FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Help on messaging
Help on messaging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I really require some assistance with messages as I am crap at wording things. I never get responses? From a female or couple view what kind of message would you reply to? And what should I involve? |
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By *urvyemmaWoman
over a year ago
wigan/bolton |
You have a good profile and come across nice and normal and open. I would say make sure you read profiles, try and put something in your message that shows you have read their profile but most of all be patient.
It's probably not that you are doing anything wrong. .its literally sheer numbers! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I would respond better to a chatty email that refers to my likes and suggests possible meets than one what describes sexual encounters. Nothing more offputting than explicit messages or messages copied from an erotic website. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages. "
How far away from you was the furthest woman you've messaged? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages.
How far away from you was the furthest woman you've messaged? "
Typically within 30-40 miles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really require some assistance with messages as I am crap at wording things. I never get responses? From a female or couple view what kind of message would you reply to? And what should I involve? "
i think its because your miles from them and look a bit too ghey  |
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"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages. "
Not true. It just makes the good ones stand out more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always read the profiles and use something from within the profile as a topic of conversation.
Have fun withing the forums and get to know people this way and most importantly be yourself and just have a little faith it will happen.
I wish you the very best of luck in your search here though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hate message tennis prefer that someone gets to the point saying a little about themselves and stating what they are looking for.
When we get all the "HI how are you" and "How you finding this site" messages we just think get to the point muchacho!!!! |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages. "
No they don't. The only person that affects your success on this site is you. I was speaking for myself - there will be loads of women on here who love filthy or explicit messages. If you read a profile carefully you will know what sort of message is appropriate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few pertinent points about you or their profiles. If its too long it puts me off..also too short. Not that im picky or anything "
That sounds like Goldilocks and the three bears type of message then But like you said too long you will lose the will to live when reading and too short you will think not effort applied..  |
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"A few pertinent points about you or their profiles. If its too long it puts me off..also too short. Not that im picky or anything
That sounds like Goldilocks and the three bears type of message then But like you said too long you will lose the will to live when reading and too short you will think not effort applied.. "
I don't think the length matters (of the message that is)...refer to something in the profile...your profile should already contain enough detail about you. If it doesn't, then fix it... |
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Just keep doing what you're doing, be yourself etc. If you start reading all the different do's and don'ts and try jumping through all the hoops you'll just end up in a mess. If you just stick with whatever you're doing you'll hopefully end up meeting with someone on the same wavelength as yourself. Myself, I probably waffle on far too much in my messages  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You have a good profile and come across nice and normal and open. I would say make sure you read profiles, try and put something in your message that shows you have read their profile but most of all be patient.
It's probably not that you are doing anything wrong. .its literally sheer numbers! "
Exactly this!
Ive been lucky enough to get 1 meet in almost a year( i went and came back) she has now gone, i chat to a few couples in my area but not had any meets yet.
As they say patience is a virtue.
So many men in comparison to women/couples. |
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There is no wrong or right message. The only advice I can give you is read their profile and make some comments on it with a brief description of what your looking for.
I have tried just about everything, you will never please everyone. I have sent one liners, several long paragraphs, nice polite introductions... You name I have tried it. If I get one reply in a hundred I'm doing well and most of them are a negative response.
I have chatted to some who then disappear, I have maybe met two or three women from here in all the time I have been on here, no verifications because they have left the site.
It's a catch 22, most wont meet without a verification, can't get a verification without a meet!
Keep your expectations low, be polite and honest and you will be fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really require some assistance with messages as I am crap at wording things. I never get responses? From a female or couple view what kind of message would you reply to? And what should I involve? "
If someone takes the trouble to send us some pics to look at we'll respond. If it's a profile with no public pics and none in the message we'll just delete. If it's a silhouette profile with no attached pics we won't even look before deleting.
So, if containing pics, and perhaps a reference to something in our profile text it's much more likely we'll respond. Obviously a positive response depends on if the person messaging us is our 'type' or not. |
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"A few pertinent points about you or their profiles. If its too long it puts me off..also too short. Not that im picky or anything
That sounds like Goldilocks and the three bears type of message then But like you said too long you will lose the will to live when reading and too short you will think not effort applied..
I don't think the length matters (of the message that is)...refer to something in the profile...your profile should already contain enough detail about you. If it doesn't, then fix it..."
Length in itself isnt the most important but like I say..fairly short with something about the persons status or profile is usually the way to go.
Goldilocks was one of my favourite stories anyway  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Make note of a few of their status updates if they use them. Gives you something to refer to. It's why I eventually answered the BF on hissecond or third message from his faceless, one line profile. |
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By *yronutMan
over a year ago
St Austell |
I fully concur with you there.... So many of our gender are such idiots that it difficult to the bad out from the good and we all end up tarred with the same brush.... I am in the same predicament, I send what I think is a nice chatty message but 99.9% of the time get nothing in return,...
Keep trying and stay polite |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages.
How on earth do you know that?"
Thats what I thought. That and the assumption that just 1% of the guys on here are gemuinely good ones. Wish I had a pound for every time I've read a guy say in the forums that 'guys on this site spoil it for genuine guys like me'. Cringeworthy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages.
