FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Too Pushy?
Too Pushy?
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By *D40 OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Is it too pushy when you just start speaking to people to just cut to the point & ask if they want to meet for a drink in a pub to see how you get on?
I (mrs _d40) am not one for bandying messages back & forth for weeks/months before arraging a meet & talking about everything you've already spoken about for the last few months.
Opinions would be gratefully received.
Mrs _d40 x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've started to do this, I generally ask if someone wants to go for a drink within a couple of days if we seem to get on well through messaging.
Is that pushy? I don't know. But I'd rather not send messages for weeks on end. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too pushy when you just start speaking to people to just cut to the point & ask if they want to meet for a drink in a pub to see how you get on?
I (mrs _d40) am not one for bandying messages back & forth for weeks/months before arraging a meet & talking about everything you've already spoken about for the last few months.
Opinions would be gratefully received.
Mrs _d40 x"
I personally prefer to meet face to face its real ,texting is BS  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see pushy more as if you've said no they continue to ry to talk you into it. So asking early on isn't pushy but if they said not yet and you started making out they were wrong for saying no then that's pushy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I temnd to not stick with too much continued chatting..maybe that makes people feel a bit less special...shame that..
"what you doing next week? lets meet.".
Simple."
maybe chat at points through the week if needed, and obviously just before the meet.
in that meantime...start arranging other meets.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too pushy when you just start speaking to people to just cut to the point & ask if they want to meet for a drink in a pub to see how you get on?
I (mrs _d40) am not one for bandying messages back & forth for weeks/months before arraging a meet & talking about everything you've already spoken about for the last few months.
Opinions would be gratefully received.
Mrs _d40 x"
Like you, we're not ones for endless messaging. When we like someone, we ask if they'd like to meet for a coffee sometime. It's only a coffee, so not pushy at all, we'd say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely not pushy!
We always chat for a while first as we don't get much free time so we don't do socials! So we like to make sure there's a chemistry there first x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it too pushy when you just start speaking to people to just cut to the point & ask if they want to meet for a drink in a pub to see how you get on?
I (mrs _d40) am not one for bandying messages back & forth for weeks/months before arraging a meet & talking about everything you've already spoken about for the last few months.
Opinions would be gratefully received.
Mrs _d40 x"
No not at all, if you know what you want you should go for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A maximum of 2 or 3 messages then arrange the meet .
So much more likely to be a timewaster if you play email ping pong for weeks ...
 "
I spend a while chatting sometimes and I'm definitely not a time waster. I don't get much free time so finding a time when both parties are free can be difficult and can take time |
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I often ask as I simply cannot tell if I will click with someone until I've met them for real. Everything else is just words on a screen. Need to know how someone smells! ( pheromones...it's science, innit?)!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I concur. At the end of the day, the worst someone can say is no. Not to be taken personally probably because I may not be their type, occupied and/or that we don't click.
Plenty of fish in the seas as they say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Messaging for a couple of days is ok by me. I used to hang back from meeting after a couple of days, preferred to wait a bit longer but life is too short and you can miss out on all the fun |
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I think we all do it differently. I'm a chatter, I'm choosy/fussy/picky (delete as appropriate) and I do what works for me. There are other people who do the same and if they don't, some are happy to wait till I'm ready to meet. Those who aren't happy with that move on and find those they are compatible with.
I don't think it's pushy to meet people in the way it suits you. There are lots of people who do that too.
There are exceptions, occasionally I'll go to a club and not have any conversation. |
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We think it's the only way to sort out the genuine people who actually want to meet. We ask to meet for a drink in 2nd message generally, can only tell if chemistry by a meeting. Always do a no pressure social, totally agree that time is precious and we both work full time and shifts so happy to make future plans too. Saying that totally struggling to get a drinks date with anyone at the moment lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, I don't think it's pushy at all but it can take a while to arrange with so much going on sometimes and everyone is different so I don't mind chatting in between. I much prefer a social meeting first anyway, it seems a much more natural and enjoyable way to get to know people, even if that's as far as it goes. Some people you want to meet socially for a drink and a good laugh, I don't believe you have to take it further with everyone you meet to have a good time. If it happens it happens, if not, enjoy it for what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depend a if a bloke asked you it would you find it pushy?
