FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How To Tell Wife I Want To Suck A Nice Cock In Front Of Her
How To Tell Wife I Want To Suck A Nice Cock In Front Of Her
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I am happily married and happily bisexual but my wife does not know about the latter.
I am meeting people off this site and have sucked some gorgeous cocks but I was wondering if anyone has got their wife to accept and watch her husband sucking cock in front of her.
She doesn't have to join in if she doesn't want to either.
Any idea's/tips/stories etc??
Thanking you. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Tell her a married guy at work has just come out as bi and his wife loved it and wanted to join in. See what she says.  "
That is a good idea. Enables the subject to be broached and gives an indication of the reaction.
Op you say you are happily married and I have no reason to doubt that, that indicates to me that you and your wife have good communication. The only way I know of sorting out quandaries such as this is talking. Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you need to ask yourself if your desire to suck cock in front of your wife is so selfishly important too you that you're willing to risk causing untold mental anguish to your wife....
Does that help ......  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Tell her a married guy at work has just come out as bi and his wife loved it and wanted to join in. See what she says. "
This, or similar. Say you read about it on an erotic story website somewhere (you forgot the link) and thought 'actually that's quite a turn on' if she reacts negatively 'oh of course to keep as fantasy only never real life', if she reacts positively 'hmmm I'd love to try it see how it felt'.
Good luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
So are you suggesting it's ok to unwitting involve 3rd party's in our life-style choices.....
i.e. none swingers should be OK finding out their spouse has been engaging in casual same sex activity behind their back..  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
Having seen tens of this type of thread I came to the conclusion that although I don't think honesty is always the best policy in cases like this it is. The hurt and upset caused by finding that your partner has been deceiving you coupled with the surprise of discovering they're bi or interested in group sex or whatever is much worse than than the discovery of the sexual interest alone in my opinion.
Concentrating on the deceit aspect of things helps no one least of all the unwitting partner. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So are you suggesting....."
What I am suggesting is already written in black and white above. You don't need to add any other words to it or read it in any different way, as I already wrote what I'm suggesting.
There are many rights and wrongs, my post was about being judgemental on people without even knowing who they are what their life is like. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So are you suggesting.....
What I am suggesting is already written in black and white above. You don't need to add any other words to it or read it in any different way, as I already wrote what I'm suggesting.
There are many rights and wrongs, my post was about being judgemental on people without even knowing who they are what their life is like."
But your judging people on their response to the OP's request for tips... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here.
So are you suggesting it's ok to unwitting involve 3rd party's in our life-style choices.....
i.e. none swingers should be OK finding out their spouse has been engaging in casual same sex activity behind their back.. "
For me it's better to find out from the person doing it than stumble across it accidentally. Imagine the distress caused by reading that profile and verifications if you were unaware.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
For me it's better to find out from the person doing it than stumble across it accidentally. Imagine the distress caused by reading that profile and verifications if you were unaware. "
I agree with that entirely.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But your judging people on their response to the OP's request for tips... "
I did wonder if you might say that, but then I thought no, that's the sort of thing an 11 year old schoolroom lawyer would say. Shows even I can be wrong sometimes (don't tell my wife).
If the guy said 'hey guys a critique of my life please' great, he asked for advice on an issue that I'm sure many other people on here can help him with. Now the thread has been hijacked by the fab judgers. My advice has been given already, and I refuse to partake in any more of this hijack, so will agree to disagree and wish you a good day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So are you suggesting.....
What I am suggesting is already written in black and white above. You don't need to add any other words to it or read it in any different way, as I already wrote what I'm suggesting.
There are many rights and wrongs, my post was about being judgemental on people without even knowing who they are what their life is like."
I don't care if the O.P. sucks cocks for Britain in the olympics.
I do care about lying.
I will judge.
I know all human beings judge and only the deluded kid themselves that they don't.
Incidentally you are judging the judgers be sure of your argument before you state them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
For me it's better to find out from the person doing it than stumble across it accidentally. Imagine the distress caused by reading that profile and verifications if you were unaware.
I agree with that entirely.. "
And that's the reason that nowadays I try to give advice that leads to honesty....although God knows why since we all know the probable outcome. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But your judging people on their response to the OP's request for tips...
