FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > New couple looking for advice.

New couple looking for advice.

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Hey there people!

We are a new couple curious about the scene, looking for advice on starting out, things, to look out for and all.

One question we have is as unsure newbies not knowing our limits or exactly what we desire we have been told a good place to start is parties or clubs - is this true?

Thanks in advance.

J & K

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By *andb69Couple over a year ago

leeds

We started in clubs just a couple of years ago. Although full of trepidation before we went in for the first time, we were totally at ease once we were inside. People are friendly and there is never any pressure to go beyond your own boundaries. You can simply watch and chat, soft swing, go the whole way, or arrange a gang bang. Also there is never any problem with no-shows which seem to plague meets. You also see what you're getting, not what someone on the Internet claims to be.

This is just our view, of course, but it has certainly worked for us. We now only play in clubs and are never disappointed with an evening's adventures.

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By *urvyemmaWoman over a year ago

wigan/bolton

Yes clubs are definitely the way to go. .you can go and just get used to being around other naked couples and watching. No pressure to play with anyone. Some guys I have been to clubs with think they will like swinging but in reality they don't like it..better to find that out in a club rather than a meet!

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By *estinysswingersCouple over a year ago

Worsley

Clubs are a great place to start. You get go meet like minded people and just have a chat. Absolutely zero pressure. We usually love chatting to new people.

Best thing to do is go and see how you feel. Only you'll know what your boundaries will be. Start off slowly and enjoy the adventure together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for that.

Is it all laid back then? Miss K is concerned about pushy blokes and is a little self conscious about being completely naked in front of strangers for the first time - in general are you allowed to wear clothes?

So it's not frowned upon to be on the periphery just chatting and watching?

J&K

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We started in clubs just a couple of years ago. Although full of trepidation before we went in for the first time, we were totally at ease once we were inside. People are friendly and there is never any pressure to go beyond your own boundaries. You can simply watch and chat, soft swing, go the whole way, or arrange a gang bang. Also there is never any problem with no-shows which seem to plague meets. You also see what you're getting, not what someone on the Internet claims to be.

This is just our view, of course, but it has certainly worked for us. We now only play in clubs and are never disappointed with an evening's adventures."

Second this! worked for us find a good club and go as slow as you want.

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By *estinysswingersCouple over a year ago

Worsley

It varies from club to club. Not at all familiar with the clubs down south. Some clubs are dress down on arrival where the women wear something sexy. Others allow clothes in certain areas.

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By *LCCCouple over a year ago

Cambridge

With clubs its great to soak up the sexy atmosphere, and play together. Great way to start

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/08/15 18:50:47]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the advice people, very informative and helpful.

If there is any more advice anyone has on the scene or swinging in general would be greatly appreciated!

J&K

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for all the advice people, very informative and helpful.

If there is any more advice anyone has on the scene or swinging in general would be greatly appreciated!

J&K"

If your worried about single men go on a couples night which are normally Saturday anyway. Check the reviews section for all you need to know.

Our first night was a singles night which had a vastly different "Charged" atmosphere (not in a bad way though. You'll find couples nights are a little more laid back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

That's something to consider thanks.

Going to have to find what clubs are local to us now!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That's something to consider thanks.

Going to have to find what clubs are local to us now!"

hi guys eureaka is a great club to start with , close to you and very relaxed friendly club, its open all day for outside chilling and some fun with excellent partys in the eve, clothing is optional so you can wear as much or as little clothes as you like

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By *aveandkate35Couple over a year ago

telford

Some great advice here!

Our top tip - don't drink too much!!

It's very easy to sink a few before you go in just to get the courage to walk through the door! - then when you're in you have a drink as you realise it's not anywhere as near as bad as you imagined! - before you know it you're a bit tipsy - which most find unattractive.

That's exactly what we did the first time we went and made an arse of ourselves.

We now measure out what we know works for us over an evening and take just that! - as most clubs are brung your own, once it's gone it's gone!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah we are in the same position as yourselves. Anyone know of any clubs in Scotland ? X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would say try a club over a party. Have a look at the club listings and then go on their own websites as some clubs might have specialities that may or may not be what you are into.

The benefit of a club is you know people are genuine and never any pressure to play and a great way to chat to other swingers.

I've been going to clubs now for almost 10 years and still enjoy listening to other people's experiences.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks again.

Liking the alcohol advice could be an issue for one of us (me not K, I just enjoy partying a bit too much!)

We take it there is a varied age range to things? We wouldn't be out of place going in and both being early twenties?

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By *urvyemmaWoman over a year ago

wigan/bolton

I have never been to a club where everyone is naked..Most of the women are in some kind of babydoll/basque. .even when playing.

There is absolutely no pressure to play..you can walk around together, holding hands and watching. It's very horny and when you feel like playing you can join in or play next to a couple or go in a private room and lock the door! If you don't like it you can leave. .nothing to lose, everything to gain!

