FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > More husbands or wives polygamy ..

More husbands or wives polygamy ..

By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree there's certainly something in it. A communal approach has to have economies of scale both financially and in terms of achieving tasks. Plus the obvious concubine advantages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless .. "
we agree we like the idea aswell

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I agree there's certainly something in it. A communal approach has to have economies of scale both financially and in terms of achieving tasks. Plus the obvious concubine advantages. "

concubine ?

CONCUBINE ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I agree there's certainly something in it. A communal approach has to have economies of scale both financially and in terms of achieving tasks. Plus the obvious concubine advantages.

concubine ?

CONCUBINE ?"

Problem?

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

It's a Win win situations for all parties .. Bonus if bisexual ...lots if shared sex group meets ..

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

I need my own space too much ....

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I need my own space too much .... "

Me too. I'm not cut out for polygamy at all.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

The strong emotional connection of polyamory compared to swinging would be a concern for me.

But hope you can make it work if thats what you want to try

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By *epper123Woman over a year ago

London

"I need my own space too much ....

Me too. I'm not cut out for polygamy at all."

I couldn't imagine anything worse than living in a household that has potential to be a sex fest every night .... like to have some peace at home and just chill, wouldn't want sex in my face all the time

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless .. "

What was included in your list of cons?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless .. "

What would be the logical start for you guys, am extra female or male?

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

I'm sure marriage is not just about sex !! ..it's much more then that .. Wouldn't it be nice going out to restaurants or even cooking a nice meal and eating in .. holding hands dancing together doing things that makes you happy like gardening redecorating the house .. , yes sex is important too ..but I'm sure not 365 a day ..

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

It's something I'm definitely interested in

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

We are open to all options . Couples or even singles who want to share a big house.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"I'm sure marriage is not just about sex !! ..it's much more then that .. Wouldn't it be nice going out to restaurants or even cooking a nice meal and eating in .. holding hands dancing together doing things that makes you happy like gardening redecorating the house .. , yes sex is important too ..but I'm sure not 365 a day ..

Yes if that's the lifestyle you want it would be great. I agree no long term relationship is just about sex.

Good luck with it I'm all for people living how they want rather than how they think they ought to.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We are open to all options . Couples or even singles who want to share a big house. "

Like a commune?

Hit reply+quote and we'll know who you're answering

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *hattyman80Man over a year ago

stockport

Polygamy is something I've always thought was a great idea and if I could be lucky enough to be in that position id love it so I say go for it if you're both equally as keen on the idea

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Does anyone know of any polygamous set ups where everyone is truly equal and the relationships between everyone are as harmonious as possible? I would be happy to be proved wrong but I feel the idea of a harmonious life style in which everyone fitted in and loved each other without fear and jealousy while sharing equally in chores, school runs etc sounds idealistic but unlikely to me. How would income be distributed for instance, what if one person earns loads and another is on benefits?

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

So interesting, but I am not sure about doing it with lots of people .... I mean, do it with your partner, but you can do that with friends, without the sex too ... why polygamy with it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Polygamy seems great, it's just finding the right people

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

"Does anyone know of any polygamous set ups where everyone is truly equal and the relationships between everyone are as harmonious as possible? I would be happy to be proved wrong but I feel the idea of a harmonious life style in which everyone fitted in and loved each other without fear and jealousy while sharing equally in chores, school runs etc sounds idealistic but unlikely to me. How would income be distributed for instance, what if one person earns loads and another is on benefits?"

Have seen a few programmes about it and there are always petty jealousies and dramas when one or more are ousted by others. True intimacy with more than one couple, very unlikely without drama I think. If you all lived together as friends, I think the comment about ... even better if all bisexual sort of got to me ... what's wrong with friendships to do all of the things you mentioned sharing, why does sex have to be involved?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Knowing human nature I think there will always be dominant personalities in any group situation and it would be necessary for other people to be subject to them and that makes me uncomfortable.

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

Knowing human nature I think there will always be dominant personalities in any group situation and it would be necessary for other people to be subject to them and that makes me uncomfortable. "

But thats in every kind of relationship People will try to dominate .. If got the right mix I'm sure it will work .. In the Himalayas most brothers are married to one woman.. She even bears kids to them .. We've know 3 brothers marrying one woman .. They all so happy ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive alway been interested, as I've got older I'm not to sure, being in a relationship with one female is another having too m mmmmm not sure if I could cope, I get ear ache in both ears lol be like in sterro

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

One woman marrying multiple men (usually brothers) is called polyandry, and is used in some parts of the Himalayas to stop farm land being split as it is passed from one generation to the next.

Are you guys looking for extra men, women or couples?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Knowing human nature I think there will always be dominant personalities in any group situation and it would be necessary for other people to be subject to them and that makes me uncomfortable.

You're right that does apply to all relationships. I think it's fair to say that we aren't in the Himalayas so different circumstances apply and they're not marrying three brothers because they believe it's a great way to run relationships but to avoid land being split up.

