FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Would you prefer no reply ?
Would you prefer no reply ?
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A simple 'thanks but no thanks, good luck' response is much more me x | |||
So no reply here please. | |||
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"Ooeeer even when I did reply it was never like that
A simple 'thanks but no thanks, good luck' response is much more me x"This  | |||
"Ooeeer even when I did reply it was never like that
A simple 'thanks but no thanks, good luck' response is much more me x
This "It's funny because I constantly read forum post from men asking why people don't reply to their messages. Even its to say no. But how would they feel if that got worse than no? It's kinda like be thankful they just deleted your message  | |||
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"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" " I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X | |||
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"I say "Thank you for messaging but you're not my type"." That's true...you do indeed! (Only joking lol! We have never messaged) | |||
"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X" I learnt fairly early on that some guys think if you speak to them they take your manners as they can then manipulate you into meeting them. I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases. | |||
"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X I learnt fairly early on that some guys think if you speak to them they take your manners as they can then manipulate you into meeting them. I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases." Most are extreme cases on my block list and so glad it never gets full . | |||
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"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X I learnt fairly early on that some guys think if you speak to them they take your manners as they can then manipulate you into meeting them. I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases. Most are extreme cases on my block list and so glad it never gets full . "
Less than 20 on mine, so guys mainly are decent guys on here. shame we can't tell which are which until after we interact with them. | |||
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"I'd prefer no reply. If I'm not to a guy's taste, he should move swiftly on to someone who is. I don't want people wasting their time." | |||
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"Whether u write a message saying sorry your not my type or just delete u always upset someone, u cant win." you're right of course but a polite not for me is good  | |||
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"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X I learnt fairly early on that some guys think if you speak to them they take your manners as they can then manipulate you into meeting them. I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases." | |||
"We'd rather have the message deleted and no response. " this for us toooo..connie x | |||
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"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them?" You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them?" They probably didn't get hundreds, but still too many to answer. They may see you've been on the site for over a year (it turns out to be over six years as it happens) without having had one meet, and wonder why... | |||
"Ooeeer even when I did reply it was never like that
A simple 'thanks but no thanks, good luck' response is much more me x
This " this | |||
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"We reply to say a polite thanks but no thanks! We have had the 'why' question back and at that point we normally block!" We sent a "Thanks but no thanks" to a couple and they asked why, so we told them , If they had read our profile properly they would have seen we do not do text speak and prefer people who can string a sentence together coherently. They blocked us ! haha | |||
"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. "Definitely we prefer a polite reply. Hate not knowing, as mature adults we understand different people will have different preferences to us, some people will have the same interests and preferences.....good manners are important in real life and important on fabs too - treat other people how you would like others to treat you....m x | |||
"Obviously, as I single guy, I can confirm that most don't reply and that is fine by me. I don't send one liners and I always read the profile before messaging. What really hacks me off is when you write a decent message to people who delete one liners and then they reply with a one word answer eg "interested." Or "Intrigued." "I'll say this if the guy is attractive to me and his initial message was alright but not enough to go off. I'm hinting at him to make a little more effort with me. Basically i know i'll put in the effort is someone is worth it, but i need the guy to prove he's worth it. | |||
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"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? They probably didn't get hundreds, but still too many to answer. They may see you've been on the site for over a year (it turns out to be over six years as it happens) without having had one meet, and wonder why..." I've been on this site for over 6 years and don't have any verifications, doesn't mean I haven't had any meets does it? | |||
"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. "I'd like a reply but from past experience of being in a MF couple then it's virtually impossible to reply to all as if you did you'd never end up meeting anyone,but a deleted message says it all and the reason we used to block people is so it saves time coming across the profile again | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? They probably didn't get hundreds, but still too many to answer. They may see you've been on the site for over a year (it turns out to be over six years as it happens) without having had one meet, and wonder why... I've been on this site for over 6 years and don't have any verifications, doesn't mean I haven't had any meets does it?" But why wouldn't you have any verifications if you've had meets..isn't that part of the whole fab thing??? | |||
