FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Advice please...
Advice please...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So this is mainly going out to all the ladies of fab and any males experiencing the same issues...
So, I'm after a little advice...
Personally think I send out a considerable amount of emails, and I do ok at getting replys ( roughly 1 in 3 reply )
Ladies can either reply carrying on the conversation started in the first email, that's cool alternatively just say hey... Either is good...
It's the next message I'm struggling with... I rarely get responses...
I'm polite.. Don't ask for a meet straight away, don't send cock pics, and try to be interesting yet struggle to get a response?
Is this because inboxes are getting filled up with new messages, women loose interest, I'm saying the wrong stuff??
A little advice would be appreciated...
Xx  |
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Ah the eternal Fab dilemma...
'Why wont those damn split arses talk to me!?'
I feel your pain bro. Keep sending your messages, keep trying to interact with the ladies that take your fancy I'm you will click with one eventually. Try the one's with low self esteem and self loathing first, they are pretty easy.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's not the fact they don't talk as I do ok at getting replies off of a first message...
It's the 2nd / 3rd message after they've said there interested they go mute...
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Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
If could be plenty of things.
We don't know you're message style/content. Could be that.
It could be the length of time on site with no veris. Will put some off, some it won't.
Only 1% of site users use the forums but some remember forum posts, so could be that.
But if what you're doing isn't working? Common sense says try something different.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling. "
Who nicked the jam out of your donut?
Chill |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling. "
Didn't specifically ask you to reply... If you haven't got anything constructive to say please refrain from saying it... |
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"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling.
Who nicked the jam out of your donut?
Chill "
I'm perfectly chilled but if you can't even figure out the correct place for a forum post..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Also you could try setting up a fake couple account and pretend the female half is out shopping all the time.
I WIN at best advice!!! "
Me and you would get along like a house on fire hahaha |
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"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling.
Didn't specifically ask you to reply... If you haven't got anything constructive to say please refrain from saying it... "
You don't have to ask me, it's a forum 
Anybody can answer, you're asking for advice and my advise is pay more attention, don't rush what you're doing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the op, we don't know the content of your messages so can't specifically point you in any direction.
Perhaps you're boring them,
Perhaps they've decided they don't fancy you after all
Perhaps they're not women to begin with.
There's dozens of reasons.
Chin up, toodle pip and onto the next victim  |
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"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling.
Who nicked the jam out of your donut?
Chill
I'm perfectly chilled but if you can't even figure out the correct place for a forum post....."
Did someone appoint you as the forum monitor? Any subject can be raised in the lounge. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling.
Who nicked the jam out of your donut?
Chill
I'm perfectly chilled but if you can't even figure out the correct place for a forum post.....
Did someone appoint you as the forum monitor? Any subject can be raised in the lounge. "
Yehhhh!!! What she said !!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling.
Who nicked the jam out of your donut?
Chill "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So this is mainly going out to all the ladies of fab and any males experiencing the same issues...
So, I'm after a little advice...
Personally think I send out a considerable amount of emails, and I do ok at getting replys ( roughly 1 in 3 reply )
Ladies can either reply carrying on the conversation started in the first email, that's cool alternatively just say hey... Either is good...
It's the next message I'm struggling with... I rarely get responses...
I'm polite.. Don't ask for a meet straight away, don't send cock pics, and try to be interesting yet struggle to get a response?
Is this because inboxes are getting filled up with new messages, women loose interest, I'm saying the wrong stuff??
A little advice would be appreciated...
Xx "
Hi mate, don`t take it personally, from speaking to women on here they get mental amounts of messages all the time, so they end up looking at the ones they know, can`t speak for all of them, only the ones I`ve chatted with. |
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"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling.
Who nicked the jam out of your donut?
Chill
I'm perfectly chilled but if you can't even figure out the correct place for a forum post.....
Did someone appoint you as the forum monitor? Any subject can be raised in the lounge. "
If we look at it like that we might as well remove all the sections and have one forum which will be full of men whining they can't get a shag.
Look how much the swinging support section quietened down after they moved all the profile advice threads out of it.
And my point was he's not paying enough attention. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So this is mainly going out to all the ladies of fab and any males experiencing the same issues...
So, I'm after a little advice...
