FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Beware of fakes
Beware of fakes
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Been chatting on here to a so called single man for a week or so.We decided to chat some more somewhere else only to get a "whose this"off his partner on his phone.He was working and she had gone through his phone and seen our chats.Just chatting about Fab etc and she wasnt happy to say the least.We feel awful about this,that its caused her so much anguish and its not our fault we were duped into thinking he was single like he stated on his profile.Anybody else had this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I was chatting to a so called single guy for a week or so when got a call from his number, which was his wife!!... Got called all the names under the sun!!... Surely not my fault!!! |
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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
Yes we have had something similar
We had been chatting on fab to a single female for a few days and decided to exchange numbers, we had arranged to chat on the phone when the house was quiet at an arranged time and when I rang the number we had been texting all we got was the answer phone so I decided to leave it till the next day and this time I withheld my number and a guy answered so I reported and blocked " her " !!!
I am very sceptical about the amount of genuine profiles on here
Anna x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah just tell them to have a go at their hubby. My sister does say that, sometimes they tell her to keep him coz they don't want him any more All she was doing was texting someone she thought was available.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single.."
I never assume that about people who can't accommodate
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single..
I never assume that about people who can't accommodate
"
nor me,i dont accom,i have a good reason.so blokes can have good reasons too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single.."
Sweeping generalisation. What about those that can only accommodate from "time to time"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single..
Sweeping generalisation. What about those that can only accommodate from "time to time"?"
Better than at a hotel daytime or early evenings  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Let's face it, there will be a significant percentage of 'single' guys on the site that aren't single. Could be higher than 50%"
I said lots as well.. someone got upset lol  |
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"Aww that's shitty. .did you reply to her?Yeah but didnt know what to say to her.We felt dreadful."
It isn't your fault. A lot of people on here without their partners knowledge say they aren't hurting anyone though  |
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single.."
Its a hint that they have kids or want to keep this side of their life away from their real life, surely? We live together but we would never accommodate, even if they kids are away ... |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single..
"
Rubbish. I know loads of cheaters that accommodate in their home and I know loads of genuine singles that won't accommodate for a plethora of reasons.
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"Aww that's shitty. .did you reply to her?Yeah but didnt know what to say to her.We felt dreadful."
personally i wouldnt say a thing, stay clear and dont get involved any more.
She wont want to believe he is cheating and could turn on you putting you through hurt that you dont need, or deserve.
leave him to sort it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single.."
Not entirely true, might be single living with family friends, lodger etc |
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single..
Sweeping generalisation. What about those that can only accommodate from "time to time"?
What about the ones who can accommodate, are in a relationship but just don't tell their partner?
There are a few like that as well, even on this thread!
Who? Who? Who?  "
US! I'm in a relationship with Mr N I've just kept it from him for 35 years, I might break it to him tomorrow |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol.
But porn never cheats!
It does deceive though..."
And men, women and couples never deceive 
Masturbation, at least it's sex with someone you love, your hand never cheats on you, or gives you an STI or gets pregnant. You hand never complains thats it tired, or got a headache, or is too full of pizza to play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol."
There are many reasons why this may be so, each backstory will be different. So it's very easy to moralise without knowing the facts in each case.
I feel for the OP as they unknowingly found themselves in this situation and have unfairly been in the receiving end of a nasty surprise. People should have the facts to hand if someone is on here 'alone' without a partner so they can make an informed choice about whether to proceed. For some it's a red line they absolutely won't cross, for others it isn't.
I'm always amazed at the number of good looking, articulate, ripped, hung, successful and charming guys of a certain age (you know EXACTLY the type who would have absolutely no problem attracting a wife or girlfriend etc) who are single on here ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't accomodate because my bed is broken and held up by storage boxes and I can't afford a new one at the minute. Does that make me a cheat? Lol "
No, it makes you a very enterprising young lady and hell girl I like your style  |
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"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol.
There are many reasons why this may be so, each backstory will be different. So it's very easy to moralise without knowing the facts in each case.