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"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey." Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. | |||
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"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here." The first time i signed up online i did delete my account. It was that bad, i had 18 pages of messages at once, was that stupid. Few days later though i wanted to try it again. You find ways to cope on sites, especially if you can block users. Weird thing is on that site you can filter users but still get their messages in a separate box (they get told you aren't interested in them) and that message box is always way more full of messages from guys i have no interest in, and know i have no interest in them, than my main inbox that has the guys i am potentially interested in. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? They probably didn't get hundreds, but still too many to answer. They may see you've been on the site for over a year (it turns out to be over six years as it happens) without having had one meet, and wonder why... I've been on this site for over 6 years and don't have any verifications, doesn't mean I haven't had any meets does it? But why wouldn't you have any verifications if you've had meets..isn't that part of the whole fab thing???" Is it? Some people like to keep things private, without boasting about their veris. I respect that. It's not about notches on a bed post on here you know.... | |||
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"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here." Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? | |||
" I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases." In an ideal world I'd get a "thanks but no thanks" (without going into detail about my perceived shortcomings!) but I understand why women simply delete and that's fine by me. However, ladies PLEEEASEE don't just leave a message read/unread if you're not interested. Please? Deleting gives a clear message to all but the most thick-skinned or arrogant of guys to try somewhere else, but when a message is read and not deleted I don't know where I am! Surely this is the most cruel response of all? I'm not sure why the poster above thinks doing this "stops them resending messages"? I don't send a message to anyone who has deleted one from me already, but I might occasionally try again if I thought my original was just overlooked or forgotten about? | |||
" I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases. In an ideal world I'd get a "thanks but no thanks" (without going into detail about my perceived shortcomings!) but I understand why women simply delete and that's fine by me. However, ladies PLEEEASEE don't just leave a message read/unread if you're not interested. Please? Deleting gives a clear message to all but the most thick-skinned or arrogant of guys to try somewhere else, but when a message is read and not deleted I don't know where I am! Surely this is the most cruel response of all? I'm not sure why the poster above thinks doing this "stops them resending messages"? I don't send a message to anyone who has deleted one from me already, but I might occasionally try again if I thought my original was just overlooked or forgotten about?" Not just you is messaging me though. I get plenty of pesterers who repeat message me. I'm sticking to what works for me on this site. It's not cruel. You send a message and then that should be it, no stalking your sent box to see if it's been read. but if you wanna torture yourself then go ahead and do that. You can get notifications for when someone messages you so wait for them instead. And yu can get your email to notify you via phone or whatever device you're using so do that instead. | |||
"Ooeeer even when I did reply it was never like that
A simple 'thanks but no thanks, good luck' response is much more me x" | |||
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" I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases. In an ideal world I'd get a "thanks but no thanks" (without going into detail about my perceived shortcomings!) but I understand why women simply delete and that's fine by me. However, ladies PLEEEASEE don't just leave a message read/unread if you're not interested. Please? Deleting gives a clear message to all but the most thick-skinned or arrogant of guys to try somewhere else, but when a message is read and not deleted I don't know where I am! Surely this is the most cruel response of all? I'm not sure why the poster above thinks doing this "stops them resending messages"? I don't send a message to anyone who has deleted one from me already, but I might occasionally try again if I thought my original was just overlooked or forgotten about? Not just you is messaging me though. I get plenty of pesterers who repeat message me. I'm sticking to what works for me on this site. It's not cruel. You send a message and then that should be it, no stalking your sent box to see if it's been read. but if you wanna torture yourself then go ahead and do that. You can get notifications for when someone messages you so wait for them instead. And yu can get your email to notify you via phone or whatever device you're using so do that instead." Just to clarify to other readers, AB is talking generally when she says "Not just you is messaging me" (sic). I haven't contacted her. I think the comment about not checking sent messages is a measure of the gulf between men and women's experiences on the site. Whilst I (thankfully) don't rely solely on this site to meet