I did wonder if you might say that, but then I thought no, that's the sort of thing an 11 year old schoolroom lawyer would say. Shows even I can be wrong sometimes (don't tell my wife).
If the guy said 'hey guys a critique of my life please' great, he asked for advice on an issue that I'm sure many other people on here can help him with. Now the thread has been hijacked by the fab judgers. My advice has been given already, and I refuse to partake in any more of this hijack, so will agree to disagree and wish you a good day."
It's almost like you'd prepared that response in eager anticipation of any opportunity to throw it out there,,,,,
So I'm just gonna feel honoured you threw it at me because you were unable to provide a more reasoned response... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Could talk to her, crazy idea I know but.... "
To be fair it's quite a difficult subject to bring up "would you like sausages for tea darling? Oh that reminds me fancy watching me sucking cock after?" Could bring on a bout of indigestion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Could talk to her, crazy idea I know but....
To be fair it's quite a difficult subject to bring up "would you like sausages for tea darling? Oh that reminds me fancy watching me sucking cock after?" Could bring on a bout of indigestion. "
Hmmm a bit bungling. How about just serving up the sausages. Picking one from the plate. Staring  like that. Then ..... slowwwwly fellate the sausage and see whether she goes or   |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could talk to her, crazy idea I know but.... "
Fully agree, comms is the way to go.
Reading between the lines of the OP he's explored this side of himself and thought the risks to his marriage was too much, and yet he had these inner feelings and desires. We all know how powerful sexual desire can be, it is deep within us.
Now he's realised he made a mistake, he can't turn the clock back but is asking for help to make it right with his wife.
Talking it through in whatever way you choose to do it is probably the best way. If the full truth looks like it would destroy her then it's up to you OP to judge whether it's better to keep her in the dark on this or not. All I can do is wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out well for you both. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hello O.P.
I don't have a wife and I don't know anyone who has convinced their wife to watch them suck cock.
So I can't help you.
Good luck x"
Having been through this situation,though it never involved any cheating as I never acted upon it until AFTER the discussion had been had, I can only say to the OP that talking to your partner is the only thing that will resolve it.
Quite how you broach the subject is very much dependant on your partners overall feelings on alternative lifestyles, etc.
All I know is that we had a number of years of talking before we took the bi plunge and now we are so glad we did as it is something we build into our meets and enjoy together.
You do have the added complications of having played away before talking to her and that could blow up in your face,for which I doubt any advice you get here will help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Could talk to her, crazy idea I know but....
Fully agree, comms is the way to go.
Reading between the lines of the OP he's explored this side of himself and thought the risks to his marriage was too much, and yet he had these inner feelings and desires. We all know how powerful sexual desire can be, it is deep within us.
Now he's realised he made a mistake, he can't turn the clock back but is asking for help to make it right with his wife.
Talking it through in whatever way you choose to do it is probably the best way. If the full truth looks like it would destroy her then it's up to you OP to judge whether it's better to keep her in the dark on this or not. All I can do is wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out well for you both."
I agreed with quite a lot of what you said earlier but you've just made quite a few judgements there based on nothing but reading between the lines. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Might want to consider what happens should it go badly.
She might be cheating on you already and this gives her reason to divorce.
She might drop this bombshell to her friends - bet they'd advise that you get crucified and squeezed for every penny.
Maybe divorce is needed? Lots of possibities pop up when peeking in to this situation.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Could talk to her, crazy idea I know but....
Fully agree, comms is the way to go.
Reading between the lines of the OP he's explored this side of himself and thought the risks to his marriage was too much, and yet he had these inner feelings and desires. We all know how powerful sexual desire can be, it is deep within us.
Now he's realised he made a mistake, he can't turn the clock back but is asking for help to make it right with his wife.
Talking it through in whatever way you choose to do it is probably the best way. If the full truth looks like it would destroy her then it's up to you OP to judge whether it's better to keep her in the dark on this or not. All I can do is wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out well for you both."
That's a lot of reading between lines.
He never mentioned 'mistake' he never mentioned 'making it right' with his wife.
He asks if anyone has 'got their wife to accept and watch'.....
This is it in a nutshell.
He likes sucking cock.
