FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > A little advice if I may.

A little advice if I may.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hi all,

I have been on this website for a couple of years now after the breakdown of a nearly 30 year marriage. I found it difficult when I first joined as I literally hadn't had sex for 6 years. After slowly find my feet I have meet some fantastic people and experienced things I didn't even know existed if I am honest.

Now for the advice. So many guys I have met have paid me compliments on my body and looks, which is always nice.

One thing I have literally never done in my life is go out, have a few drinks and literally pull a guy. I am quite embarrassed to admit this but I knew the guy I married from a young age.

Question is people, can a woman of my age really go out these days when Newcastle is so full of girls in their 20's and late teens and expect to find a guy for a night.

Its something id really like to do, but feel as though my ability to do it disappeared years ago.

Apologies for the strangeness of this post, but here is the only place I could think of to ask.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course you can, I'm 51, and love a vanilla night out on the pull.....its interesting when you are a swinger!!!!!!!

and no one knows!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that. "

But you're not competing with them

We are in a whole different game from the 20 something girls! Trust me, you won't even have to try. Just go out and have a couple of drinks and see where the night takes you.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that. "

You don't need to compete and they probably wouldn't be interested in the same guys as you anyway. Get your girlie friends together, get yourself somewhere with a more discerning clientele and go for it!!!

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that. "

Yes you can. I'd rather have a chat with someone similar aged to me or more than some 20 year old.

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By *andsonjohnMan over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that. "

I think your in for a very pleasant surprise if you ever pluck up the courage to do ....young guys older woman its a lot of younger guys fantasies it was mine at one time .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What are you competing for? Just be yourself, make yourself catch someone's eye without being too obvious and ask them if they'd like to buy you a drink.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that. "

I think you should stick with swinging events . To save yourself time and money. If you go to a vanilla pub maybe 1 or 2 guys will hit on you.

Then you will probably leave early.If you go to a club or event. Every man will hit on you and you can pick from the lot. Go where you're the hunted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go girl

of course you can

have fun and go for it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're a swinger,cant you all play together?

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By *ortheast696Man over a year ago

Newcastle Upon Tyne

I think from what you have written you sound like very much want to do it. So, just go do it say.

As you are no longer married, id imagine your lady friends will be happy for you to chat up guys when you are out with them. They wouldn't be good friend if they didn't.

Put on something sexy, go out and try your luck. Nothing to lose what so ever. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for the replies. I am going to have a think tonight and maybe message a friend to see if she is free this weekend.

Hopefully I can pluck up the courage to make it happen.

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By *ornysxcoupleCouple over a year ago

Maldon

I'd say the friend needs the same frame of mind to pull, is love to go "on the pull" but all of the girls I'd go out with don't know our lifestyle an this wouldn't approve and likely change their opinion of me. Alas this is from a couples point of view, but still, it's nice to go out an k ow you still got it

Elle x

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By *eforfuncplCouple over a year ago

Morecambe

You go girl !!

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By *ighting17thMan over a year ago

Bodmin

OP you are absolutely fine. I would love an opportunity to have a thing with a lady of your age, and there's many guys who would.

Please don't put yourself down or be negative- that's a sure way to be an anchor instead of a bullet!

Stand tall and be confident- you'll be absolutely fine.

I know for a fact I would jump at the chance to ( at least ) chat and have a drink with you if I weren't so far away, lthough you'd probably run a mile!

( there's no ladies here even remotely interested in me )

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Question OP

What would happen if you just went out and pulled, how would you feel?

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By *rmrsgyCouple over a year ago

cleethorpes

How about post on here where and when you'll be there and what your after ,surely a few guys will pop along to try pull you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go for it clubbing or try something different salsa nights locally or match nights are good x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My advice...don't wait for them to pull you - you go and get them! Men around here are shit scared of women unless they've had a few drinks by which time they're good for nothing. Get your flirting lashes out and have yourself a good laugh. You will be more than pleasantly surprised!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

go for it , im sure you would not have a problem there looking for a different sort of person . enjoy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that. "

Then do not, the press and media want you to belive that. I see women and men much older than me of all shapes and sizes that make me admire them, but I do not want to be them. Love who you are for that is the only person you can be. Be the best YOU that you can be, not someone elses fantasy. I had body image issues for most of my life, now I have two lifes and personalities and I am happy with them both.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel old in a club x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I feel old in a club x"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah, men are easy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trust me, you won't feel too out of place. Always plenty of older women out in Newcastle on a Saturday night. And maybe you'll get lucky and run into me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all,

Now for the advice. So many guys I have met have paid me compliments on my body and looks, which is always nice.

One thing I have literally never done in my life is go out, have a few drinks and literally pull a guy. I am quite embarrassed to admit this but I knew the guy I married from a young age.

Question is people, can a woman of my age really go out these days when Newcastle is so full of girls in their 20's and late teens and expect to find a guy for a night.

Its something id really like to do, but feel as though my ability to do it disappeared years ago.

