those who share our code and ignore those who don't.
Revolutionary thinking I know, it'll never catch on.
Apologies for the thread drift op. For a while I thought it was rant day...... |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"...
Isis make some Fabbers look like moderates.
Or moderators
I have nothing but praise and love and hugs and stuff for the moderators, they are among the kindest, most sincere and benevolent people on the forums.
"
Yeah, me too
[ how does one make that green pukey face icon? ] |
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh.
But it's ok to make an assumption about a situation you know nothing about, judge it and then have it as your go to, default setting for everyone?
Personally i don't have feel i have any right to make a judgement or pronouncement about something I know nothing about.
I simply associate with people who share my moral compass and ignore those who don't, simply allowing them to do their own thing.
Stoning for adultery in the middle east? It seems I'm going to have my work cut out.
As far as I'm aware I've made no assumptions just stated facts as to what is right and wrong...Surely everyone's default setting should be the same...Do unto others as you would be done by.
How do we not know anything about the situation when the OP's post clearly states the situation she's in...He's married and cheating on his wife!!!
I suggest you get your compass re-tuned as your morals appear to be somewhat lacking. We might all be on a sex site together but there's a vast difference between NSA swinging and lying and cheating on a 'life partner' that exchanged wedding vows together.
It's a tough place to be a woman and hopefully slowly changing but I'd recommend keeping your internet history a secret if you do take up your (un)diplomatic post as ISIS would have you burning in a cage.
I think you mean FACT, upper case adds so much more gravitas.
As I've tried to point out, these are your views, not everyone else's. As far as I'm aware, and I may not have got the memo, you don't speak for everyone. FACT. Although you may speak for some. Another FACT.
I guess we should all be eternally greatful to you for championing our voice though. Ta muchly.
Instead of trying to understand my point you choose to question my morals, which I'm quietly confident you know nothing about. Well done.
I sense you flailing your arms around, wildly striking out at anyone in range who's view differs from yours. The image makes me chuckle, for which I apologise.
In reference to the OP's position and my moral compass, I'm neither defending or agreeing, merely pointing out that we're in no position, nor were we, any of us, invited to judge.
Isis make some Fabbers look like moderates. "
As far as I'm aware the use of upper case on Fab equates to shouting not gravitas.
They're not just my views though as they also appear to be the views of many others...At least on the thoughts about people who cheat and lie.I have many other views on a myriad of other subjects and if I should feel so inclined to air them in a public forum I would expect and encourage a debate about them...All I stated was that cheating and lying is wrong for whatever reason. If you're comfortable with people like that in your life I'm sure it says more about you than it does me.
I'm glad to be of service but I have a feeling you're being a tad sarcastic.
I believe your point was that we don't know the reasons people lie and cheat and shouldn't judge them on those reasons...Not sure but I believe my only judgement was on the OP's fb being a cheat and if people didn't want the drama/problem she's posted about then don't fuck marrieds. Cause and effect maybe.
You sense wrong then as I'm sat here with a smoke, a cup of tea and a smirk. I do sense that you are the one who seems to be taking this as a personal attack but if the cap fits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh.
But it's ok to make an assumption about a situation you know nothing about, judge it and then have it as your go to, default setting for everyone?
Personally i don't have feel i have any right to make a judgement or pronouncement about something I know nothing about.
I simply associate with people who share my moral compass and ignore those who don't, simply allowing them to do their own thing.
Stoning for adultery in the middle east? It seems I'm going to have my work cut out.
As far as I'm aware I've made no assumptions just stated facts as to what is right and wrong...Surely everyone's default setting should be the same...Do unto others as you would be done by.
How do we not know anything about the situation when the OP's post clearly states the situation she's in...He's married and cheating on his wife!!!
I suggest you get your compass re-tuned as your morals appear to be somewhat lacking. We might all be on a sex site together but there's a vast difference between NSA swinging and lying and cheating on a 'life partner' that exchanged wedding vows together.
It's a tough place to be a woman and hopefully slowly changing but I'd recommend keeping your internet history a secret if you do take up your (un)diplomatic post as ISIS would have you burning in a cage.
I think you mean FACT, upper case adds so much more gravitas.
As I've tried to point out, these are your views, not everyone else's. As far as I'm aware, and I may not have got the memo, you don't speak for everyone. FACT. Although you may speak for some. Another FACT.
I guess we should all be eternally greatful to you for championing our voice though. Ta muchly.
Instead of trying to understand my point you choose to question my morals, which I'm quietly confident you know nothing about. Well done.
