FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do I make that first message count
How do I make that first message count
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By *ez_91 OP Man
over a year ago
derby |
I don't know about u guys but I'm always getting stuck on that 1st message to some one, I always read there profile but still can Neva say a thing to break the ice! Need som help guys please! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are getting stuck on the first message how did you manage to get meets op? You may want to change your status as well no ones entitled to a reply  "
I guess he isn't getting what he want's after all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are getting stuck on the first message how did you manage to get meets op? You may want to change your status as well no ones entitled to a reply "
Agree with this. If I read that status I would block you straight away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know about u guys but I'm always getting stuck on that 1st message to some one, I always read there profile but still can Neva say a thing to break the ice! Need som help guys please!"
Don't ask the guys we don't fucking know! Lol |
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I'm sorry but even if your first message was amazingly interesting, the first thing I'd do is click you profile, see your status and block.
Words like "deem worthy" I doubt are going to attract much more than a block.
We don't meet anyone that's a) needy (see your status) or b) thinks they are in anyway doing us a favour. (See profile)
And if your going to rant on a status at least try and make it readable.
All that said, I encourage everyone to be themselves. If this really is you, fair play, if you get meets(which you do seem to) then they will be exactly what your after and I wouldn't change a thing.
D |
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agree, could do some serious work on profile as comes across very in-your-face. And the status update, lose that ASAP, badly written semi-rant, quick look and most people would click the back button. good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey its a lottery women are known for their mood changes ( I wouldn't have it any other way ) so you can never say the right thing say as little as poss but be nice saying it |
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Hi Wez.
I think that the first thing you should do is have a search of the forums for other threads about the same subject. Then I would take a good long look at your profile, it's a bit crap. Check all of your spellings in everything you write and try to be positive, negativity is never attractive.
Also, looking at your face pic, you "look" very young. If I was to see you without knowing your age, I'd guess you were 16. You can't do much about that, but It wont help your cause.
Cal |
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"If you are getting stuck on the first message how did you manage to get meets op? You may want to change your status as well no ones entitled to a reply
Agree with this. If I read that status I would block you straight away. "
I couldn't actually understand the status message... |
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"If you are getting stuck on the first message how did you manage to get meets op? You may want to change your status as well no ones entitled to a reply
Agree with this. If I read that status I would block you straight away.
I couldn't actually understand the status message..."
Me neither  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are getting stuck on the first message how did you manage to get meets op? You may want to change your status as well no ones entitled to a reply
Agree with this. If I read that status I would block you straight away.
I couldn't actually understand the status message...
Me neither "
He's moaning that people don't reply! |
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"I'm sorry but even if your first message was amazingly interesting, the first thing I'd do is click you profile, see your status and block.
Words like "deem worthy" I doubt are going to attract much more than a block.
We don't meet anyone that's a) needy (see your status) or b) thinks they are in anyway doing us a favour. (See profile)
And if your going to rant on a status at least try and make it readable.
All that said, I encourage everyone to be themselves. If this really is you, fair play, if you get meets(which you do seem to) then they will be exactly what your after and I wouldn't change a thing.
D"
This  |
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To add to my husbands comments...
Personally I would start again from scratch with the profile and remove the status.
I struggled to read and understand any of it.
However good the message, you need a great profile to entice people to meet you.
Out of interest, are the verifications the result of contacts on here or from parties / clubs?
It may be that you come across a nicer chap in person than is represented in your profile text.
Try to replicate this social side of you on here, if you have had success meeting directly rather than online.
Nita x |
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"
All that said, I encourage everyone to be themselves. If this really is you, fair play, if you get meets(which you do seem to) then they will be exactly what your after and I wouldn't change a thing.
D
This "
Agree, if your profile is your true self then leave it as it is. You will attract exactly what you seek !
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you are getting stuck on the first message how did you manage to get meets op? You may want to change your status as well no ones entitled to a reply
Agree with this. If I read that status I would block you straight away. "
Never seen so many typos in a single status |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know about u guys but I'm always getting stuck on that 1st message to some one, I always read there profile but still can Neva say a thing to break the ice! Need som help guys please!"