Personally think I send out a considerable amount of emails, and I do ok at getting replys ( roughly 1 in 3 reply )
Ladies can either reply carrying on the conversation started in the first email, that's cool alternatively just say hey... Either is good...
It's the next message I'm struggling with... I rarely get responses...
I'm polite.. Don't ask for a meet straight away, don't send cock pics, and try to be interesting yet struggle to get a response?
Is this because inboxes are getting filled up with new messages, women loose interest, I'm saying the wrong stuff??
A little advice would be appreciated...
Xx
Hi mate, don`t take it personally, from speaking to women on here they get mental amounts of messages all the time, so they end up looking at the ones they know, can`t speak for all of them, only the ones I`ve chatted with."
Cheers for the constructive advice... If cheddars had posted a comment like this we wouldn't have him still whining on would we... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So this is mainly going out to all the ladies of fab and any males experiencing the same issues...
So, I'm after a little advice...
Personally think I send out a considerable amount of emails, and I do ok at getting replys ( roughly 1 in 3 reply )
Ladies can either reply carrying on the conversation started in the first email, that's cool alternatively just say hey... Either is good...
It's the next message I'm struggling with... I rarely get responses...
I'm polite.. Don't ask for a meet straight away, don't send cock pics, and try to be interesting yet struggle to get a response?
Is this because inboxes are getting filled up with new messages, women loose interest, I'm saying the wrong stuff??
A little advice would be appreciated...
Xx "
You're a good looking guy, and your profiles well presented.
It's obvious you're good natured and intelligent. All I'd suggest is make sure you tailor your messages to suit who you're messaging? Home in on certain points of their profile (interests etc) and take it from there so the conversation has a good chance to flourish, hopefully avoiding stalemate.
If all else fails - dumb down 
S x |
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I respond to all polite messages politely in return.
But it can be tricky, go to your sent messages and read what you're sending and instead of thinking about what you'd like someone to say imagine what you could say in reply to it.
For example: "you're hot" "I love your pics" "wow its great that you replied". All of these are common second messages that I get and apart from saying thanks they are all conversational cul De sacs.
Do you send a face pic with your first message? If not send one with your second and suggest that if they like what they see to send one back. Then perhaps ask if they like to chat online or prefer to arrange a face to face. Ask actual questions that aren't necessarily about whether they want your cock (I'm not saying that's what you do but many do). |
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" If cheddars had posted a comment like this we wouldn't have him still whining on would we... "
I can see from that immature attitude why you may be struggling, I'm not the one making forum posts whining because I can't get a shag and then getting pissy when I get advice I don't like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Here's some advice...
Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling.
Who nicked the jam out of your donut?
Chill
I'm perfectly chilled but if you can't even figure out the correct place for a forum post....."
I guess you've never made a mistake? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There's no perfect answer, OP.
And don't let that monkey guy suggest that a good idea is to randomly show ladies your 'banana' IT DOESNT WORK!!!  "
I no haha, hence the reason I have no erection selection to view..
Cracks me up with his answers though!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I respond to all polite messages politely in return.
But it can be tricky, go to your sent messages and read what you're sending and instead of thinking about what you'd like someone to say imagine what you could say in reply to it.
For example: "you're hot" "I love your pics" "wow its great that you replied". All of these are common second messages that I get and apart from saying thanks they are all conversational cul De sacs.
Do you send a face pic with your first message? If not send one with your second and suggest that if they like what they see to send one back. Then perhaps ask if they like to chat online or prefer to arrange a face to face. Ask actual questions that aren't necessarily about whether they want your cock (I'm not saying that's what you do but many do)."
I've typed out my last sent message!! I'll
Forward it to you
X |
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"There's no perfect answer, OP.
And don't let that monkey guy suggest that a good idea is to randomly show ladies your 'banana' IT DOESNT WORK!!! "
My patented Dinosaur Cock Shot™ works every time though! I have a spread sheet with graphs. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I respond to all polite messages politely in return.
But it can be tricky, go to your sent messages and read what you're sending and instead of thinking about what you'd like someone to say imagine what you could say in reply to it.
For example: "you're hot" "I love your pics" "wow its great that you replied". All of these are common second messages that I get and apart from saying thanks they are all conversational cul De sacs.