How can he get his wife to watch.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sometimes it pays to move at the right pace.
She may be devastated that she's not in the secure faithful marriage that she believes she may be in, with a straight man.
At one extreme you could leave photos of your cock sucking around your home, so she gets it. Or you could confide in her some of your thoughts, testing the waters.
The relationship may not sustain one party having fun on the side, so consider her feelings and what could happen. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hello O.P.
I don't have a wife and I don't know anyone who has convinced their wife to watch them suck cock.
So I can't help you.
Good luck x
Having been through this situation,though it never involved any cheating as I never acted upon it until AFTER the discussion had been had, I can only say to the OP that talking to your partner is the only thing that will resolve it.
Quite how you broach the subject is very much dependant on your partners overall feelings on alternative lifestyles, etc.
All I know is that we had a number of years of talking before we took the bi plunge and now we are so glad we did as it is something we build into our meets and enjoy together.
You do have the added complications of having played away before talking to her and that could blow up in your face,for which I doubt any advice you get here will help."
Can't be any advice more 'in the know' than this one. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'd say, tell her you fancy a threesome jokingly or ask her if she would like another randy Andy to join in, spice it up. Don't mention this site, if she says yes then sign up together. That would be the easiest way to, 'suck a gorgeous cock' in her midst.
I certainly wouldn't tell her your bi then mention fab then say you want her to watch you suck dick! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don,t people do pillow talk when there in bed having sex telling each other your fantasies like,s or don,t like,s or is this how our happy marriage for 43 years swinging 36 as gone wrong"
This.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd say, tell her you fancy a threesome jokingly or ask her if she would like another randy Andy to join in, spice it up. Don't mention this site, if she says yes then sign up together. That would be the easiest way to, 'suck a gorgeous cock' in her midst.
I certainly wouldn't tell her your bi then mention fab then say you want her to watch you suck dick! "
Really ??? I think it would be better to be open about his 'bi' tendencies first.
Bit of a shocker when you sign up and your 'straight' hubby elbows you out of the way of the 'visiting' cock. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don,t people do pillow talk when there in bed having sex telling each other your fantasies like,s or don,t like,s or is this how our happy marriage for 43 years swinging 36 as gone wrong"
Some people don't tell all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Don,t people do pillow talk when there in bed having sex telling each other your fantasies like,s or don,t like,s or is this how our happy marriage for 43 years swinging 36 as gone wrong"
There are some things it's difficult to say even for long term married people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don,t people do pillow talk when there in bed having sex telling each other your fantasies like,s or don,t like,s or is this how our happy marriage for 43 years swinging 36 as gone wrong"
Absolutely this! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Do what my ex did ask would she have a three some and accidentally if she agrees come across this site join as a couple and go from there you may have to hold off on the bi bit til she gets used to the having a 3 some I would suggest a mff first a lot of blokes do hope it works out x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
This really meaningless dictum/saying whatever .. annoys me.
'Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes'.....
Idiotic claptrap.
I never walked in Hitler's shoes. I never even saw Stalin's shoes and I wouldn't be seen dead in Jesus' sandals...... Peter Sutcliffe, Jimmy Saville, Ian Brady.. not sure what they wore on their feet.
It's tripe! It's a trite cop out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This really meaningless dictum/saying whatever .. annoys me.
'Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes'.....
Idiotic claptrap.
I never walked in Hitler's shoes. I never even saw Stalin's shoes and I wouldn't be seen dead in Jesus' sandals...... Peter Sutcliffe, Jimmy Saville, Ian Brady.. not sure what they wore on their feet.
It's tripe! It's a trite cop out. "
Gwanny,,,,, this is why I luffs you.....
You are utterly magnificent,,,, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Piss poor to be doing what you're doing behind your wife's back.
I feel sorry for her "
Really? ?!! Is there a need to attack the guy ?? He asks a simple question you don't agree with what is happening wind your neck in andiignore the post. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My advice would be to stop fixating on it and think about something else. I can tell you from experience that sucking a cock in front of your own wife is nothing more than "ok", not mind blowing, or life changing, and certainly not worth risking your marriage for. She'd probably be happier if you vacuumed the stairs. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"She'd probably be happier if you vacuumed the stairs."
