so, we're in a happy relationship and we've dabbled in swinging. But she's gone ice cold on the idea of swinging and every time I bring it up the topic gets changed. I think it's time to call it a day or do we just need to talk it out?!
Advice much appreciated. |
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Talk about it, but sounds like give it a break ... but when you talk, don't try to persuade her, as it sounds like she's gone off it to me. To be honest, as a couple, we always talk about how we feel about everything, swinging related, what pasta to buy, etc etc .... when to put the bins out, how late to go to bed ... can't imagine us being us without talking |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
Sounds like you need to talk to each other more and not just about swinging.
Obviously we don't know you but talking is the best way to get to know what each of you wants, from life, from each other, from your relationship and what that includes or excludes. |
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"so, we're in a happy relationship and we've dabbled in swinging. But she's gone ice cold on the idea of swinging and every time I bring it up the topic gets changed. I think it's time to call it a day or do we just need to talk it out?!
Advice much appreciated."
Talk to each other. If one partner changes the subject point out that it seems she isn't keen to discuss it but you really need to and she needn't be concerned about telling you her genuine opinion.
I hope you come to a compromise that you're both happy with. |
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Maybe get her to post her thoughts, and we can give a more accurate response.
But, if she's cold to swinging atm then I'd rest the profile. You can always - both of you - use the forums, until, and if, you both get into interests of swinging again. Or keep away and see how it goes.
As others clearly show, communication is the only way to maintain a good relationship and that's got to be more important than swinging for you, surely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so, we're in a happy relationship and we've dabbled in swinging. But she's gone ice cold on the idea of swinging and every time I bring it up the topic gets changed. I think it's time to call it a day or do we just need to talk it out?!
Advice much appreciated."
you're scuppered give up on it if your partners not interested otherwise slippery slope to seperation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Find another woman who is into it and dump the miserable one 
Maybe your wife would be willing to be the other woman 
She's way to busy with me unfortunately for the op , but perhaps a single fb for the op would be good  "
Don't be selfish!! Share  |
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Swinging isn't a massive thing for me... Sure we have loads of fun, but if Anita said that she didn't fancy it any more then I'd happily never do it again.
My wife and our relationship is worth more than anything else.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Find another woman who is into it and dump the miserable one
Maybe your wife would be willing to be the other woman
She's way to busy with me unfortunately for the op , but perhaps a single fb for the op would be good
Don't be selfish!! Share "
especially if its pepperoni |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Find another woman who is into it and dump the miserable one
Maybe your wife would be willing to be the other woman
She's way to busy with me unfortunately for the op , but perhaps a single fb for the op would be good
Don't be selfish!! Share "
I can hardly be accused of not sharing |
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Ask her outright, just say "I assume you're no longer into the idea then? Do you want me to delete the profile?".
If she's no longer interested and you keep trying to persuade her, you're going to end up driving her away.
If you care about her, talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you both arent into it, dont go there...
We are all simple creatures and we get insecure ....
If your both not 100% into it, it could break your relationship !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging isn't a massive thing for me... Sure we have loads of fun, but if Anita said that she didn't fancy it any more then I'd happily never do it again.
My wife and our relationship is worth more than anything else.
Cal"
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By *angersgaloreCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire/Warwickshire border |
I would just give her some time, she might have just gone off the idea for a while. To be honest I sometimes go cold and am really not interested at all. I was off the idea for about 3 or 4 months earlier this year. Sometimes it's a confidence thing, sometimes it's just a low sex drive. Have you tried whispering things to her that could be happening while you have sex.? I find that a huge turn on.
But ultimately you need to talk to her but don't be pushy,don't give up just yet, she might just need a confidence boost or a nudge in the right direction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just change your account so it reads. Wife working in the Falklands for a year so male playing alone with her permission.
Carry on swinging until she finds out you screwing around behind her back and your problem will be solved. Set up a single profile and take meets back to your newly aquired bedsit and wonder why you didn't do the obvious thing and talk to her about the situation and if she wants to stop. STOP.
 |
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So we had a chat last night and cleared the air.. Guess we've both been busy in the real world and our sex life was getting pretty rubbish because of how we over working ourselves.
She still wants to swing but only soft play for herself. We discussed further details and cleared the air.
Guess it wasn't just our swinging but it was us together as a couple suffering.
Thanks for the help guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm talking about giving up on swinging! Just to clarify."
swinging is a couples thing if your partner doesn't want to do it you have no choice but to give up or seperate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So we had a chat last night and cleared the air.. Guess we've both been busy in the real world and our sex life was getting pretty rubbish because of how we over working ourselves.
She still wants to swing but only soft play for herself. We discussed further details and cleared the air.
Guess it wasn't just our swinging but it was us together as a couple suffering.
Thanks for the help guys "
good news! I hope it all works out for you both, and happy swinging! |
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"Whats more important.... Your wife or swinging?? 
Silly question, of course my wife is the most important, just I didn't know whether to raise it with her or bury it!"
Only asking.
You said in the original post you had tried talking about it and she changes the subject. |
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Take a break from it all and delete the whole profile - this might prompt her to think 'what could have been' and start talking about it again. Only when she is 100% sure, should you go down this path again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Erm, yeah, surely you know that you should talk to her about it rather than asking us whether you should talk to her about it..."
Truth. And ultimately if she's says she's done, you should be too. This world revolves around the lady's desire to be here. |
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" Only asking.
You said in the original post you had tried talking about it and she changes the subject. "
We discussed it and full swap is something that she wasn't ready for and so hence she tried to avoid it. I'm not going to delve in to why as that's her personal choice but soft swap is something we are still open to.
Clem - she uploads her photos herself, hence why it stumbled me a bit as its mixed signals
Floridaflirt, yup, her decision is to be on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Only asking.
You said in the original post you had tried talking about it and she changes the subject.
We discussed it and full swap is something that she wasn't ready for and so hence she tried to avoid it. I'm not going to delve in to why as that's her personal choice but soft swap is something we are still open to.
Clem - she uploads her photos herself, hence why it stumbled me a bit as its mixed signals
Floridaflirt, yup, her decision is to be on here"
Yes I think the uploading of photos is a bit mixed signals unless she just enjoys posting them. Can I ask what does soft swap for herself mean, does that mean you too....?
Maybe I didn't read it right but sounds a little confusing. |
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" Can I ask what does soft swap for herself mean, does that mean you too....?
Maybe I didn't read it right but sounds a little confusing."
Sure, it's anything but penetrative sex. She's happy with me to play further, but it all depends on the situation! |
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