As I said before I think everyone should be able to live in the type of relationship most suited to them all other things being equal. I'm just interested in how things would work.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless .. "

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I don't thing the thread was entirely about sex either, also about decorating, sharing household chores and car pool ... not much use in the Himalayas and not why they do it, as been pointed out. I still can't get to the bottom of how different this would be from sharing things like decorating chores and car pool with good friends, apart from the sex ... and the expectations of the emotional ties. Sounds like a weird variation if footballers wives to me ... I like to be on my own or with a partner who totally respects me and I respect them .. no group dynamics and focus on the kids, not who is in bed with who this evening.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul "

Ill take your word for it. Its not about apetite though. Ifs about control. First your a swinger with all the advantages male partners have getting to fuck because of their female partners. Then its going to the next step and living with an extra woman or two. Brilliant so far. Sounds very teenage masturbatory fantasy to me

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

For us its entirely different and I think you are assuming all the women are just having the wool pulled very their eyes and have no sexual choices or appetite ... my partner wants me to play with other men, I have no inclination unless he is playing with the man first. He is not particularly interested in playing with other women, and if he does, which is very rare, it is never penetrative. I think most men are more grown up than this and if not, the women can see this ... how does the cuckold dynamic fit into your theory? We may be different because we are a bi couple ... but certainly nothing like this would ever take over our real life.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

I think the ideal set up is several people of various genders living in emotional and sexual harmony enjoying domestic bliss. I'm not an ideal candidate for this kind of relationship and like you I think it requires a certain hierarchy to exist but I could be wrong. I don't know anyone who lives full time with multiple partners either so my opinion can only be based on how I would feel about it.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

Well thats the difference between polyamory and swinging isn't it.

Just because polyandry was mentioned in one specific cotext doesn't mean that it doesn't happen elsewhere, and anyway it is just one of multiple forms of polyamory.

Tristan Taormino looks at various forms of open relationships in her book Opening Up. These include partnered non-monogamy, swinging, polyamory, solo polyamory, and polyfidelity.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Ok. So you want another man to live with you then and not a woman. Sorry I assumed it was an extra woman . Or am I assuming too much again. Any man who has more than one partner is living a fantasy.

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Ok. So you want another man to live with you then and not a woman. Sorry I assumed it was an extra woman . Or am I assuming too much again. Any man who has more than one partner is living a fantasy."

I would not want anyone else to live with us. We already have us two and five teenagers ... that's enough drama. Just to clarify, those are our kids and nothing sexual involved with them. Our relationship started out on here, and we are in tune sexually ... but it has developed because of everything else we share, laughs, shopping, tears, drama, fun, debates, discussion, chats ... decorating, chores, no car pool as the kids are too old ... but the point is, the great sex comes along with and as part of that. Both of use were swinging a fair while as singles before and still have our moments but nothing we have apart is in the same realm as what we have together. My fantasy would not be living with two men ... too much cleaning of the toilet seat. My fantasy is being with my long term partner with whom I can indulge my deepest desires as can he .... and yes, that does include bareback sex, with him.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

Ok. So you want another man to live with you then and not a woman. Sorry I assumed it was an extra woman . Or am I assuming too much again. Any man who has more than one partner is living a fantasy."

To a lot of people even just swinging is purely a fantasy.

I respect anyone who is living the relationship style that they have chosen sucessfully and happily, it doesnt matter if that is monogamous, poly, swinger etc.

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

Ok. So you want another man to live with you then and not a woman. Sorry I assumed it was an extra woman . Or am I assuming too much again. Any man who has more than one partner is living a fantasy.

To a lot of people even just swinging is purely a fantasy.

I respect anyone who is living the relationship style that they have chosen sucessfully and happily, it doesnt matter if that is monogamous, poly, swinger etc. "

I was describing my ultimate fantasy and loving the life I have ... I don't need anyone else to share it or do the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Ok. So you want another man to live with you then and not a woman. Sorry I assumed it was an extra woman . Or am I assuming too much again. Any man who has more than one partner is living a fantasy."

Right so most of Saudi Arabia is living a fantasy?

The OP already said they were considering males, females or couples. I don't think they'd struggle to get offers from all 3.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Ok. So you want another man to live with you then and not a woman. Sorry I assumed it was an extra woman . Or am I assuming too much again. Any man who has more than one partner is living a fantasy.

Right so most of Saudi Arabia is living a fantasy?

The OP already said they were considering males, females or couples. I don't think they'd struggle to get offers from all 3. "

??yes the whole od saudi arabia, amongst other bizarre behaviour, is clearly living a totally make dominated mysoginistic ugly fantasy. I think that " country" is an example of what Im talkinf about ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/15 18:39:29]

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

In fact he wants me to have a man .. I want a couple .. All men are not like you ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Ok. So you want another man to live with you then and not a woman. Sorry I assumed it was an extra woman . Or am I assuming too much again. Any man who has more than one partner is living a fantasy.

