FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What are the unwritten rules (for this newbie)?
What are the unwritten rules (for this newbie)?
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Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x |
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Ignore and block them. Why strangers feel the need to comment on your life I will never know. Use the site how you want to and tell everyone else to bugger off. As long as you are happy then that is all that matters. Try not to let imbeciles behind a keyboard bring you down x |
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We could tell you, but then they'd be written rules... 
Seriously, what they said ^^
We all go a bit mad when we first start (those of us that can anyway) and if you're getting nasty comments, it's because they're not getting any.
If it bothers you, you don't have to show your veris
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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oh did you not know it only ok for guys to be banging a new girl every night it not for the ladies to do the same. esp on a site that is for meeting and hooking up lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x"
Shit, you came on a swinging site and ended up having sex! Say it ain't so!
The unwritten rule is that though shalt block AND report trolls because they are sad losers who can't stand other people having fun when they aren't. Also use filters x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd fuck 3 guys a day and get veris off them all, lol. This attracts guys who like women who fuck a lot of guys, usually. Which is fun coz you can talk about stuff with each other and get off on that as well as fucking.
Don't feel bad about it. YOUr sex life has nothing to do with anyone except YOU.
I actually had on my profile that 'i don't have to explain myself to anyone on here coz we aren't dating or married, we are NSA at best'. Fuck anyone who isn't even NSA with me.
Report rude people and then block them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x"
If you're not attracted to black or Asian guys . Please put it your profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
x"
That if you have a nagging feeling that someone is a bit wierd based on the email exchange, they probably are, so don't meet them, block and hit search |
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The biggest unwritten rule is - they are your rules.
Swinging should be done how you want it to be. Never feel guilty about it. There will be plenty with a common mind set.
Always play safe, and if you give out your number make sure it's a play only phone. Never give your personal one.
Oh, and if it's not fun - don't do it. All of this should be fun and hassle free. 
Enjoy!!
D |
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OMG, you guys are all so awesome, thank you so much for all your supportive replies!
3 3 3 3 3
Yeah, I thought veris were a good thing too... might put them back up once I get over this.
Thank you all again, you've all been very kind! And the advice - all taken on board!
xxxxxxxx |
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Do with your verifications what you want - display all, none or some. No doubt people would feel 6 verifications in 7 days is too much and maybe keep away, some would want to join
Ask yourself - are you having fun, is it legal and are you causing harm to anyone? Have fun.................. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The inconvenient truth is that you have a choice whether to take offence at something. I accept that it's natural to take offence at a nasty message but when you learn to feel utter contempt for the kind of people that send them, then you won't actually feel offended by then in future.
I like to think of this a stiff upper lip and other people like think of it as 'being a dispassionate asshole'. The irony being that a dispassionate asshole doesn't care about being called a dispassionate asshole. |
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Haha! I was like a kid in a sweetie shop when I discovered a website full of fellow deviants! Knock yourself out lovely... please yourself what you do cause it's no-one else's business but yours. 
Enjoy! |
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I once got some comments from a snotty madam when I put on here that I'd had sex with 100ish men in the 3 years I had been on here, didn't I have standards, did I fuck just anyone etc etc.
So no there are no unwritten rules on this site but there are people who HAVE to comment on how you choose to live your life. Some expect other people to do things exactly the same way they do and if you don't then YOU are wrong. Don't come into this with the mistaken idea that swingers are open minded, we are all just people and can be just as judgemental as anyone else.
Be prepared for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I once got some comments from a snotty madam when I put on here that I'd had sex with 100ish men in the 3 years I had been on here, didn't I have standards, did I fuck just anyone etc etc.
So no there are no unwritten rules on this site but there are people who HAVE to comment on how you choose to live your life. Some expect other people to do things exactly the same way they do and if you don't then YOU are wrong. Don't come into this with the mistaken idea that swingers are open minded, we are all just people and can be just as judgemental as anyone else.
Be prepared for that "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
About month after I joined I got a message saying that there "was talk about me in forums" at first I was like what the hell and then thought you know what fu*k it, we are adults who enjoy what we do. yes if you have to many can come across as easy but at same time that you are enjoying life and we only live once enjoy it as much as you can x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x"
hey look having fun is great maybe publicising it, not so ,why do you need to tell ,it obviously in this case didn't help you to have more fun ,people get jealous I am not a fan of the verification system its notches on your belt and really is there as a guide to tell if your prospective next meet is a safe prospect but even this is open to abuse via fake profiles ,so be careful ok   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x"
The only person you need to please is your self. If your having just go for it |
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"Ignore and block them. Why strangers feel the need to comment on your life I will never know. Use the site how you want to and tell everyone else to bugger off. As long as you are happy then that is all that matters. Try not to let imbeciles behind a keyboard bring you down x"
I think I'll add to what Rumple says....just ignore the rudes, report them and block them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Nothing wrong in it at all! You should display your verifications.
Send me a message for a face pic - I like your pics and profile and would like to be added to your list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x hey look having fun is great maybe publicising it, not so ,why do you need to tell ,it obviously in this case didn't help you to have more fun ,people get jealous I am not a fan of the verification system its notches on your belt and really is there as a guide to tell if your prospective next meet is a safe prospect but even this is open to abuse via fake profiles ,so be careful ok "
Is this because you have one in 5 months?