people, every message I send could be the one which brings a positive response after months of trying. In that context, I'm obviously curious to see if a message I've spent 30 minutes of my life crafting has been read, or whether I can mentally draw a line under that avenue and move on. I'm not exactly waiting with baited breath to know the instant a message is read, but neither am I "stalking" anything or anyone by checking my Outbox every now and then for the status of a particular communication I thought might stand a chance. Obviously you are perfectly at liberty to use the site as you wish, but I would still have thought it beneficial for both parties to delete, leaving the sender in no doubt that their advances aren't reciprocated. A lack of response may ultimately give the same outcome, but judging by posts from both men and women on the forum, this site is frustrating enough for both sides without turning it into a guessing game! And if you are having trouble with repeat pesterers isn't that what the block function is for? Something which also acts as a completely unambiguous "no thanks". | |||
" I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases. In an ideal world I'd get a "thanks but no thanks" (without going into detail about my perceived shortcomings!) but I understand why women simply delete and that's fine by me. However, ladies PLEEEASEE don't just leave a message read/unread if you're not interested. Please? Deleting gives a clear message to all but the most thick-skinned or arrogant of guys to try somewhere else, but when a message is read and not deleted I don't know where I am! Surely this is the most cruel response of all? I'm not sure why the poster above thinks doing this "stops them resending messages"? I don't send a message to anyone who has deleted one from me already, but I might occasionally try again if I thought my original was just overlooked or forgotten about? Not just you is messaging me though. I get plenty of pesterers who repeat message me. I'm sticking to what works for me on this site. It's not cruel. You send a message and then that should be it, no stalking your sent box to see if it's been read. but if you wanna torture yourself then go ahead and do that. You can get notifications for when someone messages you so wait for them instead. And yu can get your email to notify you via phone or whatever device you're using so do that instead. Just to clarify to other readers, AB is talking generally when she says "Not just you is messaging me" (sic). I haven't contacted her. I think the comment about not checking sent messages is a measure of the gulf between men and women's experiences on the site. Whilst I (thankfully) don't rely solely on this site to meet people, every message I send could be the one which brings a positive response after months of trying. In that context, I'm obviously curious to see if a message I've spent 30 minutes of my life crafting has been read, or whether I can mentally draw a line under that avenue and move on. I'm not exactly waiting with baited breath to know the instant a message is read, but neither am I "stalking" anything or anyone by checking my Outbox every now and then for the status of a particular communication I thought might stand a chance. Obviously you are perfectly at liberty to use the site as you wish, but I would still have thought it beneficial for both parties to delete, leaving the sender in no doubt that their advances aren't reciprocated. A lack of response may ultimately give the same outcome, but judging by posts from both men and women on the forum, this site is frustrating enough for both sides without turning it into a guessing game! And if you are having trouble with repeat pesterers isn't that what the block function is for? Something which also acts as a completely unambiguous "no thanks". " Yes sorry, i often talk generally but usually add that but not been doing this lately a fair bit. The blocklist breaks if you add too many people so i want to keep it as small as i can. It's for people who are abusive only - although i might not even shove them on it and let admin do the site block thing instead to keep it even smaller. I send messages to people myself. I spend most of my time on here looking for sex (when free to meet for sex) and yeah it'd be easier if people replied straight away but i give them a few minutes to reply and if i hear nothing i move onto someone else. I often chat to several potential meets at once too. But whatever, if i'm looking i'm doing whatever to get meets, even getting to know people who might not be free right now but maybe in the future. But i never waste my time in the sent box. It's pointless. My inbox is where the action is or starts so i stay in there. There's no guessing game. Someone interested will message you back. You can do what you want, but it doesn't work for me deleting all replies. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise?" Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested." There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them?" When I first joined a few years ago as a naive newby, so knew nothing about filters or swinging sites, before I'd even uploaded a pic of myself within that first 30 or so mins I had well over 100 messages! Every bloke gets the same idea "ooh fresh meat" and I'm sorry no one wants to just give you a friendly welcome to the site and that be the end of it, they give you a friendly welcome in hope of receiving a fuck | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. " Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire?" If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? | |||