Don't take this the wrong way please.
Your spelling and grammar in your status is pretty poor, so I imagine you send the same in messages. You could try that? I have a lot of discomfort reading txtspk and incoherent garble, and I know for a fact many couples and singles do. It's your first impressions that count.
If the couple or woman you are writing to writes well, then you should too. Similarly if they write the same txtspk style then you might be Ok.
I read everyone's profiles too, and you need to work out if you are agar they are looking for, and if you've done what they asked in messages. As a guy, I rarely have more than 2 messages unread when I log in, so it's easy to respond while I'm online. For couples and girls, they can log in and see 100+ messages. So don't think you're the only one not being replied to.
Lastly, given that they usually only have time to read, and not respond, just lay your cards on the table in your first message, and give a face pic if you're ok with that. Tel them what you are into, when you're available, what you like, and be specific about why you are potentially suitable for them, based on having read their profile.
Above all, lower your expectations for a reply, and make yourself sound like someone they would like to reply to by what you have on your profile. They will click on your profile before reading your message to give them an idea of what you will probably write.
Apologies for the spelling mistakes, I'm typing this on my phone, especially since I criticised your writing.
Hope that is helpful. |
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Have your message reflect something about you - your character. But focus on who you're contacting, as they're not wanting to be just any other shag.
Expect most messages not to get a reply. I can guarantee that your status update will lose you replies left, right and centre. And get you lots of blocks.
Many look at the sender's profile, before they read a message. So get that in order.
Just now your profile seems to be for a party organizer, and that's less of a single male profile that some will want. Get it to reveal more about you, that others may find attractive. There's no guarantee.
And keep your messages light, interesting and pertinent to the recipients. |
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By *ez_91 OP Man
over a year ago
derby |
Ok so I have a fractures hand and it's hard for me to type. I only asked for help not to be belittled. Ok the profile has gone, but iv always read people's profiles and spoke about it to them, thanks anyway guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You cant, its up to the woman to reply or not lol."
hey a little tip for you you are in great shape and seem to have a negative attitude maybe your luck would change if you changed your username |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I haven't read the whole thread OP but what I would suggest, in the nicest possible way, is that you do a spell check and write in a language that us ladies can understand. You get me?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You cant, its up to the woman to reply or not lol. hey a little tip for you you are in great shape and seem to have a negative attitude maybe your luck would change if you changed your username "
lol no my username is fine. I do get offers, just all are to far |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you may have gathered my original post was tongue in cheek.
From experience there is no guaranteed method in massaging. All I can suggest is
Be polite
Relate it to the profile and couple
More importantly
I never expect a reply, that way, you are never really disappointed!
I hope you enjoy your time on Fab and I wish you luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know about u guys but I'm always getting stuck on that 1st message to some one, I always read there profile but still can Neva say a thing to break the ice! Need som help guys please!"
type more than hello
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so I have a fractures hand and it's hard for me to type. I only asked for help not to be belittled. Ok the profile has gone, but iv always read people's profiles and spoke about it to them, thanks anyway guys"
type common interests on your message and no capitals as that is seen by many as shouting 2 to 4 lines for message
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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago
folkestone |
"I don't know about u guys but I'm always getting stuck on that 1st message to some one, I always read there profile but still can Neva say a thing to break the ice! Need som help guys please!type more than hello"
Maybe if he used the line of a Lionel Richie song?. 'Hello, is it me your looking for?' Might work. |
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"Ok so I have a fractures hand and it's hard for me to type. I only asked for help not to be belittled. Ok the profile has gone, but iv always read people's profiles and spoke about it to them, thanks anyway guys"
No one has belittled you. You've said you're not getting replies. We've pointed out people read the profile before the message. If the profile is, well, like yours, well...you know the result.