Or if you wanted mind blowing: take a Friday afternoon off work to do all the housework so you can spend the weekend together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"She'd probably be happier if you vacuumed the stairs.
Or if you wanted mind blowing: take a Friday afternoon off work to do all the housework so you can spend the weekend together. "
Marry me? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What about gloves then?"
I like those newish sort of ( what are they made of ? ) silicon ..answered myself.
They don't melt when I get stuff out of the oven !
The pallettes don't melt in the frying pan WOWWWee!
Never ceases to amaze me. I judge the gluv ! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"She'd probably be happier if you vacuumed the stairs.
Or if you wanted mind blowing: take a Friday afternoon off work to do all the housework so you can spend the weekend together.
Marry me?"
Marry me first! I have dusty stairs and undying love to give to the right hoovererrrrrr. I'm fickle tho..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What about gloves then?
I like those newish sort of ( what are they made of ? ) silicon ..answered myself.
They don't melt when I get stuff out of the oven !
The pallettes don't melt in the frying pan WOWWWee!
Never ceases to amaze me. I judge the gluv ! "
Never judge GC unless you've tried out her silicone gloves. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This really meaningless dictum/saying whatever .. annoys me.
'Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes'.....
Idiotic claptrap.
I never walked in Hitler's shoes. I never even saw Stalin's shoes and I wouldn't be seen dead in Jesus' sandals...... Peter Sutcliffe, Jimmy Saville, Ian Brady.. not sure what they wore on their feet.
It's tripe! It's a trite cop out. "
*Slight* difference between someone sucking someone's cock, and the responsibility of murdering tens of millions of people and attempting to wipe out entire demographics.
Godwin 1 - 0 Granny |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
The man asked a question for some advice and not for a marriage guidance session.
If you want to discuss married people playing away start another thread rather than spoil yet another thread.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To the OP....welcome to the forum. I have no advice other than to talk to your wife, although talking about fantasies could be a good start if you still have a sexual relationship.
Good luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This really meaningless dictum/saying whatever .. annoys me.
'Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes'.....
Idiotic claptrap.
I never walked in Hitler's shoes. I never even saw Stalin's shoes and I wouldn't be seen dead in Jesus' sandals...... Peter Sutcliffe, Jimmy Saville, Ian Brady.. not sure what they wore on their feet.
It's tripe! It's a trite cop out.
*Slight* difference between someone sucking someone's cock, and the responsibility of murdering tens of millions of people and attempting to wipe out entire demographics.
Godwin 1 - 0 Granny"
Shame those scores aren't in chalk.
I never mentioned sucking cock or the O.P.
I was talking about the phrase. Just the trite , meaningless phrase.
I'm not point scoring in any case. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You know your wife,we don't. In my marriage my husband and I were close enough to be able to talk about anything. If he had wanted to suck a cock or fuck a woman in front of me he would have said without fear of me throwing a fit or leaving. Do you know your wife well enough to feel safe in telling her? It doesn't matter how you go about saying it,it's how she will react that you should think about. You could carry on sucking cocks without her knowing anything about it but if you aren't careful she could find out. You then have to face the consequence. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don,t people do pillow talk when there in bed having sex telling each other your fantasies like,s or don,t like,s or is this how our happy marriage for 43 years swinging 36 as gone wrong"
Doing this is what led us to swinging and to enjoying many different experiences together.
You should rewind a bit. Find out if she has any fantasies and take time exploring them together. Trusting and learning about each other can make your sex lives very exciting, doing it behind her back is unfair as u haven't even tried to accomodate her feelings and possible fantasies.
Do it together and no one gets hurt. Or like someone else said, you could end up possibly divorced. If u have kids, why would u put a blow job before their happiness and health?
Openness with each other is a door to enjoyment but secrecy is damaging and can damage not just yours and your wifes lives but also others that are close to u.
Sex with someone else shouldn't come before your family. Whatever the circumstance.
At least not before youve even explored the possibility with the person ur supposed to love the most. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My advice would be to stop fixating on it and think about something else. I can tell you from experience that sucking a cock in front of your own wife is nothing more than "ok", not mind blowing, or life changing, and certainly not worth risking your marriage for. She'd probably be happier if you vacuumed the stairs."
