FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How can I get to be in a swinging relationship?
How can I get to be in a swinging relationship?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
that's coz you didn't reply to my messages  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ark074Man
over a year ago
nottingham |
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
You've blocked every male on here!
Duh! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
Thanks. Should I change my profile to say that more directly? Of course there is a big difference between finding someone to have occasional sex with and someone to be in a relationship with that you get on with and also wants to swing! Needle in a haystack...? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I feel the same as a guy. I did end up swinging with someone I met off here for a while but it didnt work out. Nothing to do with the swinging side. Yes I like fun but it would be nice to be in a relationship were we trust each other enough to enjoy swinging too. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
It might help if you were looking for single guys |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ark074Man
over a year ago
nottingham |
"I have not ' blocked every male on here', I'm overwhelmed with messages from men, often 20 a day, and the ones I have blocked are just not offering me what I'm looking for. "
Only 20 a day. I would have thought you'd be running into the hundreds.
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
I've got too many men right now, I've had to start a spreadsheet to keep up with them all! Only put filters on yesterday after learning about them on here. I enjoy having lots of lovers but really only want one that I'm compatible with and to enjoy swinging together... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got too many men right now, I've had to start a spreadsheet to keep up with them all! Only put filters on yesterday after learning about them on here. I enjoy having lots of lovers but really only want one that I'm compatible with and to enjoy swinging together..."
And you cant find one compatible enough to form a swinging relationship with then ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see response s to this as I feel the same way."
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look hes in a relationship!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got too many men right now, I've had to start a spreadsheet to keep up with them all! Only put filters on yesterday after learning about them on here. I enjoy having lots of lovers but really only want one that I'm compatible with and to enjoy swinging together..."
hey we were chatting for ages you went on holiday and never heard from you again if you want to find someone you have to concentrate on a few and give them time ,it's the thing that most irritates me about this place ,you just move from one guy to the next  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see response s to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look hes in a relationship! "
The site is what YOU want it to be...not what others want...your choice and preferences  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *affy72Woman
over a year ago
Herefordshire |
"I'll be interested to see responses to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look he's in a relationship! "
Oh I thought that just happened to me! Seems some men are looking for a virgin for a relationship, but us women who have a healthy attitude to sex are only good enough to shag but not date?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see response s to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look hes in a relationship! "
but that applies to men and women we are all searching for something  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see responses to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look he's in a relationship!
Oh I thought that just happened to me! Seems some men are looking for a virgin for a relationship, but us women who have a healthy attitude to sex are only good enough to shag but not date?!"
So true!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see responses to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look he's in a relationship!
Oh I thought that just happened to me! Seems some men are looking for a virgin for a relationship, but us women who have a healthy attitude to sex are only good enough to shag but not date?!"
look it's all about luck really meeting the right person at the right moment ,single guys and girls can do as they please some guys say they aren't looking for a relationship but if the right woman comes along bam and visa versa |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We started out as a vanilla'ish couple I knew from day 1 that L was bi, and it was cool if she ended up in bed with a woman or two, but problem with vanilla sexual partners is they kept wanting more than a bit of fun, so we discovered swinging.
Think you can never find a relationship, they find you... but if you start it open and honest there is a lot more chance that when it does find you you will have fewer compromises to make so here or the local supermarket wherever you find it. you should be able to continue to swing as long as it's mentioned early enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Blonde moment i sent it to the wrong person . Sorry .. anyway i cant message you as males are blocked its ok but if you want a chat and see what i said you will have to message me first sowie .. mark  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
Two things:
I think often the 'holy grail' of which you speak is the result of a long and loving relationship where a couple feel secure enough in their relationship to swing. We have been swinging for about a year, but have been together for 27.
