FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > question for females/couples: advice on getting partner into swinging
question for females/couples: advice on getting partner into swinging
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By *alifeuro OP Man
over a year ago
Farnborough |
Any women out there who were initially reluctant or not interested in swinging/threesomes but who later changed their mind? What made you do so? Have experienced being the extra man several times but as now married would love to have a threesome with my wife and another guy (could consider meeting a couple but mainly looking for someone for her to play with). Wife has had fantasies about this when younger but now seems not so keen on the idea, though so far we've mostly joked about it. Any couples out there where the wife/woman was initially hesitant but later changed her mind - and if so, what made you do so? I have no interest in pushing my wife into doing something she doesn't want, so it is only about trying to get her to acknowledge and expore her fantasies more deeply and if that means she is definitely not into it, that would be fine. Any tips or experiences would be helpful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Any women out there who were initially reluctant or not interested in swinging/threesomes but who later changed their mind? What made you do so? "
Mrs was very much against it for many years. A couple of years ago a male she knew made a pass at her, I said if you fancy him go for it have fun. She said no. A year later he made another pass. I convinced her to try it, though the sex with him wasn't great it turned me on that she'd done it, and she got turned on by me being turned on sort of thing.
To get her to try it with him I did 'dirty talk' sort of sex stories with her, put her in the situation, turned her on and gave her some great orgasms out of these scenarios.
Then signing up for another swinger site we had some fun putting photos up, and that particular site doesn't mind other sites getting mentioned and heard of fab that way and had some great meets from both sites, been a lot of fun for us both. |
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I was not interested at first infact it made me mega insecure... Why did he want to do this did he not love me anymore.. ect ect. Anyway I have fantasies of being with other men and regularly sucked his Cock whilst he fucked me with a dildo... So he shows me the fab site and I shrugged it off for months... Then I took over the messages and status updates it went mad! I've met 3 lovley blokes who are willing to join us in our 3some but time is very precious to us and we don't get much spare time so as of yet no 3some but plenty of offers! Xx |
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Your wife is an individual our experiences won't necessarily be of any use to you or her.
Reverse the situation and imagine how you would feel if she was discussing you like this. Talk to her, work this out with her if you can't do that from the start swinging is not for either of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you have to post on here asking hints in your marriage it's probably time to get a divorce .
I would definitely say if you have been meeting others here behind her back the same goes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you have to post on here asking hints in your marriage it's probably time to get a divorce .
I would definitely say if you have been meeting others here behind her back the same goes "
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
" I have no interest in pushing my wife into doing something she doesn't want, so it is only about trying to get her to acknowledge and expore her fantasies more deeply and if that means she is definitely not into it, that would be fine. . "
If you are looking for tips to get her into it when she has already said no then you do sound like you will be pushing her.
The thought is out there, if she wants to change her mind let her come to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've mild experience of the scene from a previous marriage, so I brought swinging up with my wife a few years ago, but she was quite unsure (& we had very young kids then so parked it up). Kids are getting a little order, so I brought it back up & sold the idea to her on the basis that we'd have a fun, carefree night with 'people watching' & just getting off on the sexual energy in the air. She loves dancing so I lobbed that one in too!
we actually had our first night in a swinging club a couple of weeks ago... we had a good time...it was fun (at the end of the night while we were in a private playroom, she even asked "do you want to watch me fuck another guy?"...so something obviously clicked in her head), but still some aspects she's unsure about (she doesn't like seeing any bi-action), but we're going to visit another club soon.
So to the OP, I'd say don't emphasize the swapping, full on sex etc...do emphasize that a night out in a swing club is just a fun, sociable night out that will recharge your sexual batteries! |
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"I've mild experience of the scene from a previous marriage, so I brought swinging up with my wife a few years ago, but she was quite unsure (& we had very young kids then so parked it up). Kids are getting a little order, so I brought it back up & sold the idea to her on the basis that we'd have a fun, carefree night with 'people watching' & just getting off on the sexual energy in the air. She loves dancing so I lobbed that one in too!
we actually had our first night in a swinging club a couple of weeks ago... we had a good time...it was fun (at the end of the night while we were in a private playroom, she even asked "do you want to watch me fuck another guy?"...so something obviously clicked in her head), but still some aspects she's unsure about (she doesn't like seeing any bi-action), but we're going to visit another club soon.
So to the OP, I'd say don't emphasize the swapping, full on sex etc...do emphasize that a night out in a swing club is just a fun, sociable night out that will recharge your sexual batteries!"
That worked for you, your relationship and your wife. This lady might be horrified by a club and go completely the other way. None of us can ever say how a woman we don't know will react. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am the opposite way round. One of my partners is not particularly interested in swinging. That's his call, he doesn't have to be. I'm not going to try and make him do it. I've told him that if he ever fancies it then we can try it and see if he enjoys it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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@_icecouple561 ...I agree completely, but from what I can gather the OP was after tips...& my tip would be to propose a visit to a club, but not focus on the dungeons, hard swapping etc - but more as a fun, sociable, sexy night out.
if you stay away from the open playrooms, dungeons etc....some clubs can be fairly tame ...if a noob fem partner is turned off by the social/bar area, then there's not much hope of her ever wanting to delve into swinging properly. |
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"@_icecouple561 ...I agree completely, but from what I can gather the OP was after tips...& my tip would be to propose a visit to a club, but not focus on the dungeons, hard swapping etc - but more as a fun, sociable, sexy night out.
if you stay away from the open playrooms, dungeons etc....some clubs can be fairly tame ...if a noob fem partner is turned off by the social/bar area, then there's not much hope of her ever wanting to delve into swinging properly."
Yes I understand what you're saying and if I knew the lady and she came across to me as the type of woman who would enjoy that sort of thing I'd suggest it myself.
I just think that if you want someone to acknowledge their fantasies the only way is to draw them out with loving encouragement and communication not discussing them with strangers on the net. That would be my tip  |
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By *alifeuro OP Man
over a year ago
Farnborough |
I probably didn't expresss myself clearly - just to clarify, I am not asking for tips on how to "convince" my partner to get into swinging. I'm simply curious how others got into the lifestyle and wondering if those who do so have always been interested in the idea of swinging, or whether some have come into it who originally had never thought about these things? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well me and my hubby was on a break anx then got bk together he showed the site to me and i fort give it a go and it helped are relationship loads also having a adventurous side helps lol x |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
OP, start listening to the Life on the Swing Set podcast, you might find episode 200 especially useful. Also try the Gangbang the Mailbag episodes where they answer questions, similar to yours, from the listeners. |
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