Exactly! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This really meaningless dictum/saying whatever .. annoys me.
'Don't judge someone until you have walked in their shoes'.....
Idiotic claptrap.
I never walked in Hitler's shoes. I never even saw Stalin's shoes and I wouldn't be seen dead in Jesus' sandals...... Peter Sutcliffe, Jimmy Saville, Ian Brady.. not sure what they wore on their feet.
It's tripe! It's a trite cop out.
Gwanny,,,,, this is why I luffs you.....
You are utterly magnificent,,,, "
Sings: "I second that emotion". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If your happily married then you should know what she likes and doesnt most women i know like this as it means they get to have 2 cocks just mention it and see |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You must have some idea of her likely reaction? Is she quite open minded sexually?
Does she get jealous?
And what would your reaction be if she came home and told you she has a profile and been sucking cocks for fun without you.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Buy a lovely new dildo for you and your wife and in the heat of a dirty moment suck it in front of her. You'll soon know if she likes it or not.
...from little acorns..... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Try watching some porn with her, after starting with straight porn stick some bi on and ask if she'd like to try it. There's plenty of sites you can watch it on.
That's how we first talked about it even if it wasn't the intention when first putting it on |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
Thanks for that -- that is always my position on this topic ttoo |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lascumMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My advice would be to stop fixating on it and think about something else. I can tell you from experience that sucking a cock in front of your own wife is nothing more than "ok", not mind blowing, or life changing, and certainly not worth risking your marriage for. She'd probably be happier if you vacuumed the stairs."
I am on a winner then, as my partner does both - and uses shake n vac - no, for the stairs, silly ... (pepper) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You should rewind a bit. Find out if she has any fantasies and take time exploring them together. Trusting and learning about each other can make your sex lives very exciting, doing it behind her back is unfair as u haven't even tried to accomodate her feelings and possible fantasies.
Do it together and no one gets hurt. Or like someone else said, you could end up possibly divorced. If u have kids, why would u put a blow job before their happiness and health?
Openness with each other is a door to enjoyment but secrecy is damaging and can damage not just yours and your wifes lives but also others that are close to u.
Sex with someone else shouldn't come before your family. Whatever the circumstance.
At least not before youve even explored the possibility with the person ur supposed to love the most."
This.
We ended up here swinging discussing our fantasies and how best to achieve them.
I have to confess that I worry the fact that you are doing this arse about face may mean it back fires, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tell her a married guy at work has just come out as bi and his wife loved it and wanted to join in. See what she says. "
I was thinking of testing the water with that one too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Piss poor to be doing what you're doing behind your wife's back.
I feel sorry for her "
I know it's bad but we are all on here for the same reason and I was bisexual before I met her but haven't told her. Maybe I should of from the start. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tell her a married guy at work has just come out as bi and his wife loved it and wanted to join in. See what she says.
That is a good idea. Enables the subject to be broached and gives an indication of the reaction.
Op you say you are happily married and I have no reason to doubt that, that indicates to me that you and your wife have good communication. The only way I know of sorting out quandaries such as this is talking. Good luck"
We do always talk and we are very happy indeed but it's a bit 'Normal' when it comes to our sex life & I want to spice it up with what I'm used.
Thank you for your time. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think you need to ask yourself if your desire to suck cock in front of your wife is so selfishly important too you that you're willing to risk causing untold mental anguish to your wife....
Does that help ...... "
It doesn't help at all I am fully aware of the full implications already. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Tell her a married guy at work has just come out as bi and his wife loved it and wanted to join in. See what she says.
This, or similar. Say you read about it on an erotic story website somewhere (you forgot the link) and thought 'actually that's quite a turn on' if she reacts negatively 'oh of course to keep as fantasy only never real life', if she reacts positively 'hmmm I'd love to try it see how it felt'.
Good luck."