Right so most of Saudi Arabia is living a fantasy?

The OP already said they were considering males, females or couples. I don't think they'd struggle to get offers from all 3.

Right well I'm not going to hijack the OP's thread with a side issue about Saudi Arabia but you dont sound like much of an expert and I think that making sweeping generalisations about another culture is always dodgy ground.

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Thanks Chris .. You know us well ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul "

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Again you well off the mark .. Have you read our profile and saw the verification in the first place then jumping to conclusion ....It's mostly males we meet .. So stop judging .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Again you well off the mark .. Have you read our profile and saw the verification in the first place then jumping to conclusion ....It's mostly males we meet .. So stop judging ."

I don't think this guy understands that you can actually have feelings for more than one person at once. It's not all about sex.

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endle

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Again you well off the mark .. Have you read our profile and saw the verification in the first place then jumping to conclusion ....It's mostly males we meet .. So stop judging .

I don't think this guy understands that you can actually have feelings for more than one person at once. It's not all about sex. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a relationship in my late twenties with two men . lived together did everything together for 7 months . unfortunately both in navy on same boat but different crews.came unstuck when one was deployed and couldn't cope with other being alone with me so i finished it all . really enjoyed and still keep in touch as friends but don't know if I could do it again .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Im assuming your husband wants a woman extra ofcourse. Just like 3soms where guys always want another woman. Sounds like the typical male masturbation fantasy. Dom man with 2 sub women. How original

I think that assumption is quite wide of the mark! Its Neha with the insatiable appetite, not Rahul

Again you well off the mark .. Have you read our profile and saw the verification in the first place then jumping to conclusion ....It's mostly males we meet .. So stop judging ."

Ok so its another male you want to share your ved...sorry I meant household chores

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its illegal in the uk i think.

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

"I had a relationship in my late twenties with two men . lived together did everything together for 7 months . unfortunately both in navy on same boat but different crews.came unstuck when one was deployed and couldn't cope with other being alone with me so i finished it all . really enjoyed and still keep in touch as friends but don't know if I could do it again ."

We don't like good byes . Hope you are ok now ..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Perfectly fine thanks . it was nearly 20 years ago. It was nearly perfect but not quite . like I said we still keep in touch . it was a very happy time of my life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its illegal in the uk i think. "

Only marriage to multiple people is illegal. The government don't come round houses and inspect sleeping arrangements - yet

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"Its illegal in the uk i think. "

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/15 20:33:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am in a poly relationship.

Very happy no jealousy. Yes ups and downs but just normal relationship ones.

I consider that i have two wives.

Legally only one but we have all made vows to each other and they are just as real as our marriage vows.

And before anyone asks. They know about my profile on here and it's mainly for keeping in touch with old friends

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed."

Omg so funny to see women singing the praises of male sexual fantasies. Women actually thinking them servicing a man at his convenience is somehow an attractive way yo be. Cant help but be amused. Make fantasies rule here ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

The type of comment I would expect from some one who doesn't understand.

Poly has nothing to do with swinging. They are separate.

Have two wives has many downs as well as ups lol.

They can 'gang up on you'!!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

Do they? I think you do have a point. I do see many women trying to conform to what they think men want but I know loads who don't, they own their sexuality and try to meet men who want them to express it and actively enjoy that.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It might not be the kind of relationship that you want, and thats fine, but trying to dismiss other peoples choices is very sex negative. Fab should be a sex positive place where people can explore their sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

I have to disagree with you on this one. You see a lot more female sexual empowerment on Fab than you see in wider society in general.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

I have to disagree with you on this one. You see a lot more female sexual empowerment on Fab than you see in wider society in general. "

I don't, but possibly I know different types of people than you

and I see many, many women on here who try to conform to some stereotypical male fantasy woman.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

I have to disagree with you on this one. You see a lot more female sexual empowerment on Fab than you see in wider society in general.

I don't, but possibly I know different types of people than you

and I see many, many women on here who try to conform to some stereotypical male fantasy woman."

Well said. I never thought Id hear that on this site.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand."

You can think what you want. I understand very well the dynamics of sex. Yes this polygamy is sex dressed up to make it sound pallatable to some who hold equally male dominant fantasy role views. You will be told who to fuck and what tovwesr next.

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread."

So Holborn is your peference for bareback gangbangs a male dominant fantasy or a female dominant fantasy?

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

I have to disagree with you on this one. You see a lot more female sexual empowerment on Fab than you see in wider society in general.

I don't, but possibly I know different types of people than you

and I see many, many women on here who try to conform to some stereotypical male fantasy woman."

Well said because I see this too. This is Mrs talking here. I have a single fem profile and on it meet women alone, without my man. I don't perform for or indulge any many. My man is bi, so he has fantasies about other men. I don't dress to impress anyone. I don't conform. I noticed this trend when I was told to shush by women when I was voicing an opinion on another thread ... I can be in a couple and still have my own views, but that shush made me feel very sad, and also annoyed that a women could put herself in that position. I am not talking about during the sexual act, but telling someone that here in the forums is an insult. It was a while ago, but I saw a different side then ..., next point coming Jo.