"So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near?" Err, yes? Sheffield is a very large city, with a swinging club. There are a lot of men, single or otherwise, in Sheffield and close by, who will message a woman to 'introduce' themselves (read 'get in before the rush). You have no idea how scary it is for women new to this site when they first join to receive 100s of messages that you know aren't personalised in any way. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? When I first joined a few years ago as a naive newby, so knew nothing about filters or swinging sites, before I'd even uploaded a pic of myself within that first 30 or so mins I had well over 100 messages! Every bloke gets the same idea "ooh fresh meat" and I'm sorry no one wants to just give you a friendly welcome to the site and that be the end of it, they give you a friendly welcome in hope of receiving a fuck " Point taken, but mine is just that, a friendly welcome. Maybe we might chat about stuff, I'm not looking for a fuck initially, I'm looking to make a connection with someone. | |||
" It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire?" Oh dear. This is hard work. It would help if you actually read what I've written. Do you think you can do that? Yes? Ok. Every comment so far has been about your messaging, not mine. I have never said or implied that I send messages 200 miles or whatever. Where on earth did that come from? There I've made it nice and brief for you as I can see you do have a very limited attention span. I've even cut out the longer early passages | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? " C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? | |||
"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X" | |||
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"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really?" Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too  | |||
" It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? Oh dear. This is hard work. It would help if you actually read what I've written. Do you think you can do that? Yes? Ok. Every comment so far has been about your messaging, not mine. I have never said or implied that I send messages 200 miles or whatever. Where on earth did that come from? There I've made it nice and brief for you as I can see you do have a very limited attention span. I've even cut out the longer early passages " Where did it come from? I took the time to see where you actually were in relation to my home city. I've made it nice and brief as I can see you have limited intelligence. This is born out of your lowering yourself to insults. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too "That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens | |||
"I tend to say I'm not looking to meet anyone new right now but tbh so many men make such little effort ( especially not sending a clear face pic ) that they don't do themselves any favours..." But on the flip side of that is maybe their disheartened by the experience they've had up until that point that makes them not make such an effort. .I get that "hello how are you " messages are mundane but if you met someone in a club or on the street. .majority wouldn't have something clever,witty,funny etc to say. Personally for me (couple ) just a polite message was easily enough but hey everyone is different and you can't please everyone all of the time..that's the moral of this thread is believe | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens "Well there we are then. Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems.... | |||
"I tend to say I'm not looking to meet anyone new right now but tbh so many men make such little effort ( especially not sending a clear face pic ) that they don't do themselves any favours... But on the flip side of that is maybe their disheartened by the experience they've had up until that point that makes them not make such an effort. .I get that "hello how are you " messages are mundane but if you met someone in a club or on the street. .majority wouldn't have something clever,witty,funny etc to say. Personally for me (couple ) just a polite message was easily enough but hey everyone is different and you can't please everyone all of the time..that's the moral of this thread is believe " I really get your point about sending bland messages following continued disheartenment, I look at profiles and think "wow, I fit their bill" but then think "hang on, my last few messages to similar people have been deleted without reply, despite me composing something I thought was relevant". I've spent a while carefully composing a message. I then get despondent and put some generic message on. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens
Well there we are then.
Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems...."Personally, I wouldn't waste someone's time messaging them when I was hundreds of miles away. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens
Well there we are then.
Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems.... Personally, I wouldn't waste someone's time messaging them when I was hundreds of miles away."If both parties intend to meet regardless of distance how as anyone's time Ben wasted? | |||
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"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens
Well there we are then.
Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems.... Personally, I wouldn't waste someone's time messaging them when I was hundreds of miles away.
If both parties intend to meet regardless of distance how as anyone's time Ben wasted? "Really? You would meet someone who says they would drive 3+ hours to meet you? Think I need to broaden my boundaries then. People round here delete my messages when I'm 5 miles away. I'd travel for a genuine meet. I've been disappointed that many times that I keep messages close to home. I'd hate to travel that far and be disappointed. | |||
"I'd travel for a genuine meet. I've been disappointed that many times that I keep messages close to home. I'd hate to travel that far and be disappointed." There's so little action in York for me now I travel a long way for successful meets. You might be surprised. | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens
Well there we are then.
Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems.... Personally, I wouldn't waste someone's time messaging them when I was hundreds of miles away."Neither would I, but it seems plenty of guys do, and ,judging by current postings, quite a few of those manage to arrange meets, so they're not wasting their time | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens
Well there we are then.
Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems.... Personally, I wouldn't waste someone's time messaging them when I was hundreds of miles away.
If both parties intend to meet regardless of distance how as anyone's time Ben wasted? Really? You would meet someone who says they would drive 3+ hours to meet you? Think I need to broaden my boundaries then. People round here delete my messages when I'm 5 miles away. I'd travel for a genuine meet. I've been disappointed that many times that I keep messages close to home. I'd hate to travel that far and be disappointed."Yes I've already said I've met people of great distance (if prefer local but casting a wider net has its advantages) one of my regular friends with benefits drives from Cornwall to where I am and we always make a damn good night if it I also spent a week at his this last summer while my kids were staying with their dad for the holidays | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens
Well there we are then.
Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems.... Personally, I wouldn't waste someone's time messaging them when I was hundreds of miles away.
If both parties intend to meet regardless of distance how as anyone's time Ben wasted? Really? You would meet someone who says they would drive 3+ hours to meet you? Think I need to broaden my boundaries then. People round here delete my messages when I'm 5 miles away. I'd travel for a genuine meet. I've been disappointed that many times that I keep messages close to home. I'd hate to travel that far and be disappointed.
Yes I've already said I've met people of great distance (if prefer local but casting a wider net has its advantages) one of my regular friends with benefits drives from Cornwall to where I am and we always make a damn good night if it I also spent a week at his this last summer while my kids were staying with their dad for the holidays "I've travelled to Essex from Bucks for a really first class meet (actually did the trip 3 times)...not 200 miles but a fair distance and am lining up another overnight meet with another lady slightly further away so distance hasn't been a major issue with me at all | |||
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"I want the reply, its common courtesy tbh. " Some would argue that if you by a curteous reply, you should have the courtesy to read the persons profile before messaging them, shame so many fail to do so though | |||
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"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. "hey don't you just hate ninja mode | |||
"I want the reply, its common courtesy tbh. " No it isn't. Not saying thank you when someone gives you a gift is rude. Not saying thank you when someone does you a favour is rude. Sending a messages on Fabs is neither of these things. | |||
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"Made mistake of messaging someone on my 'Looked@me' list, once: "This message comes your way, with no strings or expectations. Please don't take it as anything more than a simple compliment. Nice job on the pics and the effort you've put in" Response was (shortened): "...youre fucking ugly... Dream on you ugly desperate fat twat!!!" Yup - I'd prefer no reply, thanks" Just so you are aware for future reference, It's against forum rules to post the contents of private messages publicly on the forum | |||
"I see a no reply as a no thanks. It's really straightforward. It doesn't matter if my message gets lost in amongst 100's of others because a) I very rarely initiate a message and b) they will find me eventually. I'm not in any hurry and I'm not desperate. With anything: once it stops being fun, stop. " | |||
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"Reply always shows manners, which cost nothing. We've had a guy mailing who will definitely be a no no. Tomorrow I'll mail back sayn thanx but not really what we're looking for. " As I regularly say, One could argue it's always good manners to read a profile people have gone to the effort of writing before messaging them, it's very rare they do, yet they expect the privilege of a reply or then you're the ignorant one. As with all negativitues ignorance breeds ignorance Another good angle is the junk mail analogy. I have a profile on here yes, but I'm not specifically asking anyone to message me because I'm capable of looking for and mailing people that interest me myself, yet of course I do receive mail that is therefore in a sense unsolicited, in the same way a company would send you a leaflet of unsolicited junk mail to try to advertise their products Or services to you. You respond to that junk mail if it appeals to you, if not it goes in the bin as you didn't ask for it and don't want it, I sincerely doubt you wrote a letter to the company to say thank you for trying to sell this to me but it's not for me, do you? | |||
