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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?
Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront... |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
I dont think its a case of honesty vs deceit, but rather a case of judgement about when you disclose that information. Too early and you have poor judgement, too late and you find you have committed a lot to a relationship that wont give you want you are looking for. |
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"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?
Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."
As someone into swinging and currently single myself I would prefer to find a relationship with someone who is also a swinger and into the scene already. Ultimately so we could then enjoy swinging as a couple.
If a prospective partner was totally vanilla though I think I would have to tell them about this at some point, it's never good to keep skeletons in the closet, they have a habit of coming out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?
Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."
Shut your mouth until you start becoming serious. No need to show your cards to early |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd wait a while. Maybe float around the subject in conversation, just to put the feelers out. Once you get more assured, just drink too much wine and tell him everything.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?
Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."
At first very definitely shut.
People have strange ideas of what 'swinging' actually is. |
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"I dont think its a case of honesty vs deceit, but rather a case of judgement about when you disclose that information. Too early and you have poor judgement, too late and you find you have committed a lot to a relationship that wont give you want you are looking for. "
This!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If dating for any kind of a relationship then yes, it needs to be right out in the open from the start!
I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't accept me as I am, including all the key parts of my life..
And I certainly wouldn't want to be with anyone who though that it was OK to start a relationship with me and not be upfront about it themselves!!!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?
Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."
Bearing in mind your a woman , and likely to get a punch in the mouth if a certain type of bloke thinks your cheating ,and would give you serious hassle I would say it straight away perhaps even before meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's a date ?  I've long since realised I'm not the type of women men want to date or to develop a relationship with.
However if I did by some miracle start dating someone I wouldn't mention my profile on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If dating for any kind of a relationship then yes, it needs to be right out in the open from the start!
I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't accept me as I am, including all the key parts of my life..
And I certainly wouldn't want to be with anyone who though that it was OK to start a relationship with me and not be upfront about it themselves!!!
"
Wow, I'd hate to be on a first date with you if you list everything like that and consider how far the relationship is going from the off. So, you decided the guy in front of you is long term, and start telling him your medical history, when you last had piles, how many men you've slept with, current length of pubic hair and that you're a swinger too....
Then comes the whoosh sound and the door swinging shut. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think how the topic is phrased is subjective also, for instance I'd be more inclined to say I'm sexually liberal, despite being more conservative because I have a list of things I want to do with someone, and doing them with people I'm closer to and more open with is better than with people I've just met |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you're buying him flowers ensure you pop a few pampas grass in too. "
Considered that but too subtle so planned to arrange our first date at Xtasia. 
But seriously, some diverse but interesting views, thanks |
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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago
North Yorkshire by the Sea |
if iI'I couldn't imagine being happy in a relationship without swinging, I'd probably wait until around the time my feelings were transitioning from dates to dating/ being in a relationship/ just before I'd be fine having sex with him kinda mindset and then be honest. If hes going to judge you, nothing lost on your part.
If I could accept the concept of never swinging if a partner didn't want to, I'd probably mention it if it ever came up as something I've done in the past and enjoyed, but Otherwise wait until I felt I relationship was strong before flirting with the idea.
Good luck x |
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By *WRCCouple
over a year ago
Molesey |
I began a new relationship in February. We met online (motorcycle scene, not dating or swinging). I came right out with my penchant for this and she was totally up for it (having not ever tried it). We are now happy, utterly in love, living together, and enjoying the occasional Fab dalliance!
So my opinion is come out with it if you want it at all.
R |
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We met on here and before that, the only guys I 'dated' were on here anyway. Realised that no vanilla guys really cut it and on other online sites they just were not honest. Have met the best man I could ever have wished for and my best friend all rolled into one on here ... |
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By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago
Hertfordshire |
"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?
Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront...
Bearing in mind your a woman , and likely to get a punch in the mouth if a certain type of bloke thinks your cheating ,and would give you serious hassle I would say it straight away perhaps even before meeting "
"Certain type of bloke" being a thug |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"I dont think its a case of honesty vs deceit, but rather a case of judgement about when you disclose that information. Too early and you have poor judgement, too late and you find you have committed a lot to a relationship that wont give you want you are looking for. "
Agree with this.
Although for me, I can't see me ever having a relationship away from swinging or fet so I'd have to be upfront from the start.
I suppose it depends on how valuable the lifestyle is to you and whether can you leave it. |
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