FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > when you don't fancy them in real life. ..
when you don't fancy them in real life. ..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well you could just be honest.... Or leave them sat there thinking you have gone to get a drink but have really done a runner... Yes, that happened to me."
Oh me too but on another site! Just finish your drink, say thanks and goodbye. |
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And this is exactly why we only want club meets for a first go.., it saves and potential embarresment.
We never arrange or gaurentee to meet anyone at a club, only that we will be there and that we could grab a drink.., then If the attraction isn't there, no one can be offended! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry i don't fancy you?
Is this a trick question?
no, not a trick question. My guess is guys would answer very differently to women. .."
That is right, men and women think differently lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was at a meet with a fb with another couple real nice people, he played a bit with her in the kitchen, i really didnt fancy the guy and to be honest he was a bit pushy kept trying to kiss me, i gave in at one point but really couldn't was totally uncomfortable so went to the toilet and cried my ex came in and said we were leaving, i felt a bit guilty so stayed but the guy wouldnt give up so told my fb and we got a taxi and left think he was gutted that he didnt get any further with her, he did feel shit though for not leaving earlier when i first felt uncomfortable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've met people in clubs after talking to them on here and finding no physical attraction and just left it at that. We don't usually talk online about what we are going to do when we meet so there are no expectations. The most awkward one was when a woman was really rude to me in a club for no reason, then they started messaging us on here arranging to meet and I didn't recognise them from their photos when we met them in a club I realised who she was and she was really nice to me but I don't do people who are nasty on the inside either so saying no thank you was weird! |
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I prefer honesty I know I am not exactly blessed with looks so I would prefer a meet to say the truth rather than talk about the second meet then do the block thing.I have been told to my face im a munter so somebody saying thankyou but no thanks on the intimacy front is not a big deal personally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
I think you have the wrong person
What do you do/say?"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've met people in clubs after talking to them on here and finding no physical attraction and just left it at that. We don't usually talk online about what we are going to do when we meet so there are no expectations. The most awkward one was when a woman was really rude to me in a club for no reason, then they started messaging us on here arranging to meet and I didn't recognise them from their photos when we met them in a club I realised who she was and she was really nice to me but I don't do people who are nasty on the inside either so saying no thank you was weird!"
People who are nasty on the inside are the ugliest people alive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met loads of people that I haven't fancied and I've always tried to make out the fault is with me to save their feelings. Or if I've tried to make myself look bad but they're still interested I'll tell them about a time that I was rejected (so they know it happens to everyone) and I'll just say I don't have that urge to want to see them again.
If I can get away with making myself seem like someone they wouldn't want to meet again then I will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I have just been straight with people (although only had to be twice as I have seen pics or canned first in many cases).
I had a lady tell me the same a few years back on previous profile. I was a nice guy but "not her type". Then met her at a party 6 months later but after some fun in a hot tub apparently I was. We had a few more meets...went to a couple of clubs together and although she is no longer on site we are still good friends.....so you can never say never maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not going to float anyone's boat but honesty is better than doing a runner as wouldnt want to sit and waste valuable minutes of my life i'd never get back |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
I think we all know that sexual chemistry can't be guaranteed, from chats and a face pic. Just tell them that you're not feeling that spark (in person) and they should be fine with that.
If they're not fine with that, it's their problem, not yours. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well you could just be honest.... Or leave them sat there thinking you have gone to get a drink but have really done a runner... Yes, that happened to me.
Really? 
Really."
Similar happened to me except she let me buy the drinks, took a sip, put money on the table and then walked out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well you could just be honest.... Or leave them sat there thinking you have gone to get a drink but have really done a runner... Yes, that happened to me.
Really?
Really.