Apologies for the strangeness of this post, but here is the only place I could think of to ask. "

Of course you can go out in Newcastle at your age I am older than you and I go out if I saw you in a bar would definitely buy you a drink and attempt to chat you up!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I know how you feel. I am in a similar situation. Fab is less threatening than going out to pubs or clubs. Ironicallt I find swinging clubs easier to go to as sex is already on the agenda and most men appreciate that 'No thanks'means just that. I feel safer than I would out in the 'vanilla' world.

If you have friends who will take care of you on a night out, why not go for it but maybe not all on your own.

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By *urvymamaWoman over a year ago

Doncaster

For the amount of younger men that desire the older woman is say you'd stand more of a chance at pulling than the 20 somethings do

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes we can....I did it and found Chris....my fwb who introduced me to this site!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes you can, I would just hasten to add that you will come across a few dickheads which is part and parcel of the process. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes you can

Good luck

Monkey x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all,

Now for the advice. So many guys I have met have paid me compliments on my body and looks, which is always nice.

One thing I have literally never done in my life is go out, have a few drinks and literally pull a guy. I am quite embarrassed to admit this but I knew the guy I married from a young age.

Question is people, can a woman of my age really go out these days when Newcastle is so full of girls in their 20's and late teens and expect to find a guy for a night.

Its something id really like to do, but feel as though my ability to do it disappeared years ago.

Apologies for the strangeness of this post, but here is the only place I could think of to ask. "
of course you can and Newcastle is the place to do it too I really enjoy a night out there xxx

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By *untimes6969Man over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Hi Mandy

Get yourself out and about - loads of choice of bars in Newcastle! You'll be surprised how friendly and how much attention you'll receive - keep an open mind!

Confidence is a strange thing 'If you think you can, you can but if you think you can't, you're right!

You're just going to meet friends you don't know yet!

Good luck and let us know how you get on!

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By *ery curious maleMan over a year ago

Bishop Auckland

I am sure you will have no problem at all. You will no doubt get attention from the more mature male but you maybe surprised how much attention you get from the younger guys as well

Good luck x

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By *ikeC2012Man over a year ago

Peterborough

Have you thought of having a drink in the bar of a hotel which is frequented by visiting business men?

Just a thought, you could well strike lucky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi all,

Now for the advice. So many guys I have met have paid me compliments on my body and looks, which is always nice.

One thing I have literally never done in my life is go out, have a few drinks and literally pull a guy. I am quite embarrassed to admit this but I knew the guy I married from a young age.

Question is people, can a woman of my age really go out these days when Newcastle is so full of girls in their 20's and late teens and expect to find a guy for a night.

Its something id really like to do, but feel as though my ability to do it disappeared years ago.

Apologies for the strangeness of this post, but here is the only place I could think of to ask. "

Tbf, if you came onto me on a vanilla night out, I'd be flattered. You're sexy

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By *airy_HettyWoman over a year ago

Greater London

"Hi all,

Now for the advice. So many guys I have met have paid me compliments on my body and looks, which is always nice.

One thing I have literally never done in my life is go out, have a few drinks and literally pull a guy. I am quite embarrassed to admit this but I knew the guy I married from a young age.

Question is people, can a woman of my age really go out these days when Newcastle is so full of girls in their 20's and late teens and expect to find a guy for a night.

Its something id really like to do, but feel as though my ability to do it disappeared years ago.

Apologies for the strangeness of this post, but here is the only place I could think of to ask. "

Go for it. Remember, different strokes for different folks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for the reply. Think me problem is really, I see all these young girls out and about these days and think there is absolutely noway I cant compete with that.

I think you should stick with swinging events . To save yourself time and money. If you go to a vanilla pub maybe 1 or 2 guys will hit on you.

Then you will probably leave early.If you go to a club or event. Every man will hit on you and you can pick from the lot. Go where you're the hunted

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for the replies. I am going to have a think tonight and maybe message a friend to see if she is free this weekend.

Hopefully I can pluck up the courage to make it happen.

Good luck.

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By *ralextacyMan over a year ago

Cardiff

Mandy,

From what I can see of your profile onage, I think many of us (men and women) would probably ask where you were going to try and pull you

Stay positive and know that we respect your choices and wish you the best of luck!

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By *ralextacyMan over a year ago

Cardiff

"Mandy,

From what I can see of your profile onage, I think many of us (men and women) would probably ask where you were going to try and pull you

Stay positive and know that we respect your choices and wish you the best of luck!

Page... not onage lol

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

Several young guys have told me they are on Fab because they can't meet older women on a night out. So you should get a result. Just have a good time and not be on the lookout as such

And the others are right, there is no competition, us older women are in a league of our own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mandy

I have never pulled either ??

To shy and too scared about not being able to perform?

But luckily have a friend who has brought me self belief since being on site !

Don't know if I have the patter in person to do it ? But I'd be better now than a year ago !!

If your after a young guy be brazen and chat them up trust me they will respond ?

If not they are either not worth pursuing or mad !!!!

As most guys of my age will be saying right now ??

Oh to be younger

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