"Another profile carefully read this afternoon, another polite friendly message sent, another message deleted without reply. The user had been on the site for around 30 mins and I sent a message welcoming them to the site. Really, how many "hundreds of messages" can you get in 30 mins? I think it's just how people are nowadays. It's easy to be rude and ignorant when you're hiding behind a keyboard. Then again, if someone is going to be that rude straight off the bat, do you really want to meet them? You want the answer to that? Hundreds, literally hundreds in that 30 mins. Everyone has the same idea as you to 'welcome' newbies. It's scary as fuck first joining any sex site, it's like wolves surrounding their prey. Really? I half suspected as much but didn't know the true scale of it. It shows though, how many arsehole men there are on here, sitting with their cocks out, ready to pounce on any profile, no matter how far away it is from them. I only message people who are 10 miles or less from me (unless I'm just chatting about stuff). These people spoil things for the genuine people on here. Oh that tired old argument again! Blame all the "arsehole men" that "spoil things for the genuine people" for the lack of replies or interest. How do you know they are far away? ...or that they're arseholes? They're just like you, chancing their arm with any newcomers to the site and are probably just as "genuine" as you are. Why would you assume otherwise? Ok chum, someone near me puts a profile on, I message. I don't message someone 200 miles away just because I have a hard on and a big opinion of myself. I'm a realist, it's not going to happen. So, your telling me that there are literally hundreds of men in my city of Sheffield waiting to pounce on a profile because they are near? No, just chancers who love themselves who will block message anyone and spoil it for the ones who genuinely are local and interested. There'll be enough of them willing to travel much further than this arbitrarily appointed distance of 10 miles for a meet. You've no idea how many there are or where they are...these are just random figures you're plucking from nowhere. But if it makes you feel better to demonise those out-of-towners, casting them all as chancers and dirty feckless rotters block messaging everyone in sight, spoiling it for you as one of the few local "genuine" guys in Sheffield, then you go ahead.... Personally I take responsibility for my failure or success on this site, and don't look about for mythical others to credit or blame. Really? So you message someone hundreds of miles away hoping you are going to "get lucky"?. I'm bisexual, I look at male profiles and roughly know how many guys there are on here from my home city. Would you message someone from where I live, knowing you live in Buckinghamshire? If he's willing to travel why wouldn't he message? C'mon Curvymamma, 200 miles, really? Yes ive had men travel great distances to meet me and I've travelled to meet them too
That's was an accidental halo my point was serious it happens
Well there we are then.
Some of those nasty "arseholes" who contact newcomers from outside the city limits of Sheffield, do travel long distances to meet it seems.... Personally, I wouldn't waste someone's time messaging them when I was hundreds of miles away.
If both parties intend to meet regardless of distance how as anyone's time Ben wasted? Really? You would meet someone who says they would drive 3+ hours to meet you? Think I need to broaden my boundaries then. People round here delete my messages when I'm 5 miles away. I'd travel for a genuine meet. I've been disappointed that many times that I keep messages close to home. I'd hate to travel that far and be disappointed."It's not your distance that's making them delete your messages. It's that they're not interested in having sex with you wherever you live. | |||
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"I HATE it with a passion when people don't reply. It's the equivalent of walking up to someone on the street and saying, "hi, how are you?" And them looking you up and down and walking the other way. It's infuriatingly rude." I agree. Think of it as a lucky escape though. | |||
"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X I learnt fairly early on that some guys think if you speak to them they take your manners as they can then manipulate you into meeting them. I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases. Most are extreme cases on my block list and so glad it never gets full .