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread.

So Holborn is your peference for bareback gangbangs a male dominant fantasy or a female dominant fantasy?"

If you read the posts, there is always something about women really enjoying this, even though those who are responding to it are saying, actually we don't, or many of us don't, or some of us dont. How do you know if your fantasy is created and fed by another person or by yourself and your gender and sexuality? Don't for a minute believe all women have this fantasy ... in my opinion it is a male dominant fantasy ... we are still allowed to have an opinion?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand.

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread."

If you want to start your own thread about your views on male dominant fantasies or saudi arabia that's cool - go right ahead. But the OP asked for advice and nothing about your tone or posts suggests you're trying to help the OP.

That's how you troll.

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand.

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread.

That's how you troll. "

I have done it for him because I am intrigued by it, so lets post there about it ... if you don't mind. Hope that helps, op?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand.

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread.

That's how you troll. "

Sorry. Im not trolling. Im commenting on a one sided thread when I joined in. You enjoy your life

and I hope you both get another spouce to brighten uour bedroom. All the best to you and your potential family.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand.

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread.

That's how you troll. "

To be fair the op hasn't asked for advice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand.

I could accuse you of trolling with such a patently absurd and demeaning thread.

That's how you troll.

To be fair the op hasn't asked for advice."

Good point, well made

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

Well we seem to have gone way off topic here. The point that I want to put across is the original post is by a woman, describing the relationship style she would like to have in the future. Then a man has come along and essentially said, "you don't want that, that is a man's fantasy, you can't really want that as a woman".

I don't like to see anyone denying other peoples fantasies and saying they are wrong to have them. I don't expect everyone to share the same fantasies, but being Sex Positive is all about respecting people's right to have fantasies and pursue what makes them sexually fulfilled. If you don't respect other peoples right to have fantasies and try to fulfil them, then don't expect anyone to support you when someone tries to take your rights away to live your life as you see fit.

I find it especially negative and misogynistic when it is a man, trying to deny or belittle a woman's fantasy.

I don't believe that there are certain acts that are "male fantasies" and others that are "female fantasies" and that women shouldn't engage in the "male fantasy scenarios" and presumably men shouldn't engage in "female fantasy scenarios"

So I support Neha's (OP) right to pursue a poly relationship, and Holborn's right to have his bareback gang bangs.

Can we all try to be a bit more Sex Positive?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well we seem to have gone way off topic here. The point that I want to put across is the original post is by a woman, describing the relationship style she would like to have in the future. Then a man has come along and essentially said, "you don't want that, that is a man's fantasy, you can't really want that as a woman".

I find it especially negative and misogynistic when it is a man, trying to deny or belittle a woman's fantasy.

So I support Neha's (OP) right to pursue a poly relationship, and Holborn's right to have his bareback gang bangs.

Can we all try to be a bit more Sex Positive?"

Sorry but I didnt understand a word of that

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

She said you were mansplaining

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By *esi tardka OP Couple over a year ago

acton

I find it especially negative and misogynistic when it is a man, trying to deny or belittle a woman's fantasy.

So I support Neha's (OP) right to pursue a poly relationship, and Holborn's right to have his bareback gang bangs.

Can we all try to be a bit more Sex Positive?"

Well said Chris ....

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By *mallteaserWoman over a year ago

Central

Something I'd be interested in xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry but I didnt understand a word of that"

Of course you don't. And of course you won't bother learning either. You're just here to pretend to care about women 'trapped in a male dominant fantasy' instead of listening to what actual women think.

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By *mallteaserWoman over a year ago

Central

"Sorry but I didnt understand a word of that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey Holborn, pop quiz - is a bareback gangbang more or less demeaning than a couple consensually adding an additional romantic and sexual partner into their lives?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless .. "

Polyamory. Polygamy is illegal in this country because you cannot be married to more than one person.

Don't get another partner because it's a cheap way to get a nanny and a cleaner, get another partner because you genuinely want to be emotionally involved with more than one person.

And if you're sharing parenting - expect to be shunned by your friends and watched by the school for abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, mine are that way. I feel the same way (roughly) for my partners and close friends. There is no jealousy. None of us share incomes, earning doesn't matter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well.... these women arent exactly liberated. No femminists here. You actually sound like you have been brainwashed by spindly ordinary guys who have filled your heads with self serving sexual " communal loving" nonsense. Look at the guys you are helping to serve sexually and wonder if they could get laid in jormal life. They werenprobably virgins untill they met one or other of you. Get a life. Its ok to gave a go at me, Im not the one being fucked by a creep.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have been contemplating about getting into the polygamy lifestyle .

Been reading a lot lately .,Measured the pros and cons and found it's has more rewarding .. Like shared responsibilities of parenting ,house chores .. School drops the list is endless ..

Polyamory. Polygamy is illegal in this country because you cannot be married to more than one person.