I sense you flailing your arms around, wildly striking out at anyone in range who's view differs from yours. The image makes me chuckle, for which I apologise.
In reference to the OP's position and my moral compass, I'm neither defending or agreeing, merely pointing out that we're in no position, nor were we, any of us, invited to judge.
Isis make some Fabbers look like moderates.
As far as I'm aware the use of upper case on Fab equates to shouting not gravitas.
They're not just my views though as they also appear to be the views of many others...At least on the thoughts about people who cheat and lie.I have many other views on a myriad of other subjects and if I should feel so inclined to air them in a public forum I would expect and encourage a debate about them...All I stated was that cheating and lying is wrong for whatever reason. If you're comfortable with people like that in your life I'm sure it says more about you than it does me.
I'm glad to be of service but I have a feeling you're being a tad sarcastic.
I believe your point was that we don't know the reasons people lie and cheat and shouldn't judge them on those reasons...Not sure but I believe my only judgement was on the OP's fb being a cheat and if people didn't want the drama/problem she's posted about then don't fuck marrieds. Cause and effect maybe.
You sense wrong then as I'm sat here with a smoke, a cup of tea and a smirk. I do sense that you are the one who seems to be taking this as a personal attack but if the cap fits."
You've summed it up perfectly with the word "some". Some does not equate all, which is where you appear to sit.
Me, sarcastic? Neverrrrrrrr.
Ah, one of those filthy disgusting smokers. I should have known, you're all the same. I bet you've got sugar in that tea too.
I've not taken it personally by the way, honestly.
It's a forum where we're all free to express differing opinions. On another day we'll completely agree about everything.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"...
Isis make some Fabbers look like moderates.
Or moderators
I have nothing but praise and love and hugs and stuff for the moderators, they are among the kindest, most sincere and benevolent people on the forums.
Yeah, me too
[ how does one make that green pukey face icon? ]"
Like this.....
|
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You've summed it up perfectly with the word "some". Some does not equate all, which is where you appear to sit.
Me, sarcastic? Neverrrrrrrr.
Ah, one of those filthy disgusting smokers. I should have known, you're all the same. I bet you've got sugar in that tea too.
I've not taken it personally by the way, honestly.
It's a forum where we're all free to express differing opinions. On another day we'll completely agree about everything.
'All' or 'everyone' was me implying that in general people know what's right and wrong. The fact that a lot of people choose to turn a blind eye is down to themselves not me.
I'll put my hands up to that but again we're being honest...Lost count of the number of non smokers on here that light up when we have a meet...Doesn't everyone prefer a bit of honesty? And no sugar in my tea...I'm sweet enough thank you
I would hope not but there's some odd ideas and beliefs that lurk in this (or any) corner of the web.
I'm not sure we'll ever agree on everything (this thread being a perfect example) but one day you may utter something profound or humourous enough to warrant a couple of thumbs up and witty retort |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
"
Cant see this working. Its based on lust. When the lust dies down would he still be interested. If his prepared to leave his wife over lust he could do the same to you. Avoid and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You've summed it up perfectly with the word "some". Some does not equate all, which is where you appear to sit.
Me, sarcastic? Neverrrrrrrr.
Ah, one of those filthy disgusting smokers. I should have known, you're all the same. I bet you've got sugar in that tea too.
I've not taken it personally by the way, honestly.
It's a forum where we're all free to express differing opinions. On another day we'll completely agree about everything.
'All' or 'everyone' was me implying that in general people know what's right and wrong. The fact that a lot of people choose to turn a blind eye is down to themselves not me.
I'll put my hands up to that but again we're being honest...Lost count of the number of non smokers on here that light up when we have a meet...Doesn't everyone prefer a bit of honesty? And no sugar in my tea...I'm sweet enough thank you
I would hope not but there's some odd ideas and beliefs that lurk in this (or any) corner of the web.
I'm not sure we'll ever agree on everything (this thread being a perfect example) but one day you may utter something profound or humourous enough to warrant a couple of thumbs up and witty retort "
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"Tell him and don't be the one he leaves his wife for. You will carry the blame forever.
"
Do people genuinely still believe its "the other woman's" fault? If he leaves his wife its between the two of them unless some women have magical siren powers that lure innocent men away that I don't know about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab. well you were obviously cheated on and perhaps that's now shaped the way you now perceive life ,you want NSA but eventually someone will come along you like and change your mind you won't know that till it happens
No I haven't been cheated on and wouldn't cheat on my partner, I have morals and a conscience and treat others the way I would like to be treated ...There's no such thing as NSA when you're in a relationship as there's a little string that's called your wife or husband that's always attached. If your marriage is shit then fix it or leave it...It ain't rocket science."
