FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > coming out.
coming out.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Over the last few months. I've seriously been thinking about coming out. As both bi and as Claire. Don't want to hide this side of me away any more. It's who I enjoy been and I'm so much happier when I am Claire. I'm nit intersex in having GRS or any other surgery. Personally I feel as I am gender fluid.
Yesterday I took the first step and told my best friend. He had no idea at all. He was fantastic about it all. Little confused. Which I'm not surprised.
Would love to hear from anyone else who has been in this position aswell. Now I know some people are going to be supportive and others not. Some might even think far worse of me. These are things I know I will have to deal with.
Claire
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi Claire. I'm on a similar path to you and posted a thread last week about when TVs turn TS.
I too consider myself gender fluid and have gradually been coming out to people. I tell those I come out to that I'm bi. Some I also tell I'm a dresser.
I am planning on telling my kids next because I think they have already worked it out. The tattoos, shaving and belly piercing are all common knowledge. It's the worst kept secret around the area too, I think.
Good luck with it. Every time you tell someone it gets easier and feels amazing. The chance to just be yourself at last is euphoric.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good luck with it!
I know that it was struggle for me to come out as lesbian years ago - and then an even bigger struggle (with myself as much as with anyone else!) to admit that I'm actually Bi - but it does change your life and I'm so glad that I did.
I never make an issue of it, but I never hide it any more, and always correct people who assume that I'm straight, or that I have a husband...
Be yourself - it's a struggle, but you'll eventually be stronger and better for it!
xxx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi Claire. I'm on a similar path to you and posted a thread last week about when TVs turn TS.
I too consider myself gender fluid and have gradually been coming out to people. I tell those I come out to that I'm bi. Some I also tell I'm a dresser.
I am planning on telling my kids next because I think they have already worked it out. The tattoos, shaving and belly piercing are all common knowledge. It's the worst kept secret around the area too, I think.
Good luck with it. Every time you tell someone it gets easier and feels amazing. The chance to just be yourself at last is euphoric.
"
Yes? I did post a couple of replies to that thread. It also came at a time when I was thinking the same. Telling my best friend felt so good. Just thinking about how others will react. My family will support me, I know this. People have also noticed a few tings with me too. Shaved legs, under arms etc. That's why I've had enough of hiding this away. I'm not getting any younger, I want to be out there enjoying myself.
Claire
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Claire. I'm on a similar path to you and posted a thread last week about when TVs turn TS.
I too consider myself gender fluid and have gradually been coming out to people. I tell those I come out to that I'm bi. Some I also tell I'm a dresser.
I am planning on telling my kids next because I think they have already worked it out. The tattoos, shaving and belly piercing are all common knowledge. It's the worst kept secret around the area too, I think.
Good luck with it. Every time you tell someone it gets easier and feels amazing. The chance to just be yourself at last is euphoric.
Yes? I did post a couple of replies to that thread. It also came at a time when I was thinking the same. Telling my best friend felt so good. Just thinking about how others will react. My family will support me, I know this. People have also noticed a few tings with me too. Shaved legs, under arms etc. That's why I've had enough of hiding this away. I'm not getting any younger, I want to be out there enjoying myself.
Claire
XX "
Talking is always a help. Be it here in a forum or out in the world.
I hoped that me opening up on a thread would help me and also help others, like you, that they're not alone.
We all pick our own path. I've met lots of transitioning people and some who have already transitioned. Many are kind and helpful. A few don't really listen and try to guide you (push you) along the path they see not yours.
Take it at your own pace and try not to feel you 'have' to label yourself or take a route you're not sure you want.
Transguy suggested I might be gender fluid. He's one of those who listens and just gently suggests. I didn't even know I could be bi until a few years ago. I thought I had to be gay or straight! Talking to understanding people opens your eyes, I feel.
Do what feels right and live your life your way xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm going to talk to my ex GF. She knew I was bi and all about Claire from the start. She's also openly bi and we are still very close. Also a friend of ours who is transitioning at the moment.
Claire
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to talk to my ex GF. She knew I was bi and all about Claire from the start. She's also openly bi and we are still very close. Also a friend of ours who is transitioning at the moment.
