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How would you feel?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
The room was £80 and in the morning he says 'here's half'.
I tried to decline it, saying it had cost him so much just to get there, it didn't seem fair.
He left the cash anyway and left me with a passionate kiss.....
So why do I feel like I was paid? 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm used to just paying for everything. It's a rare day a female I've dated pays her way.
This is all fairly new to me. I've been bought gifts on occasion too. That still seems a bit odd. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
The room was £80 and in the morning he says 'here's half'.
I tried to decline it, saying it had cost him so much just to get there, it didn't seem fair.
He left the cash anyway and left me with a passionate kiss.....
So why do I feel like I was paid?
"
So are you considering not seeing this person again and sticking with the alternative?
Seems standard. 
(Only playing with you by the way  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm used to just paying for everything. It's a rare day a female I've dated pays her way.
This is all fairly new to me. I've been bought gifts on occasion too. That still seems a bit odd. "
Welcome to the world where insisting on paying your way risks bruising his ego, while the alternative makes you seem like a gold-digger.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I guess he didn't pay for the whole room. I wouldn't have liked that.
He was certainly very respectful and tender and the little sleep we did get was wrapped in his arms.
Perhaps I am just focusing on the money of the bedside table and thinking it's something it wasn't. |
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"Well I guess he didn't pay for the whole room. I wouldn't have liked that.
He was certainly very respectful and tender and the little sleep we did get was wrapped in his arms.
Perhaps I am just focusing on the money of the bedside table and thinking it's something it wasn't. "
Sounds lovely to me xxx I would of done the same as your a lovely woman and would of wanted to go halves on the room also xxx Think your mind saw a negative because you had so many positives that night xxx Sometimes out minds make us think we dont derserve the people we meet or the expeirences we have xxx If he wants to meet you again your bound to have a great time again xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well I guess he didn't pay for the whole room. I wouldn't have liked that.
He was certainly very respectful and tender and the little sleep we did get was wrapped in his arms.
Perhaps I am just focusing on the money of the bedside table and thinking it's something it wasn't.
Sounds lovely to me xxx I would of done the same as your a lovely woman and would of wanted to go halves on the room also xxx Think your mind saw a negative because you had so many positives that night xxx Sometimes out minds make us think we dont derserve the people we meet or the expeirences we have xxx If he wants to meet you again your bound to have a great time again xxx"
Aw. Thank you so much for that. I think you may well be onto something there. I don't see myself as others say they do. I find it a little alien when people are nice to me. |
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"Well I guess he didn't pay for the whole room. I wouldn't have liked that.
He was certainly very respectful and tender and the little sleep we did get was wrapped in his arms.
Perhaps I am just focusing on the money of the bedside table and thinking it's something it wasn't.
Sounds lovely to me xxx I would of done the same as your a lovely woman and would of wanted to go halves on the room also xxx Think your mind saw a negative because you had so many positives that night xxx Sometimes out minds make us think we dont derserve the people we meet or the expeirences we have xxx If he wants to meet you again your bound to have a great time again xxx
Aw. Thank you so much for that. I think you may well be onto something there. I don't see myself as others say they do. I find it a little alien when people are nice to me. "
No problem xxx You shouldnt be so hard on yourself xxx Your stunning and he thought the same and your were great company to him xxx Theres plenty of guys like us out there that respect and apprieciate those close moments xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please sweet take the gift with grace - he wanted you and your company was worth his travelling expenses and more. For the most part I have met only real true gentleman here and I sincerely offer to pay half of any bill and very rarely would they allow it. He was a gentleman in the company of a lady - accept his gift
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
The room was £80 and in the morning he says 'here's half'.
I tried to decline it, saying it had cost him so much just to get there, it didn't seem fair.
He left the cash anyway and left me with a passionate kiss.....
So why do I feel like I was paid?
"
if you paid half the room then no. The only way you would have been paid is if you have more money than when you set off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Please sweet take the gift with grace - he wanted you and your company was worth his travelling expenses and more. For the most part I have met only real true gentleman here and I sincerely offer to pay half of any bill and very rarely would they allow it. He was a gentleman in the company of a lady - accept his gift
X "
It does seem unfair that he spent so much but it was one hell of a passionate night. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because you're being silly
I think that's what I need to hear. I get over emotional and over think everything.  "
Feelings are neither right nor wrong.....they are just feelings any cousellor/psychologist will confirm that.
Secondly why could you see him as a gentleman, which he sounded like from all a counts.
He wasn'tpaying you......He was paying half of the bill as any decent guy should.
Thirdly if he is anything like myself I'd have been kicking myself for days afterwards that I hadn't. I know cos I did once because she was being embarrassing over the half.... oh....and if it had been an £80 dinner how would you have felt?
Be blessed you met a real gent.
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I get the seeing money on the side issue. But maybe it's because we don't use cash much these days that it looks even more 'sinister'?
But in the often secret world we operate in cash is not traceable to his bank account. So just look at it that way.
He paid his half, the travel was up to him  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
"
His ballbag must have really needing 'an empty' to have made that trek. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
His ballbag must have really needing 'an empty' to have made that trek."
Apparently I'm worth it  |
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"He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
His ballbag must have really needing 'an empty' to have made that trek.
Apparently I'm worth it "
I agree with that statement you are xxx |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I've regularly got a train to meet someone closer to where they live or meet someone in the middle. I've never expected them to worry about my travel costs or vice versa; I made the decision to travel and my mode of transport and expect to go halves on the hotel room but not that. It doesn't enter the equation. Stop second guessing what was a logical gesture and enjoy the fact you had a great meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh I think I'll be seeing him again. First meet was a club but they kicked us out when they shut! Where did all those hours go!
So we got a room the second time.
I think we need to meet again. Hopefully he'll want to again. Perhaps I'll go to London this time. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
OP, there seems to be an obvious solution to the dilemma. It sounds like you both had a great night, so now you arrange to visit a hotel near him, have another awesome night of sex, and pay for half the hotel. That way you'll both be fucked, but not fucked over More sex is the only answer! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm happy with going Dutch. I think it was just seeing cash on the table. I over think things, as I said earlier.
I'll even it up by doing the travelling next time and leave my share of the hotel on the side for him.
I might give him a tip too if he lasts as long again  |
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"He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
The room was £80 and in the morning he says 'here's half'.
I tried to decline it, saying it had cost him so much just to get there, it didn't seem fair.
He left the cash anyway and left me with a passionate kiss.....
So why do I feel like I was paid?
"
If this arises as an issue when agreeing to meet - I get around that by saying I will pay the hotel thefirst time - they pay the next time |
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"I'm happy with going Dutch. I think it was just seeing cash on the table. I over think things, as I said earlier.
I'll even it up by doing the travelling next time and leave my share of the hotel on the side for him.
I might give him a tip too if he lasts as long again "
Personally when i do it i give the money to them or vice versa first while still clothed say this is for my half of the room xxx. Then once thats over get down to some serious lovin! xxx |
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"He's travelled three hours by train from London. Then paid for a taxi to get from the station to the hotel.
The room was £80 and in the morning he says 'here's half'.
I tried to decline it, saying it had cost him so much just to get there, it didn't seem fair.
He left the cash anyway and left me with a passionate kiss.....
So why do I feel like I was paid?
"
Its not though as he left half the cost of the room you could look at it the other way and he could have felt he was being paid if you paid all the room costs. 50/50 think on it like that as everyone has to travel if not entertaining at home. |
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