Secondly, from a number of comments I have read in the forums, a number of single swingers aren't really single, and many of the rest aren't really swingers 
Good luck
Mr ddc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We started off as a vanilla couple but quickly realised we both were attracted to women in general and took it from there. Swinging couples are apparently happier on average than non swingers. However, if you think finding a boyfriend/girlfriend who wants to seeing, imagine how hard it is as a couple to find a fb |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is what comes up when i try to message xxx
Sorry, you can't send private mail to this user
Why? User has blocked everyone of your sex"
That's not a block, that is a message filter. 2 different things. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Either the guys will think your good enough to settle down with or they won't
Either the women will think your good enough to settle down with or they won't
Trying to have a relationship with someone who likes casual sex with strangers will be hard as let's face it they like casual sex with strangers
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see responses to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look he's in a relationship!
Oh I thought that just happened to me! Seems some men are looking for a virgin for a relationship, but us women who have a healthy attitude to sex are only good enough to shag but not date?!
So true! "
. Yea I'd love a nice lifestyle with a female |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You are too far away, I'm looking for someone more local to me. why didn't you say that then instead of ignoring messages I can read "
Because she didn't want to receive messages like that!
A block/ignore is a 'no thank you'. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We met as swingers but it was difficult at first as there was some jealousy but in the end we do think it has made us stronger."
Ive just started a relationship with another swinger, hes been doing it a few years longer than me and the jealousy sometimes hits me, especially as its long distance too, but i know that as long as we talk it should get stronger x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'd say it was very difficult to find. I think I'd like something similar but I understand how unlikely that would be in reality.
I often think maybe I should stick with the vanilla life but I keep getting dragged back.
I'd love to talk about and share this lifestyle with someone..but it has to be the right someone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We met on here and neither of us were looking. We both have teenage kids and work commitments so both were on here because we did not have the time or energy for a relationship. From the first meet (he calls it a date, but I am sure it wasn't) we have hardly been apart - and now living together. It takes time to build a relationship, but when you find someone you click with, it just feels so right. I don't think you can go looking as you will jumps in too quickly without knowing someone and then 'wake up' a few months later realising that you don't know or love each other, just the idea. We rarely argue because we have the same fundamental outlook and values although we approach life differently, which is great for variety. It was just coincidental that we are both swingers, as we have so much more in common than that and we enjoy each other's company and want to spend time with each other .... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You are too far away, I'm looking for someone more local to me. why didn't you say that then instead of ignoring messages I can read
Because she didn't want to receive messages like that!
A block/ignore is a 'no thank you'. "
mind your own business my friend I don't poke mine in yours |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You are too far away, I'm looking for someone more local to me. why didn't you say that then instead of ignoring messages I can read
Because she didn't want to receive messages like that!
A block/ignore is a 'no thank you'. mind your own business my friend I don't poke mine in yours "
it's a public forum. I've as much right as anyone to comment within the rules. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Isn't it easier to just meet up and repeat meet and before you know it, you have what you're looking for? I didn't have any trouble finding male fb's and now I've met a female and we're happily in a relationship (although have stopping actively meeting others) If either of us wanted to continue meeting, then it's open for discussion.
Good luck and hope you find what you're looking for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You are too far away, I'm looking for someone more local to me. why didn't you say that then instead of ignoring messages I can read
Because she didn't want to receive messages like that!
A block/ignore is a 'no thank you'. mind your own business my friend I don't poke mine in yours "
crikey your a real charmer. The women must be throwing themselves at your feet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
A good start would be to remove the phrase: 'not looking for single guys'
Also, include some of what you have said here into your introduction/ profile text. By putting a key word into your text and asking responders to quote it you should get away from the cut and paste guys who are one meeting their way through the site.
Best wishes and keep us up to date on how you are getting on.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I met my partner on here. Both being single swingers. We spent two years together until he got emotionally involved with another single girl we met. But until that point, swinging relationships can work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it happens in a few ways - naturally two swingers repeat meeting etc, or couples experimenting etc, but I'd expect some people would like the idea and struggle with the practical reality, like anything else.
If you're upfront about your open mind about a potential relationship then it helps to manage expectation I guess. I couldn't imagine meeting a woman I'd be happy dating on here, but that's just my view. Good luck with your search  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm single and I guess relatively happy being so. I'd like a relationship but it's just time to find one that is compatible.