Do you send a face pic with your first message? If not send one with your second and suggest that if they like what they see to send one back. Then perhaps ask if they like to chat online or prefer to arrange a face to face. Ask actual questions that aren't necessarily about whether they want your cock (I'm not saying that's what you do but many do)."
Was going to forward you my last message I sent out but finding it difficult due to you only want a man between 98 and 99 haha message me!! X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
" If cheddars had posted a comment like this we wouldn't have him still whining on would we...
I can see from that immature attitude why you may be struggling, I'm not the one making forum posts whining because I can't get a shag and then getting pissy when I get advice I don't like. "
Well I felt as though a immature childish attitude suited your immature childish first comment!!!
Best thing to do is speak when spoken to... Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This site has become real clicky, if you know what i mean. If you don't know anyone in the community personally then it's very hard to get a meet, hell even getting replies is just too much work sometimes.
To us men it's ignorance on their part, especially when we send a message and it's deleted straight away without even looking at our profile. To them it's perfectly normal because they are the ones getting the messages. You probably would have had more fun on here about 5-7 years ago, i know i did. TBH best advice i can give you, is go clubbing, not sex clubbing, just clubbing, you are a decent looking guy i'm sure you will pull, fab is more a place where people who already know each other can get together, at least these days it is |
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" If cheddars had posted a comment like this we wouldn't have him still whining on would we...
I can see from that immature attitude why you may be struggling, I'm not the one making forum posts whining because I can't get a shag and then getting pissy when I get advice I don't like.
Well I felt as though a immature childish attitude suited your immature childish first comment!!!
Best thing to do is speak when spoken to... Thanks "
Sure, you know what just keep doing what you're doing
It's going well for you so far... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" If cheddars had posted a comment like this we wouldn't have him still whining on would we...
I can see from that immature attitude why you may be struggling, I'm not the one making forum posts whining because I can't get a shag and then getting pissy when I get advice I don't like.
Well I felt as though a immature childish attitude suited your immature childish first comment!!!
Best thing to do is speak when spoken to... Thanks
Sure, you know what just keep doing what you're doing
It's going well for you so far... "
You come across as a very unpleasant person. Try more nice and less snarky |
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"I respond to all polite messages politely in return.
But it can be tricky, go to your sent messages and read what you're sending and instead of thinking about what you'd like someone to say imagine what you could say in reply to it.
For example: "you're hot" "I love your pics" "wow its great that you replied". All of these are common second messages that I get and apart from saying thanks they are all conversational cul De sacs.
Do you send a face pic with your first message? If not send one with your second and suggest that if they like what they see to send one back. Then perhaps ask if they like to chat online or prefer to arrange a face to face. Ask actual questions that aren't necessarily about whether they want your cock (I'm not saying that's what you do but many do).
Was going to forward you my last message I sent out but finding it difficult due to you only want a man between 98 and 99 haha message me!! X"
What can I say, I have particular tastes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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come now, you know there is always going to be a poster who starts off antagonistic, although seeing as how most of us single men are going through the same crap on here, you would think he would have more understanding, but alas..... |
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"come now, you know there is always going to be a poster who starts off antagonistic, although seeing as how most of us single men are going through the same crap on here, you would think he would have more understanding, but alas....."
Speak for yourself, I enjoy my time on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If could be plenty of things.
We don't know you're message style/content. Could be that.
It could be the length of time on site with no veris. Will put some off, some it won't.
Only 1% of site users use the forums but some remember forum posts, so could be that.
But if what you're doing isn't working? Common sense says try something different.
A"
The remembering forum posts is a good one. I certainly remember posts the OP has previously posted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good for you
Has it always been that way? did you start getting replies from the first message or did it take time and effort? Any frustration if things weren't working? |
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"Good for you
Has it always been that way? did you start getting replies from the first message or did it take time and effort? Any frustration if things weren't working?"
It took some adjusting yes but I figured it out for myself and got my first meet at around five months of casually using the site on and off followed by one month of putting serious effort in, learning from my mistakes and trying different approaches.
I got frustrated a few times but I knew it was because I was doing something wrong and couldn't figure out what it was and I'm good at puzzle solving.
Then I learned something, log on to the site after a wank and not before one
Then you're not being overly keen and coming off as desperate and you can have a conversation not involving sex increasing the chances of a conversation.
You see the phrase stimulate the mind and the body will follow a lot and it's true, if you can get them talking you're on your way.