But also depending on distance and time a public social in a pub can be way too much hassle versus getting to know each other by chatting then meeting privately.
Also swinging conversation can be awkward in a pub especially if it's local |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to chat on here a little before arranging to meet. I rarely meet for a drink to see if I like someone. "
same here i prefer to chat a little first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it is pushy to keep on asking and sending messages if you are not getting the response you want.
I started blocking people after I had said no, then thought that was a bit harsh but recent experience leaves me in favour of blocking again.
If you like the look of someone why not ask to meet? Just be content with their response and dont take offence if they decline. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've started to do this, I generally ask if someone wants to go for a drink within a couple of days if we seem to get on well through messaging.
Is that pushy? I don't know. But I'd rather not send messages for weeks on end."
I dont think its pushy i think its sensible to see if there is a connection there |
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Mmm we have had to get a bit more hard line as at least 4 out of 5 couples on here don't have the woman on board. Weeding those out might cost you half of the real ones... So you might end up only getting 1 in 10 people so we keep stuff very brief till we know that there's all the people in that we want. |
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By *D40 OP Couple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
"Depend a if a bloke asked you it would you find it pushy?
But also depending on distance and time a public social in a pub can be way too much hassle versus getting to know each other by chatting then meeting privately.
Also swinging conversation can be awkward in a pub especially if it's local"
I wouldn't find it pushy if a couple asked to meet early on, our profile clearly states we meet couples.
Also swinging likes/dislikes can be discussed in a pub if you choose the right pub and the right table & don't have a gob like the mersey tunnel
Mrs _d40 |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I prefer to chat for a while and get to know someone.
Keeping asking "can we meet" within a few messages, and then repeating every further 2-3 messages is pushy.
I'm upfront that I do not meet quickly, and people can then choose if I am worth the investment of time - and I am also quick to let them know if the conversation has any spark for me.
My free time is exceptionally limited, so if folk don't want to wait, then that is their call, but I will not be rushed into a meet - social or otherwise. |
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"Is it too pushy when you just start speaking to people to just cut to the point & ask if they want to meet for a drink in a pub to see how you get on?
I (mrs _d40) am not one for bandying messages back & forth for weeks/months before arraging a meet & talking about everything you've already spoken about for the last few months.
Opinions would be gratefully received.
Mrs _d40 x"
Sounds perfectly fine to us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer to chat for a while and get to know someone.
Keeping asking "can we meet" within a few messages, and then repeating every further 2-3 messages is pushy.
I'm upfront that I do not meet quickly, and people can then choose if I am worth the investment of time - and I am also quick to let them know if the conversation has any spark for me.
My free time is exceptionally limited, so if folk don't want to wait, then that is their call, but I will not be rushed into a meet - social or otherwise."
Ditto this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This isn't pushy, I've had this problem before when I'm not sure how direct to be but surely it better to get to the point quickly.
Well ...that's my opinion anyway  |
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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago
in the eye of the storm |
"Is it too pushy when you just start speaking to people to just cut to the point & ask if they want to meet for a drink in a pub to see how you get on?
I (mrs _d40) am not one for bandying messages back & forth for weeks/months before arraging a meet & talking about everything you've already spoken about for the last few months.
Opinions would be gratefully received.
Mrs _d40 x"
I'm always going to be messaging a lot because of sexual play I'm after 
There's no way I can set the agenda on when to meet for the same reason. who I'm chatting to must decide that or when i feel their comfortable I will suggest a phone chat if that goes well then a social and so on .but on the whole its down to who I'm chatting with to set a pace their comfortable with not me.
I'm a confident man who'd meet someone for a social after one message if they ask and I like their profile but I'm a man this sex meet world is fairly safe for me its fairly safe for couples to.
but its not the same for a woman playing alone which is what I'm ideally looking for so I go at what ever pace she's comfortable at .
As for couples playing with single men or other couples the rules are different why waste a hundred messages when one face to face social can tell you more than a 1000 messages ever can .but the rule for a couple looking to play with a single woman are different again you have to let her set the pace in my opinion .
Safety first for single women so go at their pace is how I view it . |
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