FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Whats wrong with me?!

Whats wrong with me?!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

*Awaits the abuse from comments*

I know my profile is pretty basic and there are no public photos but due to the nature of my job I cannot publicly display them. Although I do attach photos to messages I send to numerous individuals/couples I am interested in and most do not reply or the odd one or two have the decency to respond with a gentle not my type but thanks response.

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By *ouple1234Couple over a year ago

BELFAST UK

put a few body pics up just and block the face out, but the way we look at it if people are on here and know you from work etc then there on here for the same reason as you and cant really say anything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stick a below neck pic or something. You can blur out bits you don't want people to see (and/or the background). Look at my profile pic.

Of course if you have some horrible birth defect you may be out of luck anonymizing the pic!

Otherwise profile looks ok to me.

Although we both may be a bit young for most women on here.

cheers.

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By *ouple1234Couple over a year ago

BELFAST UK

oh and forgot to add your 0ne of god knows how many other single males looking a meet with couples or other females etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ok thanks for your help guys I will get that done and hopefully things will start moving for me on here!

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By *ouple1234Couple over a year ago

BELFAST UK

all the best mate and good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well don't have too high expectations...

Funny thing is it seems all online sites (dating or otherwise) seem to have 10 men for every woman or worse... So my question is where are all the other women? As far as I am aware the UK is almost a 50/50 split on gender distribution?

All gone to the isle of Lesbos?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well don't have too high expectations...

All gone to the isle of Lesbos?

Lesbos....get me an Easy Jet Flight

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"*Awaits the abuse from comments*

Make your profile less basic. It's in your hands, you can do that. Make it interesting and witty and as has been said, take some pics for your profile and hide the bits that you don't want anyone to see (oh and tidy up the background first)

Be respectful and read profiles before you send a message. So many don't.

There are hundreds of single blokes around... you need to try and stand taller than them and with a basic profile and no pics, you're never going to do that.

Hope you have fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"*Awaits the abuse from comments*

Your profile states you want to be of use to people. Well, my garden furniture needs covering, the bathroom could do with a paint!!

As others have pointed out there are dozens of single men to every couple/single woman - you really do need to stand out.

You can't be vague or you'll be totally overlooked. How would couples/females know to contact you? You've ticked everything on offer and apparently you'll sleep with anyone.

Take a little time and be honest. If you really would play with a 99 year old - good for you, if not, change it. What do you really like to do sexualy, or try out - say it...none of us are clairvoyant! What do you bring to the party, why should they meet you? When writing to couples make sure they're looking for you - nothing annoys more than getting messages from someone in their twenties when you've got a lower age limit of 45 on your profile.

Your messages should be addressed to both parties of a couple. As I wrote on a post recently, you're not admiring Farmer Giles' prize heifer, but someone's wife.

Lots of people like eager young things, so stick in there and hopefully you'll be having loads of fun.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

With regard to pics, what i would suggest is only using non identifiable ones in public gallery (no tattoos faces etc) and only put non sexual face pics in private gallery.

If at all someone see's the private gallery that knows you, it's easily explainable by saying the pics were taken from Facebook etc.

Good luck

Steve

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just my own _iew ,.,,,,, Your inviting people to go through the effort of contacting you in order to dig out what it is you have to offer as a swinging partner rather than present it in an up-front manner on your profile,

I can only imagine this results in a lot of people skipping past your profile and moving onto someone willing to demonstrate their respect for other members by providing up-front and relevant information regarding their eligibility as a potential and suitable swinging partner, therefore saving them time and effort in establishing appropriate credentials…….

I do accept not everyone can be bothered to sell themselves via their profile and many go for a minimalist approach… I think its fair to say that course of action will work for some but not for others,

However its also worth reflecting not everyone wants to either engage in swapping lots of emails gauging compatibility…. Or alternately be inclined towards a pot luck approach of who they agree to meet without to much consideration whether they are suitably matched, or not as the case maybe…..

