FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Can a single man get a break???
Can a single man get a break???
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Ive not long come back to fab after a short break. I've noticed it's near on impossible for a single male on here. Is there anyone who shares this frustration or can offer some words of advice. No trolling please. |
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"Ive not long come back to fab after a short break. I've noticed it's near on impossible for a single male on here. Is there anyone who shares this frustration or can offer some words of advice. No trolling please. "
What was it like when you were here before? |
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I think there are lots of people who share your view judging by the frequency of threads like this. I don't know what to suggest but I guess if you've been here before you'll know that you get out what you put in.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you tried POF or one of normal dating sites. Seriously..... swinging is a bit niche mate, with perhaps only 10-15% of population doing it and probably females doing it 1-2%. 80% of blokes would do it if they could so your chances of finding fun are pretty small to be perfectly honest.
You might have more luck on a dating site, Say on your profile your looking for fun with a great big wink after it and be honest with the fems you chat with about what you'd like to do and hey presto it's sorted 
There...... Doctor Naughty to the rescue
NEXT............. |
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I see this kind of post often and can't help feeling that Fab is the be all and end all for too many guys out there.
The key is to chill a bit.
Put Fab alongside your other social life activities and take it as it comes.
If you get a meet, great. If you don't - do what Frankie says:
Relax
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried POF or one of normal dating sites. Seriously..... swinging is a bit niche mate, with perhaps only 10-15% of population doing it and probably females doing it 1-2%. 80% of blokes would do it if they could so your chances of finding fun are pretty small to be perfectly honest.
You might have more luck on a dating site, Say on your profile your looking for fun with a great big wink after it and be honest with the fems you chat with about what you'd like to do and hey presto it's sorted
There...... Doctor Naughty to the rescue
NEXT............."
This is the post of the year. Thank you
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"Ive not long come back to fab after a short break. I've noticed it's near on impossible for a single male on here. Is there anyone who shares this frustration or can offer some words of advice. No trolling please. "
. As marketing yourself correctly is important in order to get to the starting line of the race , a profile will need considerable thought and good preparation in addition to interesting pictures . It needs to be at least fifteen lines
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"Ive not long come back to fab after a short break. I've noticed it's near on impossible for a single male on here. Is there anyone who shares this frustration or can offer some words of advice. No trolling please. "
I,m nearly 60 ugly as sin and I do ok just be patient, look at your profile and ask yourself "would I meet this person" if you answer yes leave it alone if you answer no change the bit that put you off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When messaging people make sure you put some thought in to the message, you've acknowledged that single guys have it hard so make sure your message is personal, not a copy and paste generic spam. We get dozens of messages every day, I messaged a guy back this morning and praised him on how he had read our profile, addressed us personally and to carry on with that and it will happen - although he wasn't for us. It doesn't take long to work out what messages are c&p and that is guaranteed to offend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried POF or one of normal dating sites. Seriously..... swinging is a bit niche mate, with perhaps only 10-15% of population doing it and probably females doing it 1-2%. 80% of blokes would do it if they could so your chances of finding fun are pretty small to be perfectly honest.
You might have more luck on a dating site, Say on your profile your looking for fun with a great big wink after it and be honest with the fems you chat with about what you'd like to do and hey presto it's sorted
There...... Doctor Naughty to the rescue
NEXT.............
This is the post of the year. Thank you
"
And that is a seriously good looking cock you have there on your profile so complement returned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol, I just kinda hang around for the community vibe and to view photos. I enjoy my own photos being on show too. But it is very hard for us male singletons to get far. Or maybe there's just a select few who get all the goodies and we get to hear about it lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried POF or one of normal dating sites. Seriously..... swinging is a bit niche mate, with perhaps only 10-15% of population doing it and probably females doing it 1-2%. 80% of blokes would do it if they could so your chances of finding fun are pretty small to be perfectly honest.
You might have more luck on a dating site, Say on your profile your looking for fun with a great big wink after it and be honest with the fems you chat with about what you'd like to do and hey presto it's sorted
There...... Doctor Naughty to the rescue
NEXT.............
This is the post of the year. Thank you
And that is a seriously good looking cock you have there on your profile so complement returned."
Thank you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol, I just kinda hang around for the community vibe and to view photos. I enjoy my own photos being on show too. But it is very hard for us male singletons to get far. Or maybe there's just a select few who get all the goodies and we get to hear about it lol. "
I think the guys who do well on here. Tend to do well offline also And use this as bonus sex.
I use the swinging world to have all my kinky fun. While I'm dating vanilla girls. If it becomes a serious relationship. I take a break from swinging and focus on my vanilla relationship.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guys get plenty breaks, just keep your expectations managed, you've had a meet in the three months you've been here, not too bad, many go much longer...