I think meeting someone from fab is probably not ideal as a couple should bond together before even considering sharing if it's a relationship.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You are too far away, I'm looking for someone more local to me. why didn't you say that then instead of ignoring messages I can read
Because she didn't want to receive messages like that!
A block/ignore is a 'no thank you'. mind your own business my friend I don't poke mine in yours crikey your a real charmer. The women must be throwing themselves at your feet."
he was making a comment that had no bearing on what happened we were still friends but she was getting inundated with messages and only answering 1in 10 of mine I got fed up and sent here a message saying I would leave her to it but I liked her was disappointed how it ended up ,people in forums are quick to judge without knowing facts can be a little irritating sometimes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I met my husband on Fab and we have been married 8 years. We are now getting divorced because he expected me to give up swinging but continued for all of that time behind my back. I suppose what I am trying to say is set boundaries and ensure both stick to them. Good luck xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's obviously not a dating website on here. But if you're meeting single men, then magic can happen!
You just click, you both get on well with each other, it's nice to have the companionship...and then who knows! Let's face it, you have swinging in common and similar views on sex!!
I was in no way looking for a relationship when I met the otherhalf on here...but 5yrs on we are getting married! Neither of us saw that coming! So you see, it can happen!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm single and I guess relatively happy being so. I'd like a relationship but it's just time to find one that is compatible.
I think meeting someone from fab is probably not ideal as a couple should bond together before even considering sharing if it's a relationship.
"
See, I read this whole relationship thing another way ands see that for many couples, even though they wouldn't dare admit it, its the swinging that is keeping them together - they are not enough fop each other. When you meet on here, you know for sure one hundred per cent you are both into it and noon is doing it for their partner's pleasure but not feeling comfortable with it themselves. We have seen many couples at parties where its obvious one is into it more than the other. If anything, since meeting on here, we have turned our back on meets and been so much more into the social side of swinging. I rarely meet men, only with black cop ... we have bonded despite meeting on fab and finding the need for others for sharing less and less .... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"You are too far away, I'm looking for someone more local to me. why didn't you say that then instead of ignoring messages I can read
Because she didn't want to receive messages like that!
A block/ignore is a 'no thank you'. mind your own business my friend I don't poke mine in yours crikey your a real charmer. The women must be throwing themselves at your feet.he was making a comment that had no bearing on what happened we were still friends but she was getting inundated with messages and only answering 1in 10 of mine I got fed up and sent here a message saying I would leave her to it but I liked her was disappointed how it ended up ,people in forums are quick to judge without knowing facts can be a little irritating sometimes "
If you're leaving her to it why stalk her on the forums. Not good. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You are too far away, I'm looking for someone more local to me. why didn't you say that then instead of ignoring messages I can read
Because she didn't want to receive messages like that!
A block/ignore is a 'no thank you'. mind your own business my friend I don't poke mine in yours crikey your a real charmer. The women must be throwing themselves at your feet.he was making a comment that had no bearing on what happened we were still friends but she was getting inundated with messages and only answering 1in 10 of mine I got fed up and sent here a message saying I would leave her to it but I liked her was disappointed how it ended up ,people in forums are quick to judge without knowing facts can be a little irritating sometimes
If you're leaving her to it why stalk her on the forums. Not good."
hey it was my choice to stop messaging her she was only replying to 1 in 10 of my messages but she was replying we were still and are still friends all i did was ask why she didnt say I was too far when we were chatting how is that stalking ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That's the end now she didn't block me and I didn't her we stopped chatting on good terms ,she has however I'm told set her filters to stop all men chatting to her and hopefully if she comes back on this thread she will say something positive on my behalf to quell the forum critics,we got on very well and I am a lovely guy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd say it was very difficult to find. I think I'd like something similar but I understand how unlikely that would be in reality.
I often think maybe I should stick with the vanilla life but I keep getting dragged back.