Maybe his wife was crap in bed, or refused him sex altogether. Sometimes an affair is the happiest solution all round. But hey I don't know the people involved so I wouldn't make any sweeping stereotypical judgements on them. |
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To be fair on the OP we are all responsible for our own actions and were the guy not having an affair with her then he would most likely be doing it with someone else. From a male perspective if a married lady likes me and I like her in return assuming I do not know her husband then I would feel no guilt myself.It is easy to castigate the OP due to her being female as the usual double standards apply,if anybody is a marriage wrecker it is the married person. What I do take away from the OP's initial post is that he likes her more than she him so in that case she should tell him this ask him to let things stay as they are or she shoild walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh.
But it's ok to make an assumption about a situation you know nothing about, judge it and then have it as your go to, default setting for everyone?
Personally i don't have feel i have any right to make a judgement or pronouncement about something I know nothing about.
I simply associate with people who share my moral compass and ignore those who don't, simply allowing them to do their own thing.
Stoning for adultery in the middle east? It seems I'm going to have my work cut out.
As far as I'm aware I've made no assumptions just stated facts as to what is right and wrong...Surely everyone's default setting should be the same...Do unto others as you would be done by.
How do we not know anything about the situation when the OP's post clearly states the situation she's in...He's married and cheating on his wife!!!
I suggest you get your compass re-tuned as your morals appear to be somewhat lacking. We might all be on a sex site together but there's a vast difference between NSA swinging and lying and cheating on a 'life partner' that exchanged wedding vows together.
It's a tough place to be a woman and hopefully slowly changing but I'd recommend keeping your internet history a secret if you do take up your (un)diplomatic post as ISIS would have you burning in a cage."
those vows that have the part "forsaking all others" oh that's right only if its not in a swinging partnership. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tell him and don't be the one he leaves his wife for. You will carry the blame forever.
Do people genuinely still believe its "the other woman's" fault? If he leaves his wife its between the two of them unless some women have magical siren powers that lure innocent men away that I don't know about. "
Nee naw nee naw nee naw
Oooh I'm beating them off with a shitty stick!
  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm in the same boat I'm marred but I no longer love my husband but I do love my master but although he cares for and looks after me he does not love me in his words there are only 10 people in this world I'm willing to kill for theres 5 I'm willing to die for and only one I'm willing to enter hell for and I do not enter into any of these category's |
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"I'm in the same boat I'm marred but I no longer love my husband but I do love my master but although he cares for and looks after me he does not love me in his words there are only 10 people in this world I'm willing to kill for theres 5 I'm willing to die for and only one I'm willing to enter hell for and I do not enter into any of these category's "
will he make you tea? |
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
Give yourself a pat on the back for playing a part in ruining his marriage. "
And another one for showing him there can be more to life than an unhappy relationship with a person they no longer love and who quite possibly never loved him either. There's always two sides and non on here know either. |
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"The easy solution to problems with married people is don't fuck them in the first place. hey some people as I've always said go into this without emotion but if its in you you can't help it and couples not all are the most likely to suffer
If whats in you? Can't help what? Every person who cheats makes their own decisions and we all know what's right and wrong in any lifestyle we live in. All cheaters are inherent liars and have no place in our little corner of Fab.
Let me put that right for you;
We know what's right and wrong in our own lifestyle.
We can only guess and assume what's right and wrong in other people's.
That was an easy fix, I'm ready for the middle east now.....
Didn't think I needed putting right as I don't believe I'm in the wrong.
Not just our lifestyle but life in general...We all know when we or others do something wrong. The whys and wherefores that make people choose to do wrong is nothing to do with me but wrong is wrong full stop.
I'm sure you'd go down a storm in the middle east where women who commit adultery are put to death...I might not agree with cheating but even I think that's a bit harsh."
"we all know when we or others do wrong". Do we? Surely we only really know when we ourselves do what we believe to be wrong. I would imagine there are probably a lot of people all over the world, possibly the majority of people, who would consider everything and anything any do on a site like this to totally wrong. |
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't "
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tell him and don't be the one he leaves his wife for. You will carry the blame forever.
Do people genuinely still believe its "the other woman's" fault? If he leaves his wife its between the two of them unless some women have magical siren powers that lure innocent men away that I don't know about. "
Some women do posses these powers you speak of......