Reading your profile as it is,,,, I see nothing that would make people think…. WOW this guy looks interesting, I must learn more about him!!!

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By *londieddWoman over a year ago

fife

do you read peoples profile? i delete 75% of messages unread because they are not what i state im looking for on my profile, too many folk look at pics and cut and paste a message thats says want to meat? that really annoys me!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"do you read peoples profile? i delete 75% of messages unread because they are not what i state im looking for on my profile, too many folk look at pics and cut and paste a message thats says want to meat? that really annoys me!!

It would be good if you could make these preferences more explicit in the profile, so if you click the mail button it says "Sorry you are wrong gender/age/etc". It does it for somethings, but many women on here want to be more specific:

Fit 6'4" or taller hunk with a body of Adonis, penis at least 8" long, brown eyes, skin a nice teak colour, smooth all over, good with gardening, can iron a shirt likes to watch chick flicks and will spend 3.64 hours pleasuring me each night...

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Fit 6'4" or taller hunk with a body of Adonis, penis at least 8" long, brown eyes, skin a nice teak colour, smooth all over, good with gardening, can iron a shirt likes to watch chick flicks and will spend 3.64 hours pleasuring me each night...

pssst can you send me his username??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

pssst can you send me his username??

Yeah, but don't tell everyone, its ElLongo

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

pssst can you send me his username??

Yeah, but don't tell everyone, its ElLongo

Damn now youve told everyone Ill have to fight it out with the competition

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm very specific on mine: but doesn't stop the teenagers, married men, non white men, dominant men, men under 45 living outside London contacting me!!!

ALL what I'm NOT looking for...sigh.

Some days...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll also have to grow a few inches and read up on gardening! lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

pssst can you send me his username??

Yeah, but don't tell everyone, its ElLongo

Damn now youve told everyone Ill have to fight it out with the competition

He's not discrete...so I'm out, he's all yours!!!

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"I'll also have to grow a few inches and read up on gardening! lol.

Ok well when you have, give us a shout...

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"He's not discrete...so I'm out, he's all yours!!!

In a very 'Dragons Den' stylie....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"*Awaits the abuse from comments*

Well.

Profile is a bit rubbish, you have no photos and you are verified by cam.

All in all, based on a first look (which is all you'll ever get), you present nothing new nor offer anything worthwhile that makes you stand out from the other 85759476398956903658685895 single males.

Well, you did ask.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh, sorry, you are also quite young.

It's a generalization but most around here are older and many (again, general) don't always like the ones that are the same age as their kids :P

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it really is difficult for single guys to get a meet on any swinging site let alone this one.

There is nothing wrong with you... you just need to sell yourself a little more with your profile on what you will bring into the bedroom.. what are you quite skillfull at? Are you shy/confident/humorous? Are you respectful/descreet/naughty?

Being a single male you should have an honest profile that will tell us (couples/single fems) who you are once we have received initial interest from you. Yes, you read it right, sorry! 99% of the time you will have to do the ground work :O ....couples and fems don't trawl through the single males section to find a suitable playmate... we do this in our inbox!!!!

It is in your hands to make your experience on here a success. You will stand a much bigger chance of fun if you READ PROFILES, MAKE SURE YOU MATCH REQUIREMENTS, SEND A PERSONAL MESSAGE, DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MESSAGES (WE HATE THAT!!) AND AVOID BECOMING PUSHY/DESPERATE IF YOU GET INTEREST BACK!!!

As for pictures... opt for a torso pic (I love seeing them!!!).

Good luck, you've only been on here a short while so it's early days!!

Miss B xx

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

welcome and good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hate to say it but the nature of your job and not having a face picture is irrelevent, i work for a housing association, last thing i want is for tenants to find me on here, would open me to all kinds of abuse so i set mine as private

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd take off that paragraph about why you've not got photos etc it just come across as being rather negative. Like others have said, use the space to talk more about what interests you and turns you on and the kind of people you'd like to meet.