Keep chatting, go clubs, go to events, keep being present and just be yourself, you'll be ok, just take your foot off the gas a little is all and don't expect to be up to your eyes in offers all the time...
Good luck |
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There is nothing wrong with your profile. But there are so many guys to choose from I imagine it must be pretty hard.
I know this is a sex site but I get the feeling to many men just expect sex. Not saying that's definitely you O.P
Only advice I can give is be patient and try making friends with women on chats forms and pm's so we get to know your personality rather than a profile. That way when a woman is looking for someone they may think of you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My experience is this from the times I've been a member.
Have absolutely no expectation about the site whatsoever. You will hardly get any response to a message you send and it will generally be deleted so don't even bother.
Engage with people in the forums. Be polite, be funny, be opinionated but don't be rude. When women and couples start to see your personality show through they will start to notice you, they may check out your profile, send you a wink or send you a message. What you do with these seeds is up to you.
The comments about joining PoF or Tinder are also valid. There are lots of women in those sites who just want sex but wouldn't think about joining a swinging site, yet the ratio of men to women isn't so cavernous. Many in fact are curios about clubs or having a threesome. The skill is learning how to talk about it without sounding like a deviant sex pest. |
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Stop being a single guy?
I teamed up with a straight guy and set up a joint profile where we play with ladies (not each other) and the number of meets arranged has exploded. Some of the meets have actually happened.
Even getting more attention on the single profile, as well. |
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I just think there's way too many single guys on here and so women can take their pick. I'll only answer messages ( and I do ), if the person is either offering something that I want or is v funny/ intelligent or super hot! There's so many generic, short, not v interesting profiles that you have to find a way to make yourself stand out.
The advice re Tinder and PoF is good too if all you're looking for is a quick shag! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I quite agree that there's too many single guys on here so women can pick and choose.
It does seem pointless messaging people who take your fancy to only find that what you've put effort into writing is just not read 
I think the best way is to get out there and go to socials not just in your town but those nearby and get to know people. Chat, be friendly,engaging and funny. Show your personality Go to clubs and events and hopefully people will remember you and look you up next time they fancy a chat or if you're lucky, to meet up. But never expect anything...if it happens then it'll come as a nice surprise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The bottom line is women receive so many messages and many guys don't even know what the woman looks like ,so the women can take their pick ,women rule on these site and can pick and choose who they speak to ,you can tell the nice people because they don't let you down and they reply to your messages ,if sex is your sole intent and that comes across in every message then your success rate will be reduced ,humour is good and good pics ,some will say meet in clubs but you will get same effect there and be £40-70 lighter ,just plod away and don't be impatient    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find these posts fascinating. Two of my male partners use swinging sites - as single men - and they both meet more than enough people to keep them occupied.
However they would never dream of sending h kinds of messages that I largely get sent by men.
Guys might kid themselves and think they're not getting laid because they're an Adonis - but my partners certainly aren't Adonises either (well, one of them is a skinny-runner version maybe). At the end of the day so much comes down to personality. Not your penis, or your flat stomach, or your face, but your personality and your ability to behave like a decent human being. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When Mr was on as a single to be honest he had two meets at least most weeks. He was very proactive on chat and cheeky and just never expected anything.
When we met he was accompanying women to clubs, in some cases two at a time.. and was never short of a single lady or two.
So get involved... Be chatty and forget the sex side... As that is a almost the bi product of being social x but do not expect it x |
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I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded. |
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Patience is definitely the key,but so many guys is a real issue both for us,and also choices for the ladies. Another problem is so many ladies stating they won't meet someone who isn't already verified...kind of a vicious circle... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded."
Many people will also find that attitude problematic.
Treat people as individuals. Not as another man's property. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded."
This is also good advice. If a guy/girl/ or couple only speaks to one of us, or treats us as a single we wouldn't meet. We are a couple and I am much more impressed if a someone treats as as such.
In clubs I would expect them to ask the opposite partner if it was okay or if they wanted to play with both as us both x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded.
This is also good advice. If a guy/girl/ or couple only speaks to one of us, or treats us as a single we wouldn't meet. We are a couple and I am much more impressed if a someone treats as as such.
In clubs I would expect them to ask the opposite partner if it was okay or if they wanted to play with both as us both x "
You're a couple yet only have face pics of the female on here so you can't really be surprised if messages are mainly aimed at the woman surely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded.
This is also good advice. If a guy/girl/ or couple only speaks to one of us, or treats us as a single we wouldn't meet. We are a couple and I am much more impressed if a someone treats as as such.