Happened to me. Although I'm not wholly innocent.
For the record, before I'm hung drawn and quartered, I was single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Didn't read the whole thread as it was too long but my thoughts:
1 - 'Thinking about divorce' is likely talk to keep you sweet as this kind of chauvinistic man will probably think that's what you want from him.
2 - Don't get into a relationship with him as he'll get someone else as his 'bit on the side,' even if you both enter the swinging lifestyle together.
3 - Tell him you don't want to be named in the divorce because frankly that shit is gonna get messy
4 - If he does go through with it and it's not bullsh*t then sooner or later his ex wife will find out and kick off |
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts."
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
"
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh. "
And, of course, if it was a man having an affair with a married woman, then he wouldn't be accused of being a homewrecker. It would still be her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're not going to get much useful advice on this thread I'm afraid OP. But it does sound like the situation may be getting complicated, if it's more complicated than you want to be involved with then it may be time to step away. |
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh. "
I know she said it was a typo I just didn't believe her. We all know each others views on this matter and why people come on here making a song and dance what they're doing is beyond me. I wonder what she's thinking now reading all this,probably quietly amused or not,but you're right she won't get any useful advice here. |
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh. "
I've always found it odd how blame is apportioned. A married person strays and it's the fault of the other person.
If my partner strayed I would hold him 100% accountable as his commitment was with me. A N Other owes me nothing.
I believe people who lay the blame at the feet of others don't want their lives disrupting and are angry, hurt and afraid, but can't/won't vent at the person causing them pain. They need an outlet...step forward the other person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh.
I know she said it was a typo I just didn't believe her. We all know each others views on this matter and why people come on here making a song and dance what they're doing is beyond me. I wonder what she's thinking now reading all this,probably quietly amused or not,but you're right she won't get any useful advice here."
Fair enough. I was choosing not to second-guess and read more into it than what it actually said because what's the point? But we all colour our responses with our own experience. Don't see how she was making a song and dance by asking for advice. It always seems everyone who doesn't just sit quietly in the corner keeping their cheating nicely out of sight of the morally pure is "making a song and dance", "jumping up and down" and "justifying themselves". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh.
I've always found it odd how blame is apportioned. A married person strays and it's the fault of the other person.
If my partner strayed I would hold him 100% accountable as his commitment was with me. A N Other owes me nothing.
I believe people who lay the blame at the feet of others don't want their lives disrupting and are angry, hurt and afraid, but can't/won't vent at the person causing them pain. They need an outlet...step forward the other person."
|
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh.
I know she said it was a typo I just didn't believe her. We all know each others views on this matter and why people come on here making a song and dance what they're doing is beyond me. I wonder what she's thinking now reading all this,probably quietly amused or not,but you're right she won't get any useful advice here.
Fair enough. I was choosing not to second-guess and read more into it than what it actually said because what's the point? But we all colour our responses with our own experience. Don't see how she was making a song and dance by asking for advice. It always seems everyone who doesn't just sit quietly in the corner keeping their cheating nicely out of sight of the morally pure is "making a song and dance", "jumping up and down" and "justifying themselves". "
Fair enough she wasn't making a song and dance. I'm not morally pure,or maybe I am I need to think about that one. Myself and my children know the absolute devastation a silly affair causes that's all,so you and I are going to think differently on this matter. The fault lies in the one that's married clearly,however those that are prepared to aide in that deceit aren't much better in my mind. Yeah you can sit there thinking it's got fuck all to do with me I ain't the one that's married,next minute your name crops up in their divorce proceedings and the scorned woman is knocking on your door with the three kids in tow ready to thump the shit of you. Who the stuff wants that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh.
I know she said it was a typo I just didn't believe her. We all know each others views on this matter and why people come on here making a song and dance what they're doing is beyond me. I wonder what she's thinking now reading all this,probably quietly amused or not,but you're right she won't get any useful advice here.
Fair enough. I was choosing not to second-guess and read more into it than what it actually said because what's the point? But we all colour our responses with our own experience. Don't see how she was making a song and dance by asking for advice. It always seems everyone who doesn't just sit quietly in the corner keeping their cheating nicely out of sight of the morally pure is "making a song and dance", "jumping up and down" and "justifying themselves".
Fair enough she wasn't making a song and dance. I'm not morally pure,or maybe I am I need to think about that one. Myself and my children know the absolute devastation a silly affair causes that's all,so you and I are going to think differently on this matter. The fault lies in the one that's married clearly,however those that are prepared to aide in that deceit aren't much better in my mind. Yeah you can sit there thinking it's got fuck all to do with me I ain't the one that's married,next minute your name crops up in their divorce proceedings and the scorned woman is knocking on your door with the three kids in tow ready to thump the shit of you. Who the stuff wants that!"