I think I will try this but I will have to sort the right timing. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
Thank you so much for your lovely comments as it's not easy for me to admit this to people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try listening to the serial at the end of woman's hour .. About a couple where the guy came out as gay .. Good luck"
I'm not gay but bisexual. I know it's the same sort of thing to advise your partner of though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Find out if 2 guys sucking is in her fantasy or fetish my gf knows am bi an some of my good friends an family "
I will think of ways & times to bring this up and try. Only a few people know I am bisexual though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The few things that stand out are, discussion, toy play and an experiment and porn / stories
Been bi but second wife didn't know and she was a swinger, when I did tell her (after the divorce) I was all the names under the sun ! But it was OK for her to be bi (double standards)
If you and your wife already engage in porn films or stories change the theme if not suggest watching / reading stories if at that point she isn't willing to engage I'd leave it well alone
It's not always what you do or want to do that hurts people, it's the dishonesty of doing it with out telling them that hurts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here.
Having seen tens of this type of thread I came to the conclusion that although I don't think honesty is always the best policy in cases like this it is. The hurt and upset caused by finding that your partner has been deceiving you coupled with the surprise of discovering they're bi or interested in group sex or whatever is much worse than than the discovery of the sexual interest alone in my opinion.
Concentrating on the deceit aspect of things helps no one least of all the unwitting partner. "
I have been thinking this too and maybe I should keep my dirty little secret to myself & carry on with meeting for NSA fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"But your judging people on their response to the OP's request for tips...
I did wonder if you might say that, but then I thought no, that's the sort of thing an 11 year old schoolroom lawyer would say. Shows even I can be wrong sometimes (don't tell my wife).
If the guy said 'hey guys a critique of my life please' great, he asked for advice on an issue that I'm sure many other people on here can help him with. Now the thread has been hijacked by the fab judgers. My advice has been given already, and I refuse to partake in any more of this hijack, so will agree to disagree and wish you a good day."
Thank you for your comments & sorry to cause any arguments but I am a normal bisexual man with a high sex drive that is not compatible with my wife's in some ways. I guess I want the best of both worlds. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
In the end the only way to tell her is to tell her.
The caution is because you don't know how she will react.
But none of us can tell you that.
In the end it's better you tell her than her finding out another way.
Preferably would have been before you acted on it, but that boat has sailed.
If you don't tell her then the only option left is to live a lie. Either by denying yourself or denying her the truth.
Its hard to make recommendations as none of us will know the outcome and the easiest time to tell her has already passed. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Could talk to her, crazy idea I know but....
Fully agree, comms is the way to go.
Reading between the lines of the OP he's explored this side of himself and thought the risks to his marriage was too much, and yet he had these inner feelings and desires. We all know how powerful sexual desire can be, it is deep within us.
Now he's realised he made a mistake, he can't turn the clock back but is asking for help to make it right with his wife.
Talking it through in whatever way you choose to do it is probably the best way. If the full truth looks like it would destroy her then it's up to you OP to judge whether it's better to keep her in the dark on this or not. All I can do is wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out well for you both."
Thank you so much for understanding & taking the time to reply. I know of the implications & may have to NOT include my wife in my dark desires.
My sexual preferences have always been the same and have many male & female partners and just live sex with both.
The difference is. When I'm sucking a nice cock it's just sex but when I'm with my wife we still 'Make Love'.
People may not believe me but it's the truth. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could talk to her, crazy idea I know but....
Fully agree, comms is the way to go.
Reading between the lines of the OP he's explored this side of himself and thought the risks to his marriage was too much, and yet he had these inner feelings and desires. We all know how powerful sexual desire can be, it is deep within us.
Now he's realised he made a mistake, he can't turn the clock back but is asking for help to make it right with his wife.
Talking it through in whatever way you choose to do it is probably the best way. If the full truth looks like it would destroy her then it's up to you OP to judge whether it's better to keep her in the dark on this or not. All I can do is wish you the best of luck and hope it turns out well for you both.
Thank you so much for understanding & taking the time to reply. I know of the implications & may have to NOT include my wife in my dark desires.
My sexual preferences have always been the same and have many male & female partners and just live sex with both.
The difference is. When I'm sucking a nice cock it's just sex but when I'm with my wife we still 'Make Love'.
People may not believe me but it's the truth. X"
So just to be clear, you've always identified as bi but never told your wife?
If that's the case it seems that on some level you know what her reaction is most likely to be (i.e negative).
Frankly I couldn't imagine being married to someone I couldn't share that with. Lots of people have already posted nice ways you could introduce the topic to her. But if the reaction is negative then you probably should have mentioned this sooner (i.e you can't fix it now) and you should keep calm and carry on as normal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well if you always knew then you could have told her before she committed.