Your profile is awful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even when i do fancy someone, if they mention anything about me having to reply (even to say no thanks) i just delete their message to pis them off more. |
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"Ok so I have a fractures hand and it's hard for me to type. I only asked for help not to be belittled. Ok the profile has gone, but iv always read people's profiles and spoke about it to them, thanks anyway guys
No one has belittled you. You've said you're not getting replies. We've pointed out people read the profile before the message. If the profile is, well, like yours, well...you know the result.
Your profile is awful. "
People "read" profiles, but do they really care?...
It's a crap shoot....
I think the only way is to get out there in the real world first, discover what it is about the "scene" you like, who attracts you, then aim solely for those folks...
There are millions of reasons not to do a thing, but only one to do it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You cant, its up to the woman to reply or not lol. hey a little tip for you you are in great shape and seem to have a negative attitude maybe your luck would change if you changed your username "
Having chatted a lot to the lovely Mr Shag, I can categorically say he does not have a negative attitude, he's a bloody good laugh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so yeah like I said about the spelling and the way i typing is downtown my hand, and ok I get profile was terrible."
Wez, make a positive start by deleting your headline! It's very negative and I'm sure gives the wrong impression |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so yeah like I said about the spelling and the way i typing is downtown my hand, and ok I get profile was terrible.
Wez, make a positive start by deleting your headline! It's very negative and I'm sure gives the wrong impression"
And he never even said please!! |
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"I don't know about u guys but I'm always getting stuck on that 1st message to some one, I always read there profile but still can Neva say a thing to break the ice! Need som help guys please!"
As you profile is only two lines and states that it is under construction , you will attract little interest . Members are not mind readers and will be unable to imagine all your key selling points .
Anyone reading your status will ignore you . Forum rules state that there is no need to reply to messages and in addition there are a large number of spelling mistakes in the status .
Complete your profile and your luck might improve . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looking at your status you have two ways to go.
1) learn to write/speak English
2) write to someone who understands fluent bollocks.....because that is what your status seems to be written in! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not looking for single guys but verified by two?  "
A previous version of his profile said he's involved with parties if I remember rightly so they're probably from them. |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
Agree with a lot of the views said already.
Part of your problem is you have to stand out against the 100's of other guys!
Your Status Line could do with considerable clearing up; it is riddled with spelling errors, the odd text speak word, but overall, it matches your Profile - ill thought out and apart from the ranting, suggests lack of effort.
That puts people off! Hence lack of messages! |
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The status message is now at least shorter but still makes no sense.
Claiming you're "ruff and dominant" probably doesn't go down well as I believe ladies are likely to focus on the "ruff" bit, but leave it be if that's how you want to come across. It's your profile after all. |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
"The status message is now at least shorter but still makes no sense.
Claiming you're "ruff and dominant" probably doesn't go down well as I believe ladies are likely to focus on the "ruff" bit, but leave it be if that's how you want to come across. It's your profile after all."
So...he wants to be "ruff" with old ladys? I think I can see the queue forming round the block as we speak...... |
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"The status message is now at least shorter but still makes no sense.
Claiming you're "ruff and dominant" probably doesn't go down well as I believe ladies are likely to focus on the "ruff" bit, but leave it be if that's how you want to come across. It's your profile after all.
So...he wants to be "ruff" with old ladys? I think I can see the queue forming round the block as we speak...... "
what, round the block of the bingo hall?  |
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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire Moorlands |
"The status message is now at least shorter but still makes no sense.
Claiming you're "ruff and dominant" probably doesn't go down well as I believe ladies are likely to focus on the "ruff" bit, but leave it be if that's how you want to come across. It's your profile after all.
So...he wants to be "ruff" with old ladys? I think I can see the queue forming round the block as we speak......
what, round the block of the bingo hall? "
Yup, that's the one! |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"And.. What you trying to get at
Like a lot of "Straight guys", you seem to be hiding your bi side. "
He could have just met them at a club and chatted
Or he could have been with a woman in a threesome. It doesn't mean he is hiding anything
Having said that, being 'bi' is the least of his problems. I very much doubt that a 'bi' guy will want to meet reading that profile |
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"The status message is now at least shorter but still makes no sense.