Claire
XX "
If they are offended etc , they are not worth knowing . I do know a few trannies that told me , that if they knew what they know now, they would have done it years ago . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So happy for both of you. Such a courageous act to do. It took me 31 years to tell my parents I'm bi and a sex addict my parents being prudes. It went Down like a lead balloon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i only have come out to two of my best friends. and that was a head wrecker. to my family and the general public, i don't want to. my own business. and the people i work with? never....
being bi, sometimes even on a site like this has a terrible stigma attached. wish i had the courage to say f### off.
to those who have the courage to be fully out, i salute you. i really wish ye the best of luck rachael and claire.
maybe i am thought of as a coward. i dunno. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you everyone for your kind words. They really do mean a lot. Just spent the last hour talking to me ex GF. She was fantastic, although I knew she would be. It was just telling her. She did make an interesting comment. When I mentioned about been gender fluid. Her exact words were "If I'm on the phone to you, I don't need to see you. To know you are Claire. You talk a lot softer. Your persona is also different. She really is amazing, and I'm so lucky to still have her as a close friend.
Claire
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone for your kind words. They really do mean a lot. Just spent the last hour talking to me ex GF. She was fantastic, although I knew she would be. It was just telling her. She did make an interesting comment. When I mentioned about been gender fluid. Her exact words were "If I'm on the phone to you, I don't need to see you. To know you are Claire. You talk a lot softer. Your persona is also different. She really is amazing, and I'm so lucky to still have her as a close friend.
Claire
XX"
Oh Claire, that's lovely to read. I'm so pleased for you. Your ex sounds a terrific person |
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I hope it goes really well for you. Telling people that you are not what they think you are is tough.
I know someone who came out to his family about wanting to be TG and they were so awful he's still not done it. By family I mean parents & siblings.
His wife is supporting him 100% though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Praying it goes well. Trying to pluck up the courage to drive down to see my youngest daughter this evening. I miss her and want to see her. I also want this conversation.
I'm now dreaming coming out dreams every night. |
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"Thank you everyone for your kind words. They really do mean a lot. Just spent the last hour talking to me ex GF. She was fantastic, although I knew she would be. It was just telling her. She did make an interesting comment. When I mentioned about been gender fluid. Her exact words were "If I'm on the phone to you, I don't need to see you. To know you are Claire. You talk a lot softer. Your persona is also different. She really is amazing, and I'm so lucky to still have her as a close friend.
Claire
XX"
Well done Claire i also have a close friend whos also like me bi and a great woman as she gets me for who i am. Im still finding it hard coming out as bi to my family tbh but well done to you for doing so. Shes also got a older mind for a younger woman shes only 24 but i cant imagine not having her as a friend now xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had the privilege of a good friend 'coming out' to me about 10 yrs ago, aged 40+ (although 'his' wife had always known) My reaction gave her the courage to tell others and now post surgery is a happy confident and beautiful friend. No more secrets, no more unhappiness, depression. She is able to be the person she always wanted to. She is fully supported by her wife, daughter and extended family. Life is too short not to be happy. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the way you refered to it as a privilege. Many people I've told have considered it that too they appreciate how hard it is to admit and are pleased I chose to tell and trusted them. |
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"I like the way you refered to it as a privilege. Many people I've told have considered it that too they appreciate how hard it is to admit and are pleased I chose to tell and trusted them. "
It was a privilege for me when a school friend came out to me a few years ago i saw him transition from a nervous boy with an abusive dad to a wonderful looking post op woman who now lives in france with her husband and two adopted daughters xxx A true cinderella story really xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Over the last few months. I've seriously been thinking about coming out. As both bi and as Claire. Don't want to hide this side of me away any more. It's who I enjoy been and I'm so much happier when I am Claire. I'm nit intersex in having GRS or any other surgery. Personally I feel as I am gender fluid.
Yesterday I took the first step and told my best friend. He had no idea at all. He was fantastic about it all. Little confused. Which I'm not surprised.
Would love to hear from anyone else who has been in this position aswell. Now I know some people are going to be supportive and others not. Some might even think far worse of me. These are things I know I will have to deal with.
Claire
XX "
Inbox me hun xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like the way you refered to it as a privilege. Many people I've told have considered it that too they appreciate how hard it is to admit and are pleased I chose to tell and trusted them.
It was a privilege for me when a school friend came out to me a few years ago i saw him transition from a nervous boy with an abusive dad to a wonderful looking post op woman who now lives in france with her husband and two adopted daughters xxx A true cinderella story really xxx"
It was a privilege, she is my children's godmother and my very good friend xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hope it all works out for you OP and anyone else who is coming out.
You are who you are and as long as you are true to yourself that's all that matters.
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