I feel for the OP as they unknowingly found themselves in this situation and have unfairly been in the receiving end of a nasty surprise. People should have the facts to hand if someone is on here 'alone' without a partner so they can make an informed choice about whether to proceed. For some it's a red line they absolutely won't cross, for others it isn't.
I'm always amazed at the number of good looking, articulate, ripped, hung, successful and charming guys of a certain age (you know EXACTLY the type who would have absolutely no problem attracting a wife or girlfriend etc) who are single on here ..."
What are your thoughts?
Would you tell your partner? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol.
There are many reasons why this may be so, each backstory will be different. So it's very easy to moralise without knowing the facts in each case.
I feel for the OP as they unknowingly found themselves in this situation and have unfairly been in the receiving end of a nasty surprise. People should have the facts to hand if someone is on here 'alone' without a partner so they can make an informed choice about whether to proceed. For some it's a red line they absolutely won't cross, for others it isn't.
I'm always amazed at the number of good looking, articulate, ripped, hung, successful and charming guys of a certain age (you know EXACTLY the type who would have absolutely no problem attracting a wife or girlfriend etc) who are single on here ...
What are your thoughts?
Would you tell your partner?"
No. But I can't comment on anyone else as I have absolutely no idea about their circumstances. |
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By *entkevMan
over a year ago
Dover |
The slip side is being on here alone and being honest about being married but playing behind her back.
I've learnt honesty with regard to this situation can often lead to abuse.
I don't condone what I do, obviously it's something I live with. But I do wonder about the abuse... is this not a swinging/sex site, we are not here to morally judge each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol.
There are many reasons why this may be so, each backstory will be different. So it's very easy to moralise without knowing the facts in each case.
I feel for the OP as they unknowingly found themselves in this situation and have unfairly been in the receiving end of a nasty surprise. People should have the facts to hand if someone is on here 'alone' without a partner so they can make an informed choice about whether to proceed. For some it's a red line they absolutely won't cross, for others it isn't.
I'm always amazed at the number of good looking, articulate, ripped, hung, successful and charming guys of a certain age (you know EXACTLY the type who would have absolutely no problem attracting a wife or girlfriend etc) who are single on here ...
What are your thoughts?
Would you tell your partner?
No. But I can't comment on anyone else as I have absolutely no idea about their circumstances. "
That's right. I do guess many chose the single life tho as its a lot less complicated than having a partner aint it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The slip side is being on here alone and being honest about being married but playing behind her back.
I've learnt honesty with regard to this situation can often lead to abuse.
I don't condone what I do, obviously it's something I live with. But I do wonder about the abuse... is this not a swinging/sex site, we are not here to morally judge each other. "
The self righteous holier than thou's do though  |
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"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol.
There are many reasons why this may be so, each backstory will be different. So it's very easy to moralise without knowing the facts in each case.
I feel for the OP as they unknowingly found themselves in this situation and have unfairly been in the receiving end of a nasty surprise. People should have the facts to hand if someone is on here 'alone' without a partner so they can make an informed choice about whether to proceed. For some it's a red line they absolutely won't cross, for others it isn't.
I'm always amazed at the number of good looking, articulate, ripped, hung, successful and charming guys of a certain age (you know EXACTLY the type who would have absolutely no problem attracting a wife or girlfriend etc) who are single on here ...
What are your thoughts?
Would you tell your partner?
No. But I can't comment on anyone else as I have absolutely no idea about their circumstances. "
Nor us, but we feel honesty is always the best policy rather than running the risk of turning some poor person's life inside out.
If circumstances are that bad, at least both partners get a choice of what they find acceptable fron each other. |
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"The slip side is being on here alone and being honest about being married but playing behind her back.
I've learnt honesty with regard to this situation can often lead to abuse.
I don't condone what I do, obviously it's something I live with. But I do wonder about the abuse... is this not a swinging/sex site, we are not here to morally judge each other. "
No we aren't here to morally judge each other but it's part of the human condition and it will happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pity woman wife gf had to find out that way but hey ho its 2015 we are more liberated best to leave him to it tho but it doesn't mean all single guys are cheats |
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"The slip side is being on here alone and being honest about being married but playing behind her back.