That scorned woman with three kids in tow should instead be looking to thump the shit out of their husband (or no-one, preferably, unless we're now suggesting assault and battery is ok) not someone who has nothing to do with them. People need to look closer to home when they want someone to blame. It is not the "fault" of the person outside and choosing to blame them is incredibly naive. |
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh.
I know she said it was a typo I just didn't believe her. We all know each others views on this matter and why people come on here making a song and dance what they're doing is beyond me. I wonder what she's thinking now reading all this,probably quietly amused or not,but you're right she won't get any useful advice here.
Fair enough. I was choosing not to second-guess and read more into it than what it actually said because what's the point? But we all colour our responses with our own experience. Don't see how she was making a song and dance by asking for advice. It always seems everyone who doesn't just sit quietly in the corner keeping their cheating nicely out of sight of the morally pure is "making a song and dance", "jumping up and down" and "justifying themselves".
Fair enough she wasn't making a song and dance. I'm not morally pure,or maybe I am I need to think about that one. Myself and my children know the absolute devastation a silly affair causes that's all,so you and I are going to think differently on this matter. The fault lies in the one that's married clearly,however those that are prepared to aide in that deceit aren't much better in my mind. Yeah you can sit there thinking it's got fuck all to do with me I ain't the one that's married,next minute your name crops up in their divorce proceedings and the scorned woman is knocking on your door with the three kids in tow ready to thump the shit of you. Who the stuff wants that!
That scorned woman with three kids in tow should instead be looking to thump the shit out of their husband (or no-one, preferably, unless we're now suggesting assault and battery is ok) not someone who has nothing to do with them. People need to look closer to home when they want someone to blame. It is not the "fault" of the person outside and choosing to blame them is incredibly naive. "
The married guy would already be under the patio! |
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I don't know if the OP is an evil harpy who goes round looking for lives to ruin, I don't know if the guy involved is a heartless uncaring bastard who wants to have his cake and eat it, I don't know if his wife is an unlovable malcontent who drags her kids through the streets threatening her husband and anyone else she disapproves of with acts of violence.
I don't know any of that, which is why I won't judge and, until you know the real facts, neither should anyone else. The fact that so many do says far more about them, their lives and their own experiences and consequent prejudices than anything about the OP, the guy or his wife. |
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"I don't know if the OP is an evil harpy who goes round looking for lives to ruin, I don't know if the guy involved is a heartless uncaring bastard who wants to have his cake and eat it, I don't know if his wife is an unlovable malcontent who drags her kids through the streets threatening her husband and anyone else she disapproves of with acts of violence.
I don't know any of that, which is why I won't judge and, until you know the real facts, neither should anyone else. The fact that so many do says far more about them, their lives and their own experiences and consequent prejudices than anything about the OP, the guy or his wife."
Amen to that.
10/10 for the use of "malcontent" a much underused word along with "harpy" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh.
I know she said it was a typo I just didn't believe her. We all know each others views on this matter and why people come on here making a song and dance what they're doing is beyond me. I wonder what she's thinking now reading all this,probably quietly amused or not,but you're right she won't get any useful advice here.
Fair enough. I was choosing not to second-guess and read more into it than what it actually said because what's the point? But we all colour our responses with our own experience. Don't see how she was making a song and dance by asking for advice. It always seems everyone who doesn't just sit quietly in the corner keeping their cheating nicely out of sight of the morally pure is "making a song and dance", "jumping up and down" and "justifying themselves".
Fair enough she wasn't making a song and dance. I'm not morally pure,or maybe I am I need to think about that one. Myself and my children know the absolute devastation a silly affair causes that's all,so you and I are going to think differently on this matter. The fault lies in the one that's married clearly,however those that are prepared to aide in that deceit aren't much better in my mind. Yeah you can sit there thinking it's got fuck all to do with me I ain't the one that's married,next minute your name crops up in their divorce proceedings and the scorned woman is knocking on your door with the three kids in tow ready to thump the shit of you. Who the stuff wants that!
