FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Playing Alone. . . .sometimes

Playing Alone. . . .sometimes

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

We've been talking ALOT lately, As our profile says our free time is pretty limited,and unpredictable,his job making it so.The discussions have been over me (her) playing occasionally alone,sending the odd pic to his mobile,so he knows what I'm upto. . Not a running commentary just the one pic would suffice..This IS his idea,but I'm a little concerned it could ruin things,if it's not a genuine suggestion.. Advice please,

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By *edangel_2013Woman over a year ago

southend

If it is not a genuine suggestion, then yes, it will ruin things. But only you 2 know the answer as to whether it is or not.

People play alone, but I imagine they set rules and boundaries first.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I play alone but that is not because of time restrictions, it is something that we wanted to try. My husband gets his thrill from me doing it. He never plays though, we started with mmf threesomes so our wants could be totally different from yours. Our big thing is talking... Cannot discuss dos and donts enough!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm married and have a profile with my husband as well. We play alone and seperately and have been for about 3 years. We both enjoy the other person going out and meeting, and talk about it when we get back. It hasn't ruined anything for either of us, our marriage is very strong and it's just fun. Set out some guidelines, try it, and if it doesn't work you don't need to do it again.

Popsicle x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's something we've talked about and experimented a bit with but its not for us. We've realised swinging is something we enjoy with each other.

I (female) have no interest in sex with other guys on my own, only with us both together, i love seeing my partner turned on by what I'm doing and with others. If I met on my own I wouldn't get that, it'd just be sex and would feel unemotional, which isn't for me.

I know others love it though, I think it's something you have to work out together, no one else can tell you if it will work for you or not.

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By *andb69Couple over a year ago

leeds

Unless you are both absolutely certain then don't do it. Try separate rooms first, or playing separately at a party or in a club .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a hard one, I've been in your shoes and it ended badly! I know it works for some couples and fair play to them. You need to talk, set rules and boundaries, also think about it the other way round.....how would you feel if he met without you! Good luck I hope you work it out!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What are you concerned it will ruin?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think many do play away with or without permission. All it takes is to delete the history

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Unless you are both absolutely certain then don't do it. Try separate rooms first, or playing separately at a party or in a club ."

We did separate before separate rooms at a club. Both worked out great

Communication is key, keep everything out in the open and voice any concerns, most of all have fun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I play alone and my husband loves it as much as I do. You have to be completely honest with each other and yourself to make it work. No hiding anything. It can be a brilliant way to play but can also cause problems if one party isn't completely sure.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm aware this decision is ours to make,and ours only. Guess I was just looking for others take on it..and how it's been handled. We've been together for over 20years,and have dipped in and out of the scene for the last 8+. But I'm struggling to get my head round this one . . X

Her

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What are you concerned it will ruin?"

That's just it . .I've no idea, just finding myself going round in circles . .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'If you love something, set it free'

'If it comes back to you, it's meant to be'

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"'If you love something, set it free'

'If it comes back to you, it's meant to be'

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By *eovilcouple76Couple over a year ago

yeovil

We recently started doing this. Sorting cover out at home for meets is a nightmare so hubby said for me to go out and meet alone. Tried it a couple of times now. I enjoy the freedom, he loves it when I come home and tell him about it.

If you're totally honest with each other and don't hide anything, and if you're both sure it's what you want to do then go for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would the woman let hubby play alone tho?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What are you concerned it will ruin?

That's just it . .I've no idea, just finding myself going round in circles . . "

So if you don't actually think it would ruin anything, then it comes down to:

Would this give me pleasure?

Or:

Would this not give me pleasure?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Would the woman let hubby play alone tho?"

It's not about letting,he doesn't want to . .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would the woman let hubby play alone tho?

It's not about letting,he doesn't want to . . "
I see and yes thats good as well.

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By *UNKIEMan over a year ago

south east

Been playing alone for years ..we started off with seperate rooms and gradually went from there and never looked back lol ..it works for some ..good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you should start with a social! Meet a guy on your own and see how you feel while on the meet and go from there!