I'd love to talk about and share this lifestyle with someone..but it has to be the right someone"
Do you know what I'm exactly the same. I'd love someone to share my whole life with. Someone where we could go to ikea then a club on the way home. That's the ultimate thing for me. However, it has to be based on more than sex. it has to have those fireworks and butterflies that come when you've met a person that turns your mind and body to jelly x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Two things:
I think often the 'holy grail' of which you speak is the result of a long and loving relationship where a couple feel secure enough in their relationship to swing. We have been swinging for about a year, but have been together for 27.
Secondly, from a number of comments I have read in the forums, a number of single swingers aren't really single, and many of the rest aren't really swingers
Good luck
Mr ddc"
This in every way. As much fun as swinging is its serious business to decide to do it as a couple. You have to 100% trust in each other and be completely honest. I was a single girl on here when I met my now partner who wasn't on fab. I shut down my profile but told him about it, our relationship has grown and we are enjoying this as an add on to our relationship.
You have to enjoy having/exploring sex with each other void of anyone else and not go down the route of this is your sex life.
I love having sex with the Mr and if we never met another couple again who took our fancy it wouldn't change a thing.
Think of it as eating a piece of cake...the cake is delicious but every now and then you feel naughty and put some cream on top. Maybe even a cherry
Miss
Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No matter if you are vanilla or swinger, when love hits, it strikes you hard........There is a question you can ask yourself.
"Are you in love? " this is a yes or no answer, if you say maybe, then you are not......If I ever fell in love again, I would give this up!!!!! As I would only need the love and sex from that guy. But saying that!!!!!!! Lol, I am greedy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see responses to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look he's in a relationship!
Oh I thought that just happened to me! Seems some men are looking for a virgin for a relationship, but us women who have a healthy attitude to sex are only good enough to shag but not date?!"
I agree.. I have a pretty full on job.. and I also have a healthy attitude to sex... in that I love it.. It would be nice to form a trust with someone so we can still play but enjoy each other and keep it fresh and exciting... now that's a wish list lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *elloWoman
over a year ago
alpha centauri |
I met my ex at a swingers club, we had a long distant relationship for 7 years but after the first couple of years I stupidly took a break from swinging and when I recently mentioned starting again he finished the relationship, so I guess 2 single swingers can meet on here and/or at clubs (I'm hoping to find someone too) but don't change yourself, do discuss everything openly and make sure you spend enough quality time alone together |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dude you're not making yourself look good. It's not a good idea to discuss pm's in the forum "
I was attacked for no reason by several people I defended myself sorry ,I've seen people get attacked by the mob in here before and I won't have it
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I agree with many in here, we were together 10 years before we started swinging.
We've both thought about what would happen if we found ourselves single again having now experienced this.
It's tricky, because it only works for "us" because we had that foundation. I personally think it would be a lot more difficult to have that from the start.
Then again, on the flip side the advantages are there also. You will probably be a lot more open from day one. And in reality, I couldn't spend another 10 years before mentioning it so guess I'd have to find away.
I think approaching it both ways has its own merits and pitfalls. But sure it can be done op.
D |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Two things:
I think often the 'holy grail' of which you speak is the result of a long and loving relationship where a couple feel secure enough in their relationship to swing. We have been swinging for about a year, but have been together for 27.