That scorned woman with three kids in tow should instead be looking to thump the shit out of their husband (or no-one, preferably, unless we're now suggesting assault and battery is ok) not someone who has nothing to do with them. People need to look closer to home when they want someone to blame. It is not the "fault" of the person outside and choosing to blame them is incredibly naive. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The Winkie face is a typo sorry
you do not come out of this smelling of roses no matter what happens.
scenario 1 you are branded a home wrecker/marriage breaker you stay with him he does same to you.
scenario 2 you walk away saying thanks but no thanks he sees you as the female equivalent of what males would call a wanker.
scenario 3 you convince him to stay with the wife you stay the side chick and you are settling for being a bit on the side."
Fair dos he's right |
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"The Winkie face is a typo sorry
you do not come out of this smelling of roses no matter what happens.
scenario 1 you are branded a home wrecker/marriage breaker you stay with him he does same to you.
scenario 2 you walk away saying thanks but no thanks he sees you as the female equivalent of what males would call a wanker.
scenario 3 you convince him to stay with the wife you stay the side chick and you are settling for being a bit on the side.
Fair dos he's right "
Or maybe she makes him realise that a loveless marriage is no real marriage at all and that the real lie is in trying to live your life in one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do I do?? Ive been seeing a married man on and off for over a year Now but he's now decided that he's deeply in love with me and now talking about divorce!! Yes I do love him but not as much he does me!? what do I do!! Xx
Give yourself a pat on the back for playing a part in ruining his marriage.
I think he ruined it all by himself."
True. I guess I'm looking at it from the perspective that I wouldn't want to play a part in that. |
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"Cor' blimey this had really put the cat amongst the pigeons, seems to have a real divided opinion
Yep,those that have morals and dignity and compassion and those that don't
Or those who are judgemental and those who realise that they don't know all the facts.
It's human nature to judge and no we don't know all the facts,apart from the fact this woman is shagging a married man and finds it quite amusing. However,is now getting slightly worried as he appears to love her more than she loves him..
Amusing? She replied that the wink was a typo.
As per, most of the replies seem to be laying the blame at the feet of the "other woman" not the person who is in the relationship, who is the one cheating. So fucking depressing that this attitude is still prevalent, it's practically 2016 and we're still talking about "homewreckers" and someone "ruining" someone else's marriage. Bring back the scarlet letter, eh.
I know she said it was a typo I just didn't believe her. We all know each others views on this matter and why people come on here making a song and dance what they're doing is beyond me. I wonder what she's thinking now reading all this,probably quietly amused or not,but you're right she won't get any useful advice here.
Fair enough. I was choosing not to second-guess and read more into it than what it actually said because what's the point? But we all colour our responses with our own experience. Don't see how she was making a song and dance by asking for advice. It always seems everyone who doesn't just sit quietly in the corner keeping their cheating nicely out of sight of the morally pure is "making a song and dance", "jumping up and down" and "justifying themselves".
Fair enough she wasn't making a song and dance. I'm not morally pure,or maybe I am I need to think about that one. Myself and my children know the absolute devastation a silly affair causes that's all,so you and I are going to think differently on this matter. The fault lies in the one that's married clearly,however those that are prepared to aide in that deceit aren't much better in my mind. Yeah you can sit there thinking it's got fuck all to do with me I ain't the one that's married,next minute your name crops up in their divorce proceedings and the scorned woman is knocking on your door with the three kids in tow ready to thump the shit of you. Who the stuff wants that!
That scorned woman with three kids in tow should instead be looking to thump the shit out of their husband (or no-one, preferably, unless we're now suggesting assault and battery is ok) not someone who has nothing to do with them. People need to look closer to home when they want someone to blame. It is not the "fault" of the person outside and choosing to blame them is incredibly naive.
"
I believe that's known as the tobacco defence. Don't blame me I don't smoke them I just provide an outlet.
Of course it's not the woman’s fault that he's cheating, it's not my fault if my neighbours car gets vandalised either but I'd feel pretty scummy standing there cheering them on.
He maybe in a loveless marriage, or he may not be the monogamous type and found out once married reality set in.
But in my own set of values you have some gumption and tell the one you made the commitment to its not going to last first. Not find a new partner before trading up or down.
With regards to the question what should you do well it really depends on what you want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know if the OP is an evil harpy who goes round looking for lives to ruin, I don't know if the guy involved is a heartless uncaring bastard who wants to have his cake and eat it, I don't know if his wife is an unlovable malcontent who drags her kids through the streets threatening her husband and anyone else she disapproves of with acts of violence.
I don't know any of that, which is why I won't judge and, until you know the real facts, neither should anyone else. The fact that so many do says far more about them, their lives and their own experiences and consequent prejudices than anything about the OP, the guy or his wife."
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