If you feel fine and it's actually got you excited then you know for next time it's something you like. If you don't feel right, then you've had a drink with a guy...nothing wrong in that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think you should start with a social! Meet a guy on your own and see how you feel while on the meet and go from there!

If you feel fine and it's actually got you excited then you know for next time it's something you like. If you don't feel right, then you've had a drink with a guy...nothing wrong in that!

A social on my own wouldn't be a new thing..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Been playing alone for years ..we started off with seperate rooms and gradually went from there and never looked back lol ..it works for some ..good luck

ThankYou

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By *mallteaserWoman over a year ago

Central

Just do, what you feel best and comfy with xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's something we've talked about and experimented a bit with but its not for us. We've realised swinging is something we enjoy with each other.

For me it is the lack of buzz and excitement but I feel Like you, I enjoy it so much together that I have no interest separately..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

I have played alone with a trusted fwb, it was great sending photos to Mr General and filming it for him to watch later. We both knew our fwb really well and knew I was in safe hands.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

I have played alone with a trusted fwb, it was great sending photos to Mr General and filming it for him to watch later. We both knew our fwb really well and knew I was in safe hands."

this is kind of the route we've been talking about . . A guy that we both know. . X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the comments guys. A little more talking to be done I think. We'll get there,or not. . Who knows xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

I have played alone with a trusted fwb, it was great sending photos to Mr General and filming it for him to watch later. We both knew our fwb really well and knew I was in safe hands.

this is kind of the route we've been talking about . . A guy that we both know. . X"

Yes that's a good idea, someone you know is always best. I couldn't just meet a stranger on my own.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have discussed this aswell. We feel that it would be best to meet with people we have played with before rather than newbies.

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By *eggaeloverMan over a year ago

Bristol

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

It would turn me on too but I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to so I censor myself even in jest about mentioning it.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

This is something we've done a few times, mainly with singles but with 1 couple too.

Have always taken pics or video to share with partner. Part of the turn on for us, watching or looking at them together later that day.

Communication is always important but even more so I think when meeting separately.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?"

I think she isn't sure if he means it or not x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?"

Exactly that, I've asked numerous times . Apparently it's genuine, but we all know people can say things they don't really mean. . X

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?

I think she isn't sure if he means it or not x "

Oh right thank you.

Op, if he doesn't mean it, it could cause trouble for loads of possible reasons. One thing I will say is if he has made a suggestion and you can't communicate between you in such a way so as to establish whether it's genuine or not you shouldn't go ahead until you can.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?

Exactly that, I've asked numerous times . Apparently it's genuine, but we all know people can say things they don't really mean. . X"

Oh we cross posted

. See above really I wouldn't go ahead until you know

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?

Exactly that, I've asked numerous times . Apparently it's genuine, but we all know people can say things they don't really mean. . X

Oh we cross posted

. See above really I wouldn't go ahead until you know

I won't be . . X

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?

Exactly that, I've asked numerous times . Apparently it's genuine, but we all know people can say things they don't really mean. . X

Oh we cross posted

. See above really I wouldn't go ahead until you know

I won't be . . X"

Good call.....and they say women are hard to fathom

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By *aveandkate35Couple over a year ago

telford

Kate had her first proper solo meet on Friday and It went incredibly well.

That said we learnt a lot from it and emotions can run very high.

All id say is as others have said - 100% transparency and honesty.

You can't plan or discuss every scenario, so have a "if anything else happens I'll deal with it like this". Plan.

If that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have explored this and happy to report it was a great experience every time. If you're both open to it and open to each other re your feelings and emotions it can be thrilling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

It would turn me on too but I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to so I censor myself even in jest about mentioning it."

'jesting' is one of my concerns . .. is he ? Isn't he . ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Set your own rules and boundaries. Make sure it is what you both want.

He wants a few pics so seems he is up for it for real.

If you are then get back in touch with me (we have already messaged ) as I only live in Malvern, have experienced of this scenario, am genuine and local to you.

xx. Chris

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Message me again and let's arrange to meet socially. We can all sort out how genuine this is and either go for it....or just treat it as having a drink.....best suggestion I can give I think?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Set your own rules and boundaries. Make sure it is what you both want.

He wants a few pics so seems he is up for it for real.