Secondly, from a number of comments I have read in the forums, a number of single swingers aren't really single, and many of the rest aren't really swingers
Good luck
Mr ddc"
Exactly this! Good luck x
Ms El |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I met my ex in the hot tub at a swinging club. It didn't work out but we were together 6 years. I've got it on my profile that I'm looking for a relationship again. Fab is whatever you want it to be. Good luck in your search x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You'd have to be careful if looking for a relationship on here, I've seen it happen regularly where some men just want the relationship so they get to meet more fems as being a couple is easier. You'd have to consider what you'd want too: full swap/ soft swing etc. Some might prefer if you didn't meet other men. Best way is not to look for it and see if it comes to you instead |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You'd have to be careful if looking for a relationship on here, I've seen it happen regularly where some men just want the relationship so they get to meet more fems as being a couple is easier. You'd have to consider what you'd want too: full swap/ soft swing etc. Some might prefer if you didn't meet other men. Best way is not to look for it and see if it comes to you instead "
Your so right Kimi...seen it loads of times  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Currently an emotional wreck over this. looking for LTR as I'd still like to swing but as a couple, bored on my own. But no one would like to commit or say they are then sneak around, or do I give up swinging, go on to a regular site, where they can still cheat, introduce them to swinging, and open that Pandora's box. Either way, I'm screwed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You'd have to be careful if looking for a relationship on here, I've seen it happen regularly where some men just want the relationship so they get to meet more fems as being a couple is easier. You'd have to consider what you'd want too: full swap/ soft swing etc. Some might prefer if you didn't meet other men. Best way is not to look for it and see if it comes to you instead "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We met through here, but took a time out to really get to know each other before making a couples profile to swing together. Its not easy as we have alot of differences in the people we are attracted too but it can work, just needs alot of communication and trust! Just remember its a extra to what you already have.
Doll x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
I'd. Swung before I met my girl and liked it. Actually chatted her up on the biggest social network site (FB). When we started dating I felt I had to tell her what I'd been up to before we met and how I liked it, her answer was "great we can go to Chams together" turns out she used to go with a friend of hers and liked it too. The rest is history as they say and we're getting married next year.
Good luck with your search sweet, dreams do cum true. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You'd have to be careful if looking for a relationship on here, I've seen it happen regularly where some men just want the relationship so they get to meet more fems as being a couple is easier. You'd have to consider what you'd want too: full swap/ soft swing etc. Some might prefer if you didn't meet other men. Best way is not to look for it and see if it comes to you instead
Your so right Kimi...seen it loads of times "
It's not good and some just jump straight into it and split up soon after, all because there was no communication there as to what each other want. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I for one would love to get into this kind of relationship, but I would want to get to know the person before very well the same way you would a vanilla relationship |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would have no issue with this as long as the basics of a relationship were the. I.e honesty trust etc. To me once you have these and if both (note that bit) are wanting to swing to what ever limits then happy days.
I'm not far from you Op and if you fancy chatting let me know. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Id really like to find my other half on here. I do have it in my profile that I would date a swinger happily. Ive always admired the trust the couples have on here and because im not a jealous person I would be fine with it. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can't be bothered to read all 80 something messages, but my 0.02 worth is that I can think of four couples in my local area who single swingers on Fab and got together to be couples who swing. It doesn't seem that rare. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So why couldn't you imagine dating a woman you'd met on here? Why are they any different to women anywhere else?"
It's actually good when people out themselves as non-swingers like that. It seems to be quite a common attitude amongst men and women both. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So why couldn't you imagine dating a woman you'd met on here? Why are they any different to women anywhere else?
It's actually good when people out themselves as non-swingers like that. It seems to be quite a common attitude amongst men and women both."
He hasn't clarified what he meant. There are many reasons why someone wouldn't date a person from here.
He hasn't "outed" himself as anything. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We met on here as singles. We met for the first time in October 2011 and 10 months later created a couples profile So almost 4 years
Neither of us were looking for a relationship, it just happened.
No we didn't expect to meet single fems and most of our meets are with couples.
As has been said, don't look for it, if it is going to happen it will.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex husband introduced me to the world of swinging. It didn't work out for us but whilst going to a swinging club by myself I met my current husband. I'm allowed out to play alone as is husband. I currently am very lucky in having a FWB as well as a husband and able to have "relationships" with both of them. Both relationships where not expected or even looked for they just happened. Good luck with your search there are genuine people out there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I met a man on here had a relationship. I knew in my gut something was not right and it turned out he was still seeing other women.
I think he may have wanted me to stop seeing other men.
The whole thing was bonkers as we'd met on here and didn't need to be exclusive.
With a better man I think it would be possible to start a swinging relationship from Fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Should I change my profile to say that more directly?
I had a similar question and a friend on here said do it, make your profile honest.
