FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Letting someone down...

Letting someone down...

By *orth South Divide OP Couple over a year ago

Birmingham

...without being rude.

Okay, on the back of the thread about SPAG (spelling, punctuation and grammar) and the thread about awful things on people's profiles, what do you guys do when someone who you don't really like the look of approaches you to get 'equanted' (sic)?

We don't want to be rude or nasty, but really don't think they're for us.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would say no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I either say they aren't really what I am looking for or they aren't my type

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do you mean in person or on here? Generally a deleted message is accepted as a 'thanks but no'.

In person I'd advise not to fake throwing up in your mouth that tends never to get well received

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...without being rude.

We don't want to be rude or nasty, but really don't think they're for us. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Honesty is the best way, no sense leaving the other party hanging thinking they might be in with a shout.

Better to just tell it how it is, I know we'd appreciate that over BS filled, fluffy answers.

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

We usually repond with something along the lines of...

Hi and thanks for your interest.

Unfortunately you are not for us, but happy swinging.

Nita x

We've never had a nasty reply so it seems to work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you.

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By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Thank you for the attention, I am flattered but you are not my type

C...

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By *illyjohnyCouple over a year ago

brighton

A polite decline from us and good luck

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By *bovethekneeCouple over a year ago

Hampshire / Herefordshire

Yes we prefer the polite reply as well. Always to people who have put some effort into their message or asked for something. For the numpties who just send a message along the line of "Yo" they would just get deleted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On here? I just ignore. I've learnt that responding and trying to be polite just results in further messages or abuse.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple over a year ago

West Midlands

Having had a brilliant day, I decided to respond with a polite no to someone who mailed, which unleashed a torrent of gangsta-speak abuse and threats, I think solely delete in future is the way forward

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Or you could delete, and block like so many rude women on here seem to do, irrespective of whether you have sent a lengthy thoughtful polite message

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

On here, if they send a decent message and picture I say no thankyou. Anything else gets ignored.

In a club I'd just smile and say no thankyou

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By *alandNitaCouple over a year ago

Scunthorpe

It is not rude to not reply and just delete. It simply means that they are not interested.

Many women get hundreds of messages a day and would spend their whole life replying to messages if they were to respond in full to them all.

You may find that this post could result in further deletions... this response is unlikely to be found attractive to the majority of ladies on here.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not only do the forum guidelines advise that no response means "not interested", but we also state it clearly in our profile. Anyone who can't be bothered to read the profile or site rules has little grounds to whine about "rude" no-replies

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It is not rude to not reply and just delete. It simply means that they are not interested.

Many women get hundreds of messages a day and would spend their whole life replying to messages if they were to respond in full to them all.

You may find that this post could result in further deletions... this response is unlikely to be found attractive to the majority of ladies on here.

Nita"
of course it's rude not to reply

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By *ussyhussyCouple over a year ago

south west

If we are not interested in some one we don't really care if they think we are rude or not. If you get no reply then we are not interested if you think we are rude then don't message us again, it's fine we will live with it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We usually repond with something along the lines of...

Hi and thanks for your interest.

Unfortunately you are not for us, but happy swinging.

Nita x This

We've never had a nasty reply so it seems to work

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By *win PeaksCouple over a year ago

Northamptonshire

We always reply with a polite 'no thank you' and have never had any nasty responses.

Dave

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we politely say sorry but they arent for us -

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you. "

Thanks for your nice message. You look great but you're too far away sorry. Have fun. x

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By *andsonjohnMan over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

Let them down politely its never a nice thing or a easy thing saying no thanks to someone based off of a picture because basicly your telling them you don't fancy them based purely on there looking and body shape .

Now that's not a nice thing to ever have to do to a fellow human being anyone with a ounce of empathy will tell you that .

But it has to be done sometimes and should never be done in a nasty way nor should the person on the receiving end of a polite no thanks turn hasty over it .

Sadly in experience rejection brings the worst out in people at a time when they should be showing their best side after all people have been known to change there minds over time about some one .

A person who's not your general type can grow on your through the force of their personality over time so show your best side when being rejected just in case they have a change of mind down the line something they will never have if your nasty when rejected .

All this is based on you taking part in forums and diaries on sites expressing who you are as a human being instead of random messages to complete strangers .

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By *sianmale89Man over a year ago

Stockport

"...without being rude.

We don't want to be rude or nasty, but really don't think they're for us. "

as long as you don't friend invite them then make some conversation and try to get to know each other at one point then later on when they try getting back to you and you block them without an explanation...

everything shall be fine if you don't do that and just say a no straight up and all will be aces...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you.

Thanks for your nice message. You look great but you're too far away sorry. Have fun. x"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you.

Thanks for your nice message. You look great but you're too far away sorry. Have fun. x

Oh go on then. Pull my nightie back down when you've finished.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just block them that's what most do on here

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I'm always friendly, especially if someone shows me warmth and interest. If it was obvious that their desire was for something that I'm not interested in reciprocating, then I'd be really clear and warm with it.

If it's just via a fab message, then I'd be similar and wouldn't rush to meet socially as it would give the wrong signals.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"On here? I just ignore. I've learnt that responding and trying to be polite just results in further messages or abuse. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just block them that's what most do on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"...without being rude.