Anyway, report block and forget them OP, they've sought you out just to be arseholes, it's their issue, you use fab however you see fit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's your profile and you are only on here to please one person, and that is you.
Do what makes you happy, the ones that dislike what you do can move on to someone they are compatible with. If they stick their nose in where it's not wanted then report and block
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Be prepared to up your age limit to say... 54 when you see a good looking flirty guy from Swindon - it's a real un-written rule - you must obey it!"
Excellent advice on upping the age limit - you could be pleasantly surprised! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ok here's the thing .
We are delighted for the op , using the site for its intended purpose , having fun , and that's what we have been doing for almost a year .
But , there are a whole lot of judgemental people on here .
Look how many people bang on about quality over quantity , not here to to shag the site etc.....
Now that's cool , each to their own and all that , but when they judge us it's simply out of order .
They think we are disease ridden filth , with no standards , and if that's their opinion we wouldn't want to meet them anyway !
So it's your choice op , learn to see it for what it is and carry on having fun with like minded people . Ignore the haters .
Or hide the veris and summary , and run the risk of meeting the haters - which won't be half as much fun as you're having now |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"Ok here's the thing .
We are delighted for the op , using the site for its intended purpose , having fun , and that's what we have been doing for almost a year .
But , there are a whole lot of judgemental people on here .
Look how many people bang on about quality over quantity , not here to to shag the site etc.....
Now that's cool , each to their own and all that , but when they judge us it's simply out of order .
They think we are disease ridden filth , with no standards , and if that's their opinion we wouldn't want to meet them anyway !
So it's your choice op , learn to see it for what it is and carry on having fun with like minded people . Ignore the haters .
Or hide the veris and summary , and run the risk of meeting the haters - which won't be half as much fun as you're having now "
Great advice and lashings of common sense as always! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok here's the thing .
We are delighted for the op , using the site for its intended purpose , having fun , and that's what we have been doing for almost a year .
But , there are a whole lot of judgemental people on here .
Look how many people bang on about quality over quantity , not here to to shag the site etc.....
Now that's cool , each to their own and all that , but when they judge us it's simply out of order .
They think we are disease ridden filth , with no standards , and if that's their opinion we wouldn't want to meet them anyway !
So it's your choice op , learn to see it for what it is and carry on having fun with like minded people . Ignore the haters .
Or hide the veris and summary , and run the risk of meeting the haters - which won't be half as much fun as you're having now "
Here here!!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I thought 'swinging' was all about the break down of taboos and freedom from rules, etc. I was wrong, I wish I wasn't. Do your own thing - message me for a chat too |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Cruel or rude comments usually come from those who are not having as much fun as you are
Ok next time I will get abused please remind everyone this "
Amazingly, this site is not just about you. |
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"Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x
Shit, you came on a swinging site and ended up having sex! Say it ain't so!
The unwritten rule is that though shalt block AND report trolls because they are sad losers who can't stand other people having fun when they aren't. Also use filters x"
Also you...please remember this to everyone who abuse me |
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"Cruel or rude comments usually come from those who are not having as much fun as you are
Ok next time I will get abused please remind everyone this
Amazingly, this site is not just about you."
Read the comment of the other lady |
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Babes, you will even have `lovely` people turn on you ,once rejected or at some percieved slight so,
Harden up/treat like a pinch of salt
Use that block Button,religiously
Get on with playing YOUR game and fuck the haters.There are loads here.
You just need ignore them so you can concentrate on the Nice ones,of which there are plenty.
|
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Be the player, not the played"
And it is easier, people scream out 'play me for a fool', then complain they have been played for a fool.
The 'rules' above will help
Welcome and good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey folks!
I joined fabs about a week ago, and have been having masses of fun....
And now I'm thinking maybe too much....
I got my first mean message today, related to the fact that I had so many veris on my page already (6 in 7 days) and it really got me feeling kind of rubbish...
Is sleeping with a new person every night a real no-no? If so, why? And even for new users of the site? I thought that I could use fabs for this, but this message really made me think I'd broken some unspoken etiquette rule...
And what are some of the other "unwritten" rules about swinging that someone who is a complete n00b should know?
What do you wish you'd told your younger fab self?
Thanks in advance!
Hap
x hey look having fun is great maybe publicising it, not so ,why do you need to tell ,it obviously in this case didn't help you to have more fun ,people get jealous I am not a fan of the verification system its notches on your belt and really is there as a guide to tell if your prospective next meet is a safe prospect but even this is open to abuse via fake profiles ,so be careful ok
Is this because you have one in 5 months?
Anyway, report block and forget them OP, they've sought you out just to be arseholes, it's their issue, you use fab however you see fit "
I said I don't believe in veris I did have 5 but 3 have left now which left me with two I don't need them anyway to meet ,I don't have a problem getting a meet we are talking about the op getting negative feedback because she gave to much information away x  |
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More thanks, guys!
All you lot have given me real faith that the down to earth, "real" people of this site are an open-minded and lovely bunch.
Yes! Blocked! Moved on! Back to having masses of fun!
Freaking love fabs, and all of you!
Thank you all again for your awesome supportive words!
xxx |
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