Claiming you're "ruff and dominant" probably doesn't go down well as I believe ladies are likely to focus on the "ruff" bit, but leave it be if that's how you want to come across. It's your profile after all.
So...he wants to be "ruff" with old ladys? I think I can see the queue forming round the block as we speak...... "
Ruff with old ladys........ up to the grand old age of 30  |
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"The status message is now at least shorter but still makes no sense.
Claiming you're "ruff and dominant" probably doesn't go down well as I believe ladies are likely to focus on the "ruff" bit, but leave it be if that's how you want to come across. It's your profile after all.
So...he wants to be "ruff" with old ladys? I think I can see the queue forming round the block as we speak......
Ruff with old ladys........ up to the grand old age of 30 "
 ...that made me giggle! |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"The status message is now at least shorter but still makes no sense.
Claiming you're "ruff and dominant" probably doesn't go down well as I believe ladies are likely to focus on the "ruff" bit, but leave it be if that's how you want to come across. It's your profile after all.
So...he wants to be "ruff" with old ladys? I think I can see the queue forming round the block as we speak......
Ruff with old ladys........ up to the grand old age of 30
...that made me giggle!"
I guess that rules me out as ruff old grandmas are not on his 'hit' list |
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"It was a typing mistake, and what's to. With saying I'm dominant? That's just what I'm I'm to"
There are a lot of guys that claim to be Dominant when really they just like rough sex there is a difference between the two |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know about u guys but I'm always getting stuck on that 1st message to some one, I always read there profile but still can Neva say a thing to break the ice! Need som help guys please!"
what I wouldn't do is attach pics of other women sucking your knob like someone did to me yesterday....
and then when I replied no thanks HE said I was heartless for giving that as a reason!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I find your profile incomprehensible. I'm afraid this smacks of laziness and immaturity and I'm afraid a lot of people on here will be put off. Sort out your profile and then concentrate on your first message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And.. What you trying to get at
Like a lot of "Straight guys", you seem to be hiding your bi side.
He could have just met them at a club and chatted
Or he could have been with a woman in a threesome. It doesn't mean he is hiding anything
Having said that, being 'bi' is the least of his problems. I very much doubt that a 'bi' guy will want to meet reading that profile"
there's a bi guy on his friends list, just saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's a wan with a big ass?
You say you want older older women (up to 30 years old!) who have to be confident and dirty minded and want to be dominated. I can't see many women wanting to be dominated by a man that looks as young as you do.
I'd just concentrate on people your age or younger and tidy up all the spelling and grammar mistakes on your profile. |
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By *osieWoman
over a year ago
Wembley |
"And.. What you trying to get at
Like a lot of "Straight guys", you seem to be hiding your bi side.
He could have just met them at a club and chatted
Or he could have been with a woman in a threesome. It doesn't mean he is hiding anything
Having said that, being 'bi' is the least of his problems. I very much doubt that a 'bi' guy will want to meet reading that profile
there's a bi guy on his friends list, just saying. "
You may be right. I just wasn't bothered enough to check anything on that profile; there wasn't much there which I could 'ruffly' translate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From reading the earlier threads I think you've probably made some changes already. The one thing that doesn't read well, to me anyway, is the ruff dominant stuff. Sounds like you would like to experience that kind of thing but being 'ruff' doesn't make me want to meet u. You are, compared to a lot of the site, quite young and look even younger in your pics. Why are u here and not picking up girls like most guys your age? Are u looking for new experiences? Looking for something different? Looking for an older women to teach you? Do u have a dark side and if so what gets you off?
I would rather see a profile that shows what a younger guy is really looking for, not just a 'i like it rough so u will too' profile.
If theres nothing deeper below the surface, the older women, with lots of experience, will not give u a second look.
Good luck.
Miss Nico  |
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