I've learnt honesty with regard to this situation can often lead to abuse.
I don't condone what I do, obviously it's something I live with. But I do wonder about the abuse... is this not a swinging/sex site, we are not here to morally judge each other.
The self righteous holier than thou's do though "
It is a swinging site not just a sex site.
The question that we find ourselves asking time and time again, is this;
Is swinging and cheating the same??
We think not, but that is only our opinion. |
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"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol.
But porn never cheats!
It does deceive though...
And men, women and couples never deceive
Masturbation, at least it's sex with someone you love, your hand never cheats on you, or gives you an STI or gets pregnant. You hand never complains thats it tired, or got a headache, or is too full of pizza to play "
My hand does things with other people, gets tired (lucky I have a wand) and often holds pizza in preference to touching me - should I get a divorce from it? |
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"Pity woman wife gf had to find out that way but hey ho its 2015 we are more liberated best to leave him to it tho but it doesn't mean all single guys are cheats "
We agree.
We have met many genuinely single guys in this lifestyle.
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"Women cheat, men cheat, couples cheat lol.
But porn never cheats!
It does deceive though...
And men, women and couples never deceive
Masturbation, at least it's sex with someone you love, your hand never cheats on you, or gives you an STI or gets pregnant. You hand never complains thats it tired, or got a headache, or is too full of pizza to play
My hand does things with other people, gets tired (lucky I have a wand) and often holds pizza in preference to touching me - should I get a divorce from it? "
Damn!!
You have a cheating hand!
We think you need to have a honest chat about your relationship with that hand of yours!! |
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"The problem with accusing other people of being judgemental is that one can often be judgemental oneself while doing it. Is it judgemental or is it expressing opinions."
I think being judgemental towards other people is just a way of them seeing what it is like to be on the receiving end ... some can give it out, but not take it. To be honest, I think some people are on here just to castigate others .... as if there is not enough drama in the world |
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"The problem with accusing other people of being judgemental is that one can often be judgemental oneself while doing it. Is it judgemental or is it expressing opinions.
I think being judgemental towards other people is just a way of them seeing what it is like to be on the receiving end ... some can give it out, but not take it. To be honest, I think some people are on here just to castigate others .... as if there is not enough drama in the world"
Thing is, some people on here plainly don't like it if opinions don't match theirs.
Whilst many people are cheating on here and they say they will live with it, it certainly doesn't make it right.
And that is not making judgement or taking the moral high ground.
If it was right, why feel the need to hide it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely shed loads of "single" guys on here who are definitely not....... A 40+year old guy who cannot accommodate has to be very rare in reality....but about 80% on here...... Just something, amongst others to look out for! |
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"Many people hide the fact that they swing - does that mean its not right either?
Or another way to look at it....they don't discuss their sex life with others "
True.
If they are single then keep it private, if they are a couple be open and honest with each other.
That is what we have found anyway. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"The slip side is being on here alone and being honest about being married but playing behind her back.
I've learnt honesty with regard to this situation can often lead to abuse.
I don't condone what I do, obviously it's something I live with. But I do wonder about the abuse... is this not a swinging/sex site, we are not here to morally judge each other. "
It can often feel on the forums as though some people think "well they're meant to be 'swingers' so they shouldn't be discerning about who they play with" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Slow day in the forums, 2 cheating related threads in one day....
OP, people lie on here as they do in real life, it's not right but it's the chance you take on an internet site.
On a side note as this woman has found out no good comes from invading another's privacy. She needs to deal with what she probably suspected and move on.
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"The slip side is being on here alone and being honest about being married but playing behind her back.
I've learnt honesty with regard to this situation can often lead to abuse.
I don't condone what I do, obviously it's something I live with. But I do wonder about the abuse... is this not a swinging/sex site, we are not here to morally judge each other.