Similar happened to me except she let me buy the drinks, took a sip, put money on the table and then walked out "
Think of it as a dam lucky escape |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm far too polite. Wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Have sat there for hours previously and even played a bit before deciding that I'd done my bit and made my excuses. |
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well i probably wouldn't meet in a club or social.. being a total slapper my first meet would be at there's or a hotel so really if i didn't fancy them it'd be a case of a few extra vodkas down me neck first..however if they opened the door and they had a beard... You wouldn't see me for dust... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've met people in clubs after talking to them on here and finding no physical attraction and just left it at that. We don't usually talk online about what we are going to do when we meet so there are no expectations. The most awkward one was when a woman was really rude to me in a club for no reason, then they started messaging us on here arranging to meet and I didn't recognise them from their photos when we met them in a club I realised who she was and she was really nice to me but I don't do people who are nasty on the inside either so saying no thank you was weird!
People who are nasty on the inside are the ugliest people alive"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
That's the problem with the Internet . A very small amount of communication is done by letters
Smell , body language , eyes , mouth , stature , etc say more than 5000 emails.
That's why I laugh when people look at profiles and say we are not suited . How do they know we are not suited , from my profile ?
Anyone who puts all their internet eggs into one internet egg basket is asking for omelettes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say something like, "I think you are a nice guy but I don't feel any sexual attraction". I will talk for a couple of minutes more and then say goodbye"
The key to being successful with women is understanding the more you say the more chance you have of screwing it up
Then there's the want to have sex stage . As soon as that's gone there's nothing you can do to get it back and there is often no reason why the attraction has gone
Then there's the dynamics of the site and any site and how easy it is to flit from one profile to the next thinking this is better I will try here .
It's just empty and meaningless communication that serves no purpose other than to relieve boredom and if your lucky may get a shag
I would say my success rate here is 1 in 1000 , Pof 1 in 50 . Swingers event 1 in 15 Pub 1 in 10
Doesn't make sense unless you understand how attraction is formed
I mean the human race did quite well long before the Internet and most of our dating customs are still
Cave man like pulling hair like apes and biting neck like dogs and cats |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"if I was horny, I would just shag em...."
I did that once. In a club, was really horny and absolutely no one I thought Phwoarrrr about. And do you know what, I had a really good time! Made me think that it perhaps wasn't always about "fancying" someone... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they mention at some point they'd like to meet again I just say I'm afraid that I don't want to. I'd then send a message to say that I'm not interested in meeting again and thank them for today. Job done |
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"I've met loads of people that I haven't fancied and I've always tried to make out the fault is with me to save their feelings. Or if I've tried to make myself look bad but they're still interested I'll tell them about a time that I was rejected (so they know it happens to everyone) and I'll just say I don't have that urge to want to see them again.
If I can get away with making myself seem like someone they wouldn't want to meet again then I will. "
LMAO How far do you go?
Pick your nose?
Fart?
Scratch?
Dribble?
Especially with the line in your profile about "bat shit crazy" I bet that performance is great to see  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say something like, "I think you are a nice guy but I don't feel any sexual attraction". I will talk for a couple of minutes more and then say goodbye
The key to being successful with women is understanding the more you say the more chance you have of screwing it up
Then there's the want to have sex stage . As soon as that's gone there's nothing you can do to get it back and there is often no reason why the attraction has gone
Then there's the dynamics of the site and any site and how easy it is to flit from one profile to the next thinking this is better I will try here .
It's just empty and meaningless communication that serves no purpose other than to relieve boredom and if your lucky may get a shag
I would say my success rate here is 1 in 1000 , Pof 1 in 50 . Swingers event 1 in 15 Pub 1 in 10
Doesn't make sense unless you understand how attraction is formed
I mean the human race did quite well long before the Internet and most of our dating customs are still
Cave man like pulling hair like apes and biting neck like dogs and cats "
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"I would say something like, "I think you are a nice guy but I don't feel any sexual attraction". I will talk for a couple of minutes more and then say goodbye
The key to being successful with women is understanding the more you say the more chance you have of screwing it up
Then there's the want to have sex stage . As soon as that's gone there's nothing you can do to get it back and there is often no reason why the attraction has gone
Then there's the dynamics of the site and any site and how easy it is to flit from one profile to the next thinking this is better I will try here .