Taking a more relaxed approached has definitely worked better and if I could drive I'd have a further three meets from women who contacted me first because they liked what I was saying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah so it didn't happen straight away and you had to try a few different things, so instead of antagonising someone who is clearly a bit frustrated why not just say that instead? Seriously this site is getting a reputation for being populated by rude people, i personally se it a bit different, but the antagonistic posts and general ignorance of what others are trying to achieve is really killing this place. Been on here on and off for since i was 16 and it used to be much easy to talk to people on here. |
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"Yeah so it didn't happen straight away and you had to try a few different things, so instead of antagonising someone who is clearly a bit frustrated why not just say that instead? Seriously this site is getting a reputation for being populated by rude people, i personally se it a bit different, but the antagonistic posts and general ignorance of what others are trying to achieve is really killing this place. Been on here on and off for since i was 16 and it used to be much easy to talk to people on here."
I did... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Come on bruh
"Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling."
Anyone would react negatively to chastisement when they were looking for advice. Not trying to say you meant it as an insult to him, but deffo wasn't friendly advice. More like "stop whining, no wonder you can't get any" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know you are looking for replies from single women, but as a woman in a couple I thought I could add my bit, for whatever it's worth...
We have had messages from single guys who I was originally interested in. So, I will often respond to those messages in a conversational way. At this point, I am likely to go and read their profile. If I like it, all is good. If I don't, I tend to let the conversation "fizzle," as Marc and I refer to it.
Now, assuming I liked the profile, a lot depends on how quickly the guy responds, and if he seems interested, or if we only get back a short, distracted message. So, if it takes a very long time to get a response (say, 5 days or longer) with no reason (like being on holiday) I usually let it fizzle because I don't have time for a meaningless convo that is going to take a month to get through. Same goes for a boring, uninterested reply. I simply don't have time. But, assuming that all is well again, then I usually know at that point whether I'd like to meet the guy in question and so we start talking about what we are all looking for, and when we are all generally available.
Having said that, there are two other things that could break it for me. The first is if a guy seems too full of himself and not very nice - this often comes out in later messages. That will put me right off. And the second is if I remember forum posts that were not particularly flattering (which, no offense intended, might be your problem?).
Hope my overly long post helps
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Come on bruh
"Put your forum posts in the correct place, the lounge is not for you crying you can't get a shag it's a break from swinging talk.
If you pay as much attention to titles and where to post threads as you do with everything else I can see why you are struggling."
Anyone would react negatively to chastisement when they were looking for advice. Not trying to say you meant it as an insult to him, but deffo wasn't friendly advice. More like "stop whining, no wonder you can't get any""
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So this is mainly going out to all the ladies of fab and any males experiencing the same issues...
So, I'm after a little advice...
Personally think I send out a considerable amount of emails, and I do ok at getting replys ( roughly 1 in 3 reply )
Ladies can either reply carrying on the conversation started in the first email, that's cool alternatively just say hey... Either is good...
It's the next message I'm struggling with... I rarely get responses...
I'm polite.. Don't ask for a meet straight away, don't send cock pics, and try to be interesting yet struggle to get a response?
Is this because inboxes are getting filled up with new messages, women loose interest, I'm saying the wrong stuff??
A little advice would be appreciated...
Xx "
Here's the thing , it's a matter of when you send the messages and the frame of mind the recipient is in at the time .
The first message can create a good start , and the second would normally be a bit more forward as to your intent .
Now if the recipient is feeling horny a bit of chat may be just what she's looking for . But if she's more into meeting and not chatting , the next message may lead her to think you are after getting off on the chat .
If you are more into the real meets and not online flirting , make your intention clear , and try to read into what she's after too . Is she making it clear what she's into ? Are you ?
To be absolutely honest it's much easier to message women who are making it clear from their profile / veris / status updates and use this info to make the messages you send relevant .
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah the eternal Fab dilemma...
'Why wont those damn split arses talk to me!?' !!!!!
I feel your pain bro. Keep sending your messages, keep trying to interact with the ladies that take your fancy I'm you will click with one eventually. Try the one's with low self esteem and self loathing first, they are pretty easy. "
'Why wont those damn split arses talk to me!?'!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We are funny creatures.