How on earth do you know that?
Thats what I thought. That and the assumption that just 1% of the guys on here are gemuinely good ones. Wish I had a pound for every time I've read a guy say in the forums that 'guys on this site spoil it for genuine guys like me'. Cringeworthy"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never send out messages first just wait for them to contact you. It might take longer but saves disappointment. Try using the chat rooms go on cam etc. Get arty with your pictures to make them stand out (not saying mine are!)
Waste of time constructing loads of detailed messages life is too short. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never send out messages first just wait for them to contact you. It might take longer but saves disappointment. Try using the chat rooms go on cam etc. Get arty with your pictures to make them stand out (not saying mine are!)
Waste of time constructing loads of detailed messages life is too short. "
very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really require some assistance with messages as I am crap at wording things. I never get responses? From a female or couple view what kind of message would you reply to? And what should I involve? "
Make sure they're aware how big your cock is and how you're going to destroy them. They love it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages.
How on earth do you know that?
Thats what I thought. That and the assumption that just 1% of the guys on here are gemuinely good ones. Wish I had a pound for every time I've read a guy say in the forums that 'guys on this site spoil it for genuine guys like me'. Cringeworthy"
Well it's actually true, some pushy, arrogant males do ruin things because let's face it people stereotype. That 1% was obviously just to prove a point, I've seen/heard of loads of males sending negative and weird messages. There's more bad than good on here in the terms of males. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"There's more bad than good on here in the terms of males. "
Do you get loads of messages from men on here?
Stop trying to make yourself look good by insulting your fellow single men. It aint working. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"I really require some assistance with messages as I am crap at wording things. I never get responses? From a female or couple view what kind of message would you reply to? And what should I involve? "
PS Having seen your attitude with regards to some of the members of Fab, I think I've worked out your problem. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages.
How on earth do you know that?
Thats what I thought. That and the assumption that just 1% of the guys on here are gemuinely good ones. Wish I had a pound for every time I've read a guy say in the forums that 'guys on this site spoil it for genuine guys like me'. Cringeworthy
Well it's actually true, some pushy, arrogant males do ruin things because let's face it people stereotype. That 1% was obviously just to prove a point, I've seen/heard of loads of males sending negative and weird messages. There's more bad than good on here in the terms of males. "
**coughs**,...excuses... excuses..
There's no magic formula.. not one particular type of message that works for all.
You carry on believing.g that if guys have spoilt it for you why ask for advice on messages.. why message ... They've already spoilt i for you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages.
How on earth do you know that?
Thats what I thought. That and the assumption that just 1% of the guys on here are gemuinely good ones. Wish I had a pound for every time I've read a guy say in the forums that 'guys on this site spoil it for genuine guys like me'. Cringeworthy
Well it's actually true, some pushy, arrogant males do ruin things because let's face it people stereotype. That 1% was obviously just to prove a point, I've seen/heard of loads of males sending negative and weird messages. There's more bad than good on here in the terms of males. "
So what does that say about you if you still can't get a response? How would you go on if all the guys were 'good'? Would that make it easier or harder for you? And if nobody responds to you how have you seen/heard of loads of males sending weird and negative messages? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is pointless. Too much negativity, the forums are full of mainly helpful people although there's always people waiting to put down others and critise. I'm simply new to the scene and wasn't having much luck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not trying to make myself 'look better' it's a fact of life about all of the creepy men as you see it not just on here but pretty much every kind of social media possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is pointless. Too much negativity, the forums are full of mainly helpful people although there's always people waiting to put down others and critise. I'm simply new to the scene and wasn't having much luck."
Chin up buttercup welcome to the forums once you overcome the baptism of fire it gets better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the help. I will try this out, the problem is 99% of men ruin it for the genuinely good ones but sending explicit and full on messages. "
Sorry fella, but that is just a cop out. Please don't blame others for your own lack of success.
Where do you get the 99% figure from?
And if 99% of men are sending explicit messages and you aren't, then you would surely be standing out from the rest of them wouldn't you.
You need to put in the effort in order to reap the rewards.
Consider this also. You've just slagged off a large proportion of the membership of fab (given that single males outnumber all others). Why do you think that anyone would be inclined to offer you any assistance on what to write in a message?
The rest of us have had to work it out for ourselves.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst the stats are interesting I will say that we usually have single guys blocked from messaging us, not because we don't meet them but because those that do send messgaes, for the most part send my husband demented (he has a thing about me being respected during a meet, which I love him for). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oops pushed send too soon - so basically the behaviour of the majority of single men has lead to us blocking them. So I guess some do ruin it for others!
That said we just find our own, good pics and a decent profile are what we look for first |
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Don't stress too much man, us single males are a penny a dozen.
It IS disheartening to see your nicely tailored and specific message read and deleted, so stick to something basic that gets all your info across.
And to all the ladies that actually have replied with a "no i don't think we're a match, thanks for the email though". It is fucking appreciated, thank you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not trying to make myself 'look better' it's a fact of life about all of the creepy men as you see it not just on here but pretty much every kind of social media possible. "
damn, wish every man was as wonderful as you |
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