It's just empty and meaningless communication that serves no purpose other than to relieve boredom and if your lucky may get a shag
I would say my success rate here is 1 in 1000 , Pof 1 in 50 . Swingers event 1 in 15 Pub 1 in 10
Doesn't make sense unless you understand how attraction is formed
I mean the human race did quite well long before the Internet and most of our dating customs are still
Cave man like pulling hair like apes and biting neck like dogs and cats "
That little arithmetic exercise must have told you that you are better off in a Pub  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've met loads of people that I haven't fancied and I've always tried to make out the fault is with me to save their feelings. Or if I've tried to make myself look bad but they're still interested I'll tell them about a time that I was rejected (so they know it happens to everyone) and I'll just say I don't have that urge to want to see them again.
If I can get away with making myself seem like someone they wouldn't want to meet again then I will.
LMAO How far do you go?
Pick your nose?
Fart?
Scratch?
Dribble?
Especially with the line in your profile about "bat shit crazy" I bet that performance is great to see "
Depends on the person, usually the ones I don't fancy are the hardest to put off. I met a guy off pof last year off the back of being blown out by this army guy if been dating. On my way to meet this new guy, army guy texts me to say that when he gets back from your it's best we don't see each other again! I was gutted, it was my time of the month as well and when I got to the guy he asked me if I was alright and that was it, just started crying, the more he was asking me if I was ok the worse I was getting, those sobs where the can't catch your breath! Even told him that I'd been blown out by another guy and the result of this, he still messages me to this day! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
To have met for a social, would have meant I had their mobile number. . A quick text to say 'thanks for meeting me/us,I appreciate it,but I'm not looking to take this further,have fun x'.-doesn't take very long |
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
thanks but no thanks |
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"And this is exactly why we only want club meets for a first go.., it saves and potential embarresment.
We never arrange or gaurentee to meet anyone at a club, only that we will be there and that we could grab a drink.., then If the attraction isn't there, no one can be offended!"
Totally agree |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"And this is exactly why we only want club meets for a first go.., it saves and potential embarresment.
We never arrange or gaurentee to meet anyone at a club, only that we will be there and that we could grab a drink.., then If the attraction isn't there, no one can be offended!"
This is pretty much how we work. In fact we don't even say we are going to a club, but just take the risk that we we will find a on one to play with ( which we always do). It gives us the opportunity of seeing what people are like and how they behave before we make contact, removing any risk of embarrassment or offense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like to do a social with any potential play mates as moon has to find them physically and mentally attractive .... Unless we are at a club then that's a different matter  |
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
I've been told:
"you are a really lovely bloke - but I don't think anything's going to happen"
"we are looking for soemthing else"
"sorry, I don;t fancy you"
As long as people are honest (without being deliberately nasty about it) - that's fine by me. |
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Depends what you define as a " social".
But I always insist on meeting somewhere first, bar, coffee place or even the hotel lobby;
And make it clear that either of us can play a "get out card" at that point .
Most times its " fine, we are OK, let's do it";
A few times its been " actually.... Not for me" : on one side or the other, usually both sides, actually; and we have had a drink or chat, and gone on our ways...
Once it was we both really liked each other, but not sexually interested; but we became good friends, and still are. |
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"Depends what you define as a " social".
But I always insist on meeting somewhere first, bar, coffee place or even the hotel lobby;
And make it clear that either of us can play a "get out card" at that point .
Most times its " fine, we are OK, let's do it";
A few times its been " actually.... Not for me" : on one side or the other, usually both sides, actually; and we have had a drink or chat, and gone on our ways...
Once it was we both really liked each other, but not sexually interested; but we became good friends, and still are."
This I met my best guy friend this way over 3 years ago |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I always meet socially first now. Sometimes more than one social too... there have been a few times its gone no further.
