FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Shaving or Creams? Hair Today Gone Tomorrow :-)
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"Anyone who hasn't seen them should read the reviews of veet for men on amazon. .... " Oh I couldn't agree more, | |||
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"New disposable razor, plenty of soap or shave gel... lots of pulling n stretching to get around the awkward bits... moisturise after... same as face really " Conditioner is very good for shaving | |||
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"R's son's girlfriend has had all her pubic hair lasered off, apparently it never grows back. But she's American and had it done in the USA. No idea of the cost. " lol, dare I ask how you came to find this out? | |||
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"Anyone who hasn't seen them should read the reviews of veet for men on amazon. .... " Absolutely peed myself reading some of those reviews. They do say though to give an honest review of the product. X | |||
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"I do mine every night in the bath.....then there is no way they can grow through...a bit like your you men shaving in the morning.... " Same here every evening in the shower shave face then the cock and balls l just use a mac3 and ordanary soap get a good lather and confidence | |||
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"Not entirely all my own work but first of all, let’s make sure this is something you really want to do. Shaving your balls should never be a whimsical, spur of the moment decision — it requires prudence and forethought. I mean, do you even have a good reason for shaving your balls? What, are you entering them in a beauty contest? Will they be participating in some kind of “Balls Pageant,” where they will be judged by a panel of former celebrities on qualities like texture, heft, and elasticity, as well as their performance in the prestigious Evening Wear competition? I severely doubt it. Most likely, you just think there’s a 2% chance you will be getting laid soon. And is that really worth shaving what is essentially just a delicate, skin-covered water balloon containing the entirety of your manhood? OK you’re right, it’s worth it. After all, the only thing more aesthetically pleasing than a formless, wrinkled sack of flesh is a hairless, formless, wrinkled sack of flesh. There’s no doubt the fortunate lady (or fellow) in question will be thanking her (or his) lucky stars over the glory that is your balls. But you should be forewarned that the process will be nerve-racking for both you and your testicles. And while I can’t claim to be some kind of Ball-Shaving Wizard — at least not until those new business cards arrive — I can help you weigh some of your potential options at the outset of this endeavour. For starters, you need to decide exactly how you want to go about cropping your cones. Perhaps you were thinking something bold or exotic, like some sort of hair removal cream? Eh, sounds pretty goopy. Laser hair removal? Too expensive; also, involves a laser pointed at your reproductive organs. Professional waxing? No; also, no. Unfortunately, it’s time to face the grim reality that you will be using a razor on your very own Mario Van Peebles. Therefore, the real question is, electric or disposable? Many people shear their scrotum with an electric razor. While this is probably the safest and/or most efficient method, you can count me out. Personally, I don’t like anything with a motor to come in direct contact with my genitals (unless of course it is lubricated in moist pussy juice). Nay, my advice is to use ye ole’ disposable razor (although, preferably not the same one you use on your face). However, depending on what you’re working with down there, you may need to employ scissors before shaving. Frankly, this is a rather horrific prospect for me, as I suffer from a chronic aversion towards scissors. So, You Still Want To Shave Your Balls? Well, as the old saying goes, “Now it’s time to remove the pubic hair from your scrotum.” Like any kind of shaving, the best time to undergo the procedure is after a nice, warm shower; your follicles will be loose and relaxed, or something. Begin by semi-crouching, then simultaneously splay your feet and ankles outward while bringing your knees together and forming two 75 degrees angles with your elbows. Now, grab your scrotum, unravel it 4 to 5 inches, and start shaving in long, erratic strokes — think of your razor as a rake and your pubes as leaves. The recommended pace is: vigorous. At some point, remember to look in the mirror. Observe the sopping wet manchild, his nut sack outstretched, penis flopping limply against pallid thigh, and send any of your remaining self-respect in a self-addressed envelope straight to hell. Then rinse off. Voila! Your previously hirsute man-pouch is now a raw and pinkish expanse of razed skin. How arousing! See how it resembles a plucked turkey ready to be massacred and consumed? The way it calls to mind clammy meat wrapped in cellophane and labeled with cooking instructions from Bernard Matthews? Mmm mmm. Your transformation into a Grade A hunk is now complete. Back off ladies, there’s not enough saggy, goose-bumped flesh for everyone! On second thought, maybe there is, it’s pretty warm in here…" Fucking hilarious dude! Do you have a column? no not that kind. Seriously, you should get paid for this lol | |||
"OP it can be easier for a woman to she you as she can see properly down there " God I wish someone would actually want to do this for me lol Are you offering? | |||
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"Not entirely all my own work but first of all, let’s make sure this is something you really want to do... ...Unfortunately, it’s time to face the grim reality that you will be using a razor on your very own Mario Van Peebles. Therefore, the real question is, electric or disposable?... ...Begin by semi-crouching, then simultaneously splay your feet and ankles outward while bringing your knees together and forming two 75 degrees angles with your elbows. Now, grab your scrotum, unravel it 4 to 5 inches, and start shaving in long, erratic strokes — think of your razor as a rake and your pubes as leaves. The recommended pace is: vigorous. At some point, remember to look in the mirror. Observe the sopping wet manchild, his nut sack outstretched, penis flopping limply against pallid thigh, and send any of your remaining self-respect in a self-addressed envelope straight to hell. Then rinse off. Voila! Your previously hirsute man-pouch is now a raw and pinkish expanse of razed skin. How arousing! See how it resembles a plucked turkey ready to be massacred and consumed? The way it calls to mind clammy meat wrapped in cellophane and labeled with cooking instructions from Bernard Matthews? Mmm mmm. Your transformation into a Grade A hunk is now complete. Back off ladies, there’s not enough saggy, goose-bumped flesh for everyone! On second thought, maybe there is, it’s pretty warm in here… Fucking hilarious dude! Do you have a column? no not that kind. Seriously, you should get paid for this lol" Totally agree... You should be in publishing darling! | |||
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"Anyone who hasn't seen them should read the reviews of veet for men on amazon. .... " Very funny xx | |||
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"Yeah, I know, I posted this ages ago, but for the newcomers wanting to get smooth, I thought it could do with repeating! After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect! " Truly the funniest tale I've heard in years! Thanks for sharing! | |||
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"I use Louis Marcell intimate bikini cream." I just tried a Google search for this. It only turned up generic bikini and face cream. However, Google helpfully included "Results for similar searches" which included "Alternator - Bosch" and better yet "Brazilian Nut Powder". WTF Google? | |||