Don't get another partner because it's a cheap way to get a nanny and a cleaner, get another partner because you genuinely want to be emotionally involved with more than one person.

And if you're sharing parenting - expect to be shunned by your friends and watched by the school for abuse."

Quite right too. How many mummies turn up to pick up their " husbands" kids. Too bizarre to be funny

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm currently struggling to understand why "polygamy, "polyandry" etc are all assumed to be a three-way triangle...

I don't think that I could exist within that sort of relationship - it would strangle me...

But I have been in a wonderfully liberating relationship with another women, who had a man as a second lover, though he had no connection with me.

Why is there no description or discussion of "V"-shaped relationships - rather than triangular...?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed."

The original post says polygamy not polyamory. Although i did have to look polyamory up. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The lifestyle sounds pretty utopian and although some do make it work surely its always going to come down to who the more dominant characters in the relationship are and will the others follow them? Please correct if wrong as bar programmes have seen on TV know little about it other than to realise that like a marriage sex has only a small involvement in what makes it great so to even be discussing it as a sexual fantasy is completely wide of the mark.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The lifestyle sounds pretty utopian and although some do make it work surely its always going to come down to who the more dominant characters in the relationship are and will the others follow them? Please correct if wrong as bar programmes have seen on TV know little about it other than to realise that like a marriage sex has only a small involvement in what makes it great so to even be discussing it as a sexual fantasy is completely wide of the mark."

Fair comment. The fact remains though that people very into sex, this is a sex site after all, are trying to defend a type of " relationship" that will ultimately follow the dybamics of the people in it. In other words sex will be the overriding consideration. I would be interested in sering pics of these men who persuade these gullible women to worship them. I wonder what they look like ??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When people get into a relationship they don't do so because their thinking this person is the best I've ever had in bed in fact sex used to come much later into it. They decided on the basis they have common interests, make each other happy, are physically, emotionally and mentally attracted to each other. My guess is in a true polygamy/amory relationship this is the same but with another person involved. Just because this is a site where people can meet others for sex can people not have a conversation without having to discuss sex?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When people get into a relationship they don't do so because their thinking this person is the best I've ever had in bed in fact sex used to come much later into it. They decided on the basis they have common interests, make each other happy, are physically, emotionally and mentally attracted to each other. My guess is in a true polygamy/amory relationship this is the same but with another person involved. Just because this is a site where people can meet others for sex can people not have a conversation without having to discuss sex? "

Yes ofcourse people can talk about anything. Ifs just weird to bring subjects not associated with sex onto a swingerd sex site thats all. I somehow think these polygimists protest too much and sex is really what its all about - from their share males pov anyway

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

It's not weird at all. Go look at all the other threads that have absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Of course, if that's all you're interested in, then you only need to read the ones on sex and can ignore the others, and let everyone else get on with using the site as they choose.

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By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"...How would income be distributed for instance, what if one person earns loads and another is on benefits?"

What happens when a restaurant owner marries a waitress?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yes ofcourse people can talk about anything. Ifs just weird to bring subjects not associated with sex onto a swingerd sex site thats all. I somehow think these polygimists protest too much and sex is really what its all about - from their share males pov anyway"

Considering there are posts in the lounge especially but others dotted about the forums that don't contain a drop of sex that think you need to change your perception of the people who use the forums and also to stop thinking all men think like you do as does seem to be that you have an unhealthy obession with thinking about sex and viewing women as objects with no free thought of their own. Women in these types of relationship aren't always subjugated to dominant males or men who just think 'Mmm so when is it my night with you again' and we've moved on a lot since the victorian era.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Really ??

So sex isnt the main reason you all share a bed - together or on different nights.

Whatever you say about this and putting me down doesnt alter the women servicing a man pit. Thats what you do however you (un)dress it ip to look.

Im actually supporting women who arent so easily led to bed by a man whos afraid to put his pic up on the site. I hope you mive on from this nonsense and hopefully meet a real man and not a sex obsessed control freak. Good luck

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By *aeBabeWoman over a year ago

London

Getting back to the original post:

OP if you have been able to weigh the pros and cons and considered the shared commitments and equal importance of an additional person(s) to your dynamic relationship then by all means do what makes you happy. An additional partner may not even be a swinger themselves.

If there are disputes or disagreements between either of you and your new partner you have the other has to remain neutral and not side with the original partner over the new one. Sex is just a benefit of this kind relationship. Emotional maturity, respect and honesty are definitely important for this to work.

Good luck! Xx

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

So your opinion is the correct one and everyone else is wrong?

One of the things I love about the forum, and fab, is that I learn things. I don't know everything, nor do you. And I would never dream of speaking on (and sneering at) a subject that I had no experience in to people that do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Really ??

So sex isnt the main reason you all share a bed - together or on different nights.

Whatever you say about this and putting me down doesnt alter the women servicing a man pit. Thats what you do however you (un)dress it ip to look.