In clubs I would expect them to ask the opposite partner if it was okay or if they wanted to play with both as us both x
You're a couple yet only have face pics of the female on here so you can't really be surprised if messages are mainly aimed at the woman surely?"
Nope... As Mr can't have his public I can. And I'm talking about in clubs mostly as we approach single guys ourselves if we want them. And if we message will send a face photo of us both.
And it also does say couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded.
This is also good advice. If a guy/girl/ or couple only speaks to one of us, or treats us as a single we wouldn't meet. We are a couple and I am much more impressed if a someone treats as as such.
In clubs I would expect them to ask the opposite partner if it was okay or if they wanted to play with both as us both x "
I think this is a good rule to have. Because it means that people who don't want those that only come as a pair don't accidentally shag one of you! |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded."
The "handful of idiots" actually should make it easier for good guys to stand out. I do not judge people by others behaviour. Everyone gets a fair chance.
And on my couples profile, if anyone asked him to share me, they would be told I have a mind of my own, and I am not some chattel to be decided on without my input. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded.
This is also good advice. If a guy/girl/ or couple only speaks to one of us, or treats us as a single we wouldn't meet. We are a couple and I am much more impressed if a someone treats as as such.
In clubs I would expect them to ask the opposite partner if it was okay or if they wanted to play with both as us both x
You're a couple yet only have face pics of the female on here so you can't really be surprised if messages are mainly aimed at the woman surely?
Nope... As Mr can't have his public I can. And I'm talking about in clubs mostly as we approach single guys ourselves if we want them. And if we message will send a face photo of us both.
And it also does say couple "
That's fair enough. I have though seen posts from women in couples who have said they'd hate a single man in a club to ask their partner for permission to play with them as they are their own person and can decide for themselves who they want to play with.
Seems like single men can't win. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded.
This is also good advice. If a guy/girl/ or couple only speaks to one of us, or treats us as a single we wouldn't meet. We are a couple and I am much more impressed if a someone treats as as such.
In clubs I would expect them to ask the opposite partner if it was okay or if they wanted to play with both as us both x
You're a couple yet only have face pics of the female on here so you can't really be surprised if messages are mainly aimed at the woman surely?
Nope... As Mr can't have his public I can. And I'm talking about in clubs mostly as we approach single guys ourselves if we want them. And if we message will send a face photo of us both.
And it also does say couple
That's fair enough. I have though seen posts from women in couples who have said they'd hate a single man in a club to ask their partner for permission to play with them as they are their own person and can decide for themselves who they want to play with.
Seems like single men can't win."
I think it doesn't hurt to talk to both people.. even if you only want one. You can sus it out And ask.. but when Mr started as a single guy in a cclub he was told to always talk to the guy as well.
I think for single guys if they are social and really see sex or play as just the cherry on top that they will do well.
We recently met a newbie guy.. had he messaged us I'd of said no due to age and facial hair but he was polite and really making an effort to chat. So Mr invited him to join us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get yourself known, either on the forums or in clubs. Let your personality shine through. Treat people as human beings with feelings, not just a receptacle. For the vast majority of ladies, its not just your cock they want, they need to be attracted to you too. Just because a man may have a six pack and a big dick, it doesn't necessarily mean he isn't a complete fucktard |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"I find these posts fascinating. Two of my male partners use swinging sites - as single men - and they both meet more than enough people to keep them occupied.
However they would never dream of sending h kinds of messages that I largely get sent by men.
Guys might kid themselves and think they're not getting laid because they're an Adonis - but my partners certainly aren't Adonises either (well, one of them is a skinny-runner version maybe). At the end of the day so much comes down to personality. Not your penis, or your flat stomach, or your face, but your personality and your ability to behave like a decent human being."
My response to these threads is always the same, and possibly a more concise version of your post.
"Don't be a dickhead" |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"Have you tried POF or one of normal dating sites. Seriously..... swinging is a bit niche mate, with perhaps only 10-15% of population doing it and probably females doing it 1-2%. 80% of blokes would do it if they could so your chances of finding fun are pretty small to be perfectly honest.
You might have more luck on a dating site, Say on your profile your looking for fun with a great big wink after it and be honest with the fems you chat with about what you'd like to do and hey presto it's sorted
There...... Doctor Naughty to the rescue
NEXT............."
In the interests of "balance" I do far better here than I ever did on POF. |
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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago
Hereford |
"If i were a single man id just hit the chatroom non stop. Get noticed. Not just watch cams or stay in the background.... with people
This does work "
Yes, it worked for me, except my first ever meet was in Telford...