Most have been OK. Only one got arsey but that's what the block button is for. A simple sorry but it's going no further is all it needs from either side |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's happened a few times to me but i always meet for a social first. I simply tell them i only have 30 mins and then leave. Once or twice i've had guys get annoyed so i just say i'm going for a ciggie and leave. Noone needs drama. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually i ride the social out then say thanks but nothing further will happen, although I got up and walked out of a meet once as he was being a complete knob and pretty sure was on something, he went unlos that night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
Depends if I still want to have sex with them or not.
If I still want to have sex with them, then I ask them if they want to have sex.
If I don't want to have sex with them, then I don't have sex with them. |
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?
Depends if I still want to have sex with them or not.
If I still want to have sex with them, then I ask them if they want to have sex.
If I don't want to have sex with them, then I don't have sex with them."
Yep, thats pretty much it.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually i ride the social out then say thanks but nothing further will happen, although I got up and walked out of a meet once as he was being a complete knob and pretty sure was on something, he went unlos that night "
Sorry but what's unlos?
On a different note, if people upload upto date pics and an honest profile then I'm very sure a person wouldn't get turned down after one social. Then again someone with bad habits like mouth open while chewing food and proceeding to spit said food over their social date, isn't going to warrant a second meet from me. Quickly drink the coffee and politely leave. Message later saying you're not for me... or just block if they're rude/nasty I never swap numbers until I've met the guy in person. Just in case I'm not interested after all or he isn't who he portrayed himself to be. Hassle averted! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually i ride the social out then say thanks but nothing further will happen, although I got up and walked out of a meet once as he was being a complete knob and pretty sure was on something, he went unlos that night
Sorry but what's unlos?
On a different note, if people upload upto date pics and an honest profile then I'm very sure a person wouldn't get turned down after one social. Then again someone with bad habits like mouth open while chewing food and proceeding to spit said food over their social date, isn't going to warrant a second meet from me. Quickly drink the coffee and politely leave. Message later saying you're not for me... or just block if they're rude/nasty I never swap numbers until I've met the guy in person. Just in case I'm not interested after all or he isn't who he portrayed himself to be. Hassle averted! "
User no longer on site.. When the account is deleted |
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It is always better to be honest both the wife and I have played with people we really should not of in the past and it leaves you with a terrible feeling.
We only meet at parties and clubs now to reduce that chance of anymore awkward meetings that we have had in pubs in the past.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually i ride the social out then say thanks but nothing further will happen, although I got up and walked out of a meet once as he was being a complete knob and pretty sure was on something, he went unlos that night "
I've done the same though more because he barely spoke, couldn't seem to get a conversation going so I didn't see the point in staying, went to walk out and he put his hand on my back! Guess he fancied me but I didn't he |
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It happens, sometimes even after seeing face and body shots....in person they just don't do it for you.
This is why a social meet is a good idea, both parties have the chance to say "It was nice meeting you but I don't want to take things further as I didn't feel we clicked".
That's a kind way of letting someone know you're not interested in anything more. It's also something one could say if the meeting was intended to be intimate. I would never simply leave someone at the bar and wander off. I'd have the decency to let them down as gently as I could. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens, but I never make it seem like my fault or whatever, normally 'thanks but no thanks' or 'I personally can't feel any chemistry here' or if they're being a nuisance 'no. I really don't want to sleep with you!' Does the trick. |
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"It happens, but I never make it seem like my fault or whatever, normally 'thanks but no thanks' or 'I personally can't feel any chemistry here' or if they're being a nuisance 'no. I really don't want to sleep with you!' Does the trick."
Some men cannot take a hint. I think also it's a stereotypical male trait to keep sexual interest up with a woman who they like the look of even if there's no chemistry. Not my way of doing things but it seems common.
With a social, usually I will commit only to one coffee/tea/pint while in reality having cleared the entire evening. The best social meetings end up lasting two or three hours and building up excitement for a more intimate meeting.
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I've left two meets because they weren't what I thought they'd be like. And both times I just said (really smiley and kindly) "Thanks for having me over, but I'm not going to stay, because I just don't really feel the chemistry. Thanks again."