I share a bed as I love that person and can hold and cuddle upto them and be reassured much in the same way kids cuddle teddy bears. A word of advice stop making assumptions as your not doing too well especially seeing you are talking to the male half here. I wonder if you give the same consideration to the women involved in the bareback gangbangs you like to take part in?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Really ??

So sex isnt the main reason you all share a bed - together or on different nights.

Whatever you say about this and putting me down doesnt alter the women servicing a man pit. Thats what you do however you (un)dress it ip to look.

I find this so funny!

I showed this to the ladies and after they had stopped laughing, their comments were not to complimentary.

I am enjoying life. All THREE of us are. Sex is a very small part of what we have. No one is 'brainwashed'.

Our families know and are happy.

If you can't see that it can happen without some 'alterior motive', then nothing I say will change that.

What does it matter what I look like? Do I have to be an Addonis or look like something thats crawled out from under a rock?

Sorry no. Just a PLAIN ordinary guy who loves more then one lady and they love me.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"Getting back to the original post:

Good luck! Xx"

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"I'm currently struggling to understand why "polygamy, "polyandry" etc are all assumed to be a three-way triangle...

I don't think that I could exist within that sort of relationship - it would strangle me...

But I have been in a wonderfully liberating relationship with another women, who had a man as a second lover, though he had no connection with me.

Why is there no description or discussion of "V"-shaped relationships - rather than triangular...?

For some people v relationships work wonderfully too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/08/15 10:17:05]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hopefully everyone can get back to discussing the OP as am genuinely interested in seeing if they can work and how people can avoid emotions from getting in the way to making them successful.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"Hopefully everyone can get back to discussing the OP as am genuinely interested in seeing if they can work and how people can avoid emotions from getting in the way to making them successful."

Me too. C is always encouraging me to get a boyfriend but it would need to be a poly relationship as he's not going anywhere

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hopefully everyone can get back to discussing the OP as am genuinely interested in seeing if they can work and how people can avoid emotions from getting in the way to making them successful.

Me too. C is always encouraging me to get a boyfriend but it would need to be a poly relationship as he's not going anywhere "

Having just read your profile quite an interesting and complex situation if you guys did considering the way things are between you two.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

Yeah, possibly. It may not work but I'd be willing to try with the right people

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Holborn you obviously don't understand this kind of relationship. Either that or you are just deliberately trolling.

It's both, he's trolling because he doesn't understand."

Why are people automatically labelled trolls if they don't agree with the masses?!!

Living with multiple partners seems like hell on earth to me. I'm struggling living with one in "my" space.

Genuine admiration to those who can make it work.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"...How would income be distributed for instance, what if one person earns loads and another is on benefits?

What happens when a restaurant owner marries a waitress?

Ideally it wouldn't matter. But that's what I feel were dealing with here, ideals.

On one side we have people saying "poliamory is great" and on the other "no it isn't".

Not many are saying that problems can occur in any type of relationship or acknowledging that abuse of power is possible in any type of relationship let alone how it would be dealt with. No actual discussion of the nitty gritty is taking place so we all move forward with no further knowledge of how a polyamorous relationship might work apart from your kids get picked up from school.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Its illegal in the uk i think.

Polyamory isnt illegal, polygamy is the legal term relating to multiple marriages, which isnt allowed.

Male fantasies rule - I meant

I have to disagree with you on this one. You see a lot more female sexual empowerment on Fab than you see in wider society in general.

I don't, but possibly I know different types of people than you

and I see many, many women on here who try to conform to some stereotypical male fantasy woman."

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have spoken to Ginger before about her having another lover but tbh not sure if I could stop my emotions getting in the way and she's said that she doesn't really want any one else to provide the emotional side of things.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Politics, football, religion, kids, jobs, pets etc are all discussed and sex isn't mentioned, that's the beauty of the lounge so not getting your point.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 30/08/15 10:57:45]

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

A couple of points....having a different opinion is not trolling.

Critiquing anothers profile is not allowed on the forum unless it is asked for / relevant.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

To the OP..I really don't think I could do that even if there might be more help with jobs around the house and an extra cock on tap.

I think it is because I am a selfish person at home and like my space now and then.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Literally any other relationship ever follows the dynamics of its participants.

I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It works very well. I don't believe in restricting my partners' love and sex lives because they're not my property and I want them to be happy.

And I don't think that was trolling because of differ opinions, I think it was trolling because he is telling women that their experiences and preferences are wrong until the guise of caring for their autonomy.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 30/08/15 14:24:00]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I agree there's certainly something in it. A communal approach has to have economies of scale both financially and in terms of achieving tasks. Plus the obvious concubine advantages.

concubine ?

CONCUBINE ?

Problem?"

I wouldn't have thought any modern thinking multi partner relationships would consider one of the partners a concubine.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well.... these women arent exactly liberated. No femminists here. You actually sound like you have been brainwashed by spindly ordinary guys who have filled your heads with self serving sexual " communal loving" nonsense. Look at the guys you are helping to serve sexually and wonder if they could get laid in jormal life. They werenprobably virgins untill they met one or other of you. Get a life. Its ok to gave a go at me, Im not the one being fucked by a creep."