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

Best piece of advice we got when we were starting out is, set your own rules and boundaries between yourselves, and never be shy to let others know them.

If you are in a situation where you feel you might be drifting outside of what you BOTH find acceptable, then call a time-out, head off and discuss it between yourselves, never feel you have to carry on just because you started.

Above all, communicate with each other at all times.

And never forget, its supposed to be fun, if it isn't, walk away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some great advice here!

Our top tip - don't drink too much!!

That's exactly what we did the first time we went and made an arse of ourselves.

We now measure out what we know works for us over an evening and take just that! - as most clubs are brung your own, once it's gone it's gone!

What these said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks again.

Liking the alcohol advice could be an issue for one of us (me not K, I just enjoy partying a bit too much!)

We take it there is a varied age range to things? We wouldn't be out of place going in and both being early twenties?"

You get all ages from you 20s to 60s and all shapes/sizes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Everybody has been very helpful it's great to see that you all seem like such a friendly bunch - so thank you to all that posted!

Any final advice for us both relating to the whole scene not just clubs? Does our profile look okay at the moment?

J & K

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Clubs are where we started out. Great way of meeting new people, trying things out and seeing how you feel. Worst case scenario is you decide it's not for you and never go again. Best case scenario is that you love it and it becomes a regular thing. If you're not sure that you'll go back to a club once you've been, try and avoiding paying for a Lifetime Membership. You won't waste a lot of money on a bad night out then.

Another good thing to do is try and hook up with people who have been on the local scene for a number of years, then you'll have people who can advise you and even vet your Fab Friends list for time wasters, fakers and general bad sorts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You might also find that you go in with very set and rigid boundaries, but once you've played alongside or with another couple those boundaries change. Be sure whether you want to Soft Swap or Full Swap though, and stick to it, or else misunderstandings and bad scenes can happen. Above all, be safe and enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it then don't do it, whatever anyone else says.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everybody has been very helpful it's great to see that you all seem like such a friendly bunch - so thank you to all that posted!

Any final advice for us both relating to the whole scene not just clubs? Does our profile look okay at the moment?

J & K"

Don't put "We'll complete this properly soon" - it looks lazy and half-arsed. Sorry to be blunt. As Yoda says "Do, or do not."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Generally speaking, your profile is good in terms of saying what you want out of the swing scene.

Be careful about putting too much personal info in your profile though. Do people really need to know a particular thing about you? If not, don't include it.

We've found that having good photos helps things immensely. Nothing wrong with selfies, but make sure that they're in focus. Obviously, you don't want to show face pics in your public gallery, and may wish to blur faces out, but I meant that the pictures as a whole should be in focus and portray you in a good light. Make sure that the room you take the picture in is tidy as well.

Our profile is very long, but says exactly what we will and won't do, do and don't want. You can criticise it for being long but it has also been praised for being detailed and informative. People will either read your profile or they won't. If they don't then that's up to them, but you might reap the benefits of having a longer, more specific profile blurb.

All the best, and have fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Best piece of advice we got when we were starting out is, set your own rules and boundaries between yourselves, and never be shy to let others know them.

Above all, communicate with each other at all times.

And never forget, its supposed to be fun, if it isn't, walk away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never been to a club where everyone is naked..Most of the women are in some kind of babydoll/basque. .even when playing."

You've never been to Atlantis upstairs on a Saturday night then!

Seriously though, it's important to be comfortable in what you are (or aren't) wearing. And, if the people around you are naked and playing then it's frowned upon if you don't get naked too. It's seen as being a bit selfish. Usually speaking, full nakedness is confined to people actually playing in the actual play areas, so you can choose whether or not to get involved. There are usually social areas in clubs where people stay clothed.

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple over a year ago

North West

This is just our view, of course, but it has certainly worked for us. We now only play in clubs and are never disappointed with an evening's adventures."

Exactly this for us too. Nervous as hell before we went in but have never looked back the moment we got settled.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thank you dandmstaffs,don't worry about being blunt - blunt is equally appreciated and more useful! Will work on it all. Your profile doesn't seem to long and gets everything needed across.

Thanks again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You might also find that you go in with very set and rigid boundaries, but once you've played alongside or with another couple those boundaries change. Be sure whether you want to Soft Swap or Full Swap though, and stick to it, or else misunderstandings and bad scenes can happen. Above all, be safe and enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it then don't do it, whatever anyone else says."

As above, may sound silly but we sat up in bed one night with pen and paper and listed our do, don't, will, won't etc. we were open about what where and who. as we developed we changed a few rules and pushed a boundary or two but we always stick to the rules we set as a couple and pull each other back in line if we get over excited

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you dandmstaffs,don't worry about being blunt - blunt is equally appreciated and more useful! Will work on it all. Your profile doesn't seem to long and gets everything needed across.

Thanks again"

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