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By *he Happy ManMan over a year ago

Merseyside

I only ever contact profiles where I fit their criteria and they fit mine. I never copy and paste messages. It is still hard for me as a single guy. Thing is not to take it to heart and move on. I can't understand the people who send abusive emails after getting a no or not getting a reply.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

Say more in your profile would be my advice,the best single male profile I ever read had no pictures on it, but gave such a sense of the person that that really didn't put me off.

And you can be imaginative with pics, I love my avatar cos its me,but there is no face to be seen

OH and hi DG tis kaz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"put a few body pics up just and block the face out, but the way we look at it if people are on here and know you from work etc then there on here for the same reason as you and cant really say anything

Perhaps the only body pics he has show his Archbishops garments, Police Chiefs uniform or Judges robes.

Bloody Hell, it seems every silhouette on here has a high profile position.

We never realised we were swinging in such exalted company!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Perhaps the only body pics he has show his Archbishops garments, Police Chiefs uniform or Judges robes.

Bloody Hell, it seems every silhouette on here has a high profile position.

We never realised we were swinging in such exalted company!

XXXX"

*Giggles in agreement*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To the OP.

Fella, the vast majority of us on here either have to be discreet or prefer to be that way, wether it is for the sake of our job, family or whatever, but there is more than one way to show a photo without comprimising your identity in any way shape or form, that is unless your workmates would recognnise a close up shot of your arse or your torso, in which case I don't see your need to be discreet in the first place.

Sorry, but to us, a profile with no photo and the well trodden excuse,'it's because of my job' doesn't wash. Quite often loosly translated it means 'I'm scared shitless in case my wife finds out'

Ok in your case that might not be the true, but you asked the question and we've given you an answer

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By *ollie_JCouple over a year ago

London

Op you can always pixelate your face

At least then can show our body shape, and clothing to prove you dot look like reggie perin

Heres hoping my attempt worked

Mrs new did her public ones with a self timer

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

fact.

women on here complain in chat and forums about guys being nasty or abusive.

they like it.

if your a nice guy you'll be walked all over while the wanker on the site is shagging everything.

start talking to a few females and you'll soon hear them complaining about how a guy they met was like this or like that.

they love trouble.

good guys finish last.fact.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its so true it's unfunny.

Mate had a go at his gf no reason other than he was d*unk. She's even more clingy to him than before!

Just one example of many

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"fact.

women on here complain in chat and forums about guys being nasty or abusive.

they like it.

if your a nice guy you'll be walked all over while the wanker on the site is shagging everything.

start talking to a few females and you'll soon hear them complaining about how a guy they met was like this or like that.

they love trouble.

good guys finish last.fact."

i dont like it ..i like my men to have manners

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its so true it's unfunny.

Mate had a go at his gf no reason other than he was d*unk. She's even more clingy to him than before!

Just one example of many

well well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"fact.

women on here complain in chat and forums about guys being nasty or abusive.

they like it.

if your a nice guy you'll be walked all over while the wanker on the site is shagging everything.

start talking to a few females and you'll soon hear them complaining about how a guy they met was like this or like that.

they love trouble.

good guys finish last.fact."

Fact.

Each of my past partners who has treated me poorly has been sent packing.

Don't generalise.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are some very bitter men on here. Feel sorry for the poor cows who don't read the forums and meet them!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"There are some very bitter men on here. Feel sorry for the poor cows who don't read the forums and meet them!!!

Oh I need a bloody cloth to wipe the screen now!

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I so want to answer this thread.. or any other one like it..

'cause you is ugly... uglyyyyyyyy.'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"fact.

women on here complain in chat and forums about guys being nasty or abusive.

they like it.

if your a nice guy you'll be walked all over while the wanker on the site is shagging everything.

start talking to a few females and you'll soon hear them complaining about how a guy they met was like this or like that.

they love trouble.

good guys finish last.fact.

Fact.

Each of my past partners who has treated me poorly has been sent packing.

Don't generalise..... "

And here too, though took me a long time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"I so want to answer this thread.. or any other one like it..