It can often feel on the forums as though some people think "well they're meant to be 'swingers' so they shouldn't be discerning about who they play with" "
We get that impression as well from some threads on here. " They are Swingers, they will fuck anyone"
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The only impression I get from some of the forum threads lately is - they are swingers, they have become so entrenched in convincing themselves that what they do and how they behave is right that they go on a moral crusade against anyone who disagrees with them about anything - be it gushing, swinging without their partner, meeting black guys or not, meeting bi guys or not, etc. Its not a good look to be honest and not what we experience on the scene as we partake of it - people we meet and socialise with are easy going and friendly, and we rarely play with them, its more of a social thing at the moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only impression I get from some of the forum threads lately is - they are swingers, they have become so entrenched in convincing themselves that what they do and how they behave is right that they go on a moral crusade against anyone who disagrees with them about anything - be it gushing, swinging without their partner, meeting black guys or not, meeting bi guys or not, etc. Its not a good look to be honest and not what we experience on the scene as we partake of it - people we meet and socialise with are easy going and friendly, and we rarely play with them, its more of a social thing at the moment"
spot on. To get the most out of the scene concentrate on those you want to meet and who want to meet you - is it worth expending time and effort on those you're not compatible with? Happy swinging / casual sex (whatever you want to label it) everyone!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Absolutely shed loads of "single" guys on here who are definitely not....... A 40+year old guy who cannot accommodate has to be very rare in reality....but about 80% on here...... Just something, amongst others to look out for!"
When you say accommodate... Does a shed in the back of my house count? Does my car ? Does a travel lodge?  |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
To me, it often comes across as entitlement and people getting upset if they are not getting what they think they are "entitled" to.
But as mentioned above, this is really only seen in the forum, and not so much in clubs, parties, private meets, private messages etc.
The forum is a very small part of fab, which is, in itself, only a part of UK swinging etc. And of course this is only my perspective of a small part of a small part! |
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I would say it is less likely, taking all things into account, to be able to scratch the itch here .... only saying as I had experienced someone cheating without me knowing, and not right in front of my face, but you are right, it can happen anywhere - we met on here - but of course we were both single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't excuse people fucking about but I've no right to judge either. Humans don't want monogamy and it's obvious.
What I do have a problem with is the far more dangerous characters on here gathering shite on people for political reasons.
Anyone can gather as much as they want on me but I would not be in rifle range (that's 1000m)when it hits the fan  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Feel for you ...
The whole point if fab is about being sexually open....
No judgement...
But lying is the biggest turn off...
But getting a call from an unsuspecting partner is wrong
And not the fault of you guys,you didnt do nothing wrong !! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I would say it is less likely, taking all things into account, to be able to scratch the itch here .... only saying as I had experienced someone cheating without me knowing, and not right in front of my face, but you are right, it can happen anywhere - we met on here - but of course we were both single"
Loads of people have left their partners for people they met whilst swinging as a couple. Ask around on here. It's by no means unusual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a guys numbers that I've blocked, and then I get chatting to another guy he gives me his number and when I put it in my phone it's already in there, it's the guy who I blocked who has comge back on another profile
. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single.."
Really !!! so single men cant live with family or kids like women,seems a little bit narrow minded I can/cant accommodate depending on the day/time,does that mean Im fake??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single..
Really !!! so single men cant live with family or kids like women,seems a little bit narrow minded I can/cant accommodate depending on the day/time,does that mean Im fake???"
Possibly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single..
Really !!! so single men cant live with family or kids like women,seems a little bit narrow minded I can/cant accommodate depending on the day/time,does that mean Im fake???
Possibly "
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I wonder if women actually do wear their partners balls as ear rings?
I prefer not to meet people who say they cannot accommodate. Be that men or women. It is my choice to do so.
I only meet at my local club. And yes, I'm absolutely sure that the people that I play with there are quite probably married or in a relationship. It is not my business though. I don't exchange numbers with any of them.