If it's something that you uncovered about yourself during the marriage that's one thing but hiding it from her is plain deceit.
As it would be for her doing the same to you. Whether that be sleeping around, building up debt in your names, or not telling your partner about a health issue.
How can it be love if you don't share?
The whole purpose of marriage is to share your lives.
Not to pretend to share.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am happily married and happily bisexual but my wife does not know about the latter.
I am meeting people off this site and have sucked some gorgeous cocks but I was wondering if anyone has got their wife to accept and watch her husband sucking cock in front of her.
She doesn't have to join in if she doesn't want to either.
Any idea's/tips/stories etc??
Thanking you. X"
If, as you say, you are happily married, I presume this means that you enjoy a good sex life together. Given that, why not try discussing and then possibly realising some of her fantasies before introducing your own ? It may well be that she just wants to enjoy the fantasy without making it happen for real, in which case she is unlikely to want to dabble in the swinging world.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hello O.P.
I don't have a wife and I don't know anyone who has convinced their wife to watch them suck cock.
So I can't help you.
Good luck x
Thank you for your advice as I am feeling quite isolated and it's nice to know it's not just me with this secret.
Thank you again. X
Having been through this situation,though it never involved any cheating as I never acted upon it until AFTER the discussion had been had, I can only say to the OP that talking to your partner is the only thing that will resolve it.
Quite how you broach the subject is very much dependant on your partners overall feelings on alternative lifestyles, etc.
All I know is that we had a number of years of talking before we took the bi plunge and now we are so glad we did as it is something we build into our meets and enjoy together.
You do have the added complications of having played away before talking to her and that could blow up in your face,for which I doubt any advice you get here will help."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes it pays to move at the right pace.
She may be devastated that she's not in the secure faithful marriage that she believes she may be in, with a straight man.
At one extreme you could leave photos of your cock sucking around your home, so she gets it. Or you could confide in her some of your thoughts, testing the waters.
The relationship may not sustain one party having fun on the side, so consider her feelings and what could happen."
I will approach the subject but I'm unsure I can leave cock photos round the house but to family being there. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd say, tell her you fancy a threesome jokingly or ask her if she would like another randy Andy to join in, spice it up. Don't mention this site, if she says yes then sign up together. That would be the easiest way to, 'suck a gorgeous cock' in her midst.
I certainly wouldn't tell her your bi then mention fab then say you want her to watch you suck dick! "
That is a great answer & if we have a play mate his cock could be placed in my mouth and I would wait for a response. If she carries on regardless I've cracked it. If she says to stop I will respect this but carry on sucking cock in secret. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Has she got a strap on?
Start from there and gradually take things further and suggest trying "different things" "
We don't have a strap on but I would love one but we do have butt plugs & vibrators that she does insert in my hole. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd say, tell her you fancy a threesome jokingly or ask her if she would like another randy Andy to join in, spice it up. Don't mention this site, if she says yes then sign up together. That would be the easiest way to, 'suck a gorgeous cock' in her midst.
I certainly wouldn't tell her your bi then mention fab then say you want her to watch you suck dick!
Haha. I will have to stop myself licking my lips as soon as I see the cock too!!
Really ??? I think it would be better to be open about his 'bi' tendencies first.
Bit of a shocker when you sign up and your 'straight' hubby elbows you out of the way of the 'visiting' cock."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do what my ex did ask would she have a three some and accidentally if she agrees come across this site join as a couple and go from there you may have to hold off on the bi bit til she gets used to the having a 3 some I would suggest a mff first a lot of blokes do hope it works out x"
I would love that too. Thank you. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Piss poor to be doing what you're doing behind your wife's back.
I feel sorry for her
Really? ?!! Is there a need to attack the guy ?? He asks a simple question you don't agree with what is happening wind your neck in andiignore the post. "
Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
well said, too many "high court judges" in here, live and let live is our motto and we only get pissed off if others criticize us lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"To the OP....welcome to the forum. I have no advice other than to talk to your wife, although talking about fantasies could be a good start if you still have a sexual relationship.