'cause you is ugly... uglyyyyyyyy.'

The Color Purple had a similar quote,what a fantastic film

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"I so want to answer this thread.. or any other one like it..

'cause you is ugly... uglyyyyyyyy.'

The Color Purple had a similar quote,what a fantastic film

it is fantastic... lol the best line in the film.

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By *ensual temptressWoman over a year ago

Southampton

yes very dangerous making blanket statments . yes some women may tolerate being treated poorly ..but theres guys who do too !! if they choose to put up with such treatment, then its sad they dont have any self worth to think they are better than that .certainly doesnt make it acceptable in any way . theres also those women and men who have zero tolerence for that crap and send these chancers packing with some choice words !

saying all women complain about guys being abusive but they love it sits very uneasy with me ! in my opinion there is NO EXCUSE for it ! you treat people with the same respect you would exspect . any guy whod treated me poorly or was abusive get told in no uncertainly terms to get to feck ! i wouldnt tolerate that treatment from my husband for one second so why the hell would i from anyone else !! it worries me that ANYONE would think that approach is sucessfull on here . its obviously not when you read the posts that talk about the abusive mails (not only from single guys !!) and that the person/cpl has been blocked and deleted. so just shows your therory is fact !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why cower to others?

Be Yourself, post on your profile what your comfortable with.

Your profile dictates you, your expectations, not what others require.

Good luck.....

"*Awaits the abuse from comments*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find it scary that there are men on here who not only think it's ok to be abusive to women but also think we like or want it. Where have they got this idea from? Ok, there are probably some women who enjoy being treated badly but I don't think I've ever met any of them. The vast majority of women much prefer to be treated with respect and as an equal. If anyone's abusive to me they'll have Mr R to answer to...

Mrs R

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By *ensual temptressWoman over a year ago

Southampton

spotted type o in my post ... ment to read just shows the theroy ISNT fact .

as for profile .... look at from the other persons prospective .is there something that would spark your interest ? do you stand out from all the thousand of other single guys on here ? your profile is an introduction and chance to get personality across so look at it as a shop window ...whats tempting people to want to contact you or get to know you better ?last thing you want is just the generic type profile .

one last thought .you say you send numerous messages ...if you copy and paste a message to people its very obvious .why would a person/cpl waste time contacting you if you havent given any time making a personalised contact to them .? read their profile and comment on something in it to show you have bothered to read what they want . .end of the day though theres no garentees so just have patience and good luck !

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"fact.

women on here complain in chat and forums about guys being nasty or abusive.

they like it.

if your a nice guy you'll be walked all over while the wanker on the site is shagging everything.

start talking to a few females and you'll soon hear them complaining about how a guy they met was like this or like that.

they love trouble.

good guys finish last.fact."

Total and utter bollocks, nice guys finish last is the worst sort of entitlement shite.Basically, a whinge about why people should shag them.

The so called nice guy meme is basically,"hey i remembered your name,so fuck me now"

ENTITILMENT!

Treat women as human beings with the right to choose when ,who and why they fuck.

And kaz breathes and puts the pitchfork down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And kaz breathes and puts the pitchfork down."

Made me giggle.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally pay no attention to profiles. They're a short paragraph of crap, as others have stated -- an advertisement. I've no time for adverts, I always fast forward them (thank god for sky plus)! I chat to folk then if I like their chat, I look at their profile.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I personally pay no attention to profiles. They're a short paragraph of crap, as others have stated -- an advertisement. I've no time for adverts, I always fast forward them (thank god for sky plus)! I chat to folk then if I like their chat, I look at their profile.

Chat is aload of crap they tell u what u want to hear to get them interested, profiles are not much better to be honest it is a case of trial and error from our experience u have to live and learn the only way - trial and error!!! We have had a few error's and alot of pluses so does work for us!!!

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

ah a breath of fresh air...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"
And your profile is fab xxx so alot could learn from yours xx love it xx

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