That took some arranging... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If i were a single man id just hit the chatroom non stop. Get noticed. Not just watch cams or stay in the background.... with people
This does work "
It does but I'd say don't sit there and be a sheep. Ie go on about how amazing all the ladies on cam look, or how you are hard looking at their photos, or how much you want to tap that. find a way to join in. And be aware that at the start the chat room is a bit hard work.
However the more you prove you can be social and are not just perving... Then the regulars will start to recognise you and you will soon be included x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive not long come back to fab after a short break. I've noticed it's near on impossible for a single male on here. Is there anyone who shares this frustration or can offer some words of advice. No trolling please. "
I disagree massively all depends on the person you are and the friendships you make |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on this site for over a year. It's only hard for single men because of a handful of idiots. I have met amazing single women and generous couples. Be patient and remember that you're asking a man to share his wife or girlfriend with you. Only the worthy get rewarded.
This is also good advice. If a guy/girl/ or couple only speaks to one of us, or treats us as a single we wouldn't meet. We are a couple and I am much more impressed if a someone treats as as such.
It's called respect chat to them both and front the question to them both don't undermine one to get to the other I'd always ask the guy ifhe was ok that I could play with his partner obv if there was mutual attraction between myself and the female x
In clubs I would expect them to ask the opposite partner if it was okay or if they wanted to play with both as us both x
You're a couple yet only have face pics of the female on here so you can't really be surprised if messages are mainly aimed at the woman surely?
Nope... As Mr can't have his public I can. And I'm talking about in clubs mostly as we approach single guys ourselves if we want them. And if we message will send a face photo of us both.
And it also does say couple
That's fair enough. I have though seen posts from women in couples who have said they'd hate a single man in a club to ask their partner for permission to play with them as they are their own person and can decide for themselves who they want to play with.
Seems like single men can't win."
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"Absolutely and if you are over 60 then obviously you are truly f**cked"
. Age is irrelevant as members have age filters and lots want to meet older people . .
In sone ways older members should be at an advantage as they appreciate the importance of writing a detailed , informed and interesting profile together. with good ppictures ..
Maturity should bring lots of benefits if used properly . |
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If this site is your only source of sex, you will be frustrated,
The ratio of men to women is very high.
If you treat it as an occasional bonus, it's fine.
It's a very small element of my sexual explorations. And an even smaller part of my overall life. But then I am not interested in multiple shags per week. |
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"Absolutely and if you are over 60 then obviously you are truly f**cked. Age is irrelevant as members have age filters and lots want to meet older people . .
In sone ways older members should be at an advantage as they appreciate the importance of writing a detailed , informed and interesting profile together. with good ppictures ..
Maturity should bring lots of benefits if used properly . "
I totally agree....and it does |
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"Ive not long come back to fab after a short break. I've noticed it's near on impossible for a single male on here. Is there anyone who shares this frustration or can offer some words of advice. No trolling please. "
afternoon OP, I guess it all comes down to luck and presentation/ how you come across to people on here as well so no need to get frustrated. Me for e.g. I have noticed that my problem when it comes to women be it on here or real life is that I tend to sooner or later bore them to death one way or the other, now I can say there are plenty off other reasons too on my part which is why I can't keep them interested when the odd occasion comes and a nice girl shows interest but end off the day the part off me boring them to death is the main factor.....now I can either learn from the past or just make changes and keep on trying once In a while or just hang em up kick back and just watch everyone else do their thing be it on fab or real life...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a numbers game mate. Throw enough shit eventually some will stick
Nice analogy.  "
i completly agree its a numbers game:
because im a bit bored, ive done a quick poll of msgs today...out of 32 messages, 1, yes, 1!...was from someone who had read my profile...so yes, from my point of view its very much a numbers game.....hard to find the tiny percentage of men on here who do anything but blindly blanket bomb any woman as soon as they come on line...i would also say a significant number of those msgs were from men who did the exact same in the last couple of days.. |
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The way I see it, there are a lot of dudes out here for sex wherever they can get it. If you want a higher chance of success, know what you're aiming for and capitalise on thag in your profile description. My profile isn't that detailed tbh but it captures the main points of why I'm here and what type of people I'm looking to find. Believe it or not when couples or girls read your profile from either a local scan (what I like to call it) or a verification or however they come across your profile, if they see that you are into similar things without having to send it in a message, you will have more people interested in you.
Sorting out a meet at the moment but until I understood this, I ised to get like a message a week and usually from a dude (No offence to any gay/bisexuals here but that's not really my thing), but now I get a few messages per day. So
Know what you're looking for and go for that. |
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