Less than 20 on mine, so guys mainly are decent guys on here. shame we can't tell which are which until after we interact with them." Yes after a while you can tell nice from the idiots. | |||
"I HATE it with a passion when people don't reply. It's the equivalent of walking up to someone on the street and saying, "hi, how are you?" And them looking you up and down and walking the other way. It's infuriatingly rude." Or doing exactly the same thing in a club. Which happens more often than some want to admit. | |||
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"I HATE it with a passion when people don't reply. It's the equivalent of walking up to someone on the street and saying, "hi, how are you?" And them looking you up and down and walking the other way. It's infuriatingly rude." Or you could view it as someone says hi in the street, then when you say hi back they follow you trying to keep the conversation going so you end up regretting saying something! (Think chuggers) And (some)guys can be annoyingly persistent on here! Think of it as a no reply is better than a 'fuck off I said no' and block!  | |||
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"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. "No reply is ok. I know how this works and I'm grown up enough to not get huffy about it. | |||
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"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. "oh I like a reply but I sometimes find it very difficult to how decisions are made on the basis of one message !! You can't tell anything about a persons personality in many messages let alone one | |||
"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. oh I like a reply but I sometimes find it very difficult to how decisions are made on the basis of one message !! You can't tell anything about a persons personality in many messages let alone one "I'm not to bothered as to whether I get a reply or a delete! Either way I'm not ticking that persons boxes, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. | |||
"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. oh I like a reply but I sometimes find it very difficult to how decisions are made on the basis of one message !! You can't tell anything about a persons personality in many messages let alone one
I'm not to bothered as to whether I get a reply or a delete! Either way I'm not ticking that persons boxes, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. "hey it doesn't phase me anymore but it is amazing the decision making process on here | |||
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"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply. oh I like a reply but I sometimes find it very difficult to how decisions are made on the basis of one message !! You can't tell anything about a persons personality in many messages let alone one "So wrote a profile that represents your personality and wether people want to admit it or not this is a site for casual encounters looks play a big part in initial attraction the personality comes later and impacts attraction in other ways | |||
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"Ooeeer even when I did reply it was never like that
A simple 'thanks but no thanks, good luck' response is much more me x"Exactly this, why would anyone need to put not attractive in a no thanks message | |||
"Ooeeer even when I did reply it was never like that
A simple 'thanks but no thanks, good luck' response is much more me x
This
It's funny because I constantly read forum post from men asking why people don't reply to their messages. Even its to say no.
But how would they feel if that got worse than no?
It's kinda like be thankful they just deleted your message
"This. I can't think of anything more depressing than an inbox full of rejections | |||
"I don't send that many messages. When I do, it's after carefully reading someone's profile, ensuring I fit the persons bill, sending a polite message and always mentioning something they have put in their profile to prove I've read it. Send a handful in the last week, all deleted without reply. People go on about veris, how can you get any when people don't even reply to your messages? I've been on this site since 2009 and have noticed a definite increase in rude and ignorant people, be that the rude people sending messages or the rude people not replying to them. " So in 6+ years you've never had a reply, attended a social to get verified??? To me being on that long and still not verified would make me assume you don't meet | |||
"Or a message like " You're not attractive enough for me " then block. What's better for your ego? Some people would just want any reply.
Definitely we prefer a polite reply. Hate not knowing, as mature adults we understand different people will have different preferences to us, some people will have the same interests and preferences.....good manners are important in real life and important on fabs too - treat other people how you would like others to treat you....m x"Agree, i get shed load of messages but i make effort to reply,typing a no thanks doesn't take as long as people claim. Anyone asking "why" to a no thanks, those messages i just delete, as i dont feel i owe anyone on this site an explaination for any decision i make | |||
"Very very good point. There really isn't an easy answer to this. It's always going to be a case of can't do right for doing wrong. In future we will just delete the message because we have had serious abuse when we have sent back a polite "thanks but no thanks" I tried the polite.. Thanks but no thanks... But that was met with.. Why?.. Or abuse.. So now I just delete and block save either person any time wasting. X I learnt fairly early on that some guys think if you speak to them they take your manners as they can then manipulate you into meeting them. I don't even delete, it stops them resending messages. I don't want to fill up my blocklist in case it breaks so using it for extreme cases. Most are extreme cases on my block list and so glad it never gets full .
Less than 20 on mine, so guys mainly are decent guys on here. shame we can't tell which are which until after we interact with them."Profiles should have a feedback % positive or negative a bit like a seller on eBay but scored on manners for all to see | |||
" Profiles should have a feedback % positive or negative a bit like a seller on eBay but scored on manners for all to see " Because that wouldn't be open to abuse at all...  | |||