And it's been fine both times. I can't imagine being anything other than honest, though. lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although it would be a kick in the teeth you've got to take it on the chin
Otherwise going to be crap meet and regrettable for both parties.
Chemistry is key |
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"I've left two meets because they weren't what I thought they'd be like. And both times I just said (really smiley and kindly) "Thanks for having me over, but I'm not going to stay, because I just don't really feel the chemistry. Thanks again."
And it's been fine both times. I can't imagine being anything other than honest, though. lol"
That's a polite way of being honest, it hopefully leaves the other person in no doubt that things will never go further but without causing any hurt. |
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"I've left two meets because they weren't what I thought they'd be like. And both times I just said (really smiley and kindly) "Thanks for having me over, but I'm not going to stay, because I just don't really feel the chemistry. Thanks again."
And it's been fine both times. I can't imagine being anything other than honest, though. lol
That's a polite way of being honest, it hopefully leaves the other person in no doubt that things will never go further but without causing any hurt."
Exactly! |
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"That's why social meets first  "
That is why a lot of us prefer social meets before anything intimate is arranged. They give all parties the chance to decide if they want to take things further.
However I do understand that where distance is involved, that might be inconvenient. However there's always the option of politely declining sex. |
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By *llebWoman
over a year ago
Poulton Le Fylde |
"Best to play it safe I find. In case they're not the type to take no for an answer I tend to first pepper spray them then apologise via text from the panic room.
I like your style. "
I laughed at that one... now have visions of this manic woman clearing a venue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Best to play it safe I find. In case they're not the type to take no for an answer I tend to first pepper spray them then apologise via text from the panic room. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
You could have talked to him on skype |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Socials aren't for everyone but at least if a social is arranged you have a get out clause. There's also the fact that if everyone is happy you may well take it further first meet.
I've had socials with couples and for whatever reason the click wasn't there and it works both ways.
Some of us are mature and can handle it, others spit the dummy. That's why it's best to build up a wee bit of rapport initially to get a feel ( no pun ) for the other party/ies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although it would be a kick in the teeth you've got to take it on the chin
Otherwise going to be crap meet and regrettable for both parties.
Chemistry is key "
Spot on Sir....there has to be chemistry, I'd rather " get romantic" with myself then press on regardless with no attraction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say something like, "I think you are a nice guy but I don't feel any sexual attraction". I will talk for a couple of minutes more and then say goodbye
The key to being successful with women is understanding the more you say the more chance you have of screwing it up
Then there's the want to have sex stage . As soon as that's gone there's nothing you can do to get it back and there is often no reason why the attraction has gone
Then there's the dynamics of the site and any site and how easy it is to flit from one profile to the next thinking this is better I will try here .
It's just empty and meaningless communication that serves no purpose other than to relieve boredom and if your lucky may get a shag
I would say my success rate here is 1 in 1000 , Pof 1 in 50 . Swingers event 1 in 15 Pub 1 in 10
Doesn't make sense unless you understand how attraction is formed
I mean the human race did quite well long before the Internet and most of our dating customs are still
Cave man like pulling hair like apes and biting neck like dogs and cats
That little arithmetic exercise must have told you that you are better off in a Pub "
You may yhik the arithmetic is strange but there is much more truth in it that most women on here could ever understand though. The pub has women with less unreal expectations. On here you think many were inter_iewing for a permanent post but reality is 4 hrs at most. |
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"You may yhik the arithmetic is strange but there is much more truth in it that most women on here could ever understand though. The pub has women with less unreal expectations. On here you think many were inter_iewing for a permanent post but reality is 4 hrs at most."
Nothing like a bit of good old misogyny right there. Lol.
Poor little women, with their vacant understanding of maths. LMAO. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
Its nsa...use and abuse then dump never to be used again surely is the answer you need |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd just see the social meet out then not arrange anything else and hope they got the message! "
Same here!