However, maybe like most women on here (potentially?) We have quite a picky screening process.
I'm unlikely to reply If:
You cannot construct a sentence in comprehensive English. I.e not "hi bbz. Hows you." And please don't use 'lol'
You're unobservant. "Hey, (insert incorrect name here, and copy &paste generic message) we can smell you a mile off.
You have no picture.
You have little information in your bio.
Your username. Be original, and try not in include profanities.
You're too pushy.
Your message is an elaborate description of how you intend to fuck me.
This list isn't completely exhaustive, but a good guide to go by.
Bottom line, if we aren't interested, move on.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are funny creatures.
However, maybe like most women on here (potentially?) We have quite a picky screening process.
I'm unlikely to reply If:
You cannot construct a sentence in comprehensive English. I.e not "hi bbz. Hows you." And please don't use 'lol'
You're unobservant. "Hey, (insert incorrect name here, and copy &paste generic message) we can smell you a mile off.
You have no picture.
You have little information in your bio.
Your username. Be original, and try not in include profanities.
You're too pushy.
Your message is an elaborate description of how you intend to fuck me.
This list isn't completely exhaustive, but a good guide to go by.
Bottom line, if we aren't interested, move on.
"
Would you say the list gotten so big cos of the huge male ratio here so you have to narrow it down?. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair OP, if you're getting replies on a 1 in 3 ratio I'd say you're doing blindingly well mate.
A lot of us don't even get our messages read, let alone replied to |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
OP have you thought about using Fab's chatrooms? You can have a conversation in half an hour that might take days/weeks to achieve through the message system. Also, you can see what women like to talk about on Fab, you can see what other guys do wrong, and you don't have to worry about 'timing' issues ("I wonder if she's read it, is she going to reply, should I message again" etc etc etc). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are funny creatures.
However, maybe like most women on here (potentially?) We have quite a picky screening process.
I'm unlikely to reply If:
You cannot construct a sentence in comprehensive English. I.e not "hi bbz. Hows you." And please don't use 'lol'
You're unobservant. "Hey, (insert incorrect name here, and copy &paste generic message) we can smell you a mile off.
You have no picture.
You have little information in your bio.
Your username. Be original, and try not in include profanities.
You're too pushy.
Your message is an elaborate description of how you intend to fuck me.
This list isn't completely exhaustive, but a good guide to go by.
Bottom line, if we aren't interested, move on.
Would you say the list gotten so big cos of the huge male ratio here so you have to narrow it down?."
It's not the volume of guys, or messages. I don't use this to quicken my search to find a perfect fuck, or screen my inbox quicker.
I would do this if I received one message a day or one hundred messages a day.. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are funny creatures.
However, maybe like most women on here (potentially?) We have quite a picky screening process.
I'm unlikely to reply If:
You cannot construct a sentence in comprehensive English. I.e not "hi bbz. Hows you." And please don't use 'lol'
You're unobservant. "Hey, (insert incorrect name here, and copy &paste generic message) we can smell you a mile off.
You have no picture.
You have little information in your bio.
Your username. Be original, and try not in include profanities.
You're too pushy.
Your message is an elaborate description of how you intend to fuck me.
This list isn't completely exhaustive, but a good guide to go by.
Bottom line, if we aren't interested, move on.
"
Pretty much agree with that .
And to add I look T past forum posts and if someone comes over as a jerk it's a no no |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are funny creatures.
However, maybe like most women on here (potentially?) We have quite a picky screening process.
I'm unlikely to reply If:
You cannot construct a sentence in comprehensive English. I.e not "hi bbz. Hows you." And please don't use 'lol'
You're unobservant. "Hey, (insert incorrect name here, and copy &paste generic message) we can smell you a mile off.
You have no picture.
You have little information in your bio.
Your username. Be original, and try not in include profanities.
You're too pushy.
Your message is an elaborate description of how you intend to fuck me.
This list isn't completely exhaustive, but a good guide to go by.
Bottom line, if we aren't interested, move on.
Would you say the list gotten so big cos of the huge male ratio here so you have to narrow it down?.
It's not the volume of guys, or messages. I don't use this to quicken my search to find a perfect fuck, or screen my inbox quicker.
I would do this if I received one message a day or one hundred messages a day.. "
That's a good answer and yes as you know what your looking for. |
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or View forums list | |
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