Plus most guys don't read them anyway "
I wouldn't do it, put it on my profile, if it's what I was looking for; especially after some of the comments on this post, saying they would date her etc, they don;t even know her.
If it was me, I'd just meet people and see how things went, you know if there's chemistry between both and things normally go one way or another and if it feels right, eventually talk about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Should I change my profile to say that more directly?
I had a similar question and a friend on here said do it, make your profile honest.
Plus most guys don't read them anyway
I wouldn't do it, put it on my profile, if it's what I was looking for; especially after some of the comments on this post, saying they would date her etc, they don;t even know her.
If it was me, I'd just meet people and see how things went, you know if there's chemistry between both and things normally go one way or another and if it feels right, eventually talk about it. "
More wise words Kimi...but some are saying from desperation me thinks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We started out as vanilla but talked about swinging from the start.our relationship started out as sex,its the foundation that built our love,but it took us six years or so to finally start swinging,and its one of our favourite things to do together.there are no petty jealousies here,just our wedding to plan next may |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So why couldn't you imagine dating a woman you'd met on here? Why are they any different to women anywhere else?
It's actually good when people out themselves as non-swingers like that. It seems to be quite a common attitude amongst men and women both."
Am I being a bit slow here...when did I out myself as a non-swinger? I have enough people who could vouch for me as a 'swinger', I'm just saying I can't imagine myself dating someone I meet on a swinging site - as I'm sure plenty of others have felt that at times, even those who eventually end up in happy swinging relationships. Jeez, focus on the OP's points and interesting stuff, no need to negatively / wrongly interpret points |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm just saying I can't imagine myself dating someone I meet on a swinging site - as I'm sure plenty of others have felt that at times"
Not me, I can't see how someone can be shaggable but not dateable just because of the site they met on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm just saying I can't imagine myself dating someone I meet on a swinging site - as I'm sure plenty of others have felt that at times
Not me, I can't see how someone can be shaggable but not dateable just because of the site they met on."
It doesn't necessarily mean that. I wouldn't date anyone from here either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm just saying I can't imagine myself dating someone I meet on a swinging site - as I'm sure plenty of others have felt that at times
Not me, I can't see how someone can be shaggable but not dateable just because of the site they met on."
I would like to know the answer to that question as well!! Does it really matter where you meet as long as you click and care for each other enough to try and give it a go. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm just saying I can't imagine myself dating someone I meet on a swinging site - as I'm sure plenty of others have felt that at times
Not me, I can't see how someone can be shaggable but not dateable just because of the site they met on.
I would like to know the answer to that question as well!! Does it really matter where you meet as long as you click and care for each other enough to try and give it a go. "
It's not an actual barrier as you imagined it...I just mean the people I have met on here, a limited number but still my experience, aren't people I would generally imagine dating. The place I meet someone is irrelevant, but the nature of it, the environment and the online thing (which is a mystery to me away from fab), mean it's a different dynamic. Just a personal choice and interpretation, nothing set in stone and definitely not a criticism of others, and blatantly not worth getting knickers in a twist, especially on a Friday night |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We met through fab an are very happy very much in love have never been happier if there is chemistry then it will happen xxx"
Exactly, this supports a point of individual experiences, great to hear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You'd have to be careful if looking for a relationship on here, I've seen it happen regularly where some men just want the relationship so they get to meet more fems as being a couple is easier. You'd have to consider what you'd want too: full swap/ soft swing etc. Some might prefer if you didn't meet other men. Best way is not to look for it and see if it comes to you instead "
Men - cum to me, cum to me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We met on POF. Both of us were in unhappy sexless relationships.