I've had to tell a few that the attraction just wasn't there for me! Not something I enjoy doing but I'd feel cheap if I shagged someone I wasn't attracted to! |
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By *MaleMan
over a year ago
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
Most of the people I've met have lived up to their profile words & pictures in person and been diamonds ultimately.
For the odd few that have not lived up I've just been honest and left it there one way or another.
Lies, bulls#it or anyone describing themselves as someone they aint but wish they we're is one massive turn off
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd just see the social meet out then not arrange anything else and hope they got the message!
Same here!
I've had to tell a few that the attraction just wasn't there for me! Not something I enjoy doing but I'd feel cheap if I shagged someone I wasn't attracted to! "
me too hate that cheap feeling lol |
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By *llebWoman
over a year ago
Poulton Le Fylde |
"I'd just see the social meet out then not arrange anything else and hope they got the message!
Same here!
I've had to tell a few that the attraction just wasn't there for me! Not something I enjoy doing but I'd feel cheap if I shagged someone I wasn't attracted to! me too hate that cheap feeling lol"
Now that's whole different thread that would probably run and run, at how people have felt after meets.
I went through a stage a couple of years ago of feeling like that.....I've hardened up and my selection process is harder to pass these days, so rarely have a naff meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd just see the social meet out then not arrange anything else and hope they got the message!
Same here!
I've had to tell a few that the attraction just wasn't there for me! Not something I enjoy doing but I'd feel cheap if I shagged someone I wasn't attracted to! me too hate that cheap feeling lol
Now that's whole different thread that would probably run and run, at how people have felt after meets.
I went through a stage a couple of years ago of feeling like that.....I've hardened up and my selection process is harder to pass these days, so rarely have a naff meet."
Same here! I'm very fussy - I have to like and fancy someone before I'll consider jumping in to bed with them! It means I turn most people down - but when I do have a meet they're usually great! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd just see the social meet out then not arrange anything else and hope they got the message!
Same here!
I've had to tell a few that the attraction just wasn't there for me! Not something I enjoy doing but I'd feel cheap if I shagged someone I wasn't attracted to! me too hate that cheap feeling lol
Now that's whole different thread that would probably run and run, at how people have felt after meets.
I went through a stage a couple of years ago of feeling like that.....I've hardened up and my selection process is harder to pass these days, so rarely have a naff meet."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I always have a social meet first for coffee. Too many times have I clicked with someone on here with the written word to find that click isn't there in real life. So always have a social and make it clear it is only a social. If your not attracted to them you can always either say it to them there and then or in a msg on here when they ask for a meet |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
I had this and realised I had got it wrong after arranging the social. This may seem wrong but I had been chatting to a friend and she suggested a get out call from her, so that's what I did and messaged him later to say no thank you |
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Last three meets.
1) social. Helped her with a diy problem. I'm not the type she would meet normally, but we had a pleasant chat, got to know each other. Will hopefully meet again.
2) social first.
We met in a pub. Social was OK but didn't come back to play. Said they would arrange something, but I'm not hopeful
3) play date. Lady arrived, decided not to play. We had a pleasant evening chatting.
The second one was most frustrating as I felt they were being polite rather than saying "no chemistry, no thanks"
Same as people who read messages and don't reply or delete, just leave you hanging. |
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"So.... you chat a while on here.... The person seems nice, genuine, you might have even seen a face pic and thought "yeah, I would"... so you arrange a social meet, or in a club....
And in real life you just don't fancy them. At all.
What do you do/say?"
Haha, the last time I met a woman who was showing pics from like 10 years earlier... I met up with her and I all of a sudden "didn't feel well". Haha!
I went home. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forgot to mention on my reply, yeah I seen few I aint fancied either, it is just a one of meet so it wouldn't matter really x."
So your saying you would still play with them based on the fact it is a one off meet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forgot to mention on my reply, yeah I seen few I aint fancied either, it is just a one of meet so it wouldn't matter really x.
So your saying you would still play with them based on the fact it is a one off meet?"
that in my opinion would lead to a bad meet... |
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