I'm very liberated and very feminist. All of my partners are very liberated and very feminist too. They certainly weren't Virgins. They're also not creeps.

Don't slag my partners off again. Ever.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Literally any other relationship ever follows the dynamics of its participants.

I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It works very well. I don't believe in restricting my partners' love and sex lives because they're not my property and I want them to be happy."

See your last sentence is why my interest in polyamory as although a slightly different dynamic in a cuckold relationship I feel the same. Its the whole 'if you love someone set them free' ethos which although for me wouldn't pursue understand that one day down the line we/she might meet someone where becomes more then just sex. Hope obviously by then that we could be in the right place that all 3 of us could deal with such a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well, we've been going for two years now and I honestly don't think we've encountered anything that doesn't happen in a two-people monogamous relationship. We argue over who is doing the dishes, not about who is the 'dominant' one in our group. The relationship is built on trust and, most importantly, communication.

We grow up I'm a society that tells us that monogamous relationships are the norm, that if your partner likes someone else it means they no longer like you, that looking outside of the relationship is just cheating. It can be difficult to change those ways of thinking, but I can honestly say that it is well worth it. Good luck if you go for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks for sharing your experiences as admitted before am a little ignorant to what goes on within such a relationship but with an open mind willing to learn more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No problem. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship, a lot less exciting than people might think! There's nothing sordid about it, we just love one another.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No problem. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship, a lot less exciting than people might think! There's nothing sordid about it, we just love one another. "

Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner..."

I think the same when people say 'it'll all end in tears'. Er, how is that different to any other relationship? Ha.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner...

I think the same when people say 'it'll all end in tears'. Er, how is that different to any other relationship? Ha."

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No problem. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship, a lot less exciting than people might think! There's nothing sordid about it, we just love one another.

Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner..."

I'm interested, is it bad to want to educate yourself about something you don't know much about?

I get the same feeling with this that we did when we tried asking people about BDSM, the assumption was made that you wouldn't or couldn't understand unless you were involved but very few people (I don't include present company in that) were willing to just answer questions.

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By *awandOrderCouple over a year ago

SW London

"No problem. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship, a lot less exciting than people might think! There's nothing sordid about it, we just love one another.

Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner...

I'm interested, is it bad to want to educate yourself about something you don't know much about?

I have never felt the need for a wall planner in any relationship I have, and that includes having five teenagers at home with us ... why do you have to be better? I also like asking the questions. People often have assumptions about the 'admin' aspects. We got comments and living the 'bisexual lifestyle' because we are both bi ... I still haven't figured out what that is yet ....

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No problem. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship, a lot less exciting than people might think! There's nothing sordid about it, we just love one another.

Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner...

I'm interested, is it bad to want to educate yourself about something you don't know much about?

We have a diary by the phone, I think its buried under a pile of letters waiting for attention open at May

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel like I've been fairly open about answering questions so far, it doesn't really bother me. We were just pointing out that the questions people ask tend to have the same answer: 'like any other relationship I guess'. Maybe people think a poly relationship is like a 24/7 swinging club, but the reality is, you know, taking turns to cook the dinner and watching Game of Thrones!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No problem. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship, a lot less exciting than people might think! There's nothing sordid about it, we just love one another.

Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner...

I'm interested, is it bad to want to educate yourself about something you don't know much about?

You just have to be really good at juggling schedules. I'll often only be free one weekend a month, and so will my beau, so we have to plan several months in advance when we'll see each other so that we can get our schedules to collide.

I mean - for example - I generally know what both my partner I live with is doing, what my partner who I don't live with is doing, what his two partners are roughly doing, and what my girlfriend is doing on any given weekend. When you live with people that's far, far easier to keep track of.

I guess the skill is actually 'negotiating with a wall planner', you get to be really good at communicating and negotiating.

I'm *always* happy to answer any questions I can about polyamory, relationship anarchy, and BDSM. I'm very honest and open about my lifestyle because I think that education is the key to being able to make informed lifestyle choices.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"No problem. It's pretty much the same as any other relationship, a lot less exciting than people might think! There's nothing sordid about it, we just love one another.

Yeah, people are always interested in the "admin" of polyamory. The reality is that it's no different to any other relationship. You just need to be better at using a wall planner...

I'm interested, is it bad to want to educate yourself about something you don't know much about?

I guess the skill is actually 'negotiating with a wall planner', you get to be really good at communicating and negotiating.

Yep! That's why I said I don't include present company.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

Thanks to all who've shared their experiences, really giving me a better understanding

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

I agree, differences of opinions is one thing, repeatedly saying that women are wrong for describing their preferences is another.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can see many advantages of a poly relationship where you live together

Another woman - double blowjobs

Another guy - someone to play on the play station with

In all seriousness I don't think I could work with a poly relationship. I've a lot of respect and admiration for those who do but it's definitely not for me.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

If he wants to think it is wrong he is allowed to say so without people attacking for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If he wants to think it is wrong he is allowed to say so without people attacking for it."

Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it. If "I'm not the one getting fucked by a creep" isn't trolling then I don't know what is.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Back to the OP.

A question....was there much reading up on the subject? It sounds like it is just normal life with an extra person in the mix, so I am not sure what reading up there would be to look for.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If he wants to think it is wrong he is allowed to say so without people attacking for it."

It's ok to say that my lifestyle isn't for you.

It's not ok to say my partners are creeps who have brainwashed me into performing for their chauvinistic make fantasies.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I am sure you can ignore it as he doesn't know your partners.

Now as I say...back to the OP please.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am sure you can ignore it as he doesn't know your partners.

Now as I say...back to the OP please."

No, if someone is going to make uninformed dickish statements about my partners, myself, and my lifestyle then I'm going to challenge that.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"Back to the OP.

A question....was there much reading up on the subject? It sounds like it is just normal life with an extra person in the mix, so I am not sure what reading up there would be to look for."

Books like Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships by Tristan Taormino is a good place to start.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I am sure you can ignore it as he doesn't know your partners.

Now as I say...back to the OP please.

No, if someone is going to make uninformed dickish statements about my partners, myself, and my lifestyle then I'm going to challenge that. "

Which you did.

Now lets het back to the OP

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Back to the OP.

A question....was there much reading up on the subject? It sounds like it is just normal life with an extra person in the mix, so I am not sure what reading up there would be to look for.

Books like Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships by Tristan Taormino is a good place to start. "

So there is more to it than just an extra person in the mix?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am sure you can ignore it as he doesn't know your partners.

Now as I say...back to the OP please.

No, if someone is going to make uninformed dickish statements about my partners, myself, and my lifestyle then I'm going to challenge that. "

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I want to live in a polyamory triad.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

"Back to the OP.

A question....was there much reading up on the subject? It sounds like it is just normal life with an extra person in the mix, so I am not sure what reading up there would be to look for.

Books like Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships by Tristan Taormino is a good place to start.

So there is more to it than just an extra person in the mix?"

Yes, lots to think about. Are adding one person or a couple? Will you all be in a sexual relationship with each other or just some of you? Are you going to live together? Will you be financially independent or pool your resources? Will the extra person/s have additional relationships outside of this new one? How much will you explain to friends, family, co-workers? At what point do you explain to the kids? Etc etc.

Im sure people with more experience with me can add a lot more considerations.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Me and my partner identify as polyamorous and have actually been in a committed relationship with another couple for a year and a half before, ok so it's kind of short term but also shows that with a good level of honesty and communication it is possible to maintain a loving relationship with multiple partners, although we didn't live together pretty much all of our spare time was spent together when possible.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Back to the OP.

A question....was there much reading up on the subject? It sounds like it is just normal life with an extra person in the mix, so I am not sure what reading up there would be to look for.

Books like Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships by Tristan Taormino is a good place to start.

So there is more to it than just an extra person in the mix?

Im sure people with more experience with me can add a lot more considerations. "

I sort of got all that, but didn't realise that would entail reading up on the subject , more like using your own common sense to the pros and cons.

Having said that, that book had good reviews from people who were already in a 3way/4way relationship

I just imagine the queue to the bathroom, having two sheds for the men to go to or will they share the one etc

I am guessing it just becomes the norm like the couple who explained it said ( think it was Swan )just that there is more people in the house.

There has to be pro's and con's just like any relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If he wants to think it is wrong he is allowed to say so without people attacking for it.

It's ok to say that my lifestyle isn't for you.

It's not ok to say my partners are creeps who have brainwashed me into performing for their chauvinistic make fantasies."

This really sums up the problem with that guy. Generalising never works. For example, what we are looking for is probably the ultimate male fantasy yet it is what we both want at the moment. If this happens to align with some male chauvinistic fantasy fine, but that isn't what it actually is for us. If someone wants to label our situation and all the other who have posted as it out of some narrow mindedness without even wanting to listen to people that is trolling.

The dynamics of any relationship will depend on who is in it. This will lead to different wants and needs. This will be true for a poly relationship as well but it will just be more complex. Throw sex in to the mix and you can have a very tough time if not everyone is on the same page. However, you'd hope that people who are in a poly relationship see it in a different way than most of the people who are saying it is a bad idea because they can't wrap their heads around it.

To op, the only way you are going to know if it is for you is to try it out. Yes it may well end in tears but so will most relationships anyway.

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By *exsibonCouple over a year ago

Winchester and Brussels

I'm very liberated and very feminist. All of my partners are very liberated and very feminist too. They certainly weren't Virgins. They're also not creeps.

Don't slag my partners off again. Ever."

Completely agree. We are polyamorous and are rather surprised at some of the blinkered thinking being displayed here. We could throw stones but prefer not to.

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