We started our relationship being very open and honest with each other. Soon after, when the relationship became one that became sexual we openly talked about our needs, wants and fantasies. In fact we had a list of a hundred sex acts or fetishes and scored each one. After swapping the sheets it was interesting to see what she had scored.some of them were never going to be scored highly (scat) so we never approached that subject. One of them was about other couples. I'm sure my partner put down a high score for being with another women. That was a year ago. We only recently joined this site more out of curiosity than anything else, but once the seed was sown it snowballed from there. It just took communication and honesty to get the ball rolling. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
its simple move 150 to 200 miles north to Cumbria
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We started off from beginning honestly said that we wud see others oppunity arouse , but mostly had fun with others together , quickly fell for one another and played together since that was six years ago |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Unfortunately OP, the requirements to make a good night of sexy pleasure are a long way short of those required to make a life long relationship.
Looking at your profile, you are obviously a pretty lass and you sound like you'd be a fun person to be with. Maybe you'd be better off finding your "Mr Right" in the vanilla world and suggesting swinging to him ?
Either that, or start a "Dating" thread on here to arrange dates guys who may be interested.
Cal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?
A good start would be to remove the phrase: 'not looking for single guys'
Also, include some of what you have said here into your introduction/ profile text. By putting a key word into your text and asking responders to quote it you should get away from the cut and paste guys who are one meeting their way through the site.
Best wishes and keep us up to date on how you are getting on.
"
Ive tried putting key words in my profile, it doesnt work, they just ignore it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would not have a relationship with someone from a swinger site . It's too easy for them to just want someone to swing with .
I would date a girl from here if I was ever to break up with Paula , I would fuck someone here whilst with Paula .
But no one here could give me what Paula and I have or had .
I look at the women here , and the women on other sites , and if Paula was to go . I doubt I would ever see any of them as potential swinging partners . and feel that the could easily replace Paula |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I recently met someone on here who I'd like to embark on a relationship with. Its not just sexual though and we have a lot on common and want the same kind of relationship. We'll have a few more dates discuss what is we want and make sure both sides are happy before taking it further. Sexually we are compatible just need to see if we are compatible in other areas first. I'm entering this with my eyes wide open! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We met near 10 years ago as ssingle swingers, then fell in love and the swinging went quiet. After a while we felt secure enough with each other to swing again.
It is a misconception that swinging as a couple is easy it is NOT. There are 4 people to please and finding other couples who appeal and like what we do is far from simple and we can go a year with no success as we have criteria which are critical for us, the cat allergy rules out swathes of possibles for a start.
We are now not only married but work together very closely and have done this last 7 years.
Good luck.
L2 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"me too. I would love a regular guy to meet up with,and go swinging with when we both can. Too much hard work for men up here to do that."
isnt it just!!! such hardwork..ive decided to not bother meeting |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
Ask a 100 people you'll get 100 different answers. Many get in, think, to spice up their relationship (usually driven by the guy, why so many guys still pretending to be couples here). Sometimes it works out other times it can destroy, latter more often the case.
What you see in the clubs, here, forums is not always the full picture for every happy swinging couple there are many many failed swinging/relationships
Ultimately you have to decide what you want from swinging and your interests. Play on those and look for similar, but be prepared for disappointment. If your lucky it will eventually find you as it did with us but after many mistakes.
Most guys come on these sites because they think it is free easy sex, not interested in longer term, which limits your available pool of potentials.
It will take a lot cleaning to find the ones that may be a good fit, take your time, these may not be a perfect match which too many ladies are looking for, sometimes you just have to go for the best fit and then work out finer details between yourselves.
Often like any relationship requires work
Hope this helps
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
if you have no basic loving and trusting and open with each other relationship then i fail to see how anyone can swing being a couple first swinging second |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I agree it would be awesome to meet someone into swinging too. Trouble is there’s no not many on traditional dating sites, and those that are seem to deny it initially. Or you sound weird if you ask a girl if she’s thought about swinging x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago
Oo err Devon |
We started off as a vanilla couple.. Been together about 5 months and as it became serious I blurted out that I wanted to swing... We always speak about everything with each other... like our previous sex lives etc and knew my other half was easy to talk to and has a high sex drive too... So I took the risk bei g open with him and its been amaxing!!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?"
it is i imagine just luck that a couple is on same wavelength really, i personally wouldn't want to share the person i loved but that's me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Met him on here. I was new to the swinging lifestyle and luckily soon after joining I met him and he opened my eyes to everything. Now swinging is so much more satisfying as I have someone to share it with. We’ve met some amazing people.