I have been in a relationship for 16 years, and don't accommodate as I have 2 teenage children. So my local club is what I have. I have never been contacted by an angry wife or husband because of this. I refuse to be a part of someone's 'game'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been chatting on here to a so called single man for a week or so.We decided to chat some more somewhere else only to get a "whose this"off his partner on his phone.He was working and she had gone through his phone and seen our chats.Just chatting about Fab etc and she wasnt happy to say the least.We feel awful about this,that its caused her so much anguish and its not our fault we were duped into thinking he was single like he stated on his profile.Anybody else had this?"
Yet many single women say 'no married men' on their profiles.
We're open to Mr having 1on1's with women with full blessing from Mrs. Could get more meets if I set up a fake single guy profile but don't like to lie, lot of women on here choose the liars.
End of the day you're going to get liars and cheats on a site like this, as you would in real life. Can't blame the next person for something the last person did, the next single guy you speak to might be everything you are looking for and more. Put it behind you and move on, it's his problem not yours, good luck. |
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"Absolutely shed loads of "single" guys on here who are definitely not....... A 40+year old guy who cannot accommodate has to be very rare in reality....but about 80% on here...... Just something, amongst others to look out for!"
Would a 40+, or even 50, year old woman who can't accomodate be just as rare in reality? |
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I was chatting to a couple on here. But it was just to the guy and he pretended to be the female also I reckon. He got me to book a hotel for a meet and guess what? No one turned up and he deleted the account! Was a shame really. Didn't get a sorry message or anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single.."
I don't accommodate and I'm 100% single I don't have people round due to my kids living at home couldn't risk their safety or risk them knowing what I get up to . I feel bad for people who are being cheated on it must be awful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been chatting on here to a so called single man for a week or so.We decided to chat some more somewhere else only to get a "whose this"off his partner on his phone.He was working and she had gone through his phone and seen our chats.Just chatting about Fab etc and she wasnt happy to say the least.We feel awful about this,that its caused her so much anguish and its not our fault we were duped into thinking he was single like he stated on his profile.Anybody else had this?"
Nope , we never give out or use phones . Only conversations we have are on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was chatting to a couple on here. But it was just to the guy and he pretended to be the female also I reckon. He got me to book a hotel for a meet and guess what? No one turned up and he deleted the account! Was a shame really. Didn't get a sorry message or anything."
Was the hotel a travel lodge? |
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"Absolutely shed loads of "single" guys on here who are definitely not....... A 40+year old guy who cannot accommodate has to be very rare in reality....but about 80% on here...... Just something, amongst others to look out for!
Would a 40+, or even 50, year old woman who can't accomodate be just as rare in reality?"
People in their forties and fifties have teenage kids at home, surely? |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"It's funny on the forums.
When men can't accommodate, they are dirty cheaters.
When women can't accommodate, they're being safe and good parents "
Because men are all evil, dirty, cheating scum bags
And women are sexual empowered, forward thinking, unicorn frolicking beauties |
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"Absolutely shed loads of "single" guys on here who are definitely not....... A 40+year old guy who cannot accommodate has to be very rare in reality....but about 80% on here...... Just something, amongst others to look out for!
Would a 40+, or even 50, year old woman who can't accomodate be just as rare in reality?
People in their forties and fifties have teenage kids at home, surely?"
Exactly, the lady slagging off men who don't accomodate doesn't accomodate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single.."
I am single and I have cannot accommodate on my profile - it can also be to do with privacy. It's not a sign of cheating necessarily! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lots of people cheating.. if they can't accommodate that's one of the hint that they aren't single..
I never assume that about people who can't accommodate
"
I can't accommodate as I feel it's disrespectful to my children who live with me, as it is their home, even when they aren't home...and it protects them and me from the stalker horror stories we all hear about! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Taken as a whole over 50% of people in relationships in the UK "cheat" so statistically it is more likely you will meet a cheater than a real single person.
You should recognise you are not responsible for their actions so if you get called by an "injured party" all you need to say is "It's not my problem or my fault. Speak to your partner. Don't call me again" Then block their number. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's funny on the forums.
When men can't accommodate, they are dirty cheaters.
When women can't accommodate, they're being safe and good parents "
welcome to the fickleness of the forums....
It's all irrelevant & speculation anyway! |
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