Good luck. "
Thank you for your nice comments. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Does your wife enjoy erotic stories, porn or straight swinging?"
She's not that sexual anymore but she loves me going down on her so she cums over my face. We do have a half decent sex life. When it's good it's good. When there's none there's none though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You know your wife,we don't. In my marriage my husband and I were close enough to be able to talk about anything. If he had wanted to suck a cock or fuck a woman in front of me he would have said without fear of me throwing a fit or leaving. Do you know your wife well enough to feel safe in telling her? It doesn't matter how you go about saying it,it's how she will react that you should think about. You could carry on sucking cocks without her knowing anything about it but if you aren't careful she could find out. You then have to face the consequence. "
We do talk but she's a bit conservative about sex. I would find it so sexy if she said yes though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Don,t people do pillow talk when there in bed having sex telling each other your fantasies like,s or don,t like,s or is this how our happy marriage for 43 years swinging 36 as gone wrong
Doing this is what led us to swinging and to enjoying many different experiences together.
You should rewind a bit. Find out if she has any fantasies and take time exploring them together. Trusting and learning about each other can make your sex lives very exciting, doing it behind her back is unfair as u haven't even tried to accomodate her feelings and possible fantasies.
Do it together and no one gets hurt. Or like someone else said, you could end up possibly divorced. If u have kids, why would u put a blow job before their happiness and health?
Openness with each other is a door to enjoyment but secrecy is damaging and can damage not just yours and your wifes lives but also others that are close to u.
Sex with someone else shouldn't come before your family. Whatever the circumstance.
At least not before youve even explored the possibility with the person ur supposed to love the most."
I know you're totally right and will attempt to discuss this with my wife but the devil inside sometimes takes over. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If your happily married then you should know what she likes and doesnt most women i know like this as it means they get to have 2 cocks just mention it and see "
I would love to play with another man with my wife and she can have as much cock as her husband. So sexy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think it's hard to give advice when we don't know the whole story. So people can't be blamed for trying. eg. Does she swing already?"
She doesn't swing as very private. Unlike her husband. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"In the end the only way to tell her is to tell her.
The caution is because you don't know how she will react.
But none of us can tell you that.
In the end it's better you tell her than her finding out another way.
Preferably would have been before you acted on it, but that boat has sailed.
If you don't tell her then the only option left is to live a lie. Either by denying yourself or denying her the truth.
Its hard to make recommendations as none of us will know the outcome and the easiest time to tell her has already passed."
I will of course attempt a way to approach this subject and see what happens. Fingers crossed. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The few things that stand out are, discussion, toy play and an experiment and porn / stories
Been bi but second wife didn't know and she was a swinger, when I did tell her (after the divorce) I was all the names under the sun ! But it was OK for her to be bi (double standards)
If you and your wife already engage in porn films or stories change the theme if not suggest watching / reading stories if at that point she isn't willing to engage I'd leave it well alone
It's not always what you do or want to do that hurts people, it's the dishonesty of doing it with out telling them that hurts"
Thank you for your honesty. It means a lot as now I know I'm not a freak/disgusting/pervert etc. x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's a tricky situation and my advice is to see what she thinks in a subtle and roundabout and slow way, then you will be able to test the waters of what she might be thinking without committing yourself. People change over the years and have different needs but clearly good communication is key to moving forward in whatever direction life might send you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's a tricky situation and my advice is to see what she thinks in a subtle and roundabout and slow way, then you will be able to test the waters of what she might be thinking without committing yourself. People change over the years and have different needs but clearly good communication is key to moving forward in whatever direction life might send you."
I know. I will definitely test the water but I won't push it if it feels inappropriate. Thanks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe those being judgemental on his lifestyle choices should ask themselves if 'vanilla' people would be judgemental on their own lifestyle choices. The answer, usually, would be a yes. Shouldn't judge a man unless you've walked in his shoes. There's no rule saying everyone has to fit into your own category of fun. Room for everyone on here."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does your wife enjoy erotic stories, porn or straight swinging?
She's not that sexual anymore but she loves me going down on her so she cums over my face. We do have a half decent sex life. When it's good it's good. When there's none there's none though. "
Maybe explore a fantasy where you are eating a creampie. Things could move on from there. Alcohol helps! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