Love him, love what we share x
Viv xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll be interested to see responses to this as I feel the same way.
Same here...I usually get 'its a sex site not a dating site' but actually its a swingers site!! I like social side as well. Funny how a guy says looking for nsa fun/not looking for relationship...few weeks later, oh look he's in a relationship!
Oh I thought that just happened to me! Seems some men are looking for a virgin for a relationship, but us women who have a healthy attitude to sex are only good enough to shag but not date?!"
Yes!!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My husband and I started in a monogamous marriage and then opened up to the idea of exploring with others. So far so good. A few tricky things to navigate here and there - and so much more we want to explore together. But as others have said - finding people on the same wavelength can be tricky... You would think a single person would have a good chance of finding a swinging relationship on here - at least you are starting off on the same page and being honest straight up about your preferences. Not sure... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally I would need a very secure, honest and trusting relationship to swing so a relationship would have to come first and foremost swinging as a later addition. I wouldn't necessarily like to meet someone with a view to swing as that would put too much pressure on for me but in reality I doubt I would swing if I wasn't single anyway |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is something I’ve thought about a lot - for me, any new rl would need to include at the very least the possibility of swinging, deal-breaker. I’d suggest though NOT looking on here but rather crafting a profile on a vanilla site that hints at your other “interests”, but otherwise focuses on all the regular relationship stuff...then as you get intimate with someone broaching the topic. I think the best swinging is grounded in the strongest rl so that needs to come first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok what I would really love is to be in a relationship but with someone who is into the swinging lifestyle. I see so many couples at clubs that just seem to be so happy, to have the security of a loving relationship but also have the freedom and excitement of swinging. It feels like the holy grail to me but I find it impossible to create. Most men I meet on Fabs just want a one off and then they're onto the next one. Do swinging couples just start off as normal couples and then over time incorporate swinging into their lifestyle? I'd be a great partner for someone if we both wanted the same things but have had no luck finding it on here. Any ideas, advice..?
Ask a 100 people you'll get 100 different answers. Many get in, think, to spice up their relationship (usually driven by the guy, why so many guys still pretending to be couples here). Sometimes it works out other times it can destroy, latter more often the case.
What you see in the clubs, here, forums is not always the full picture for every happy swinging couple there are many many failed swinging/relationships
Ultimately you have to decide what you want from swinging and your interests. Play on those and look for similar, but be prepared for disappointment. If your lucky it will eventually find you as it did with us but after many mistakes.
Most guys come on these sites because they think it is free easy sex, not interested in longer term, which limits your available pool of potentials.
It will take a lot cleaning to find the ones that may be a good fit, take your time, these may not be a perfect match which too many ladies are looking for, sometimes you just have to go for the best fit and then work out finer details between yourselves.
Often like any relationship requires work
Hope this helps
"
You're not wrong. The problem is "easy sex". NSA should equal NME - not making effort.
As for wanting perfect - I'm pretty flexible. I've even opened my mind to an open relationship providing the man is honest (had the former without the latter). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was a single female, here, for 6 yrs before I met R. He took me to a club and we’ve been glued at the hip ever since.
I added to my profile, what it was i was looking for and expecting. Took a couple of years. Kissed a lot of frogs in the meantime.
But now we live together and hope to “ marry “.
Scarlett |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
With my last partner we where not swingers at all but we watched something on tv about it and that night in bed we got on the internet and looked it up a bit more.
Next thing is we agree to got to a club to see for it eyes what it felt like,we went and the people where so nice and friendly as we told them why we where here,they where so accommodating they gave us things to talk about.
Next day we watched a few videos on line about swinging we talked about the idea of doing this and if we could handle of us doing this.
We come to the idea that we will try this so we went back to club and we meet us with couple who talked to us last time they took us under there wing and it was amazing it was a test to our love that got stronger.
So enjoy x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