If you are then get back in touch with me (we have already messaged ) as I only live in Malvern, have experienced of this scenario, am genuine and local to you.

xx. Chris "

How can I be tactful . .without offending?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's something we've talked about and experimented a bit with but its not for us. We've realised swinging is something we enjoy with each other.

I know others love it though, I think it's something you have to work out together, no one else can tell you if it will work for you or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?

I think she isn't sure if he means it or not x

Oh right thank you.

Good luck OP.

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By *edsBonkingMan over a year ago

Near MK

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

If you are both 100% happy with those arrangements then why not give it a try?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

"
We've done this a few times when I (John) have either been away or at work. Lyn has also stayed in hotels with a very trusted friend. Have to say it's a great turn on for both of us. We're all different though.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would the woman let hubby play alone tho?"
Yes we have both played alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When we first met we both used to play as singles too... We also had some meets since being together where we played seperate.

However now the idea fills me with dread.. and I too worry about it changing the good thing that we have. But on my part, I really do not have any interest in meeting a guy or a couple by myself. as it just lacks that buzz that meeting together does.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

What do you mean by "genuine suggestion"? Why can't you ask him if it's genuine or not?

I think she isn't sure if he means it or not x

Oh right thank you.

Good luck OP.

ThankYou

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I can't believe how many couples do this. We love it too and works for us. First time or two can't be nerve wracking for both but like others have said communication is the key.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When we first got together we said no to playing alone, our single profiles we then used for organising surprise naughty meets for us. As total trust came we decided that meeting others was ok if the other was not able to be there, Clubs only though and not one on one meets. This was for V mainly and I just loved hearing about ALL the details not just a summary.

Now the ideal for us is to play together only (some club exceptions) so we have come full circle. It evolves we may move again. Who knows! What is key is it has to be fun and horny for us both x

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By *ynamicrickCouple over a year ago

scunthorpe

My wife has played on her own for a few years and we both enjoy the thrill if its what you both agree I love hearing about it when she comes home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

"
my advice is don't do it if you have a good relationship with your partner and spice it up by playing as a couple and couples are really the only " swingers" then that should be all you need if you go out on your own you may find you like it and may like the guy you meet more than you're man and not just that if he cares about you in any shape or form jealousy will rear its ugly head x

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

my advice is don't do it if you have a good relationship with your partner and spice it up by playing as a couple and couples are really the only " swingers" then that should be all you need if you go out on your own you may find you like it and may like the guy you meet more than you're man and not just that if he cares about you in any shape or form jealousy will rear its ugly head x

Playing alone is negotiated between a couple and has nothing to do with how good their relationship is. Nobody can tell another person that playing as a couple is all they should need or that jealousy is a result of caring about someone. You have entirely misunderstood the type of relationship some couples have I think.

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By *rs PleasuresWoman over a year ago

Sheffield

"My wife has played on her own for a few years and we both enjoy the thrill if its what you both agree I love hearing about it when she comes home"

Same here..

The anticipation of a meet and then telling my fella when I get home about how naughty I've been is a huge thrill to us both too.

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By *rs PleasuresWoman over a year ago

Sheffield

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Please don't private message. It will result in a delete and block!..

I think I understand where your coming from.When we first started out in this scene,jealousy was always on my mind. .is he ? Isn't he ?? . But my mind not his! I think we've come along way since then.learnt alot about each other,and talked alot! This is just taking it to another level,and just being talked about.. for now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The one thing will say is that its easy to say what you think sounds horny but until you experience it is the real decider. Communication is the key to making this work and though not in a bdsm relationship safe word still pretty useful. Before and after the meet have a chat and make sure everything was ok. Tweak where needs to be tweaked but also knowing that if when confronted with the real thing both of you know that you could back out especially if with someone you both know and trust.

Have fun and enjoy whatever you do but keep us all updated

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By *aneandpaulCouple over a year ago

cleveleys

Only ever played 4 times without Paul 3 times were with guys we had already met the other time i was on a 4 day course and got on well with a guy in the hotel Paul being Paul told me to go for it they even had a chat on the phone.

Don,t feel safe without Paul

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