We don't want to be rude or nasty, but really don't think they're for us. "

A simple 'Thanks, but no thanks' usually suffices.

Amazing how many people reply with a 'thanks for taking the time to reply'.

But we only reply to those who've bothered to read our profile in the first place.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

Depends, if they sent a nice message but I wasn't interested then I would reply with a thanks but no thanks.

If it was the frequent crude or pointless message then I would probably just ignore it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just say I dont really think this will go anywhere, I will have sex with you a couple of times , so you feel like you got something out of it .

Easiest way to dump a girl is becoming needy , just call them every day and send thoughtful text messages , works a treat

Usually has the girls running for the hills

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By *imply_SensualMan over a year ago

warrington

I am never rude, there's no need to be, so the standard reply of " Thanks, but messages from Munters Inc. should be directed to the profile two below this one in the search list"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

on site its easy,thanks,but you are not my type.good luck.but at clubs i dont find it easy,especially if the bloke asks"what are you looking for".stupid question that is.i hate saying no thanks to their face,but you have to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Crude or one liners are just ignored or deleted... messages with a bit of effort that show that they have read the profile get a reply. Irrespective of wether we like the look or not

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By *at69driveMan over a year ago

Hertford

"...without being rude.

We don't want to be rude or nasty, but really don't think they're for us. "

You can just ignore if you don't feel comfortable with sending a rejection message . The forum rules state that they is no need to reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you.

Thanks for your nice message. You look great but you're too far away sorry. Have fun. x"

If I say that, they always say they can travel

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No thanks usually suffices. If they want an explanation they get blocked. It's really easy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If we are not interested in some one we don't really care if they think we are rude or not. If you get no reply then we are not interested if you think we are rude then don't message us again, it's fine we will live with it. "

Love this fussy!

Initially if I have time to reply I give a no thank you. If I then get a whiney reply I just block.

I'm always impressed with the guys who take it graciously.

In clubs I find it a lot more tricky. To be honest I'm still trying to find a nice way of saying no ta without me feeling really uncomfortable!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No thanks usually suffices. If they want an explanation they get blocked. It's really easy.

But why Scarlet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I receive a negative reply it's usually...

Thanks but no thanks.

Or just deleted, I get the message.

One I had yesterday....Sorry, but you're not our cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I receive a negative reply it's usually...

Thanks but no thanks.

Or just deleted, I get the message.

One I had yesterday....Sorry, but you're not our cup of tea."

I hope you reported them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If I receive a negative reply it's usually...

Thanks but no thanks.

Or just deleted, I get the message.

One I had yesterday....Sorry, but you're not our cup of tea.

I hope you reported them

I didn't.

But then I prefer coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon. And as it was before midday...ee just weren't compatible!

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By *orth South Divide OP Couple over a year ago

Birmingham

"Let them down politely its never a nice thing or a easy thing saying no thanks to someone based off of a picture because basicly your telling them you don't fancy them based purely on there looking and body shape .

Now that's not a nice thing to ever have to do to a fellow human being anyone with a ounce of empathy will tell you that .

But it has to be done sometimes and should never be done in a nasty way nor should the person on the receiving end of a polite no thanks turn hasty over it .

Sadly in experience rejection brings the worst out in people at a time when they should be showing their best side after all people have been known to change there minds over time about some one .

All this is based on you taking part in forums and diaries on sites expressing who you are as a human being instead of random messages to complete strangers .

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I think this is along the lines of my thoughts. I'm making all sorts of assumptions about people based solely on their spelling and grammar and the nature of their pictures (not even body shape, but how type of pictures they have chosen to display). I'm conscious that this is not a great thing to do and really don't want to be cruel or nasty.

And who knows, were we to meet them in a club, we might get on like a house on fire...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No thanks usually suffices. If they want an explanation they get blocked. It's really easy.

But why Scarlet?

That's you blocked missy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you.

Thanks for your nice message. You look great but you're too far away sorry. Have fun. x

If I say that, they always say they can travel

They sometimes reply the same to me but I don't reply again. I gave my reason in a polite way.

If I've said no thanks I don't get into any conversations, there's no need. I think that can cause problems as they think they can win me over if they keep chatting. Or they get irate if they keep getting told no.

Nice polite reply + no further discussion = happy people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you.

Thanks for your nice message. You look great but you're too far away sorry. Have fun. x

If I say that, they always say they can travel

"
but it's a fact I can pitstop

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is no need for anyone to be rude or nasty when replying to a message. Even if the person repulses you you can politely say no thank you.

Thanks for your nice message. You look great but you're too far away sorry. Have fun. x

If I say that, they always say they can travel

They sometimes reply the same to me but I don't reply again. I gave my reason in a polite way.

Nice polite reply + no further discussion = happy people.

"
I agree with this ,this is the way to go x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Love this fussy!

Initially if I have time to reply I give a no thank you. If I then get a whiney reply I just block.

I'm always impressed with the guys who take it graciously.

In clubs I find it a lot more tricky. To be honest I'm still trying to find a nice way of saying no ta without me feeling really uncomfortable!

"I'm happy just sitting here right now thank you." Big smile.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No thanks usually suffices. If they want an explanation they get blocked. It's really easy.

But why Scarlet?

That's you blocked missy

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