FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I want to meet but I'm too shy
I want to meet but I'm too shy
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure "
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and approach a bunch of random strangers while an audience watches you.
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh of they're talking now and will then butt in too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and approach a bunch of random strangers while an audience watches you.
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh of they're talking now and will then butt in too. "
No its pretty much the same for women but it's a start!!! Always gotta be someone who makes the first move to chat... |
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and
approach a bunch of random strangers
while an audience watches you
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh
of they're talking now and will then butt
in too. "
Are people really that ignorant and socially inept in clubs? I guess so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe work on your shyness in non sexual surroundings. Start talking to the people you wouldn't talk to in normal circumstances: the old fella in the paper shop, the person waiting for the bus. Just random stuff it doesn't need to be personal. Google the art of small talk and try a bit every day.
If you are too shy to talk to strangers then you really need to think is swinging for you?? Work on the shyness. Forget about the sex. If you are that desparate pay for it. If you are that shy even going to clubs and socials at this stage could destroy your confidence. When you feel ready then come back here and start again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and
approach a bunch of random strangers
while an audience watches you
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh
of they're talking now and will then butt
in too.
Are people really that ignorant and socially inept in clubs? I guess so. "
Some are...some aren't but until you try you never gonna decide if you like it or not. ..I know several people new to the scene who loved club on their first night. ..others who were unsure but if you struggle one on one then a club you can mingle or just take in the experience...was thinking more for the op as a see how it can be done and try it yourself... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and approach a bunch of random strangers while an audience watches you.
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh of they're talking now and will then butt in too.
No its pretty much the same for women but it's a start!!! Always gotta be someone who makes the first move to chat... "
pretty sure you don't have to walk through a group of wanking women to speak to a bloke :p |
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and approach a bunch of random strangers while an audience watches you.
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh of they're talking now and will then butt in too. "
Are the guys Virginia Creepers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and approach a bunch of random strangers while an audience watches you.
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh of they're talking now and will then butt in too.
No its pretty much the same for women but it's a start!!! Always gotta be someone who makes the first move to chat...
pretty sure you don't have to walk through a group of wanking women to speak to a bloke :p"
Actually I have had to crawl over a group of ladies to get to a certain guy....but that's another story lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and
approach a bunch of random strangers
while an audience watches you
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh
of they're talking now and will then butt
in too.
Are people really that ignorant and socially inept in clubs? I guess so. "
How is that socially inept?
In a group of people, one-to-one or standing in front of an auditorium and speaking I'm perfectly comfortable.
And I think the above description is my idea of absolute hell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Alcohol will cure that shyness.. take 2/3 Pints before chatting and remember to smile. "
NO, NO,NO....DON'T USE ALCOHOL (or valium or any other substances as a prop).....just remember we are all human beings, we all have confidence issues at some time in our life - nerves and shyness area good sign in a way - it shows you care and want to do well. There was a shy guy at a club the other night - he didn't speak, he just waited quietly, my hubby still gave him a turn with me! He was cute! Shynesss is often more attractive than brashness. Strike up conversations on a daily basis, concentrate on the person's face when you are talking to them - notice that what you say to them evokes a facial expression and gets them thinking. Practice makes perfect. When you can chat to a stranger in the corner shop visit a club social. Don't expect sex on first visit. Be patient. Join in forum chats too, you will get to know people a little bit that way as well, m x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Socials or clubs where there is no pressure
Christ clubs must be different when your a woman they can be daunting as hell when your a single bloke because you're trying not to merge into the weird creepy crowds of guys that hover around anything with a virgina but you've got to get past them and
approach a bunch of random strangers
while an audience watches you
then once you have struck up conversation the other r blokes go ahhh
of they're talking now and will then butt
in too.
Are people really that ignorant and socially inept in clubs? I guess so. "
Yep....all clubs have the gangs of grinning wankers on the sniff for a spare pussy.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two things OP - shyness CAN absolutely be "unlearned". My husband used to be very shy - it's gone. Google "overcoming shyness: "Fundamentally, overcoming shyness is a process of unlearning old thinking patterns and replacing them with new ones. A person needs to make a shift toward a more realistic, positive and constructive thinking style, and they will boost their social confidence. As a result, they will feel more comfortable in social situations and be more outgoing."
Also, HUGELY helpful is the Ted Talk on "power poses" by Ann Cuddy. I won't say "good luck" - because there is no luck involved - only a process - so get a grip on this now, you have your whole life ahead of you!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello guys, I'm 20, inexperienced bi guy from halifax, I am really shy when meeting people, do you have any suggestions ? Many thanks"
Ask your mum or your nan to come for moral support |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello guys, I'm 20, inexperienced bi guy from halifax, I am really shy when meeting people, do you have any suggestions ? Many thanks
Ask your mum or your nan to come for moral support "
Nice joke))) doesn't help))))) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello guys, I'm 20, inexperienced bi guy from halifax, I am really shy when meeting people, do you have any suggestions ? Many thanks
Ask your mum or your nan to come for moral support
Nice joke))) doesn't help)))))"
Sorry op I should not have been rude, do you have an auntie that could be accompany you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe work on your shyness in non sexual surroundings. Start talking to the people you wouldn't talk to in normal circumstances: the old fella in the paper shop, the person waiting for the bus. Just random stuff it doesn't need to be personal. Google the art of small talk and try a bit every day.
If you are too shy to talk to strangers then you really need to think is swinging for you?? Work on the shyness. Forget about the sex. If you are that desparate pay for it. If you are that shy even going to clubs and socials at this stage could destroy your confidence. When you feel ready then come back here and start again. "
Good advice, this is exactly what I did, although I didn't realise it at the time. Anyone can do it through practice |
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